The Lowdown: Recent Events.

[fragile_flowers]

Well. What can I say?

I'm sad. Angry. Pissed. Annoyed.

And to be honest, there's not a lot I can do about it.

Recent events have led to this. The amount of mistakes and stupid things I did today at work because of this stupid fucking mood was annoying. To the point where I thought 'fuck it, let's doing 16 hours straight rather than 8'. I so very

Comments

[miss_lexie]

I'm so sorry, Alice.

And I know you'll want to slap me for saying this, but it's not the site - it's me. I just ... don't have the time to make writing fanfiction a priority, when the rest of my life is so crazy. My readers are fed up, and I'm annoyed with it.

The forums are an entirely different matter, as are the friends I've made there (that's right, you guys). I can't leave you, not even if I tried. I just ... can't put into the RL as much as I want to anymore, because my studies have to be my priority, and running the RL is SO time consuming. I'm still going to be there, effectively ... I just can't be there as much. I've been thinking about it a lot. So - I'm finished with fanfiction, but that doesn't mean I'm finished with the forums. Does that make sense? Effectively, I won't "be" there anymore so far as stories and reviews and all that sort of thing are concerned, but I'll stay for the people. I'll always stay for the people

[fragile_flowers]

Ha - as if I could hurt you ;). I understand about the priorities (none of my stuff have been updated since Christmas, not that it's worth updating).

You've hit the nail on the head there, about the forums and the friends that we've all become. And I think that's what hurt's the most. Because, I don't know, I think I naivly thought that something... so catastrophic wouldn't happen to us. I guess, like all things, it's about cause and effect... and the breaking point.

I'm glad it doesn't sound silly. I guess, though, the difference between me and everyone else is that I've never put my stories first. It's always been the reading/ reviewing thing. Even that has lacked for me for a long time now.

The DATE. ;) Good times. I was with him for a while at shift change today, and it was the first time all day that I could forget about the problems with my friends here. I think there's potential ;)... I so don't want that song stuck in my head...

Love you too x

[fragile_flowers]

I feel like I should have written more about it. It was a let down really as the rest of the blog was a massive long rant. I can't believe that today was the first of September... that gives me 20 days at most...

I'm around. On the boards. I guess... in reality I did what everyone else is doing (fizzling out their fanfiction) a long time ago... but still, it hurts. And, I don't feel I should hurt over it. But then again it shows how deep all our connections are.

And my god, I'm rambling again...

[cuban_sombrero]

Wait, when am I leaving?

I'll have to cut back next year and actually try to study, but I'll be around most days.

I know what you're saying with the rant, though. It's like ff.net is the big excuse for why they can't control the rest of their lives... and even so, why leave completely when they have so many friends. *shrugs* I really don't get it.

In happier news, GO ALICE! It's so great to hear that you had a wonderful time. Are you going out again?

[fragile_flowers]

You're off for two and a half months aren't you??

I understand the studying. I do ;)

I agree. THE excuse... but, I've grown up with it. Does that make me stuck as the 13 year old child I was when I joined? I don't know... I don't think so... which is why I find it hard to grasp this idea of ff.net holding everything, everyone back. I mean.. I couldn't have done too badly right? I mean... I did date a 36 year old man... so I don't know ;)

I hope we're going out again. I was with him briefly today and for the first time since I posted this blog I managed to forget about my connection to everyone here. And the problems that we're all facing at the moment.

Love you, and talk soon x

[cuban_sombrero]

Oh, I'll still be around. I just won't be writing much between Japan, Nano and exams, but I'll still be posting to the forums and stuff.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Love Cuba xx