Fic: One Year Closer
Title: One Year Closer
Pairing: Ueda Tatsuya/Kamenashi Kazuya (+ AT-TN)
Rating: pg
Summary: A birthday drabble. Ueda is now afraid of death.
Disclaimer: Still not owning people. Ever.
Ueda sighed when he glanced at his phone once more. Jin had left him a message saying that Ueda needed to go to the dressing room that day because he had forgotten his guitar. No one was willing to bring it over to Ueda’s place, he had to come all the way back to pick it up. He knew exactly what was going on. He knew the instant he was distracted by Maru into looking at a magazine that Junno was creeping behind him to snatch the guitar. He knew that they were forcing him to come back because they had set up a ‘surprise’ birthday party for him. And Ueda wanted nothing more than to go home and curl into his bed.
It’s not that he didn’t love his friends. He did. A lot. He would just show it in a quiet and unique manner. Gently patting Maru’s shoulder when the older man was busy studying. Not tuning Koki out when he wanted to showcase a new rap he created. Smiling at Junno’s attempt at humor. Giggling with Jin at the randomness that would occur in the dressing room. And then there was Kame, who was a completely story altogether. They had their own signs of affection that no one else could join in on.
He was just upset that he was one year closer to his demise. Before he may have talked about death with a smile on his face, curious and even a bit excited. Yet now he feared it. He loved life too much to be wanting to leave it. He was also one year closer to leaving Johnny’s and into the bleak world outside. Would people still listen to his music when he was old?
When he reached the dressing room he heard quiet murmurs from the other side. He just wanted to get this over with. Opening the door slowly, he plastered on a smile and walked inside. He was greeted by a large colorful cake on the table in the center of the room and his grinning group.
“Happy birthday!” they all cried out in English and Ueda was sure one of them said Bathday. Definitely Jin.
“What, no candles?” Ueda joked easily before thanking everyone. Completely missing the pair of eyes that was studying him so closely.
Maru wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulder and grinned. “What were you going to do at home alone for your birthday.”
“Sleep.” Wait for it to be over.
“That’s so boring!” Jin cried out. “If I was in America, there would be fireworks on my birthday!”
“They’re not for you stupid,” Koki rolled his eyes and flopped down on the couch beside Junno, who was staring at the dessert.
“Cake now?” Junno asked quietly, looking at Ueda for permission.
“I’ll cut it,” Ueda nodded, shrugging off Maru’s hold on him. He wanted to fast-forward this celebration. He wanted to go to sleep and wait for tomorrow. A normal day, not a reminder.
After the group was sated with cake they began to bring out their gifts. Maru gave Ueda a colorful set of guitar picks, each with his name engraved on him or a small carving of a mouse. Junno gave him several action figures, probably from his own collection that Ueda commented on when he visited the other’s home. Jin gave him a new set of kitchen knives, warning him to never go to his apartment with them. Koki gave him a giant set of headphones with graphics painted over the plastic that he designed himself. Kame gave him a leather wallet with a chain because Ueda had a tendency to forget where he placed it in his place.
Then the conversation changed from Ueda’s birthday to complaining about their latest schedules and he began to feel a lot more comfortable. The anxiety was slowly ebbing away. Kame stated that he needed to go outside for a smoke and all but dragged Ueda with him.
Once they were outside, instead of digging in his pocket for the pack of cigarettes, the younger man looked Ueda square in the eyes and asked him what was wrong.
“Nothing. I’m happy you all did this,” Ueda’s eyes shifted. Could he really reveal his fear on an occasion that should be celebrated.
“You’re not. You look scared,” the older man cursed having a boyfriend that was so observant. They were both so alike in that matter. Both watching each other and others from aside and noting when something was wrong. Kame was just a lot quicker and vocal to announce it.
“I am. I’m just one year closer to dying. We’re all going to die one day,” Ueda began to rub his temple roughly, wishing that Kame decided to smoke. Although he wouldn’t have himself the wisps would have comforted slightly.
“What happened to the man who wasn’t afraid of death?” Kame asked, reaching out for Ueda’s hand and gripping it in his own.
The older man just stared up at the sky, relaxing into his boyfriend’s touch. “I didn’t know what I could lose back then.”
“Like what?” Kame tilted his head and turned to face him.
“My friends. My career. My youth. You,” Ueda allowed himself to be pulled into a tight embrace. Resting his chin on Kame’s shoulder he wished he could have the mentality he did when he was younger. Still morbid, but not scared.
“Hey, I don’t know what happens after we die. Heaven or hell. Jin’s idea of the big dance floor in the sky. But I love birthdays. Don’t think of them as another year closer to death. Think of them as another year of us being together.” Ueda wanted to point out how that did nothing to sooth his fears, but Kame pressed his lips against his own gently and it slowly began to make sense.
~*~
A/N: I can't write Kame or Ueda. =(
Pairing: Ueda Tatsuya/Kamenashi Kazuya (+ AT-TN)
Rating: pg
Summary: A birthday drabble. Ueda is now afraid of death.
Disclaimer: Still not owning people. Ever.
Ueda sighed when he glanced at his phone once more. Jin had left him a message saying that Ueda needed to go to the dressing room that day because he had forgotten his guitar. No one was willing to bring it over to Ueda’s place, he had to come all the way back to pick it up. He knew exactly what was going on. He knew the instant he was distracted by Maru into looking at a magazine that Junno was creeping behind him to snatch the guitar. He knew that they were forcing him to come back because they had set up a ‘surprise’ birthday party for him. And Ueda wanted nothing more than to go home and curl into his bed.
It’s not that he didn’t love his friends. He did. A lot. He would just show it in a quiet and unique manner. Gently patting Maru’s shoulder when the older man was busy studying. Not tuning Koki out when he wanted to showcase a new rap he created. Smiling at Junno’s attempt at humor. Giggling with Jin at the randomness that would occur in the dressing room. And then there was Kame, who was a completely story altogether. They had their own signs of affection that no one else could join in on.
He was just upset that he was one year closer to his demise. Before he may have talked about death with a smile on his face, curious and even a bit excited. Yet now he feared it. He loved life too much to be wanting to leave it. He was also one year closer to leaving Johnny’s and into the bleak world outside. Would people still listen to his music when he was old?
When he reached the dressing room he heard quiet murmurs from the other side. He just wanted to get this over with. Opening the door slowly, he plastered on a smile and walked inside. He was greeted by a large colorful cake on the table in the center of the room and his grinning group.
“Happy birthday!” they all cried out in English and Ueda was sure one of them said Bathday. Definitely Jin.
“What, no candles?” Ueda joked easily before thanking everyone. Completely missing the pair of eyes that was studying him so closely.
Maru wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulder and grinned. “What were you going to do at home alone for your birthday.”
“Sleep.” Wait for it to be over.
“That’s so boring!” Jin cried out. “If I was in America, there would be fireworks on my birthday!”
“They’re not for you stupid,” Koki rolled his eyes and flopped down on the couch beside Junno, who was staring at the dessert.
“Cake now?” Junno asked quietly, looking at Ueda for permission.
“I’ll cut it,” Ueda nodded, shrugging off Maru’s hold on him. He wanted to fast-forward this celebration. He wanted to go to sleep and wait for tomorrow. A normal day, not a reminder.
After the group was sated with cake they began to bring out their gifts. Maru gave Ueda a colorful set of guitar picks, each with his name engraved on him or a small carving of a mouse. Junno gave him several action figures, probably from his own collection that Ueda commented on when he visited the other’s home. Jin gave him a new set of kitchen knives, warning him to never go to his apartment with them. Koki gave him a giant set of headphones with graphics painted over the plastic that he designed himself. Kame gave him a leather wallet with a chain because Ueda had a tendency to forget where he placed it in his place.
Then the conversation changed from Ueda’s birthday to complaining about their latest schedules and he began to feel a lot more comfortable. The anxiety was slowly ebbing away. Kame stated that he needed to go outside for a smoke and all but dragged Ueda with him.
Once they were outside, instead of digging in his pocket for the pack of cigarettes, the younger man looked Ueda square in the eyes and asked him what was wrong.
“Nothing. I’m happy you all did this,” Ueda’s eyes shifted. Could he really reveal his fear on an occasion that should be celebrated.
“You’re not. You look scared,” the older man cursed having a boyfriend that was so observant. They were both so alike in that matter. Both watching each other and others from aside and noting when something was wrong. Kame was just a lot quicker and vocal to announce it.
“I am. I’m just one year closer to dying. We’re all going to die one day,” Ueda began to rub his temple roughly, wishing that Kame decided to smoke. Although he wouldn’t have himself the wisps would have comforted slightly.
“What happened to the man who wasn’t afraid of death?” Kame asked, reaching out for Ueda’s hand and gripping it in his own.
The older man just stared up at the sky, relaxing into his boyfriend’s touch. “I didn’t know what I could lose back then.”
“Like what?” Kame tilted his head and turned to face him.
“My friends. My career. My youth. You,” Ueda allowed himself to be pulled into a tight embrace. Resting his chin on Kame’s shoulder he wished he could have the mentality he did when he was younger. Still morbid, but not scared.
“Hey, I don’t know what happens after we die. Heaven or hell. Jin’s idea of the big dance floor in the sky. But I love birthdays. Don’t think of them as another year closer to death. Think of them as another year of us being together.” Ueda wanted to point out how that did nothing to sooth his fears, but Kame pressed his lips against his own gently and it slowly began to make sense.
~*~
A/N: I can't write Kame or Ueda. =(