Battleship Diaries Drabbles: Downton Abbey characters write about Carson & Hughes
For the lovebelowstairs Battleships contest (with bsg_aussiegirl and me writing, was it ever really a contest?) Diary entries with possible spoilers are at the end.
Daisy's Diary
Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes are just like my Ma and Da. Except Da is fond of a drop and Mr Carson is steady. Except Ma always shrieks at Da and Mrs Hughes waits until they're in her parlour. (Does she know we can hear them from the stairs?)
I've never heard Ma and Da use their Christian names. I snuck downstairs last night to scrub a pot I'd forgotten, and I heard them. I think they may have been hurt; she was moaning "Please, Charles" and he was breathing hard.
Other than that, they're just like Ma and Da.
Mary Crawley's Diary
I caught her glaring daggers at me again, like something out of Macbeth. Really, if she weren't so terribly efficient I'd have a word with her.
There's also the way Carson looks at her when he thinks none of us notice. It's rather like Papa looks at Mama, and I suppose I mustn't complain, but it's terribly inappropriate. Not because they're servants, but because they're so old. It's almost as though Granny had a suitor!
I don’t understand what Carson sees in her. He's usually so level-headed. Any port in a storm, I suppose. Who else would he turn to?
The London Housekeeper's Diary
I love my work. 9 months of the year.
How do I forget, from Season to Season, how much I hate these three months?
It's not the work. I like a bit of fuss and the chance to see all the finery. It's Mrs Elsie Bloody Hughes I can't stand.
For three blessed months all I ever hear from Mr Carson is "Mrs Hughes would do it this way" and "I've written Mrs Hughes to ask…" and " Mrs Hughes has suggested…" If he thinks she's perfection itself, why doesn't he marry the stupid cow and give me some peace?
Diary of Anna Bates Smith Bates
Sometimes I catch Mrs Hughes looking at me and Mr Bates. I think she envies me.
I know she loves Mr Carson but they're both married to service. Me and John are married to each other (let’s ignore Mrs Bates). If they really
loved each other they'd find a way to be together, like I keep trying to be with Mr Bates. Maybe I should draw Mrs Hughes a map of all the dark corners of the yard.
She can't love Mr Carson as much as I love Mr Bates. It's not everyone whose child gets sent to the moon.
Typing practice: Miss Gwen Dawson
asdfjkl; asdfjkl;
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
Now is the time for Mr Carson to come to
What on earth made me think of Mr Carson in the middle of the night?
Are those footsteps? Am I typing too loud?
Now it's voices. Mr Carson. Whispering. "Elsie"? She has a Christian name? "Elsie, love"?
Maybe I should type a little louder. There're things no one need hear.
The lazy brown cow jumped over…
Diary of Lady Sybil Crawley, Aged 17.5
Does a lack of romance make people cross?
Mary is always calm and flirting: Cousin Matthew, Evelyn Napier and that Turk. Edith is always in a state, and always pining for some man, any man.
Mama and Papa are always jolly. I've never seen Carson smile, nor Mrs Hughes. Whenever I ask one about the other they tut as
though I were a child.
This Season I shall charm all the boys. Perhaps I can charm Carson as well. Then I shall suggest he bring something home for Mrs Hughes. It would be such fun to see them both smile!
Thomas's diary (S1)
Old people should not be allowed to have sex. The very thought makes me sick.
If old people have to have sex, they ought not have it in the room next to mine. William sleeps through it, of course. It takes a brain to stay
awake when there's a headboard thumping against your wall.
My god, the old bat never stops talking, does she? Faster. Harder. There, Charles. I probably want her to put it in her mouth more than he does. It'd shut her trap.
Is it any wonder I steal wine? Only way to get a night's sleep.
William's diary
Thank you, Lord, for this day and all its bounty. Bless the kind people in this house, especially Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes. I miss my parents less when they're around. It's nice that you can get to be old and have someone like you as much as they like each other. They make me smile.
Please, Lord, hear my prayers.
I'd like Daisy to like me more than Thomas.
I'd like a day where O'Brien doesn't say something mean.
I'd like a pony.
I'd like Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes to be happy.
I'd really, really like that pony.
Diary of Her Ladyship Cora Crawley
I'm sure my daughters say I'm a silly sentimental fool and my American blood though I've lived in England longer than they have and they're
half-American.
I can't help myself. Being in the same room with Carson and Mrs Hughes when they've been disagreeing makes me smile. It's
adorable how they try to hide their friendship. He looks shoots her glares from under those big bushy eyebrows, and she purses her lips,
letting her accent thicken.
It’s terribly romantic of me to hope that after we've all gone to bed they have their own way of making up the quarrels.
Diary of Elsie Hughes, accidentally forgotten on the staff hall table
I know what people think of me. Torn faced. A bit of a nippy sweetie.
Which of course makes them think I'm secretly wanton and abandoned. No one could go around so dour all the time.
And with whom do they think me wanton? Mr Carson, of course. There's no one else around, is there?
Mr Carson? I never.
He's efficient and professional and a wonder at his work. He's the best friend I'll ever have. But romance? I've never seen him smile. And he's immense; he'd probably snap me in two.
But I'll never let anyone know the truth.
Diary of Elsie Hughes, carefully hidden in a locked drawer in the Pugs' Parlour
I've never heard of servants so prone to gossip as Downton's. Has nobody anything else to do with their time? Bad enough they gossip about the family. But when I caught Thomas trying to "enlighten" poor William about what Charles and I might do after the rest have gone to bed…
I've left Thomas a gift on the table. He'll never respect me enough not to read it.
Misdirection is the least he deserves. We'll have a good laugh about it tonight. I love Charles's laugh as much as I love the feel of him, solid and heavy, above me.
-------------------Possible spoilers-----------------------------------
Diary of Lady Rosamund Painswick (Spoilers for S2E2)
Does no one in my brother's family have eyes in their heads?
Two seconds after Carson collapsed there was Mrs Hughes. Why was she upstairs while dinner was served? I'm certain no one rang for her. My housekeeper would never presume. (Had I a housekeeper. They are so expensive; I hear Robert pays her £65 a year. For telling people what to do! I tell people what to do all the time, and no one pays me £65 a year.)
Matthew had Mrs Hughes show them to Carson's room. Interesting they assumed she knows the way. Interesting she really did.
Ethel's diary (minor, minor spoilers for S2E5)
She says she's never made a mistake like mine. Course not. She's never got the chance, has she?
Poor woman fancies Mr Carson. He's never noticed. If I hadn't caught caught him once watching her hips as she went up the stairs I'd think he was as bad as Sergeant Barrow. I made Major Bryant notice me, didn't I? I should give Mrs Hughes some lessons. Maybe if she fluffed her hair or smiled…
If they're going to do something, they'd better hurry before Carson's equipment rusts. It's not like she's young enough to risk making a mistake like mine.
From the diary of Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham (possible spoilers for the rest of S2)
This new maid has me thinking things I shouldn't.
I've only felt this way once before. I was young, newly married, lustful and would never burden a wife with those desires. No wonder I started eyeing the luscious young head housemaid.
I don’t think I'll ever forget the scolding she gave me when I hinted at an arrangement more domestic than professional. It's lucky she did. Cora would not have understood my having a bit on the side, and I think that even now Carson would soundly thrash me if he thought I'd ever caused his woman a moment's discomfort.
Daisy's Diary
Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes are just like my Ma and Da. Except Da is fond of a drop and Mr Carson is steady. Except Ma always shrieks at Da and Mrs Hughes waits until they're in her parlour. (Does she know we can hear them from the stairs?)
I've never heard Ma and Da use their Christian names. I snuck downstairs last night to scrub a pot I'd forgotten, and I heard them. I think they may have been hurt; she was moaning "Please, Charles" and he was breathing hard.
Other than that, they're just like Ma and Da.
Mary Crawley's Diary
I caught her glaring daggers at me again, like something out of Macbeth. Really, if she weren't so terribly efficient I'd have a word with her.
There's also the way Carson looks at her when he thinks none of us notice. It's rather like Papa looks at Mama, and I suppose I mustn't complain, but it's terribly inappropriate. Not because they're servants, but because they're so old. It's almost as though Granny had a suitor!
I don’t understand what Carson sees in her. He's usually so level-headed. Any port in a storm, I suppose. Who else would he turn to?
The London Housekeeper's Diary
I love my work. 9 months of the year.
How do I forget, from Season to Season, how much I hate these three months?
It's not the work. I like a bit of fuss and the chance to see all the finery. It's Mrs Elsie Bloody Hughes I can't stand.
For three blessed months all I ever hear from Mr Carson is "Mrs Hughes would do it this way" and "I've written Mrs Hughes to ask…" and " Mrs Hughes has suggested…" If he thinks she's perfection itself, why doesn't he marry the stupid cow and give me some peace?
Diary of Anna Bates Smith Bates
Sometimes I catch Mrs Hughes looking at me and Mr Bates. I think she envies me.
I know she loves Mr Carson but they're both married to service. Me and John are married to each other (let’s ignore Mrs Bates). If they really
loved each other they'd find a way to be together, like I keep trying to be with Mr Bates. Maybe I should draw Mrs Hughes a map of all the dark corners of the yard.
She can't love Mr Carson as much as I love Mr Bates. It's not everyone whose child gets sent to the moon.
Typing practice: Miss Gwen Dawson
asdfjkl; asdfjkl;
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
Now is the time for Mr Carson to come to
What on earth made me think of Mr Carson in the middle of the night?
Are those footsteps? Am I typing too loud?
Now it's voices. Mr Carson. Whispering. "Elsie"? She has a Christian name? "Elsie, love"?
Maybe I should type a little louder. There're things no one need hear.
The lazy brown cow jumped over…
Diary of Lady Sybil Crawley, Aged 17.5
Does a lack of romance make people cross?
Mary is always calm and flirting: Cousin Matthew, Evelyn Napier and that Turk. Edith is always in a state, and always pining for some man, any man.
Mama and Papa are always jolly. I've never seen Carson smile, nor Mrs Hughes. Whenever I ask one about the other they tut as
though I were a child.
This Season I shall charm all the boys. Perhaps I can charm Carson as well. Then I shall suggest he bring something home for Mrs Hughes. It would be such fun to see them both smile!
Thomas's diary (S1)
Old people should not be allowed to have sex. The very thought makes me sick.
If old people have to have sex, they ought not have it in the room next to mine. William sleeps through it, of course. It takes a brain to stay
awake when there's a headboard thumping against your wall.
My god, the old bat never stops talking, does she? Faster. Harder. There, Charles. I probably want her to put it in her mouth more than he does. It'd shut her trap.
Is it any wonder I steal wine? Only way to get a night's sleep.
William's diary
Thank you, Lord, for this day and all its bounty. Bless the kind people in this house, especially Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes. I miss my parents less when they're around. It's nice that you can get to be old and have someone like you as much as they like each other. They make me smile.
Please, Lord, hear my prayers.
I'd like Daisy to like me more than Thomas.
I'd like a day where O'Brien doesn't say something mean.
I'd like a pony.
I'd like Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes to be happy.
I'd really, really like that pony.
Diary of Her Ladyship Cora Crawley
I'm sure my daughters say I'm a silly sentimental fool and my American blood though I've lived in England longer than they have and they're
half-American.
I can't help myself. Being in the same room with Carson and Mrs Hughes when they've been disagreeing makes me smile. It's
adorable how they try to hide their friendship. He looks shoots her glares from under those big bushy eyebrows, and she purses her lips,
letting her accent thicken.
It’s terribly romantic of me to hope that after we've all gone to bed they have their own way of making up the quarrels.
Diary of Elsie Hughes, accidentally forgotten on the staff hall table
I know what people think of me. Torn faced. A bit of a nippy sweetie.
Which of course makes them think I'm secretly wanton and abandoned. No one could go around so dour all the time.
And with whom do they think me wanton? Mr Carson, of course. There's no one else around, is there?
Mr Carson? I never.
He's efficient and professional and a wonder at his work. He's the best friend I'll ever have. But romance? I've never seen him smile. And he's immense; he'd probably snap me in two.
But I'll never let anyone know the truth.
Diary of Elsie Hughes, carefully hidden in a locked drawer in the Pugs' Parlour
I've never heard of servants so prone to gossip as Downton's. Has nobody anything else to do with their time? Bad enough they gossip about the family. But when I caught Thomas trying to "enlighten" poor William about what Charles and I might do after the rest have gone to bed…
I've left Thomas a gift on the table. He'll never respect me enough not to read it.
Misdirection is the least he deserves. We'll have a good laugh about it tonight. I love Charles's laugh as much as I love the feel of him, solid and heavy, above me.
-------------------Possible spoilers-----------------------------------
Diary of Lady Rosamund Painswick (Spoilers for S2E2)
Does no one in my brother's family have eyes in their heads?
Two seconds after Carson collapsed there was Mrs Hughes. Why was she upstairs while dinner was served? I'm certain no one rang for her. My housekeeper would never presume. (Had I a housekeeper. They are so expensive; I hear Robert pays her £65 a year. For telling people what to do! I tell people what to do all the time, and no one pays me £65 a year.)
Matthew had Mrs Hughes show them to Carson's room. Interesting they assumed she knows the way. Interesting she really did.
Ethel's diary (minor, minor spoilers for S2E5)
She says she's never made a mistake like mine. Course not. She's never got the chance, has she?
Poor woman fancies Mr Carson. He's never noticed. If I hadn't caught caught him once watching her hips as she went up the stairs I'd think he was as bad as Sergeant Barrow. I made Major Bryant notice me, didn't I? I should give Mrs Hughes some lessons. Maybe if she fluffed her hair or smiled…
If they're going to do something, they'd better hurry before Carson's equipment rusts. It's not like she's young enough to risk making a mistake like mine.
From the diary of Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham (possible spoilers for the rest of S2)
This new maid has me thinking things I shouldn't.
I've only felt this way once before. I was young, newly married, lustful and would never burden a wife with those desires. No wonder I started eyeing the luscious young head housemaid.
I don’t think I'll ever forget the scolding she gave me when I hinted at an arrangement more domestic than professional. It's lucky she did. Cora would not have understood my having a bit on the side, and I think that even now Carson would soundly thrash me if he thought I'd ever caused his woman a moment's discomfort.