I don't believe that you are wrong. Everytime I pray as she asks or just as I feel it, I ask for peace and no more pain for her. If I could say something...
I've struggled with the the question of, "Do I let them go?" I'm very much on the side of letting them pass on their own with no medical assistance, maybe a painkiller but that's about it. It's a lot harder to keep to that when you have to do it in real life. Just remember that if it wasn't her "time" (whatever that means), she wouldn't be sitting in a hospice without having eaten anything for a week. If she did persue chemo or surgery, do you think she'd bounce back with strength to continue on?
I know it's hard, I know it sounds like you're not fighting, that you're just letting her die. But what's going to be better for her, and ultimately for you?
These are really questions you have to answer for yourself. Sorry DJeebus, all I can do is pray, however effectual that may be.
So much of this - I just feel so much empathy for you, I do, because it is so close to what my experiences with Guy (my grandmother) were. I truly wish I could help in some way.
At that time, someone telling me that I had done the right thing (when I prayed for her to go as easily as possible and hopefully without pain instead of constantly wishing it would get better) helped me immensely, and I hope that the same thing will help you. I don't believe you're wrong to pray for her to let go, dear. This time - as horrible as it is - is a time that every person experiences in one way or another and in our culture, somehow, denial has been promoted as the number one coping mechanism. Which seems kind of ridiculous
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I know it's hard, I know it sounds like you're not fighting, that you're just letting her die. But what's going to be better for her, and ultimately for you?
These are really questions you have to answer for yourself. Sorry DJeebus, all I can do is pray, however effectual that may be.
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And it's not wrong. It's probably easier to want to let go than see her in pain any longer.
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At that time, someone telling me that I had done the right thing (when I prayed for her to go as easily as possible and hopefully without pain instead of constantly wishing it would get better) helped me immensely, and I hope that the same thing will help you. I don't believe you're wrong to pray for her to let go, dear. This time - as horrible as it is - is a time that every person experiences in one way or another and in our culture, somehow, denial has been promoted as the number one coping mechanism. Which seems kind of ridiculous ( ... )
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