cconfessions of lover ch.3
10:12 pm
day 26
26 days ago i left my baby to do what i love mst. But here's the good part. Were doing a show back home. I'm gonna call her tomorrow and let her know we'll be back in belleville in abot 3 days! I know she's got to be bored sitting in OUR house. God I love saying that! I can't wait to tell her! But onto whats been going on. About a week ago me and Gee were at a park somwwhere in Rhode Island and we were sitting underneath this really big tree. We started talking about past relationships and present ones as well.
He asked me exactly why i broke up with Jamia and i told him it was because of Liz. He asked me why I loved her so much and all i could tell him was i don't know. And i really dont. I love everything about her! He asked me if it felt weird dating someone who was younger than me and i said no. I told him age really dont mean anything. Then he goes, "do you miss us?" and i dead stopped what i was doing. I just looked at him. Hell i didn't even think we were together. He said he missed us and wished I'd never gotten with Liz.
He told me he loved me and started crying. I admitt, Gerards the only man i have ever cared for. Hell, what am i saying? I loved Gerard. I still love Gerard!All i could say was i love you too. He gave me these puppy dog eyes and said, "really?" I wasnt gonna lie to him and tell him no b/c that would break his heart. I remember everything that happened after i answered him w/ a yes. Here it goes.
"If you love me Franky, prove it, leave Liz."
I cant do that! I love that girl with every breath i take.
"Gee i do love you but i cant loose Liz, she means everything to me, just like your friendship."
I put my hand on his cheek and it was like he melted in my hand. I felt the tears run down his cheek as I tried to catch them. I pulled him close to me and kissed him. I couldn't help it. I'd wanted to do it since earlier at the show. It was just like old times. The flash of me and Gee kissing and making out in front of an entire stadium full of screaming fans ran through my head. I pulled away and looked at him. His eyes were so glazed with want and need for me. Gerard was the first guy i did ANYTHING with.
I leaned in and started a very deep kiss. We got up grabbing at each others cloths like we were in a race to see who could get who's sirt off first. We landed against the side of the bus and started grinding on each other. It felt like i hadnt fucked in years. My pants got considerably tighter and i didn't know what to do ther than continue what i had done for years. I felt Gerards leg make it's way up to my waist and i knew what was happening.
We're were doing a very bad thing but it felt so good! It was turning us both on and all i did was make it worse...one me. I lowered myself to his neck and started biting him. his moans got louder and all i could do was whimper. He unbuttoned my pants and reached inside my boxers and started jacking me off. All i could do was cower into his neck. I wanted it so bad. All the tension between me and him ended that very moment. I did the same for him. I couldn't do him that way.
About 30 minutes later we were both laying on the grass, out side of the us, looking at the stars. All I could think about was calling Liz and letting her know what i had done. I had to change my pants first, i had cum all over me. I got on the bus and took a shower instead. After I got out I put my pajamas on and crawled into my bunk and closed the curtain. I looked at her number for I know 10 minutes b/4 i hit send. I told Liz EVERYTHING! She just laughed and said okay.
I knew she was understanding but i didn't think she'd understand this. She told me as long as it wasn't another girl she'd be okay. She said she thought it was hot when me and Gee did things together. we had a very long awkward moment of silance and then changed the subject. We talked for about an hour and then got off the phone. And now i lay here wishing she was here with me. So I guess Im gonna call her and then go to bed.
Frank Iero
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4:06 pm
It's been 29 days since I've seen my baby and today the count down stops! He called me 2 days ago and let me know they were on their way home to do a show. Its not gonna be exactly in belleville but it's not far away. He called to let me know to pull into where the bus is gonna be and he'd give me a pass to be with the band the whole time. I'm so siked to see my baby tonight! I was up at 9:00am getting things ready in the house.
Me and his mom went shopping for groceries today so we could cook for him tonight after the show. Linda knows it's gonna be late but she hasn't seen franky in almost 3 months. me and his mom have gotten pretty close. The other day we went to the coffee house in town and had lunch. We had a long talk about our age difference and my commitment to franky. I told her that no matter what, i was always gonna be commited to franky. No matter how long he'd be gone on the road.
I told her that wed been together for a year and 10 months now and i wasn't about to ive up. After lunch I went back to the house, watched some movies, and talked to franky on the phone. He said they were about 20 minutes from the venue and they were gonna get them some food b/4 the show. He told me that more than likely they were gonna go to luigi's for some pie(pizza for you non-italian people). He asked if I wanted to meet him there and i told him no b/c i still had to take my shower, get ready, go get danielle, and show up to the show. He said okay and we hung up. But i need to finish this and hop in the shower so i can get ready. I'll write later.
Liz