(no subject)
So, it's that time again, for campfires and fun in the sun! That's right, summertime! With the freedom that summer brings, also comes great responsibility, for nature is a harsh mistress, that's why I've decided to write up a small guide to:
So, maybe you have a few days off from work, or you have a few months off from school, but either way, you've decided to experience firsthand what the world has to offer! Sadly, you didn't get that chance to go to Vegas with your friends and are instead stuck in some sort of family vacation. Tough luck. Anyways, if you keep the following in mind, your summer can be fun too! Not as fun as winning at the slots and blowing it all on a cheap hooker with so many venereal diseases she wears a bio-hazard suit on street corners, but almost!
Section one: Camping
As far as getting in touch with nature goes, nothing really comes close (except maybe having sex with a tree but I would not recommend this). Nothing is as breathtaking as seeing a sunrise over the Grand Canyon, or other such natural landmark. However, as we all know, camping is wrought with danger. At least one in every three campers is eaten by a bear, even in parks without bears! Bears aren't your only worry, as a lot of plants and fungi in the deeper forests are so poisonous, they will make various appendages fall off just by thinking about them.
But, hey, if you can get past that, the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone are really gorgeous. Arms and legs are highly overrated anyways.
Section two: The beach
The sand, the surf, the bikinis, the beach is probably the single most popular summertime destination. And for good reason (bikinis), the gentle lapping of the ocean is particularly soothing. Of course, as with all good things, there is a small bit of risk involved. Namely, the Creatures of the Deep. As you wade out into the water, you may run across the odd crab, starfish, or even a small fish or two. These, for the most part, are entirely harmless, on their own. However, they tend to attract much larger, more dangerous animals. Sharks, whales, jellyfish, even the dreaded dolphin. Now, I'm sure you can deal with sharks and the jellyfish as dangerous, and the whale to a lesser extent since its so big and may decide to beach itself right on top of your sunbathing spot, but why the lovable dolphin? Two words: tuna fish. Yep, you hang around those lovely dolphins, and they'll lead you right into the nets used by tuna fisherman. Then they'll make that obnoxious dolphin laugh and maybe do a little flip. The sly bastards.
Well, that's all for now, stay tuned for part two, whenever I feel like it!
So, maybe you have a few days off from work, or you have a few months off from school, but either way, you've decided to experience firsthand what the world has to offer! Sadly, you didn't get that chance to go to Vegas with your friends and are instead stuck in some sort of family vacation. Tough luck. Anyways, if you keep the following in mind, your summer can be fun too! Not as fun as winning at the slots and blowing it all on a cheap hooker with so many venereal diseases she wears a bio-hazard suit on street corners, but almost!
Section one: Camping
As far as getting in touch with nature goes, nothing really comes close (except maybe having sex with a tree but I would not recommend this). Nothing is as breathtaking as seeing a sunrise over the Grand Canyon, or other such natural landmark. However, as we all know, camping is wrought with danger. At least one in every three campers is eaten by a bear, even in parks without bears! Bears aren't your only worry, as a lot of plants and fungi in the deeper forests are so poisonous, they will make various appendages fall off just by thinking about them.
But, hey, if you can get past that, the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone are really gorgeous. Arms and legs are highly overrated anyways.
Section two: The beach
The sand, the surf, the bikinis, the beach is probably the single most popular summertime destination. And for good reason (bikinis), the gentle lapping of the ocean is particularly soothing. Of course, as with all good things, there is a small bit of risk involved. Namely, the Creatures of the Deep. As you wade out into the water, you may run across the odd crab, starfish, or even a small fish or two. These, for the most part, are entirely harmless, on their own. However, they tend to attract much larger, more dangerous animals. Sharks, whales, jellyfish, even the dreaded dolphin. Now, I'm sure you can deal with sharks and the jellyfish as dangerous, and the whale to a lesser extent since its so big and may decide to beach itself right on top of your sunbathing spot, but why the lovable dolphin? Two words: tuna fish. Yep, you hang around those lovely dolphins, and they'll lead you right into the nets used by tuna fisherman. Then they'll make that obnoxious dolphin laugh and maybe do a little flip. The sly bastards.
Well, that's all for now, stay tuned for part two, whenever I feel like it!