Meanwhile, back at the ranch......
*click*
"And ye shall be CAST down into the PITS, into the ABYSS, if you don't send me $300 right NOW!"
*click*
"Then, I says to the guy, "WHAM BAM THANK YA MA'M!!" *laugh track* "Then he shot me!" *laugh track* "Then I died!" *laugh track*"
*click*
"Do you ever feel...not quite fr*click*
"Biff Hardbody here with the new AB Terminator, you can get rock hard abs like mine *flex* in only 2 days! It's so simple and easy to use, as my good buddy Norman will demonstrate! *Norman climbs into the contraption, (which looks suspiciously like a medieval instrument of torture) and is strapped in by two buxom women with vacant expressions* "uh...Biff, I'm not too sure abo.." "Nonsense Norm, the Terminator is PERFECTLY safe! Now if Mitsy and Bunny will help me into my protective vest since I can't bend at the waist due to my rippling muscles....there! now we just get behind the blast shield and..." *Biff throws a switch, the lights flicker, Norman screams in agony* "How do you feel? DO YOU FEEL BUFF???" "gu...polloor...sn..he..lp...me.eee"
*click*
"Do you ever fee*click*
Fine, let's see what's happening on the internet! The information SUPERHIGHWAY! Fun and excitement at your fingertips!
*bbbbzzzzzzzzssshhhhhhhttttttttttttt.....bbzzz...bbbbzzz*
Alrighty, let's just check my mail...
"Hello DANIEL, have you ever considered term life insurance? Click here now to get the best rates!
*delete*
"Hello, my name is Wendy, and I think you are just dreammmmmy. Please, fuck me NOW, oh, god. If you want to see me now, and chat live, just click HERE."
*delete*
"Do you ever feel not qui.."
*deletedeletedelete*
Sigh. Maybe I'll just take a nap.