What Are You Afraid Of? 1.2
Title: What Are You Afraid Of?
Fandom: One Piece
Pairing: Zoro/Sanji
Rating: R
Word Count: 8,600
Summary: Sanji is a pirate; Zoro is a pirate hunter, but what should Sanji really be afraid of
[--]
Part One
As promised, Zoro bought him a pack of cigarettes, and another one -probably an apology pack- and Sanji took them gratefully, lighting one after he opened the pack. They walked through the streets in silence, then Sanji threw the cigarette on the ground, crushing it under his shoe. “What are the plans for today?”
“Let’s explore the town. Then we can get dinner. After that we can go out to a bar, then we’ll find a hotel room and we can slip it into each other.”
Sanji fought the urge to tell him not to say such things out loud, in public, where people could hear them. When no one threw them a look, he felt confident again, felt ok since Zoro had the balls to say such vulgar things out loud. “Sounds good to me.”
“I knew you would like the idea.”
“What about the day after?”
“I never plan that far ahead. It’s pointless to do so.”
“Let’s go this way, I thought I saw a book store.” Sanji turned and looked over his shoulder. “You can read, can’t you?”
“I can read better than you can charm the bartender from last night.”
“What did you say asshole?”
“I didn’t say anything. Are you hearing things?”
“Keep it up moss ball and I’ll donate you to the botanical garden we just walked past.”
Zoro threw him the fakest smile he had ever seen and flicked him off. Sanji grinned and dragged him to the bookstore. It was an adult bookstore, but it counted.
[--]
After Sanji had flipped through dirty books and magazines, occasionally showing Zoro positions he wanted to try, Zoro shrugged and looked bored. How he managed to look bored in such a place, Sanji couldn’t begin to understand. They left and Zoro somehow lead them to the countryside of the island, where there tall grass on either side of the gravel dirt road, cattle ignoring them as they walked by.
Sanji was busy kicking some pebbles as he walked. Zoro walked, a strange look on his face as they walked past some farmhouses, a few children playing in the fields, their laughter the only noise around them. Sanji lit a cigarette and asked Zoro a question that had been bothering him since the night before.
Zoro looked at Sanji. He had said something, but he hadn’t caught it the first time around. “What?”
“What are you afraid of?”
Zoro frowned. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Everyone’s afraid of something,” Sanji said, shrugging. “I already told you my fear.”
Zoro seemed to think about it, then he looked down at his boots, then took off walking down the road again. Sanji followed him, and they walked until they reached a wheat field, the fields almost the same shade as Sanji’s blond hair. Zoro stared at his face, and Sanji pushed Zoro’s shoulder, smirking and trying to get a reaction out of him, to try to get him and stop staring like a creep, but Zoro grinned and tackled him.
They rolled in the fields, and Sanji should have been angry, but he wasn’t. When they stopped wrestling, he lay on his back. He could feel the cracks of the earth beneath him, and his back went rigid from lying on the hard ground, the fuzz of the wheat he was haloed in tickled his ears. Zoro was leaning over him, just like he had done the night before at the beach. All he could see was sheets of gold around him, Zoro’s face and the crystal blue sky behind his head.
He looked at Sanji’s face, but he wasn’t meeting his eyes. Zoro leaned in, whispering as if they were hiding from someone. “Before I found that village I told you about, I had lived in a farm, much like the ones we just walked past. One by one, I watched my family die from illness. First my father died, then my younger brother, then my mother. I left the village and I travelled alone.” His pause made Sanji swallow the lump in his throat. “Then I made a friend. She was my best friend.” He paused, then hurriedly he said; “She died.”
Zoro met Sanji’s eyes then. “For a long time I thought I was cursed. I thought death followed me wherever I went. So, I guess, a part of me is scared to be alone, scared that the ones I love will die and leave me alone again.”
Sanji stayed silent, letting it sink in. Giving a moments silence, making sure Zoro was done talking before he spoke. “I’m sorry about your family, and your friend.”
“I got over it.”
“You don’t have to act like a tough guy.”
“You don’t have to act like you know me.”
“I’m trying to be nice,” Sanji said, losing his patience with him.
“Who said you had to be nice to me?”
Sanji pushed him away, shoving Zoro off of him. He jumped to his feet like the ground was on fire and walked off, not caring if he was followed by Zoro or not. “Well fuck you very much,” he snarled.
He continued to walk down the gravel road, even when he heard Zoro calling after him. He only stopped when he felt a hand on his forearm, keeping him there. He stood there, breathing through his nostrils, ready to turn and kick the asshole if needed. Zoro sighed, then silently said, “I’m not good at this.”
“Fuck you.” Sanji turned around, letting his temper get the best of him. “That’s the shittiest excuse ever for acting like an asshole.”
Zoro looked like he had expected his confession to go better than it did. As if Sanji would forgive him then and there for being a mannerless ape. “I’m not an asshole, ok? I just don’t want your pity. I don’t usually open up to people, and I didn’t want you looking at me that way, like I’m weak.”
“Are you so emotionally stunted you can’t talk about the past?” Sanji asked. “Seriously. We all have our shit to deal with, don’t take it out on me.”
“I don’t talk about myself because I’m shy,” he said, looking ticked. “And I don’t feel like burdening people with my problems.”
“I offered to listen, you didn’t have to be an asshole. Just because you’re too afraid to cry or some shit, whatever the fuck your problem is,” Sanji scoffed. “Just say what’s on your mind, it’s not that fucking hard.”
Zoro’s looked like he was really getting pissed. “That’s rich coming from you. I’m not the one that’s too afraid to admit being gay. At least I know who I am and I don’t have to drink until I’m buzzed to be able to go out with a dude.”
“Coming from the guy who was drinking way more than me.”
“I like to drink, and I didn’t have to be buzzed to ask you out or kiss you, did I?”
Sanji’s entire body was shaking from anger. “Well fuck you! I’m not like you. I have a problem with it. Yeah, I may be a closet case, but don’t walk around thinking you’re better than me just because you’re comfortable telling people you fuck around with guys. I’m not. I hate being gay sometimes because some assholes think I rape little church boys and knit dresses in my spare time. They think less of me, like it makes me less of a man. So fuck you, and fuck them.”
“You don’t have to be afraid of those assholes.” Zoro said.
“But I am! Ok?” Sanji snapped. As soon as the words left his lips, he shut his mouth. His jaw went tight from the effort, and for the God knows what time since he met Zoro, he fought the urge to run away. It was a childish instinct, but he hated just how much of himself he had revealed to him since he had met him. He was acting retarded.
Zoro sighed, looking away from him to stare at the sky, running a hair through his hair, looking like he was searching for something to say. He looked at Sanji after some time. “I’ve told others about my friend dying, but you’re the first person I’ve told about my family,” he said. “I never even told her. Back when I first showed up in her village, I had told her I couldn’t remember my family.”
Sanji’s expression fell, his anger leaving him. Zoro leaned in, kissing him softly. When Zoro pulled back; Zoro was looking at Sanji’s lips, not his eyes. For all his bravado, he was fiercely introverted and slightly on the timid side, just like he said a few minutes ago. The realization would have been cuter minutes ago, before their fight.
“You’re like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide,” Sanji chuckled.
“So are you.”
They tumbled back into the fields again.
[--]
For dinner they had noodles and beef at a restaurant hidden in the corner of town. Candles and small dimmed lights hanging from the ceiling lighted up the place. It looked old, at least, older than they were, and the seats looked like it had seen better times, but the food was good, despite the shitty look of the place. The waitresses didn’t appreciate Sanji’s flirting, neither did their father, who was the owner apparently, so Sanji had to shut up real quick, not missing the crude smirk on Zoro’s face at his failings.
They were seated at the very end of the restaurant, facing each other as they ate. Zoro wasn’t much for conversation, so Sanji settled for occasionally insulting him. Zoro only half-heartedly threatened to throw him over a cliff from when Sanji got too irritating. Sanji went quiet again and was slurping on his noodles when Zoro added hot sauce to his meal, then passed the bottle to Sanji without asking.
“No thanks.”
“What? Can’t handle spicy food?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“I will after you quit being a little girl.”
Sanji frowned, taking the hot sauce and adding more to his food than Zoro did. Zoro would have none of it, and added more to his as well, taking an angry bite of his food, aggressively chewing on his meal. Sanji would have laughed if he weren’t doing the exact same thing.
They added more until their food was drowned in red and they couldn’t tell what they were eating anymore. It looked like a terrible battle had happened, and Sanji had seen Chopper repair damages to people’s hurt bodies with less red than he was witnessing on his plate. They ate, despite the fact that their tongues and mouths were burning. Zoro refused to take a gulp of water and so did Sanji.
When they left the restaurant, they both complained that their stomachs were on fire, holding onto their bellies like pregnant women. They threw up in an alley after reaching a stalemate, and they both drank water like men who had emerged from the desert after weeks. Sanji couldn’t believe how stupid he acted when he was around him.
[--]
Zoro knew more drinks than Sanji did, so Sanji let him order for him when they arrived the bar. The bartender was a male, so Sanji didn’t flirt with him, even if he was attractive. The bartender handed them their drinks with a big smile, like he loved watching people getting hammered. Sanji took a sip from his glass of some mixed drink; he honestly didn’t even know what Zoro had ordered him for him. He scrunched his face after he swallowed. “This is strong,” he gasped.
“What? Usually those are pretty light drinks.”
Sanji slid the glass across the table for Zoro to have a try. “Taste it, it’s really strong.” Zoro grabbed the glass then took a drink. He cocked an eyebrow, then took another swallow. He looked at Sanji, biting his lip to contain himself as he slid it across back to him. Sanji frowned. “You don’t taste the alcohol, do you?”
Zoro let his lip go, breaking into a grin. “That’s some good tasting water you have there.”
“Unbelievable. You alcoholic.”
Zoro shrugged. “If you can’t handle it, order something else, I’ll finish it for you.”
He expected Zoro to tease him, but he didn’t. He finished his drink for him as promised, as well as ten more for himself while Sanji sipped on some water while he smoked half a pack. Zoro was surprisingly merciful when it came to Sanji’s ‘weak’ tolerance.
[--]
In the hotel room, Sanji drew a pattern on Zoro’s bare stomach, resting his chin on his hip. The only light was a candle by the window, playing shadows on their skin, flickering and threatening to be extinguished by the crack left open by the window. They were both damp with sweat, both starting to get cold now that their bodies were cooling down.
Zoro was looking sleepy, a content grin on his face, but he stayed awake as Sanji talked to him about Zeff and what he did for him. He wasn’t sure if Zoro was going along and listening to him due to an after effect of his orgasm, or because of the all the alcohol he had drank. Sanji continued to draw designs on his defined stomach either way. “That night, the storm was ugly. I was thrown overboard, and the old man saved me. He jumped in the water after me and saved me from drowning. We were the only survivors that night.”
Zoro nodded, the only sign that he was even listening. “We survived, but we were stranded on this fucking rock, it was in the middle of the goddamn ocean, and we were stranded for months. I still hated him even though he saved me and went to the other end of the stupid rock. Everyday I would sit and wait, trying to see if I could spot anyone that might come looking for us. While I waited, I ran out of food, and I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think, I was starving, and I knew it. Starving was the worst experience of my life,” he whispered. “When I thought I was going to die, I thought I should check on the old man. I found him missing a limb. His fucking leg was gone.”
“What happened?”
“He had fucking cut off his own leg, he had been living off his own flesh for months.”
“Shit.”
Sanji stopped drawing on his stomach, dropping his head on Zoro’s abdominals, face titled at an uncomfortable angle to be able to look at Zoro’s eyes. “He saved my life, and I never thanked him for it until the day I left with my crew. I cried like a pussy that day,” Sanji smiled.
“The day you left with your pirate crew.”
Sanji froze. “Yeah,” he said. “With my pirate crew.”
Zoro laughed. “Like it was hard to figure out. You avoided talking about who you were here with, and once you recognized me, well, that gave you away really. No one looks at me that way unless they’re a pirate.”
Sanji sat up on his elbows, inching higher on the bed to be able to look down at Zoro, lying on top of him. “You’re not mad? I mean, you’re not going to try and turn me in for cash?”
A faint smile played on Zoro’s lips, and his hand went to Sanji’s hair, fingers roughly pushing his bangs aside to show the entirety of his face. “As far as I know, you’re not a pirate. There’s no bounty on you, so I have no reason to hurt you at all. Why would I be mad?”
“Okay.”
“Are you afraid of me?”
“Of course not,” Sanji snorted.
“Good. You shouldn’t be.”
Sanji lazily traced a pattern on his chest this time, right over his heart, feeling the slight thump of his heartbeat under his fingertip, felt the oddly smooth skin of Zoro’s scar running over his chest. At the bar, Sanji had mentioned All Blue, and was surprised that Zoro told him his story about his friend and his desire to be the best swordsman, even told him about his battle with Mihawk. Sanji knew what was happening, knew that it would end with Sanji actually missing the man, though he hated to admit it.
“Look for me one day.”
Zoro raised his eyebrow, giving him an odd look. “Why?”
“Why not?” Sanji asked. “You hunt pirates anyways, right?”
Zoro stayed silent for a moment before he chuckled. “Sure. Once you get a bounty.”
“Oh I’ll get a bounty. I’ll have a huge bounty, and a badass poster too.”
“It’s going to take one skilled photographer to manage to get your effeminate ass to look badass.”
“It’ll be badass, you know why?” He leaned in, closing the gap between them, gritting his teeth. “Because I can kick any marine’s ass.”
“Oh, I believe you. After all, my friend was a girl and she could kick my ass, along with any chump who challenged her.”
“I don’t like what you’re implying.”
Zoro smiled. “Go to sleep.”
Sanji laid his head on Zoro’s shoulder, both lying there, knowing the other wasn’t asleep, but kept quiet anyways. Or tired to. “You never even apologized, you know?”
“What the fuck did I do?”
“You almost drowned me.”
“Oh,” he said. “Right. Sorry.”
“Fuck your fake apology.”
“Whatever. Get off me, I can’t sleep with you nagging in my ear.”
Sanji bit him. The only reaction he got out of him was a rough yank on his hair. Sanji fell asleep minutes later, Zoro’s fingers still running through his hair.
[--]
There was a bang on the door to their room, followed by a round of frantic knocking. Someone was desperate to get their attention. Zoro sat up in bed, beadily blinking before barking back a rude, “What?”
“There are pirates on the island!” a voice yelled behind the door. Sanji recognized the voice of the wife of the innkeeper, sounding frightened and worried to the point of becoming a shrill voice no one wanted to hear at such an ungodly hour. “You’re a pirate hunter! Do something!”
They shared a look, and Sanji wanted to yell. His plans for spending his third day on the island with Zoro were ruined, all because of the skittish locals. Honestly, it wasn’t like anyone in the crew was a violent psychopath or a rabid arsonist. Unless Chopper had a really fucked up secret.
“Some of them are headed to the docks now!” the woman continued to yell. “If you hurry you can catch them!”
At her words, they both looked to the right, where the window was located. “What floor are we on?” Zoro asked above the continuous banging on the door, pleads from the woman to save the island from the terrible pirates plaguing the peaceful island like cockroaches at a picnic, giving them both a headache.
“The seventh.”
“I can land that just fine. What about you wonder brow?”
“Shut your goddamn whore mouth. It’s too early for your shit.”
They got dressed hurriedly, yanking the clothes off the floor, pulling on their pants on in a frenzied daze, both still not fully awake. Sanji thought he might have accidently gotten Zoro’s shirt, looking down at the white shirt he had on that had somehow gotten looser, hanging off his shoulders like a blanket. Yeah, they definitely got the wrong shirt, Zoro looked like he was going to rip his shirt in pieces, the cut for the sleeves digging into his armpits, his shoulders being much broader than Sanji’s. They both looked at each other, but both knew they couldn’t waste time in exchanging shirts.
They ran to the window and jumped out, both landing perfectly below, startling the early risers with their sudden landing. They spared only a moment to catch their breath before they ran towards the dock. Sanji didn’t know why Zoro was following him; maybe he just wanted to look like he was doing his job as a pirate hunter instead of fucking around.
They ran the entire way to the docks, passing many confused locals, some angry vendors and curious children who had gathered to watch them run. Sanji saw the Going Merry, and sure enough, the crew was all on board. When they spotted him they worriedly yelled at him to hurry and get on board before the entire town chased them away. Sanji skidded to a stop in the middle of the dock, then turned and looked at Zoro.
Zoro sucked in a breath, both were panting from running almost fifteen miles. His mouth was open, sucking in breaths through his mouth, and Sanji guessed they both looked like hell. They just had to sleep in the opposite end of town. Sanji looked at him, there were too many things he wanted to say at once, but he couldn’t find a way to say anything.
Before he could think of anything to say, Zoro closed his mouth, set his jaw firm and nodded.
It wasn’t the goodbye Sanji had in mind, but he nodded too, understanding that it was the only goodbye they could share. He turned and took off in a run and leaped off the edge, landing on the ship as it started to sail away from the island.
When Sanji looked back, Zoro was still standing there, looking like a little boy waiting to be told directions; looking uncomfortable in Sanji’s shirt, tight enough to make him look like an overcompensating asshole. Sanji felt bad, he actually felt bad for leaving him that way. He couldn’t leave without saying something. He grabbed the side of the Merry, leaning on it, and yelled at the top of his lungs. “You better try to find me asshole!!!”
For a terrifying moment, Sanji thought Zoro hadn’t heard him because he just stared at him blankly, but then Zoro smirked, holding up his middle finger.
It was the only goodbye they had, but Sanji still broke into a stupid grin, feeling relieved. Luffy looked at Zoro oddly, cocking his head to the side as he studied the man who was flicking them off with a grin on his face. He looked at Sanji when Zoro became a lone figure with an indistinguishable face on the dock. “Who’s that?”
“Some guy,” Sanji muttered.
“Not just some guy; that was the pirate hunter Zoro. What were you thinking?” Nami asked him, looking more short-tempered by the minute, hands on his hips. That look might have looked hot when her anger wasn’t directed at him, but at the moment she just looked terrifying. “Why did you ask him to look for you?”
Sanji didn’t answer, couldn’t find it in him to lie to her. Luffy looked back at the slowly shrinking town, squinted his eyes as if he could still see Zoro. “He looked cool. If he finds us I’m going to ask him to join our crew.”
The crew broke into a fight. Nami yelled at Luffy for being an idiot, Usopp faked a heart attack, and Chopper ran in circles, saying that he didn’t want to die at the hands of a bounty hunter. Sanji smiled to himself, looking at the town, thinking he wouldn’t really mind at all if Luffy convinced the asshole to join.
He was also glad no one asked him about how his white shirt had gotten much larger in the last two days.
[--]
Zoro found him six months later. After he drew his sword on Sanji, the blade an inch from his neck in a dark alley like he was some sort of serial killer, Zoro laughed at how easy he was to catch. The first thing Zoro did after letting him go was hold up Sanji’s wanted poster, a poorly rendered drawing of his face. His nostrils were too big, cheeks too chubby, and his lips were highly exaggerated, giving him the look of a fatter, more beat up version of himself. It was like a before and after ad to keep kids off drugs. Zoro didn’t laugh, only smirked, which in a way made it worst. He also pretended to gasp at the remarkable likeness, saying the artist was truly gifted, capturing the exact details of Sanji’s face.
“Shut the fuck up! It’s not that bad, ok?”
“Please, that pet otter in your crew has a better poster than you.”
After a brutal fight that was broken up by Luffy - who had misunderstood the situation - they had gone back to the rest of the crew. Chopper checked them out after yelling at them for being idiots, and Nami almost had Zoro’s balls for hurting him, and Sanji would have been happy except she had turned her wrath on him as well. Chopper put Zoro’s arm in a cast, and the idiot was grinning when Chopper lifted Sanji’s shirt to reveal terrible bruising. It looked like a bag of ink had exploded inside of him, staining Sanji’s skin around his ribs.
Sanji did laugh when he thought about how fucking ridiculous the whole thing was. It was a romance that was really fucked up, but he was happy. When they were alone in the infirmary, Sanji kissed Zoro, startling him, and he remembered how much he had missed him.
For the past six months, Sanji had been afraid that he wouldn’t be able to see Zoro again.
[--]
END
I can feel myself turning into the next Nicholas Sparks. Or Christopher Rice