That Love You Make
Exactly one year ago today, I spent my most enjoyable and memorable Valentines Day to date. After exchanging gifts, my girlfriend and I went out to dinner at a swanky sushi restaurant in downtown Fort Lauderdale. Afterwards, I suggested we should take a around downtown under the guise of 'walking off dinner' and taking in the gorgeous night.
We approached an intersection, and at one corner stood a horse and carriage. I pointed them out to Kyleigh; she had always loved the idea of a horse and carriage ride, something I had remembered her telling me early on in our relationship. We crossed the street and I tried to act as nonchalant as possible, although my body was flooded with nervous excitement. A week earlier, I had reserved that horse and carriage for this night. And the timing was impeccable: we finished our dinner and had arrived at this corner at exactly the time it was scheduled (the Universe will conspire to work with you if you let it). I'm sure she thought it was odd that I began veering towards the carriage. I approached the carriage driver and, in shaky tones, told her my name and that we were the couple she was waiting for.
It is that look... that mix of bewilderment and astonishment and appreciation and shock and excitement... on her face that I was hoping to see. The mental gymnastics that a person goes thru when they piece together a situation and realize what has happened: the realization I remembered this fantasy of hers, the knowledge that I had arranged it to happen on this night, the love and gratitude she felt because of my thoughtfulness. These are the moments in my life that I live for. I cannot think of a greater joy than that very sentiment reflected back into my eyes.
And so, on this Valentines Day, I have a secret for those of you who might feel slighted, unappreciated, unloved, or just generally apathetic. If you feel that your life is lacking in love, here is what you should do:
Give it away.
And of course, it doesn't have to happen on this day. But instead of cursing the huge capitalist marketing machine that has made this day what it represents now, use it to get love by giving it away. It can be anything from shining a brighter smile to an acquaintance to sending a personal email to a friend or family member expressing your gratitude for having him or her in your life. Watch Amelie and learn (or remember) how making the effort to brighten others' lives can have a positive, reciprocal impact on your own. Follow the example that people like ilyafe set by simply being a kind, benevolent soul (click here to read what it did for her). Be the Source of this Love that you feel you lack. Do these things for long enough and a magical thing happens. There is a certain point (one which varies by person) that one realizes: You are loved; in fact, you've always had this love you thought you lacked. Why?
Because you cannot give away that which you do not have.
It is impossible. This benevolence and charity that you have passed on to another sprung from you. And although I'm sure there are still skeptics out there, I can assure you of this: it will come back to you ten-fold, hundred-fold, million-fold. But you have to pay attention. It does not always return in a form or fashion you would think or expect. Love is energy, and the very basic scientific tenet "energy is never created nor destroyed; it just changes form" applies here as well. It may be reciprocated back to you in a way you would least expect, but it will. I'm not a huge Beatles fan, but there is a very appropriate lyric to sum this up:
"In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
Namaste.
We approached an intersection, and at one corner stood a horse and carriage. I pointed them out to Kyleigh; she had always loved the idea of a horse and carriage ride, something I had remembered her telling me early on in our relationship. We crossed the street and I tried to act as nonchalant as possible, although my body was flooded with nervous excitement. A week earlier, I had reserved that horse and carriage for this night. And the timing was impeccable: we finished our dinner and had arrived at this corner at exactly the time it was scheduled (the Universe will conspire to work with you if you let it). I'm sure she thought it was odd that I began veering towards the carriage. I approached the carriage driver and, in shaky tones, told her my name and that we were the couple she was waiting for.
It is that look... that mix of bewilderment and astonishment and appreciation and shock and excitement... on her face that I was hoping to see. The mental gymnastics that a person goes thru when they piece together a situation and realize what has happened: the realization I remembered this fantasy of hers, the knowledge that I had arranged it to happen on this night, the love and gratitude she felt because of my thoughtfulness. These are the moments in my life that I live for. I cannot think of a greater joy than that very sentiment reflected back into my eyes.
And so, on this Valentines Day, I have a secret for those of you who might feel slighted, unappreciated, unloved, or just generally apathetic. If you feel that your life is lacking in love, here is what you should do:
Give it away.
And of course, it doesn't have to happen on this day. But instead of cursing the huge capitalist marketing machine that has made this day what it represents now, use it to get love by giving it away. It can be anything from shining a brighter smile to an acquaintance to sending a personal email to a friend or family member expressing your gratitude for having him or her in your life. Watch Amelie and learn (or remember) how making the effort to brighten others' lives can have a positive, reciprocal impact on your own. Follow the example that people like ilyafe set by simply being a kind, benevolent soul (click here to read what it did for her). Be the Source of this Love that you feel you lack. Do these things for long enough and a magical thing happens. There is a certain point (one which varies by person) that one realizes: You are loved; in fact, you've always had this love you thought you lacked. Why?
Because you cannot give away that which you do not have.
It is impossible. This benevolence and charity that you have passed on to another sprung from you. And although I'm sure there are still skeptics out there, I can assure you of this: it will come back to you ten-fold, hundred-fold, million-fold. But you have to pay attention. It does not always return in a form or fashion you would think or expect. Love is energy, and the very basic scientific tenet "energy is never created nor destroyed; it just changes form" applies here as well. It may be reciprocated back to you in a way you would least expect, but it will. I'm not a huge Beatles fan, but there is a very appropriate lyric to sum this up:
"In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
Namaste.