(no subject)
Ok. Finally posting this. Hope someone enjoys, I guess. I'll probably spend the rest of the night reading and nursing my burgeoning headache so don't expect any repeats of anything like this post with the writing or the one last night with all the icons anytime in the near future. Sleepy. Anyway, I made those changes, si_ta, thank you for being a sounding board/beta.
If anyone else sees any glaring errors they are mine and mine alone. Wah. There was other stuff I wished to post...but I don't remember. radcowgirled I'm glad you liked those icons :) did you ever decide what icons you wanted for helping me with my Edward Scissorhands quest?
Anyway. Before I become even more obnoxiously random, the fic:
Title: Great Disaster
Author: freaky_zero (a.k.a. Batling)
Pairing: lightly implied HP/SS
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: J.K.R.'s. Not mine.
A/N: Well, let's see. This is semi-inspired by The Hollow Men which I read two days ago... It was kind of subconcious I guess, the inspiration I mean. Anyway, I think it's kind of fun, and I hope you all enjoy it. It's a little bit Harry-centric until around the end and it's just a little different, as I usually write in Snape's p.o.v. but...I'm rambling. Enjoy!
Summary: Harry dreams of a happier place.
He didn’t quite know when the dreams had started, he only knew he didn’t want them to end. As dreams went, they weren’t the happiest dreams in the world, but they weren’t nightmares, either. For once in Harry’s life, something was pleasant. Something was neutral. And Harry enjoyed it for all he was worth.
The dream always began the same, with Harry slowly walking down a dark corridor, doors to the left and right of him as far as the eye could see. During the first few dreams, Harry had been too wary to dare open any of the closed portals, but it barely took a week before he grew tired of wandering in an endless hall until dawn.
The first dream in which Harry’s Gryffindor curiosity got the best of him; he simply opened the door closest to him when he opened his eyes in the dark hallway once more. Whatever he’d been expecting, it was nothing like the scene before him. In the room before him, he and Ron were locked in a passionate embrace on a plush couch. Blushing, Harry had quickly shut the door and moved onto the door opposite it.
Unfortunately, it was much the same scene but with Malfoy instead of Ron. Harry pulled that door shut just as quickly and moved down the hall, face flushed red. Harry had known he was homosexual for a few months now, but had never imagined either of those two boys in that way before. It was a rather large shock to his system.
Quickly however he was up to opening another door. This time, he found a city scene behind the door and he had tentatively stepped in to explore. Over the weeks he found many places quite like this, and when he entered them, he found… Well, he found himself. In many different lives. He’d even spoken to himself once or twice, and learned about the world he found himself in.
It seemed no matter what, however, no matter which door he opened, that he was never happy. Barring the first two doors that is, but then, he was never quite brave enough to venture into them again. Once he found himself living on the streets, and another time in an orphanage --which in his mind was really worse than the streets-- and once, he even found himself in the clutches of the Dursleys without Hogwarts to escape to.
After an indeterminable amount of dreams, he found himself at the door he had yet to move past. When he opened up this door, he found a country house, and himself, sleeping under a tree. A questioning of his other self seemed to return the conclusion that he was happy in this place, in this life.
His parents were still alive, and while he was occasionally lonely from being the only one his age in the country but he had friends that he saw during the school year and he knew that he was loved. He loved his life here even if he thought that it was terribly boring from time to time.
The Harry here was older than he was and he seemed to age slightly each time that Harry saw him. He wasn't even remotely british, speaking with a soft accent that bordered Southern American. This Harry was carefree, he was a klutz because he didn't have to premeditate every step, every thought, motion, sound that he made, for fear that someone else close to him would die.
And their desires were totally opposite each others. While all Harry wanted was peace and quiet, and a home to return to, this Harry wanted adventure and a grand passion and if he managed to see the world, then perhaps he would come back home and settle down with his one true love...
Each time that Harry came back to this place he would talk to dream Harry, and he was somewhat amazed to find that the other Harry considered this dream, Harry's dream, his own. He was somewhat amused that this other boy considered him a figment of his imagination. He told dream Harry about his world and asked questions about this happy world in return and, oh, how Harry laughed when the other Harry told him that magic wasn't real.
Harry wondered if there truly wasn't any magic in this world and leaned against the tree he had first found Harry under, contemplating how horrid that might make the overall condition of things in this dimension. Harry didn't try to delude himself into thinking that this place was actually nothing more than a dream, he knew it truly existed, they had gone over this in Divination a year ago with Firenze.
Perhaps that's what made it all the more enjoyable, knowing that in someplace and sometime he was happy. Even if a little adventure crazy. Maybe that's why he didn't think of his dreams as happy, they were enjoyable to be sure, this other Harry was smart, and funny and even understood him even though he had never experienced anything in Harry's life. But still these dreams reminded him of what he did not have. Evidently, the other Harry agreed.
"You're so lucky..."
Harry looked over at him with a raised brow. "Why do you think that?"
The other boy huffed lightly. "Your the savior of your world, you've survived death, you've got people falling all over your feet, what a great life, it's a grand adventure!"
Harry leaned his head back and thought of the losses he and so many others had suffered at the hands of Voldemort and because of the war. With a sigh he shook his head, knowing that this Harry might always understand why he felt how he felt and why he did certain things, but would never understand exactly *how* he felt until he lost someone close to him.
Turning his head, he looked into his own eyes and said, "It's more like a great disaster."
The other Harry shook his head and stood up, dusting off his jeans as he went. "I don't think so, Harry. And even if it is...that's what I want. A great disaster. Anything would be better than this place."
Taking a step away from the tree trunk he had been leaning against, the other Harry tripped over a particularly large root and rolled a little ways down the the incline the two boys were on. Even against his melancholy thoughts, Harry
couldn't hide a grin.
"Why would you want a disaster? You *are* one!"
Time passed, and the war was being fought feircely for a few months before tapering off again to nothing more large scale than a few random death eater attacks. The Boy-Who-Lived prevailed again. During these months, however, Harry rarely had time or energy to dream normal dreams, much less explore other realms and so he never saw the happy Harry, as he had come to refer to him in his head, although the thought of the other boy kept him moving forward in hope.
Finally, however, after the fighting had died down once more, Harry again found himself in the hallway. And for the first time in a very long time, Harry smiled. Taking his time, he made his way back to the door. Pushing it open, he was surprised to find two shapes underneath the tree curled against one another, one asleep and the other writing in a book on his lap. The figure writing looked up and smiled.
"Harry! You've grown since I've seen you last."
Harry smiled and looked down at himself a little wistfully. He knew he hadn't grown but he was told that he looked alot older than he should, that his eyes reflect the weariness his soul felt. He looked back up.
"You're one to talk," he teased, looking at an at least ten year older version of himself. He moved a bit closer to the other Harry. "And who is this that you've got -- oh." Severus Snape lay next to the other boy, just stirring to wakefulness. He cast a sharp glance at the other Harry who smiled softly at him.
"Harry, meet Severus. My great disaster."
Harry blinked and took a step back before smiling in return, a soft stirring coming to life in his heart. He looked at the other Harry. A great disaster, eh? Maybe Harry, too, needed a great disaster in his life. Except he'd had enough with disasters. What Harry wanted was a great love. And someone to return it. His smile grew a bit wider. Maybe happiness wasn't always something that was inherent. Maybe it was also something that was made.
Harry turned back towards the door he had come through before pausing and taking a last look at the scene he was leaving behind him. He would be living it soon enough, he had a feeling. He gave the other Harry one last look and a small wave.
"I won't be back."
If anyone else sees any glaring errors they are mine and mine alone. Wah. There was other stuff I wished to post...but I don't remember. radcowgirled I'm glad you liked those icons :) did you ever decide what icons you wanted for helping me with my Edward Scissorhands quest?
Anyway. Before I become even more obnoxiously random, the fic:
Title: Great Disaster
Author: freaky_zero (a.k.a. Batling)
Pairing: lightly implied HP/SS
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: J.K.R.'s. Not mine.
A/N: Well, let's see. This is semi-inspired by The Hollow Men which I read two days ago... It was kind of subconcious I guess, the inspiration I mean. Anyway, I think it's kind of fun, and I hope you all enjoy it. It's a little bit Harry-centric until around the end and it's just a little different, as I usually write in Snape's p.o.v. but...I'm rambling. Enjoy!
Summary: Harry dreams of a happier place.
He didn’t quite know when the dreams had started, he only knew he didn’t want them to end. As dreams went, they weren’t the happiest dreams in the world, but they weren’t nightmares, either. For once in Harry’s life, something was pleasant. Something was neutral. And Harry enjoyed it for all he was worth.
The dream always began the same, with Harry slowly walking down a dark corridor, doors to the left and right of him as far as the eye could see. During the first few dreams, Harry had been too wary to dare open any of the closed portals, but it barely took a week before he grew tired of wandering in an endless hall until dawn.
The first dream in which Harry’s Gryffindor curiosity got the best of him; he simply opened the door closest to him when he opened his eyes in the dark hallway once more. Whatever he’d been expecting, it was nothing like the scene before him. In the room before him, he and Ron were locked in a passionate embrace on a plush couch. Blushing, Harry had quickly shut the door and moved onto the door opposite it.
Unfortunately, it was much the same scene but with Malfoy instead of Ron. Harry pulled that door shut just as quickly and moved down the hall, face flushed red. Harry had known he was homosexual for a few months now, but had never imagined either of those two boys in that way before. It was a rather large shock to his system.
Quickly however he was up to opening another door. This time, he found a city scene behind the door and he had tentatively stepped in to explore. Over the weeks he found many places quite like this, and when he entered them, he found… Well, he found himself. In many different lives. He’d even spoken to himself once or twice, and learned about the world he found himself in.
It seemed no matter what, however, no matter which door he opened, that he was never happy. Barring the first two doors that is, but then, he was never quite brave enough to venture into them again. Once he found himself living on the streets, and another time in an orphanage --which in his mind was really worse than the streets-- and once, he even found himself in the clutches of the Dursleys without Hogwarts to escape to.
After an indeterminable amount of dreams, he found himself at the door he had yet to move past. When he opened up this door, he found a country house, and himself, sleeping under a tree. A questioning of his other self seemed to return the conclusion that he was happy in this place, in this life.
His parents were still alive, and while he was occasionally lonely from being the only one his age in the country but he had friends that he saw during the school year and he knew that he was loved. He loved his life here even if he thought that it was terribly boring from time to time.
The Harry here was older than he was and he seemed to age slightly each time that Harry saw him. He wasn't even remotely british, speaking with a soft accent that bordered Southern American. This Harry was carefree, he was a klutz because he didn't have to premeditate every step, every thought, motion, sound that he made, for fear that someone else close to him would die.
And their desires were totally opposite each others. While all Harry wanted was peace and quiet, and a home to return to, this Harry wanted adventure and a grand passion and if he managed to see the world, then perhaps he would come back home and settle down with his one true love...
Each time that Harry came back to this place he would talk to dream Harry, and he was somewhat amazed to find that the other Harry considered this dream, Harry's dream, his own. He was somewhat amused that this other boy considered him a figment of his imagination. He told dream Harry about his world and asked questions about this happy world in return and, oh, how Harry laughed when the other Harry told him that magic wasn't real.
Harry wondered if there truly wasn't any magic in this world and leaned against the tree he had first found Harry under, contemplating how horrid that might make the overall condition of things in this dimension. Harry didn't try to delude himself into thinking that this place was actually nothing more than a dream, he knew it truly existed, they had gone over this in Divination a year ago with Firenze.
Perhaps that's what made it all the more enjoyable, knowing that in someplace and sometime he was happy. Even if a little adventure crazy. Maybe that's why he didn't think of his dreams as happy, they were enjoyable to be sure, this other Harry was smart, and funny and even understood him even though he had never experienced anything in Harry's life. But still these dreams reminded him of what he did not have. Evidently, the other Harry agreed.
"You're so lucky..."
Harry looked over at him with a raised brow. "Why do you think that?"
The other boy huffed lightly. "Your the savior of your world, you've survived death, you've got people falling all over your feet, what a great life, it's a grand adventure!"
Harry leaned his head back and thought of the losses he and so many others had suffered at the hands of Voldemort and because of the war. With a sigh he shook his head, knowing that this Harry might always understand why he felt how he felt and why he did certain things, but would never understand exactly *how* he felt until he lost someone close to him.
Turning his head, he looked into his own eyes and said, "It's more like a great disaster."
The other Harry shook his head and stood up, dusting off his jeans as he went. "I don't think so, Harry. And even if it is...that's what I want. A great disaster. Anything would be better than this place."
Taking a step away from the tree trunk he had been leaning against, the other Harry tripped over a particularly large root and rolled a little ways down the the incline the two boys were on. Even against his melancholy thoughts, Harry
couldn't hide a grin.
"Why would you want a disaster? You *are* one!"
Time passed, and the war was being fought feircely for a few months before tapering off again to nothing more large scale than a few random death eater attacks. The Boy-Who-Lived prevailed again. During these months, however, Harry rarely had time or energy to dream normal dreams, much less explore other realms and so he never saw the happy Harry, as he had come to refer to him in his head, although the thought of the other boy kept him moving forward in hope.
Finally, however, after the fighting had died down once more, Harry again found himself in the hallway. And for the first time in a very long time, Harry smiled. Taking his time, he made his way back to the door. Pushing it open, he was surprised to find two shapes underneath the tree curled against one another, one asleep and the other writing in a book on his lap. The figure writing looked up and smiled.
"Harry! You've grown since I've seen you last."
Harry smiled and looked down at himself a little wistfully. He knew he hadn't grown but he was told that he looked alot older than he should, that his eyes reflect the weariness his soul felt. He looked back up.
"You're one to talk," he teased, looking at an at least ten year older version of himself. He moved a bit closer to the other Harry. "And who is this that you've got -- oh." Severus Snape lay next to the other boy, just stirring to wakefulness. He cast a sharp glance at the other Harry who smiled softly at him.
"Harry, meet Severus. My great disaster."
Harry blinked and took a step back before smiling in return, a soft stirring coming to life in his heart. He looked at the other Harry. A great disaster, eh? Maybe Harry, too, needed a great disaster in his life. Except he'd had enough with disasters. What Harry wanted was a great love. And someone to return it. His smile grew a bit wider. Maybe happiness wasn't always something that was inherent. Maybe it was also something that was made.
Harry turned back towards the door he had come through before pausing and taking a last look at the scene he was leaving behind him. He would be living it soon enough, he had a feeling. He gave the other Harry one last look and a small wave.
"I won't be back."