Angst. Life sucks.
Frealaf: *knocks lightly on Firiel's door* Firi? You in there?
Firiel: *opens the door* Hi.
Frealaf: Hi. *smiles*
Firiel: *opens it further* Do you want to come in?
Frealaf: *nods* That would probably be best. I need to talk to you about something and the whole Quarters doesn't need to know about it just yet.
Firiel: *nods* Of course. *closes the door behind him, sits on the edge of the bed*
Frealaf: *looks at her for a minute* You ok?
Firiel: *nods* I'm fine. Kind of tired, but fine.
Frealaf: Alright. *sighs* I'm afraid I don't have very good news. Léan's back.
Firiel: *nod* I know... I met her yesterday...
Frealaf: Dammit. I was hoping I could warn you first.
Firiel: *sighs* It wasn't the best of meetings. I need to tell you something, though...
Frealaf: She didn't do something to you, did she?
Firiel: No, it's about after...
Frealaf: Ok. What about after?
Firiel: *sighs* ...I was talking to Gorlim... and he asked me to marry him... I agreed.
Frealaf: You what?
Firiel: I agreed to marry him. But I've been thinking about this since I spoke to him. There were many things that lead to that decision.
Frealaf: *folds arms* Such as?
Firiel: I was feeling overwhelmed with everything... your family, Lean... And when he suggested that I should marry him, he added that we'd help each other with the children... it seemed like a safe option... It was something tangible. I knew it would work if I'd wanted it to...
Firiel: But then I talked more with him today, and realized it was just that. A safe option in case anything did happen.
Frealaf: And you think something will happen with me. You think it won't work.
Firiel: *softly* I want it to work, Frey. I love you. But I was scared things wouldn't work out because your wife was back... what she'd said...
Firiel: I shouldn't have doubted anything, but I couldn't help it at the time...
Frealaf: And what makes this so different from when Arvedui came back? Or did you have doubts then too and didn't tell me?
Firiel: I knew how to handle him... I knew he would let me go if I'd talked to him... *bites her lip* But I didn't know what to do with Lean... I still don't.
Frealaf: She's my problem, Firiel. I let you deal with Arvedui, didn't I?
Firiel: *looks down at her hands in her lap* I'm sorry, Frey.
Frealaf: *nods* Of course.
Firiel: *swallows, looking anywhere but at him* I'm sorry. I know what I did was not right. I know I betrayed you. I'd understand if you won't forgive me....
Frealaf: No, it wasn't right. Not only did you accept another man's proposal - and a man who should know better at that - while my ring was on your finger, but you did it for reasons that you should have come to me to talk about. But you didn't. You went to Gorlim, like you always do.
Firiel: ..... *Blinks back her tears. They're not coming this time. She should be stronger than that* I'm sorry that bothers you... What would you have had me do when I couldn't find you?
Frealaf: Did you even bother looking? I'm not hard to find.
Firiel: *frowns* Somehow, when I need you, you're impossible to find.
Frealaf: Then maybe you should marry him. Since he's always magically there whenever you need him. Not to mention his mother isn't around to not like you and his wife will only kill herself.
Firiel: *long silence, then quietly* I'm sorry, Frealaf. *holds her head in her hands* I'm sorry for everything.
Frealaf: I know you are, but I can't just brush this aside. You got scared. I can understand that. Your reaction to that fear scares me, though. This isn’t anything we haven't been through before, yet you readily accept another man's offer. Granted, now that you've thought about it, you decided that was wrong. But what about when things get harder? What then? Or what if next time you don't get a chance to think it through?
Firiel: I won't make the same mistakes again, Frey. I just... I'm not going to do again what I have done in the recent past. Ever. *frowns* Whether I am with you or not...
Frealaf: And had someone told you last week you'd do what you did, you'd have been horrified and told them you'd never do such a thing. But you did.
Firiel: People learn from their mistakes. I'm trying.
Frealaf: *nods* I came here to warn you that Lean was back, and to tell you to pay her no mind. I also wanted to pick our wedding date, soon. But now...you've lost a lot of trust, Firiel.
Firiel: *closes her eyes, nods* I know...
Frealaf: *sighs, runs a hand through his hair* I need to...go.
Firiel: *nods as a tear slips, frowning*
Frealaf: I'll come by in a few hours...or tomorrow...and we can talk some more.
Firiel: *softly* ......what more is there to talk about...?
Frealaf: Whether or not we're still getting married.
Firiel: *fingers the ring, still speaking quietly* ...do you want this until then?
Frealaf: No.
Frealaf: Keep it. Doesn't seem to make a difference anyway.
Firiel: *squeezes her eyes shut, takes a deep breath* If we are uncertain about getting married, I have no right to keep this.
Frealaf: I have no other use for it.
Firiel: Keep it until a later date, then.
Frealaf: Fine. *holds out his hand*
Firiel: *sets the ring in his hand*
Frealaf: *looks down at it for a few seconds, then closes his fist around it* Goodnight, Firiel.
Firiel: *softly* Good night, Frealaf...
Frealaf: *leaves, closing the door firmly behind him*
*Heads to the nearest tavern*