Things I write when I'm high.
I took a vicodin and decided to write a fanfiction. It's the best thing I've ever written. Ever.
Placido was pissed off. No. Pissed off didn't even begin to describe what the android was feeling at that moment. He was livid. Yes, Placido was livid. Why, do you ask? Well, after a valiant fight against the heroes of the past, (and his eventual betrayal of his best friend forever Z-one,) he was expecting to just go to heaven and have a super cool hot tub party and drink fancy beverages with little umbrellas in them whilst 72 virgins massaged his shoulders and various other aching muscles. But noooooooooo, that wasn't the case. Placido arrived at heaven only to realize, low and behold, his fusion into Aporia didn't stick because Aporia was a buttcrack and fused his soul to Yusei's d-wheel. So, Placido, Lucciano, and fat man Jose were three separate bodies again and boy was that a pile of bullshit waiting to happen.
So yes, it was safe to say that Placido was not happy about having to spend the rest of eternity on a cloud with an old man and a brat. The first thing that Jose did when they arrived in heaven was take all the 72 virgins and run off to get his beard brushed. Of course Placido pitched a fit about that.
“Those were my hot virgins!” He called out in anger.
Lucciano just burst out laughing in his disgusting little cackle that he always seemed to have. Placido could not believe he used to act like THAT.
The two remaining opera singers decided to walk around and scope out the place. They wanted to see if they were going to have to sleep on a stinky fart cloud or if they would actually have a place to stay. Seriously, where were all the angels and shit to be their welcoming committee and direct them to the nearest cumulus crapper. (Lucciano didn't go to the little robots room before he got blown to bits.)
AND THEN they found fucking Paradox. Yes. FUCKING Paradox, sitting there, at a big round table. His legs were crossed, a cigarette was hanging out of his mouth as he read a book entitled, “Paracelsus and you, how to be a demented occultist.” He was apparently into the whole Renaissance thing, judging by his fancy monocle and the pretentious teacup steaming on the table. Not to sugar coat the situation, but Placido flipped a literal table when he saw this. He flipped that table all over Paradox.
“What the fuck?!” Dox screamed, now coated in a thick layer of milk tea, his books ruined for all of time.
“I'll be the one to ask questions around here!” Placido yelled back, pointing accusingly at Paradox. What in god's name was Paradox doing there?! He was supposed to be on a god damn mission destroying all of duel monsters. So Placido did what any rational, sane, open-minded robot would do. He started screaming and throwing a temper tantrum. “You idiot, why are you dead?! You failure! You hobo! I knew you couldn't do anything right ever!”
“You're dead too, you know.” Lucciano decided to point out with a laugh. So then Placido started strangling Lucciano.
Everyone screamed at each other and starting punching each other in the face for a few minutes before they were interrupted by a certain big butted, blunette by the name of Antimony. He was singing in an obnoxiously loud, offpitch voice that rivaled that voice that Jack used when he wanted something but could not get it.
“Yesterday was thursday! Today it is friday!”
Placido stopped him dead in his tracks and gripped his shoulders tight. “What the hell are you singing?! Today isn't even friday. It's wednesday you retard!”
After a moment, Antimoany realized that he was being spoken to, so he clicked a button on his visor to turn off the music that was blaring loudly in his ears. “Huh?” He looked at Placido dumbly.
“F-fuck. I don't even know. You're retarded.” So Placido stormed off to go and scream at some airplanes about how emotional he was. Lucciano followed after him to kree like a vulture and laugh at the stick that was so far up Placido's ass that god himself probably wouldn't be able to fish it out.
So while Placido was off shitting out an angel baton, Paradox and Anatamoany unflipped the table and sat down to have cloud crumpets and be fancy bastards. They discussed in a scholarly manner topics such as children's card games and how much of a boner they all had for Yusei.
Suddenly without any warning, Doctor Fudo sprinted by the table like a kangaroo with a jetpack made of sparkles. His wind knocked down the table yet again and threw the crumpets everywhere. He for some reason had a big pile of what appeared to be men's slacks in his arms. He was followed closely by two burly german men, who also were piling pants in their huge, beefy arms.
“The hell?” Paradox wondered as his monocle cracked at the sheer force of awesome flying by them. He pouted, but it was okay because he has a spare in the pocket of his snuggie.
Without warning, Z-one burst into the clearing. He was naked. It was a little weird, seeing as half of his body was made of metal, but his penis was still a regular penis. It was okay though because 4kids censored that part with a cloud placed peculiarly in front of his dick at any given time. It was very hard to animate and cost them 4 million dollars to do those edits, so they eventually became broke but that doesn't really matter since it has nothing to do with the story.
Alimony and Paradox both got massive nosebleeds all over themselves and it was totally embarrassing. Z-one didn't notice however because he was too busy being naked and worrying about himself and his own problems to worry about the problems of his friends. That's just the awesome kind of leader he was.
“Has anyone seen my pants?!” he exclaimed, grabbing Antoine and shaking him violently. Paradox managed to split the two of them up despite the fit of laughter he was put into from the site of Z-one's old man cock.
Anniemoans was about to answer but Placido came back with Lucciano and Jose. He had a stack of sexy doujins under his arms that were all Kingcrab shipping because that was his OTP. He breezed right past Z-one and Johnny to hold up a particularly raunchy page to Paradox.
“I want to try this, go get your Jack wig,” he demanded to Paradox. It was a little known fact that much like Z-one, the rest of the robot crew were also incredibly talented and sexy cosplayers. So naturally they had a ton of sex in their cosplays because that's what you do when you're famous on the internet. So Placido grabbed hold of one of Paradox's long braids and yanked him down the cloud lane so that they could go put on their pretty girl makeup before they had sex. “Come on Rapunzel, I need your help to make sure I put my marker on the right side.”
“It goes on the right!” Z-one called out, knowing from years of experience and failed makeup mornings which side Yusei's marker was on. He of course was wrong, but that's what he gets for taking shitty cellphone pictures of his refpics.
AND THEN THERE WAS A RAINBOW. But not just any rainbow, a double rainbow. All the way across the sky. YEAH. So Jose and Lucciano jumped on either rainbow to race down the rainbow bridge on their respective wheelchair and skates.
Asstree by now was passed out on the cloud from losing all his blood out of his nose. There was so much blood that all of heaven was progressively becoming more and more red until finally everything was stained red forever. Later it all turned brown so the clouds all looked like poop, but that isn't relevant either.
Then Yusei Go, Yusei's D-wheel, raced down the poopcloud and stopped in front of Z-one. It was the dead spirit of Aporia who was now a motorcycle forever. Z-one was cool with that because he liked riding motorcycles and he liked riding Aporia so it was his two favorite activities all wrapped into one.
Sitting on the seat of the d-wheel was a fresh pair of pants. Aporia had gotten them for Z-one. The half robot, half scientist, half cosplayer put on the pants and sparkles shot out of his hair at how hot he looked in them. The day was saved by Yusei Go and everything was right in heaven.
Somewhere across the way, Papa, Rex and Rudger were building a giant indian teepee made out of pants they pilfered and they all sat inside and smoked hookah. It was awesome.
The end.
Placido was pissed off. No. Pissed off didn't even begin to describe what the android was feeling at that moment. He was livid. Yes, Placido was livid. Why, do you ask? Well, after a valiant fight against the heroes of the past, (and his eventual betrayal of his best friend forever Z-one,) he was expecting to just go to heaven and have a super cool hot tub party and drink fancy beverages with little umbrellas in them whilst 72 virgins massaged his shoulders and various other aching muscles. But noooooooooo, that wasn't the case. Placido arrived at heaven only to realize, low and behold, his fusion into Aporia didn't stick because Aporia was a buttcrack and fused his soul to Yusei's d-wheel. So, Placido, Lucciano, and fat man Jose were three separate bodies again and boy was that a pile of bullshit waiting to happen.
So yes, it was safe to say that Placido was not happy about having to spend the rest of eternity on a cloud with an old man and a brat. The first thing that Jose did when they arrived in heaven was take all the 72 virgins and run off to get his beard brushed. Of course Placido pitched a fit about that.
“Those were my hot virgins!” He called out in anger.
Lucciano just burst out laughing in his disgusting little cackle that he always seemed to have. Placido could not believe he used to act like THAT.
The two remaining opera singers decided to walk around and scope out the place. They wanted to see if they were going to have to sleep on a stinky fart cloud or if they would actually have a place to stay. Seriously, where were all the angels and shit to be their welcoming committee and direct them to the nearest cumulus crapper. (Lucciano didn't go to the little robots room before he got blown to bits.)
AND THEN they found fucking Paradox. Yes. FUCKING Paradox, sitting there, at a big round table. His legs were crossed, a cigarette was hanging out of his mouth as he read a book entitled, “Paracelsus and you, how to be a demented occultist.” He was apparently into the whole Renaissance thing, judging by his fancy monocle and the pretentious teacup steaming on the table. Not to sugar coat the situation, but Placido flipped a literal table when he saw this. He flipped that table all over Paradox.
“What the fuck?!” Dox screamed, now coated in a thick layer of milk tea, his books ruined for all of time.
“I'll be the one to ask questions around here!” Placido yelled back, pointing accusingly at Paradox. What in god's name was Paradox doing there?! He was supposed to be on a god damn mission destroying all of duel monsters. So Placido did what any rational, sane, open-minded robot would do. He started screaming and throwing a temper tantrum. “You idiot, why are you dead?! You failure! You hobo! I knew you couldn't do anything right ever!”
“You're dead too, you know.” Lucciano decided to point out with a laugh. So then Placido started strangling Lucciano.
Everyone screamed at each other and starting punching each other in the face for a few minutes before they were interrupted by a certain big butted, blunette by the name of Antimony. He was singing in an obnoxiously loud, offpitch voice that rivaled that voice that Jack used when he wanted something but could not get it.
“Yesterday was thursday! Today it is friday!”
Placido stopped him dead in his tracks and gripped his shoulders tight. “What the hell are you singing?! Today isn't even friday. It's wednesday you retard!”
After a moment, Antimoany realized that he was being spoken to, so he clicked a button on his visor to turn off the music that was blaring loudly in his ears. “Huh?” He looked at Placido dumbly.
“F-fuck. I don't even know. You're retarded.” So Placido stormed off to go and scream at some airplanes about how emotional he was. Lucciano followed after him to kree like a vulture and laugh at the stick that was so far up Placido's ass that god himself probably wouldn't be able to fish it out.
So while Placido was off shitting out an angel baton, Paradox and Anatamoany unflipped the table and sat down to have cloud crumpets and be fancy bastards. They discussed in a scholarly manner topics such as children's card games and how much of a boner they all had for Yusei.
Suddenly without any warning, Doctor Fudo sprinted by the table like a kangaroo with a jetpack made of sparkles. His wind knocked down the table yet again and threw the crumpets everywhere. He for some reason had a big pile of what appeared to be men's slacks in his arms. He was followed closely by two burly german men, who also were piling pants in their huge, beefy arms.
“The hell?” Paradox wondered as his monocle cracked at the sheer force of awesome flying by them. He pouted, but it was okay because he has a spare in the pocket of his snuggie.
Without warning, Z-one burst into the clearing. He was naked. It was a little weird, seeing as half of his body was made of metal, but his penis was still a regular penis. It was okay though because 4kids censored that part with a cloud placed peculiarly in front of his dick at any given time. It was very hard to animate and cost them 4 million dollars to do those edits, so they eventually became broke but that doesn't really matter since it has nothing to do with the story.
Alimony and Paradox both got massive nosebleeds all over themselves and it was totally embarrassing. Z-one didn't notice however because he was too busy being naked and worrying about himself and his own problems to worry about the problems of his friends. That's just the awesome kind of leader he was.
“Has anyone seen my pants?!” he exclaimed, grabbing Antoine and shaking him violently. Paradox managed to split the two of them up despite the fit of laughter he was put into from the site of Z-one's old man cock.
Anniemoans was about to answer but Placido came back with Lucciano and Jose. He had a stack of sexy doujins under his arms that were all Kingcrab shipping because that was his OTP. He breezed right past Z-one and Johnny to hold up a particularly raunchy page to Paradox.
“I want to try this, go get your Jack wig,” he demanded to Paradox. It was a little known fact that much like Z-one, the rest of the robot crew were also incredibly talented and sexy cosplayers. So naturally they had a ton of sex in their cosplays because that's what you do when you're famous on the internet. So Placido grabbed hold of one of Paradox's long braids and yanked him down the cloud lane so that they could go put on their pretty girl makeup before they had sex. “Come on Rapunzel, I need your help to make sure I put my marker on the right side.”
“It goes on the right!” Z-one called out, knowing from years of experience and failed makeup mornings which side Yusei's marker was on. He of course was wrong, but that's what he gets for taking shitty cellphone pictures of his refpics.
AND THEN THERE WAS A RAINBOW. But not just any rainbow, a double rainbow. All the way across the sky. YEAH. So Jose and Lucciano jumped on either rainbow to race down the rainbow bridge on their respective wheelchair and skates.
Asstree by now was passed out on the cloud from losing all his blood out of his nose. There was so much blood that all of heaven was progressively becoming more and more red until finally everything was stained red forever. Later it all turned brown so the clouds all looked like poop, but that isn't relevant either.
Then Yusei Go, Yusei's D-wheel, raced down the poopcloud and stopped in front of Z-one. It was the dead spirit of Aporia who was now a motorcycle forever. Z-one was cool with that because he liked riding motorcycles and he liked riding Aporia so it was his two favorite activities all wrapped into one.
Sitting on the seat of the d-wheel was a fresh pair of pants. Aporia had gotten them for Z-one. The half robot, half scientist, half cosplayer put on the pants and sparkles shot out of his hair at how hot he looked in them. The day was saved by Yusei Go and everything was right in heaven.
Somewhere across the way, Papa, Rex and Rudger were building a giant indian teepee made out of pants they pilfered and they all sat inside and smoked hookah. It was awesome.
The end.