Extra Scene - Yes Sir (That's My Baby) - A far future look into the HS!AU
Title: Yes Sir (That's My Baby)
Pairing/Characters: Primarily Freddy/Davey and their son, Scott, with cameos by everyone.
Rating: PG only for mentions of sexytimes. The rest is so G it hurts.
Notes: In the future, Freddy and Davey do, in fact, get married (shocker! No one would have guessed from the name of this community) and adopt two kids. This is when they only have their first son, Scott. There is no excuse for this besides that I was up late at night and desperate for the happiest, fluffiest thing I could think of and, well, this is what happened.
I apologize for anyone who reads this and goes into a diabetic coma.
Especially since they got Scott, Davey almost never tours. He never used to be fond of it, because he couldn't bear to be separated from Freddy for more than a week. Unfortunately, there are certain things Davey simply cannot get away with avoiding when he puts out a new record, and touring is one of them. Davey argues for a month, using every gun he's got stored behind his back, from "I have a two year old son" to "my dog will miss me too much" to "I will miss my dog too much". He even tries "I have a co-dependent husband" and finally "I am a reclusive genius and please leave me the fuck alone". He doesn't, of course, swear, because he never swears even when he's as ticked off with his publicity people as he is right then, and especially not since Scott has entered what Joey had long ago fondly dubbed "the parrot phase".
"NO TOUR NO TOUR NO TOUR!!" Scott has started screaming every time he doesn't want to do anything, including wearing pants.
"No tour," Freddy agrees patiently, "but Grandma wants you to wear pants when we visit. Can we put on pants?"
"NO TOUR," Scott screams, and then, after a few moments of agonized toddler thought, "NO TOURS IN PANTS, DADDY."
"Save me," Freddy begs over to the phone to Davey, before he can even start complaining about how much he hates Raleigh or Denver or wherever the fuck he is that is not home helping Freddy with their son who is a newly-discovered nudist. Freddy would be a hypocrite for not supporting that form of self-expression, except for the fact that it's February and if Scott's not crying because he doesn't want to put on pants, he's crying because his legs are cold.
"There are three flights from Phoenix to Chicago leaving this morning," Davey says hopefully. Ah, right, Phoenix. That's where Davey is. "I could come home. Is it a state of emergency?"
"No," Freddy says, sadly, stroking Scott's golden curls while he snores like a car missing it's muffler in Freddy's lap, his tiny legs dangling on the couch and covered in one very helpful, very warm dog. "Just the regular toddler thing."
"Bother," Davey says, which is such a cute, non-swearing sort of Davey thing that Freddy would probably have a raging hard-on if he wasn't dissuaded by a fat toddler on his junk. As it is, he just misses Davey so much he hurts.
"I miss you so much," Freddy says miserably. "I hate freezer food. I am even tired of spraying fake cheese in my mouth."
"Please tell me you didn't spray any in Scott's mouth," Davey says tiredly.
"....no," Freddy lies. Scott is very insistent, and apparently he is equally as not fond of Frozen Papa Lunches.
"See, this is a state of emergency," Davey says. "You are spraying fake cheese everywhere."
"Oh god," Freddy moans. "That sounds so amazingly provocative and wrong when you say that and I haven't gotten you-know-what-ed in six weeks."
"Four days," Davey says. "Four days and I'll be home."
"Make four days happen faster," Freddy begs. "Invent a time machine."
"Working on it in between sets," Davey assures him. "That, and perfecting my evil laugh for when I use it to take over the world."
So Freddy is pretty fucking excited when four days pass and he's in the terminal waiting for Davey's flight and Scott is clean and fed at grandma's so there's actual food in his stomach and, most importantly, he is wearing pants. ("Pants for Papa!" Scott had sung tunelessly all morning. "Papa pants! PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PAAAAAAAANTS.")
"Look," Freddy says, pointing when he finally spots a very distinct, very wilted-looking shock of brown hair. "look, Papa!"
"PAPA!" Scott screams in Freddy's ear, momentarily deafening him. "PAPAAAAA. PAPA PAPA PAPA." Across the terminal, Freddy can see Davey perk up and spot them, his entire face splitting into a grin that is so blindingly handsome that Freddy is momentarily dumbfounded. Scott uses this to his advantage, squirming out of Freddy's grip and tearing across the crowd of people, screaming "PAPA PAPA PAPA I AM WEARING PANTS, PAPAAAAAAAA" and then howling with his dirty old man laughter when Davey picks him up and starts covering his face in kisses as he walks towards Freddy.
"Hi," Freddy says, giving Davey a stupid little wave. "Somebody missed you."
"I missed him too," Davey sighs, burying his face in Scott's curls and inhaling. "Mmmm, gravy. Did we have dinner with grandma?"
"GRANDMA DINNER," Scott informs him proudly, forgetting everything that he has ever learned about inside voices in his excitement. "DINNER WITH GRANDMA AND DADDY AND UNCLE JOEY AND AUNT BETSY AND HELEN AND LUCY AND MITZI."
"Did you wear pants for Grandma?" Davey asks him. "Were you a big boy?"
"WORE BIG BOY PANTS FOR PAPA," Scott says proudly. "JUST LIKE DADDY AND UNCLE JOEY. AUNT BETSY WORE A KIRT."
"Skirt," Freddy corrects him gently. "A skirt Scotty. And can you tell Papa why you learned she wears skirts?"
"SHE'S A LADY PERSON," Scott says proudly.
"Such a smart boy," Davey says, kissing Scott's ear. "Now can I say hi to Daddy?"
"KISSING TIME!" Scott says proudly, squirming down and clapping. "KISS DADDIES, KISSES!"
"You heard the man," Freddy says, grabbing Davey.
"Mm," Davey agrees, his hand coming up to hold Freddy's face while he kisses him, lush and slow and like a movie star while Scott shrieks happily like he was raised by wolves at their feet.
"I am putting a mute button on that child," Freddy mutters into Davey's mouth, unable to pull away far enough to actually make the words not mushy and indistinct.
"Good idea," Davey says, kissing him again. "Mmmmmm." They manage to get away with kissing for a whole minute before Scott starts tugging at their pants for attention.
"Missed you so much," Freddy murmurs.
"Missed you too, baby," Davey says softly, but not so softly Scott can't hear them.
"DADDY IS NOT A BABY," he says angrily, his face turning to the stormy expression he always gets when something isn't quite right. "PAPA, DADDY IS A DADDY."
"Yes," Davey says, leaning down and picking Scott up again, "Daddy is a Daddy. That's just something I call him. You aren't really made of honey, are you? But Daddy and I call you that, too"
"'KAY," Scott says, after thinking a few moments, and then "DON'T WANT TO WEAR PANTS NO MORE."
- - -
Scott decides that pants are once again cool when Davey by time they get home and sticks with his decision, which Davey is extremely grateful for, since getting Freddy to wear pants is already a huge challenge.
"It was all your fault," he tells Freddy that night, after they are very, very naked. They've had sex twice, which is way too many times that night for men who have a child and dog snoring in the next room. After that, they've somehow managed to have the requisite what-you've-missed-in-developmental-milestones talk, and Davey really, really wishes he was young enough to have sex with Freddy a third time. "You can't tell Scott he has to wear pants if you never wear pants. Even toddlers understand hypocrisy."
"I'm always too hot," Freddy complains. "It's not my fault he isn't."
"You are very hot," Davey agrees, making some shameless, uncoordinated groping motions at Freddy's ass. "But you don't have to take that so literally."
"Mmm," Freddy says, nipping lazily at Davey's ear. "But now you're home, and he wore pants all night, and so the next phase is all your fault."
"I can deal with that," Davey says, before deciding that this discussion is over because dammit, he will have sex a third time that night if it kills him, which it very nearly does. Once you reach a certain age, Davey discovers, there are some things that they should never attempt before consulting a doctor.
And, as it turns out, Freddy's right. The next phase is completely Davey's fault. He had no idea how many times he'd started calling Freddy "baby" or "babe" (as in "Babe, we've got a poopie in the pants situation again" or "Baby, I love you, but I'm home now and we're throwing out the cheese whiz."), but now Scott has decided to take offense to every single one of those situations.
"DADDY NOT A BABY," he says firmly to Davey one morning while all four of them are playing Exercise-In-The-Snow, which is really just Freddy and Davey standing and holding hands tiredly while Scott and Mitzi run in circles shrieking and barking in the back yard at what Freddy has privately deemed 'ass-o-clock' before going inside to make caffeine.
"I'm very sorry," Davey says, before turning to Freddy and going "Thank you for the hot tea, Frederick."
"You're very welcome, David," Freddy says, loping an arm around Davey's neck before whispering, "See? Your fault."
And yes, it is Davey's fault, but that doesn't mean that it's gotten sort of out of hand when Scott starts yelling at Betsy, too. Her cardinal sin had been to turn to Freddy and go, "Oh, don't be such a baby," when Freddy had whined about burning his tongue on the cookies Betsy and the kids had made, and Scott had thrown a temper tantrum. To be fair, he was already cranky from napping poorly earlier that afternoon, but he starts shrieking, banging his spoon everywhere and going "NOT A BABY NOT A BABY NOT A BABY!", before dissolving into helpless tears. Davey has never been more grateful for Joey and Betsy getting a head start on the procreation process then when they don't even blink when Freddy has to take a shrieking Scott and put him down for an early evening nap.
"What'd you do this time?" Joey asks, snagging a cookie and putting it in his mouth before spitting it out and choking "Jesus, they are hot."
"It's his new thing," Davey sighs. "He gave up the no pants thing, and now he hates the word 'baby' when not properly applied."
"Helen did that too," Joey says thoughtfully, chewing. "It's a maturity thing, I think."
"I thought it was a Scott thing," Davey says, breaking open a cookie and letting it steam before taking a bite. "It's his anal retention again, which came out of nowhere, let me tell you."
"Yeah, because Helen takes so strongly after Betsy and I," Joey snorts, taking another cookie and breaking it open this time.
"Betsy and me," Betsy corrects, coming in the dining room and brushing an absent kiss on Joey's head. "I know it sounds wrong, but it's the way it is."
"Sorry," Joey grumbles, "Didn't realize I was back in English class."
"Helen started correcting Lucy last month when her teacher taught her the rule" Betsy says, sitting down next to Joey and sticking her feet in his lap to be rubbed. "Now I can't stop myself."
"It's not just a phase?" Davey says hopefully. "This always having to be right?"
"Probably not," Betsy says bluntly, taking off her apron, which is splattered with the fruits of two enthusiastic toddlers and Lucy (who was less than meticulous) baking something sticky. Helen had rolled her eyes at intelligently and gone to the living room to go read a chapter book, which Joey had bragged about for at least fifteen minutes straight. "It wasn't with Helen, and she's ten. He's always been like this."
"Who's always been like what?" Freddy asks, coming back in the room. "Susie went down with Scott, by the way."
"Your son, being anal, and thanks," Betsy says.
"That one's all Davey's fault," Freddy says enthusiastically.
"Excuse you, I am not anal," Davey says indignantly.
"The man has a point," Joey says. "He's managed to fuck Scott up in a lot of ways, but that's not one of them."
"Not you too," Davey groans.
"The boy snores like a drunk bear," Joey says. "You just try and tell me that's not your fault."
"It isn't," Davey insists. "I asked the doctor. He says it'll fix itself when his nose grows. Apparently it's common for little kids when their noses are all squooshed up and still tiny."
"Well it's not my fault, finally," Freddy says gleefully, "so I think it's great."
"Ah yes," Joey says nostalgically, "I remember that feeling so very, very well."
- - -
Freddy's righteousness dies at 4:21 pm the next Sunday when they're driving to do food shopping. Scott has been strangely, suspiciously, well-behaved since he woke up from his nap, talking only in an inside voice, telling Freddy he had to go potty (before making a rather splendid mess in his pants, but he and Davey both praise Scott lavishly for attempting to warn them), and gotten dressed in matching clothing without making a fuss. Which is why Freddy nearly has a heart attack when he goes to change to change from the Cole Porter songbook (because clearly, it's Chet Baker time) and Scott screams.
"What's wrong, buddy?" he asks, turning around to look at their glowering son, who is straining unhappily in his car seat.
"NO CHANGE MUSIC," Scott bellows.
"No Chet Baker?" Freddy asks sadly.
"NO CHANGE MUSIC."
"What about Raffi?" Davey asks, because Davey is evil, and Freddy would rather jump into oncoming traffic than listen to Banana Phone one more time. Scott tilts his head and considers the offer before frowning.
"NO," he says.
"Fine," Freddy grumbles, going to skip Let's Misbehave because clearly that is not a lesson their son needs re-enforced right now.
"NO CHANGE MUSIC," Scott screams. "NO DADDY NO. NO CHANGE MUSIC."
"What?" Freddy hisses at Davey, who instead of supporting him, is bent over laughing silently, shoulders shaking.
"Your fault," Davey manages, smothering his laughter. "All your fault, babe."
"Shut up," Freddy says, reaching across to pinch Davey's thigh as Scott kicks the back of his seat, singing along, only replacing all the words with off-key, warbling no's.
"I'm just saying," Davey says, regaining his composure. "It feels nice to have the cosmic balance restored."
"NOOOOOO!!" Scott yells happily. "NONONO NOOOOOO!!!!"
(on reverse side in Davey's handwriting) Scott giving his bunny kisses "just like Daddies", age 2
Yes Sir, That's My Baby! - Lee Morse
Pairing/Characters: Primarily Freddy/Davey and their son, Scott, with cameos by everyone.
Rating: PG only for mentions of sexytimes. The rest is so G it hurts.
Notes: In the future, Freddy and Davey do, in fact, get married (shocker! No one would have guessed from the name of this community) and adopt two kids. This is when they only have their first son, Scott. There is no excuse for this besides that I was up late at night and desperate for the happiest, fluffiest thing I could think of and, well, this is what happened.
I apologize for anyone who reads this and goes into a diabetic coma.
Especially since they got Scott, Davey almost never tours. He never used to be fond of it, because he couldn't bear to be separated from Freddy for more than a week. Unfortunately, there are certain things Davey simply cannot get away with avoiding when he puts out a new record, and touring is one of them. Davey argues for a month, using every gun he's got stored behind his back, from "I have a two year old son" to "my dog will miss me too much" to "I will miss my dog too much". He even tries "I have a co-dependent husband" and finally "I am a reclusive genius and please leave me the fuck alone". He doesn't, of course, swear, because he never swears even when he's as ticked off with his publicity people as he is right then, and especially not since Scott has entered what Joey had long ago fondly dubbed "the parrot phase".
"NO TOUR NO TOUR NO TOUR!!" Scott has started screaming every time he doesn't want to do anything, including wearing pants.
"No tour," Freddy agrees patiently, "but Grandma wants you to wear pants when we visit. Can we put on pants?"
"NO TOUR," Scott screams, and then, after a few moments of agonized toddler thought, "NO TOURS IN PANTS, DADDY."
"Save me," Freddy begs over to the phone to Davey, before he can even start complaining about how much he hates Raleigh or Denver or wherever the fuck he is that is not home helping Freddy with their son who is a newly-discovered nudist. Freddy would be a hypocrite for not supporting that form of self-expression, except for the fact that it's February and if Scott's not crying because he doesn't want to put on pants, he's crying because his legs are cold.
"There are three flights from Phoenix to Chicago leaving this morning," Davey says hopefully. Ah, right, Phoenix. That's where Davey is. "I could come home. Is it a state of emergency?"
"No," Freddy says, sadly, stroking Scott's golden curls while he snores like a car missing it's muffler in Freddy's lap, his tiny legs dangling on the couch and covered in one very helpful, very warm dog. "Just the regular toddler thing."
"Bother," Davey says, which is such a cute, non-swearing sort of Davey thing that Freddy would probably have a raging hard-on if he wasn't dissuaded by a fat toddler on his junk. As it is, he just misses Davey so much he hurts.
"I miss you so much," Freddy says miserably. "I hate freezer food. I am even tired of spraying fake cheese in my mouth."
"Please tell me you didn't spray any in Scott's mouth," Davey says tiredly.
"....no," Freddy lies. Scott is very insistent, and apparently he is equally as not fond of Frozen Papa Lunches.
"See, this is a state of emergency," Davey says. "You are spraying fake cheese everywhere."
"Oh god," Freddy moans. "That sounds so amazingly provocative and wrong when you say that and I haven't gotten you-know-what-ed in six weeks."
"Four days," Davey says. "Four days and I'll be home."
"Make four days happen faster," Freddy begs. "Invent a time machine."
"Working on it in between sets," Davey assures him. "That, and perfecting my evil laugh for when I use it to take over the world."
So Freddy is pretty fucking excited when four days pass and he's in the terminal waiting for Davey's flight and Scott is clean and fed at grandma's so there's actual food in his stomach and, most importantly, he is wearing pants. ("Pants for Papa!" Scott had sung tunelessly all morning. "Papa pants! PANTS PANTS PANTS PANTS PAAAAAAAANTS.")
"Look," Freddy says, pointing when he finally spots a very distinct, very wilted-looking shock of brown hair. "look, Papa!"
"PAPA!" Scott screams in Freddy's ear, momentarily deafening him. "PAPAAAAA. PAPA PAPA PAPA." Across the terminal, Freddy can see Davey perk up and spot them, his entire face splitting into a grin that is so blindingly handsome that Freddy is momentarily dumbfounded. Scott uses this to his advantage, squirming out of Freddy's grip and tearing across the crowd of people, screaming "PAPA PAPA PAPA I AM WEARING PANTS, PAPAAAAAAAA" and then howling with his dirty old man laughter when Davey picks him up and starts covering his face in kisses as he walks towards Freddy.
"Hi," Freddy says, giving Davey a stupid little wave. "Somebody missed you."
"I missed him too," Davey sighs, burying his face in Scott's curls and inhaling. "Mmmm, gravy. Did we have dinner with grandma?"
"GRANDMA DINNER," Scott informs him proudly, forgetting everything that he has ever learned about inside voices in his excitement. "DINNER WITH GRANDMA AND DADDY AND UNCLE JOEY AND AUNT BETSY AND HELEN AND LUCY AND MITZI."
"Did you wear pants for Grandma?" Davey asks him. "Were you a big boy?"
"WORE BIG BOY PANTS FOR PAPA," Scott says proudly. "JUST LIKE DADDY AND UNCLE JOEY. AUNT BETSY WORE A KIRT."
"Skirt," Freddy corrects him gently. "A skirt Scotty. And can you tell Papa why you learned she wears skirts?"
"SHE'S A LADY PERSON," Scott says proudly.
"Such a smart boy," Davey says, kissing Scott's ear. "Now can I say hi to Daddy?"
"KISSING TIME!" Scott says proudly, squirming down and clapping. "KISS DADDIES, KISSES!"
"You heard the man," Freddy says, grabbing Davey.
"Mm," Davey agrees, his hand coming up to hold Freddy's face while he kisses him, lush and slow and like a movie star while Scott shrieks happily like he was raised by wolves at their feet.
"I am putting a mute button on that child," Freddy mutters into Davey's mouth, unable to pull away far enough to actually make the words not mushy and indistinct.
"Good idea," Davey says, kissing him again. "Mmmmmm." They manage to get away with kissing for a whole minute before Scott starts tugging at their pants for attention.
"Missed you so much," Freddy murmurs.
"Missed you too, baby," Davey says softly, but not so softly Scott can't hear them.
"DADDY IS NOT A BABY," he says angrily, his face turning to the stormy expression he always gets when something isn't quite right. "PAPA, DADDY IS A DADDY."
"Yes," Davey says, leaning down and picking Scott up again, "Daddy is a Daddy. That's just something I call him. You aren't really made of honey, are you? But Daddy and I call you that, too"
"'KAY," Scott says, after thinking a few moments, and then "DON'T WANT TO WEAR PANTS NO MORE."
- - -
Scott decides that pants are once again cool when Davey by time they get home and sticks with his decision, which Davey is extremely grateful for, since getting Freddy to wear pants is already a huge challenge.
"It was all your fault," he tells Freddy that night, after they are very, very naked. They've had sex twice, which is way too many times that night for men who have a child and dog snoring in the next room. After that, they've somehow managed to have the requisite what-you've-missed-in-developmental-milestones talk, and Davey really, really wishes he was young enough to have sex with Freddy a third time. "You can't tell Scott he has to wear pants if you never wear pants. Even toddlers understand hypocrisy."
"I'm always too hot," Freddy complains. "It's not my fault he isn't."
"You are very hot," Davey agrees, making some shameless, uncoordinated groping motions at Freddy's ass. "But you don't have to take that so literally."
"Mmm," Freddy says, nipping lazily at Davey's ear. "But now you're home, and he wore pants all night, and so the next phase is all your fault."
"I can deal with that," Davey says, before deciding that this discussion is over because dammit, he will have sex a third time that night if it kills him, which it very nearly does. Once you reach a certain age, Davey discovers, there are some things that they should never attempt before consulting a doctor.
And, as it turns out, Freddy's right. The next phase is completely Davey's fault. He had no idea how many times he'd started calling Freddy "baby" or "babe" (as in "Babe, we've got a poopie in the pants situation again" or "Baby, I love you, but I'm home now and we're throwing out the cheese whiz."), but now Scott has decided to take offense to every single one of those situations.
"DADDY NOT A BABY," he says firmly to Davey one morning while all four of them are playing Exercise-In-The-Snow, which is really just Freddy and Davey standing and holding hands tiredly while Scott and Mitzi run in circles shrieking and barking in the back yard at what Freddy has privately deemed 'ass-o-clock' before going inside to make caffeine.
"I'm very sorry," Davey says, before turning to Freddy and going "Thank you for the hot tea, Frederick."
"You're very welcome, David," Freddy says, loping an arm around Davey's neck before whispering, "See? Your fault."
And yes, it is Davey's fault, but that doesn't mean that it's gotten sort of out of hand when Scott starts yelling at Betsy, too. Her cardinal sin had been to turn to Freddy and go, "Oh, don't be such a baby," when Freddy had whined about burning his tongue on the cookies Betsy and the kids had made, and Scott had thrown a temper tantrum. To be fair, he was already cranky from napping poorly earlier that afternoon, but he starts shrieking, banging his spoon everywhere and going "NOT A BABY NOT A BABY NOT A BABY!", before dissolving into helpless tears. Davey has never been more grateful for Joey and Betsy getting a head start on the procreation process then when they don't even blink when Freddy has to take a shrieking Scott and put him down for an early evening nap.
"What'd you do this time?" Joey asks, snagging a cookie and putting it in his mouth before spitting it out and choking "Jesus, they are hot."
"It's his new thing," Davey sighs. "He gave up the no pants thing, and now he hates the word 'baby' when not properly applied."
"Helen did that too," Joey says thoughtfully, chewing. "It's a maturity thing, I think."
"I thought it was a Scott thing," Davey says, breaking open a cookie and letting it steam before taking a bite. "It's his anal retention again, which came out of nowhere, let me tell you."
"Yeah, because Helen takes so strongly after Betsy and I," Joey snorts, taking another cookie and breaking it open this time.
"Betsy and me," Betsy corrects, coming in the dining room and brushing an absent kiss on Joey's head. "I know it sounds wrong, but it's the way it is."
"Sorry," Joey grumbles, "Didn't realize I was back in English class."
"Helen started correcting Lucy last month when her teacher taught her the rule" Betsy says, sitting down next to Joey and sticking her feet in his lap to be rubbed. "Now I can't stop myself."
"It's not just a phase?" Davey says hopefully. "This always having to be right?"
"Probably not," Betsy says bluntly, taking off her apron, which is splattered with the fruits of two enthusiastic toddlers and Lucy (who was less than meticulous) baking something sticky. Helen had rolled her eyes at intelligently and gone to the living room to go read a chapter book, which Joey had bragged about for at least fifteen minutes straight. "It wasn't with Helen, and she's ten. He's always been like this."
"Who's always been like what?" Freddy asks, coming back in the room. "Susie went down with Scott, by the way."
"Your son, being anal, and thanks," Betsy says.
"That one's all Davey's fault," Freddy says enthusiastically.
"Excuse you, I am not anal," Davey says indignantly.
"The man has a point," Joey says. "He's managed to fuck Scott up in a lot of ways, but that's not one of them."
"Not you too," Davey groans.
"The boy snores like a drunk bear," Joey says. "You just try and tell me that's not your fault."
"It isn't," Davey insists. "I asked the doctor. He says it'll fix itself when his nose grows. Apparently it's common for little kids when their noses are all squooshed up and still tiny."
"Well it's not my fault, finally," Freddy says gleefully, "so I think it's great."
"Ah yes," Joey says nostalgically, "I remember that feeling so very, very well."
- - -
Freddy's righteousness dies at 4:21 pm the next Sunday when they're driving to do food shopping. Scott has been strangely, suspiciously, well-behaved since he woke up from his nap, talking only in an inside voice, telling Freddy he had to go potty (before making a rather splendid mess in his pants, but he and Davey both praise Scott lavishly for attempting to warn them), and gotten dressed in matching clothing without making a fuss. Which is why Freddy nearly has a heart attack when he goes to change to change from the Cole Porter songbook (because clearly, it's Chet Baker time) and Scott screams.
"What's wrong, buddy?" he asks, turning around to look at their glowering son, who is straining unhappily in his car seat.
"NO CHANGE MUSIC," Scott bellows.
"No Chet Baker?" Freddy asks sadly.
"NO CHANGE MUSIC."
"What about Raffi?" Davey asks, because Davey is evil, and Freddy would rather jump into oncoming traffic than listen to Banana Phone one more time. Scott tilts his head and considers the offer before frowning.
"NO," he says.
"Fine," Freddy grumbles, going to skip Let's Misbehave because clearly that is not a lesson their son needs re-enforced right now.
"NO CHANGE MUSIC," Scott screams. "NO DADDY NO. NO CHANGE MUSIC."
"What?" Freddy hisses at Davey, who instead of supporting him, is bent over laughing silently, shoulders shaking.
"Your fault," Davey manages, smothering his laughter. "All your fault, babe."
"Shut up," Freddy says, reaching across to pinch Davey's thigh as Scott kicks the back of his seat, singing along, only replacing all the words with off-key, warbling no's.
"I'm just saying," Davey says, regaining his composure. "It feels nice to have the cosmic balance restored."
"NOOOOOO!!" Scott yells happily. "NONONO NOOOOOO!!!!"
(on reverse side in Davey's handwriting) Scott giving his bunny kisses "just like Daddies", age 2
Yes Sir, That's My Baby! - Lee Morse