The Hannah Files: 2
So we meet again after all.
Yeah, I've been kind of busy, you know the Christmas thing and all that. Buying presents for friends and stuff.
It was pretty good, I got some Grey Goose. Everybody pitched in and bought me a bottle of it. I haven't even had any of it yet. I kinda feel bad about drinking it, you know? Everyone scrounged up money to buy it for me and I feel guilty about drinking it because then it won't be around anymore. Kinda dumb eh?
I've always been like that though. I remember my Mom buying me this fancy lollipop with a dinosaur on it and I never ate it. I'd always rather have something than eat it because if I eat it, I forget about it. To me that sort of takes the meaning out of it all.
Stuff. Why do you keep asking me about that? I told you it's a touchy subject. They're dead and that's it. Fuck what are you a cop? Am I being fucking interrogated?
Well you know what curiosity did?
Exactly. So stop asking about it okay? I'll tell you when I feel comfortable about it. For all I know you're a cop and wearing a wire and plan on putting me away in a super max prison.
Yeah well I don't know that. And you saying so means jack shit. I'm not stupid. Just because you say you're not a cop doesn't mean you aren't. I can say I have a giant black cock and it doesn't make it true. And don't give me that bullshit where if you ask an undercover cop if they're a cop they have to say so because that's fuck. Let the dumbass little potheads believe that and get their asses busted, I know better.
Because I've been in trouble with the police, genius. I mean I was a runaway and a thief, of course I've been in trouble with the cops.
I'd rather steal than starve. I mean if you were homeless and you discovered you were pretty fucking good at picking pockets and hiding shit from stores, wouldn't you do the same thing? Besides, homeless shelter food is fucking terrible. I've moved on to bigger and better things now.
Rape, murder, arson and rape. Jesus Christ, dude. It's nice to know you at least pretend to be interested but try not being so nosy.
Yeah, I know I brought it up but still!
I know.
Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just a nasty habit. I need to think about what I say before I say it, I've always had that problem. That and a big mouth.
I clean houses.
Yeah, sorta like that.
Yeah, it pays great. I love it. It's like the second job I've had.
Waitress.
Yeah it sucked big time. I got fired on my first day because one of the customers was a fucking prick. He ordered some expensive soup, I can't remember what it was so I told the cooks, brought it to him and he goes and tells me that I'm stupid and incompetent because I brought him the wrong soup when I wrote down exactly what he said. So I said something like 'Go fuck yourself, you worthless cock-sucker' and flipped the bowl over onto his lap.
Yeah, it was great. He got third degree burns on his dick. They had to do skin grafts and shit so it was totally worth it. I think the restaurant got sued over it too. The only bad part about the whole thing is it meant I wouldn't be working with Jen-Jen anymore.
She's a friend of mine. We kinda, sorta, a little dated for a tiny, itty bit. It didn't last though, it never does. But we're still really good friends. I met her and was like, 'I gotta hang out with her.'
The first day we were talking like we'd always known each other, she told me about how she fucked with the asshole customers and stuff. It was great.
When I got fired she took the rest of the day off and we just hung out for the rest of the day which was kinda weird since we'd just met but still, she seemed cool.
We just walked around town all day and had dinner at Denny's and stuff. She even let me stay with her for a while in her apartment when she found out I didn't really have a place to live.
Yeah, she's a sweetheart. She's kind of weird but I like that.
It's not that bad. I mean, sure it sucks but it's not as bad as you'd think. I kind of liked being homeless actually because it was freedom to me. I could do anything I want, which was nothing like how it was at home. I could wear whatever I want, talk however I wanted, wear make-up, get piercings, I loved that. The being hungry all the time sucked but after a while it doesn't really bother you. The only part I really didn't like was not being clean. I mean, my clothes were dirty and I didn't really mind that but I stank. I used to go to restrooms at like gas stations and shit and wash myself and my clothes in the sink.
Of course I ate, I'd be dead if I didn't.
I usually stole stuff. Sometimes the food itself. sometimes I picked pockets and used the money to buy food. Sometimes I stole things and hocked them for money for food.
I look at everything from a natural selection standpoint. I can't really believe in anything else. My parents ruined God for me and being forced and frightened into believing in something pretty much killed my faith so I see things through natural selection.
I guess my life hasn't really been that easy really. I've gone through a whole lot of shit and I don't really have any morality, I just do what I have to do to survive. Everything else is for my enjoyment really. I'm an animal just like anyone else, you know?
Like the whole pick-pocketting thing, it's natural selection. I'm stronger than they are so as far as I see it, that money is mine. Plus I just need it more than they do. If they're too dumb to figure out or notice that I'm stealing from them, then they're a weak link and have it coming. I'm not going to feel bad about it, fuck them.
Yeah, I know but it's how I am. When you've lived a life like mine it's hard to be a caring person. Eventually, if you're a normal person you just get sick of everyone's shit, tired of everyone walking all over you and treating you like you're a punching bag or a sex toy or whatever. It's either use or be used and I've been used enough, you know?
Fuck, who hasn't? My family, friends, people I've dated. It was like I had 'disposable' written all over me. It fucking sucked so I finally decided I had enough of it.