Monster Attack! Round Two!
My friends, once again in my world travels I have discovered several new strange and terrible monsters. I feel I should show them to you so that you may know the face of the new threats and possibly how to avoid them.
This is the Hand of Minos. I encountered this horrible creature in the Catacombs beneath Paris and barely escaped with my life. It scuttles about on its fingertips not unlike Thing from the Addams family, keeping two fingers upwards to see. I witnessed it creeping along the ceiling, then dropping down on an unsuspecting mouse and devouring it whole. The Hand of Minos seems to have no weaknesses as it was unphased by any of my attacks.
The Sphere of Fear is an ancient Aztec demon. It was said that the Sphere of Fear would bring about the end of the world in 2018. I accidentally summoned this being when I was at the pyramid of the Moon on the Yucatan. I was pretty drunk and had to piss so I went right on the side of the pyramid. Sorry Guys.
Garbagio is the beast that lives in your garbage disposal. Some 'informed' minds would say that a blade dices up the refuse into a pulp but they are fools. The food is disposed by way of Garbagio's massive mouth and sharp teeth that happen to resemble blades. Garbagio will eat anything providing it can fit in his mouth, including your hands.
This is Smyrma. Smyrma is an ancient subterranean hydra that lives primarily in the Deserts of Asia and Africa. Like any other hydra if one of her heads is lost she will grow two in its place, making her even deadlier, not to mention pissed off. However unlike other hydra Smyrma lives underground. One moment you're walking along minding your own business, then BAM Smyrma comes up from under the sand and tears you to ribbons.
And last but not least is:
Nikki St. Croix, the most petrifying monster so far. Nikki St. Croix was the lead singer of 80's hair metal band: Sulfuric. He was well known for his shredding prowess and wide vocal range. During their meteoric rise to rock superstardom Nikki became addicted to PCP and one night slaughtered his bandmates with his trademark red Flying V named Suzanne. He later called Brett Michaels of Poison a 'Total faggot' and punched him in the face for writing'Every Rose has its thorn' then wrote a song about eating pussy for a year.
Ever since then he has skulked about the world, using his guitar solos to paralyse his potential victims before devouring them like a mindless beast with the mouth that was once responsible for all of his success.
This is the Hand of Minos. I encountered this horrible creature in the Catacombs beneath Paris and barely escaped with my life. It scuttles about on its fingertips not unlike Thing from the Addams family, keeping two fingers upwards to see. I witnessed it creeping along the ceiling, then dropping down on an unsuspecting mouse and devouring it whole. The Hand of Minos seems to have no weaknesses as it was unphased by any of my attacks.
The Sphere of Fear is an ancient Aztec demon. It was said that the Sphere of Fear would bring about the end of the world in 2018. I accidentally summoned this being when I was at the pyramid of the Moon on the Yucatan. I was pretty drunk and had to piss so I went right on the side of the pyramid. Sorry Guys.
Garbagio is the beast that lives in your garbage disposal. Some 'informed' minds would say that a blade dices up the refuse into a pulp but they are fools. The food is disposed by way of Garbagio's massive mouth and sharp teeth that happen to resemble blades. Garbagio will eat anything providing it can fit in his mouth, including your hands.
This is Smyrma. Smyrma is an ancient subterranean hydra that lives primarily in the Deserts of Asia and Africa. Like any other hydra if one of her heads is lost she will grow two in its place, making her even deadlier, not to mention pissed off. However unlike other hydra Smyrma lives underground. One moment you're walking along minding your own business, then BAM Smyrma comes up from under the sand and tears you to ribbons.
And last but not least is:
Nikki St. Croix, the most petrifying monster so far. Nikki St. Croix was the lead singer of 80's hair metal band: Sulfuric. He was well known for his shredding prowess and wide vocal range. During their meteoric rise to rock superstardom Nikki became addicted to PCP and one night slaughtered his bandmates with his trademark red Flying V named Suzanne. He later called Brett Michaels of Poison a 'Total faggot' and punched him in the face for writing'Every Rose has its thorn' then wrote a song about eating pussy for a year.
Ever since then he has skulked about the world, using his guitar solos to paralyse his potential victims before devouring them like a mindless beast with the mouth that was once responsible for all of his success.