(no subject)
Taking an absolutely brilliant idea from mosca, I'm going to go through and pick out some of my favorite lines from the fic/political rants I've written in the last year. If you're currently snowed in on the East Coast and looking for something to read, come on over here :)
This could be entertaining only for me, though, so I've .
Sark stands up, expensive Italian loafer in hand. “Really, there was no other alternative. I just had to kill the phone with my shoe.”
“Hanging up being not dramatic enough for you,” Lauren snaps.
“It did lack a certain flair, yes.” Worst. Receptionist. Ever. (Alias)
----------
Against the orders of Grima, Éomer had ordered the stables to be emptied, the barracks cleared, and Éowyn had watched from her balcony, her hair whipping around her, as her brother galloped away on a rescue mission. As she saw him go, blond and fearless against the setting sun, she tried to remember the last time a patrol had returned unscathed from a battle against orcs. She swallowed around a lump in her throat as she tried to remember a time where a patrol had returned with more than half of its Riders. The Days Come Down in the West (LotR)
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I am a forthright man, and I will admit that when I first joined the Riders I dreamed of being listed among the great warriors that are sung of around the fires. As I look out on this battlefield, I see before me the kind of desperate scenario that stories are made of, but I doubt if anyone will survive the oncoming slaughter to tell the tale. Fire and Slaughter (LotR)
----------
I found it amazing that such a tiny object had managed to inspire such fear into the hearts of the brave warriors who surrounded me. “It is a gift,” I said. “A gift to the foes of Mordor.”
The assembly couldn’t have reacted with more horror if I had announced to them that I was planning to marry Gimli son of Gloin. I Can Resist Everything Except Temptation (LotR)
----------
“If something moved, that’s Ali’s hamster. She lost it here a couple weekends back,” he yelled into the room.
“Gross, Elwood. No, a commercial scared me,” Dom yelled back.
“Dude, a commercial scared you?” Elijah rolled his eyes as he came back into the room juggling four beers and a new bag of Cheetos.
“Shut up,” Dom retorted. “It was scary. Gimme that beer.”
“If you’re having visions, maybe you need to not have the beer.” We Love the Subs (Lotrips)
----------
“Hello?”
”Can you hear me now?”
“Billy, do you even know why that’s funny?”
“Not really, no.”
Click. Drunk Dials (Lotrips)
----------
Dom smiled. "I sing, Billy sings, Viggo sings a lot. Guess who actually sings in the books, my friend? The Elf. All the damn time, actually. Philippa and Fran believe that in the spirit of accuracy you really can't make it through the trilogy without at least one little ditty."
"Oh, God. I wield a pretty decent knife, I'm not half-bad with a bow, I pranced around on the top of the snow like a damn ballerina. How much more like Leggy do I need to be?"
"Pretty much you've got to sing, Orli."But Orli, All Elves Sing (Lotrips)
----------
Billy and Dom stopped babbling and looked at him with pleading, if slightly unfocused, eyes. The same pleading eyes, Orlando remembered, that he had seen when he had woken up on set with red nail varnish on his hands and pink ribbons in his wig. And when he had discovered that his Lothlorien boat had been improved with a “I’d Rather be Sailing to the Undying Lands” sticker. And when he had removed a sign on the back of his costume that had said, “Kick me, I’m a poncy Elf,” although the hobbits had sworn that had been Bean’s idea. Drink Up, Me Hearties, Yo Ho (Lotrips)
----------
He pointed the remote at the television and looked over at Casey. “I think it’s time for you to just stop the macho act, hand me the money I’ve won and let me continue to look for women’s beach volleyball. Hamm’s done. He’d need all of his nearest rivals to starting falling off of equipment, and some huge numbers on the next two rotations.”
Casey was doing the math in his head. “He’d need a couple of 9.8s, yeah.”
“And since this is the Olympics and not some movie of the week where the plucky young American overcomes adversity to win a medal,” Dan said, “the judges aren’t just going to throw those kind of scores out there.” The Olympic Spirit (SportsNight)
----------
In the time that she had been working for Josh, Donna had learned to gauge his mood by the tonal quality and amount of effort he put into screaming her name from his office. This version was “incredibly confused” with a side of “and you better have a good explanation for it.” Conversations with Crazy People (West Wing)
----------
You gradually remember that it’s a rare person outside of the Beltway who is entertained by stories about how you and Josh went up to the Hill to pressure the Labor-H Approps Senate chair to remove his anonymous hold by threatening to line-item all of his state’s pork. You start to realize that most people would only have understood half of the words in that sentence, and would probably have come away with a vague feeling you were talking about agriculture.Withdrawal (West Wing)
----------
JOHN KERRY: You’re mine, bitch.
GEORGE BUSH: I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and comes back onto you.
KERRY: These are your debating skills? Jesus. The First Presidential Debate
----------
BUSH: In the last debate, I’m interpreting his remarks to make it sound like KERRY said that America must pass a global test before we can protect ourselves, which is stupid. Also, the sanctions weren’t removing Saddam from power, so we had to go do it.
KERRY: Dipshit, the sanctions weren’t supposed to remove Saddam from power; they were to make sure he didn’t get WMD. Turns out they were doing pretty good. If you had listened to the UN, we might still have $200 billion that we’ve spent in Iraq. Thhhp. The Second Presidential Debate
----------
Today is a day where we look back on our history and say “America/Freedom OTP”. For the last fifty years, we’ve totally been guarding the borders of freedom in places that aren’t the United States. After the shipwreck of communism, where we were stranded on the deserted island of Mutually Assured Destruction and chased by the polar bears of nuclear proliferation and living in fear of the big scary dinosaur of the Warsaw Pact, we have finally come out into a safer, better world, where this stuff is only seen on TV. The Inaugural Address
----------
That was fun, but it reminds me that I need to write more. Hrmm...when's the State of the Union? That should be some prime fodder...and when the laptop comes back, I can finish some of the dozens of works in progress currently languishing in my hard drive.
This could be entertaining only for me, though, so I've .
Sark stands up, expensive Italian loafer in hand. “Really, there was no other alternative. I just had to kill the phone with my shoe.”
“Hanging up being not dramatic enough for you,” Lauren snaps.
“It did lack a certain flair, yes.” Worst. Receptionist. Ever. (Alias)
----------
Against the orders of Grima, Éomer had ordered the stables to be emptied, the barracks cleared, and Éowyn had watched from her balcony, her hair whipping around her, as her brother galloped away on a rescue mission. As she saw him go, blond and fearless against the setting sun, she tried to remember the last time a patrol had returned unscathed from a battle against orcs. She swallowed around a lump in her throat as she tried to remember a time where a patrol had returned with more than half of its Riders. The Days Come Down in the West (LotR)
----------
I am a forthright man, and I will admit that when I first joined the Riders I dreamed of being listed among the great warriors that are sung of around the fires. As I look out on this battlefield, I see before me the kind of desperate scenario that stories are made of, but I doubt if anyone will survive the oncoming slaughter to tell the tale. Fire and Slaughter (LotR)
----------
I found it amazing that such a tiny object had managed to inspire such fear into the hearts of the brave warriors who surrounded me. “It is a gift,” I said. “A gift to the foes of Mordor.”
The assembly couldn’t have reacted with more horror if I had announced to them that I was planning to marry Gimli son of Gloin. I Can Resist Everything Except Temptation (LotR)
----------
“If something moved, that’s Ali’s hamster. She lost it here a couple weekends back,” he yelled into the room.
“Gross, Elwood. No, a commercial scared me,” Dom yelled back.
“Dude, a commercial scared you?” Elijah rolled his eyes as he came back into the room juggling four beers and a new bag of Cheetos.
“Shut up,” Dom retorted. “It was scary. Gimme that beer.”
“If you’re having visions, maybe you need to not have the beer.” We Love the Subs (Lotrips)
----------
“Hello?”
”Can you hear me now?”
“Billy, do you even know why that’s funny?”
“Not really, no.”
Click. Drunk Dials (Lotrips)
----------
Dom smiled. "I sing, Billy sings, Viggo sings a lot. Guess who actually sings in the books, my friend? The Elf. All the damn time, actually. Philippa and Fran believe that in the spirit of accuracy you really can't make it through the trilogy without at least one little ditty."
"Oh, God. I wield a pretty decent knife, I'm not half-bad with a bow, I pranced around on the top of the snow like a damn ballerina. How much more like Leggy do I need to be?"
"Pretty much you've got to sing, Orli."But Orli, All Elves Sing (Lotrips)
----------
Billy and Dom stopped babbling and looked at him with pleading, if slightly unfocused, eyes. The same pleading eyes, Orlando remembered, that he had seen when he had woken up on set with red nail varnish on his hands and pink ribbons in his wig. And when he had discovered that his Lothlorien boat had been improved with a “I’d Rather be Sailing to the Undying Lands” sticker. And when he had removed a sign on the back of his costume that had said, “Kick me, I’m a poncy Elf,” although the hobbits had sworn that had been Bean’s idea. Drink Up, Me Hearties, Yo Ho (Lotrips)
----------
He pointed the remote at the television and looked over at Casey. “I think it’s time for you to just stop the macho act, hand me the money I’ve won and let me continue to look for women’s beach volleyball. Hamm’s done. He’d need all of his nearest rivals to starting falling off of equipment, and some huge numbers on the next two rotations.”
Casey was doing the math in his head. “He’d need a couple of 9.8s, yeah.”
“And since this is the Olympics and not some movie of the week where the plucky young American overcomes adversity to win a medal,” Dan said, “the judges aren’t just going to throw those kind of scores out there.” The Olympic Spirit (SportsNight)
----------
In the time that she had been working for Josh, Donna had learned to gauge his mood by the tonal quality and amount of effort he put into screaming her name from his office. This version was “incredibly confused” with a side of “and you better have a good explanation for it.” Conversations with Crazy People (West Wing)
----------
You gradually remember that it’s a rare person outside of the Beltway who is entertained by stories about how you and Josh went up to the Hill to pressure the Labor-H Approps Senate chair to remove his anonymous hold by threatening to line-item all of his state’s pork. You start to realize that most people would only have understood half of the words in that sentence, and would probably have come away with a vague feeling you were talking about agriculture.Withdrawal (West Wing)
----------
JOHN KERRY: You’re mine, bitch.
GEORGE BUSH: I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and comes back onto you.
KERRY: These are your debating skills? Jesus. The First Presidential Debate
----------
BUSH: In the last debate, I’m interpreting his remarks to make it sound like KERRY said that America must pass a global test before we can protect ourselves, which is stupid. Also, the sanctions weren’t removing Saddam from power, so we had to go do it.
KERRY: Dipshit, the sanctions weren’t supposed to remove Saddam from power; they were to make sure he didn’t get WMD. Turns out they were doing pretty good. If you had listened to the UN, we might still have $200 billion that we’ve spent in Iraq. Thhhp. The Second Presidential Debate
----------
Today is a day where we look back on our history and say “America/Freedom OTP”. For the last fifty years, we’ve totally been guarding the borders of freedom in places that aren’t the United States. After the shipwreck of communism, where we were stranded on the deserted island of Mutually Assured Destruction and chased by the polar bears of nuclear proliferation and living in fear of the big scary dinosaur of the Warsaw Pact, we have finally come out into a safer, better world, where this stuff is only seen on TV. The Inaugural Address
----------
That was fun, but it reminds me that I need to write more. Hrmm...when's the State of the Union? That should be some prime fodder...and when the laptop comes back, I can finish some of the dozens of works in progress currently languishing in my hard drive.