Morning Glow -- [ Tora/Hiroto - Fanfiction ]

Sep 16, 2008 21:41

Title: Morning Glow
Author: Aki freekshxt
Pairing: Tora/Hiroto
Rating: R-15
Genre: Angst/Death/Drama
Comments: Inspired by FFX2 song "Morning Glow"
Disclaimer: I do not own alice nine., or anybody in the band.



They were laying together in bed, like they always did. Holding hands, fingers entwined, cuddling together and they fit perfectly like a puzzle piece. A smile was painted on Tora's face as he held the smaller guitarist close to him, and pressing a soft, loving kiss to his temple. This brought Hiroto to smile brightly and look up at the older man, who looked back down into his chocolate hues so lovingly.

"We'll be together forever, Taiga. I promise, promise." He confirmed his words with a nod of his head.

Tora didn't say a word, he simply nodded and pulled the younger man closer to him, craving the heat that radiated from Hiroto's body. He watched as his young lover played with his fingers, amused that the little one was so easily entertained, not that it lasted for very long. The silence between them was comfortable, like they didn't need words to understand each other. It was perfect, and Tora didn't ever want it to go away.

"Pon, how can you promise forever?" Tora finally decided to ask, which the other just smiled at him as if he didn't need to explain himself.

"Because, Pon's statistics say it's possible. Just as long as you always have a good heart, and believe in forever." Said Hiroto.

The raven-haired man couldn't help but smile, and then nod in response. It was a good enough reason for him, so why let it bother him. He shifted his weight so that he and his lover were both laying in bed comfortably with Hiroto's head on his bare chest. He watched as his lover closed his eyes, and nuzzled his nose beneath his chin. Another kiss was placed to Hiroto's crown, and the younger one looked up to Tora....except...his face was stained in blood. He was slipping away, out of Tora's reach making the other start to panic. Where was he going? What was happening...he was falling into the darkness...

"Hiroto!!" Tora screamed as he awoke, shooting straight up into bed.

He placed his hand to his chest, feeling his heart racing and the dampness of the sweat his body created was seeping into the palm of his hand. He attempted to steady his heavy breathing, but to a slow success. After moments of recollecting himself, his hand dropped from his chest and he could feel his heart sinking into the same nothingness that his lover had in his dream.

Tossing the blankets aside, he decided to get up and walk into the kitchen. He groaned, displeased that it was already 3:30 in the morning and he still had to work in three hours. He walked to the counter, pressing the red button which turned the coffee pot on. He placed himself in one of the chairs that surrounded his small table and allowed his face to fall into his hands. He didn't want to cry, he couldn't let himself...he'd always had too much pride to let it happen.

"You know, it's good to cry sometimes, Taiga. It helps get it all out, you know?"

"I know, Pon. I know." He mumbled, responding to the voice that he couldn't get out of his head.

His body was trembling, though he was oblivious that it was even happening. Oblivious to the fact that tears had begun to pour down his his cheeks and make a small puddle on the table beneath him. His heart was aching, sinking, breaking...you name it, he had it. Nothing but negative thoughts were plaguing his mind, and much to anybody's displeasure, he didn't care. He didn't want to be here anymore. He didn't want to try anymore, he didn't care anymore, he simply just wanted to stop breathing right then and there.

"No, Tora! I don't want to go! Let's just ditch the interview and forget about it, please? Just for one day..." Hiroto begged as he sat in front of a building.

The other man sighed and shook his head, telling the smaller man that his idea was out of the question. They couldn't just ditch an interview! Every alice nine. fan was probably watching the TV just to see them, even if it wasn't the whole band. Though, in Tora's opinion the idea wasn't a bad one. Their manager had everybody so busy, it was hard for Tora and Hiroto to be themselves, or even have a moment of peace together.

"Fine! You do the interview, I'm going to go find something fun to do without you!" He watched as the younger man stormed off down the street.

Tora just rolled his eyes, knowing the other man wouldn't go far without him so he walked in to the building and sat down.

He picked his head up from the table, taking a deep breath as he did so. He wiped his tears with his hands, silently cursing himself. He should have followed him that day, he should have just ditched the day and spent it with Pon. Mentally beating himself had only brought more tears to his eyes. It was no wonder why he had been so miserable, he hated himself so much and would give anything just to go back to that day.

Suddenly, he felt all his sorrow turn to anger, and he was sending his fists in to the table. It didn't neglect the fact that he was still sobbing, which went unnoticed. The anger didn't last long, and he fell forward with his head dropping into his arms; again cursing himself until he had realized the coffee machine stopped making that disgusting noise that sounded like an empty stomach.

It was already 5:52, and Tora was on his sixth cup of coffee. He didn't move much, just from the table to the coffee machine and back. He was supposed to be at work in less than ten minutes, but, he didn't care. He could care less about work at the moment, especially with the way he was feeling...he wasn't. He didn't feel anything, not even if he wanted to. He stared down into his black coffee mug blankly, hardly noticing the faint ringing of his cell phone in the next room. Of course he heard it, but he thought maybe he was just hearing things from lack of sleep.

Finally picking himself up, he retrieved his phone and stared at the caller ID. It was Nao...not the person he wanted to talk to. He didn't want to talk to anybody. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to answer the phone.

"What do you want, Nao..?" He answered, his tone was almost vicious but there was so much hidden sorrow.

"I'm coming to pick you up~! Now, open your door." Nao said cheerfully, like he didn't take the hint that Tora was in no mood to be around other people.

Hearing that, Tora had just hung up and unlocked his door to swing it open and tried to glare at the annoying drummer. Somehow, he just didn't have the energy to make such a face. He stared down at the smaller man, that blankness showing in his eyes, and it made the other instantly become concerned.

"Tora-kun, are you feelin--"

"No, I'm not feeling well. No, I'm not going in to work." He cut the other off in a very monotone manner.

He closed the door on Nao's face, causing the other to squeak in surprise and just stare at the door. He was about to walk away before it had opened again.

"Oh, and you can tell the others I quit. Find another new guitarist, since it seemed to be so easy to replace Hiroto." Again, the door was shut and locked.

It had been hours since Pon had gone missing, and at this point Tora was ready to break down in to tears. He had searched all over for his lover. His favorite bookstores, his favorite restaurants, even his favorite theme park! There was no Hiroto. This left Tora sitting on a bench in the middle of the park, elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He felt like pulling his hair out.

"Hiroto, where did you go...?" He asked himself, ignoring the frowning bassist that was sitting on the bench with him.

"We'll find him, Tora. He couldn't have gone far, ne?" Saga tried to reassure him, more so with a weak smile.

The guitarist shook his head and closed his eyes, trying his hardest to think of a place he had been with Hiroto before. The vibration of his cell phone in his pocket distracted him from his thoughts. He pulled the phone out quickly, hoping to see Hiroto's number come up on the screen. Unfortunately, he didn't recognize the number. At all. Maybe it was Hiroto!

"Moshi-moshi?" He answered almost frantically, hoping to hear Hiroto's voice on the other end.

"Hello, am I speaking to a Amano Shinji-san?" Great, he sounded like some professional trying to talk to him about leaving the interview.

"Uh...yes, this is Shinji.."

"My name is Koga Keiji from St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo, Japan. We have a patient here by the name of Ogata Hiroto," and Tora's heart sank.

"You were the first in his emergency contacts. We're going to need you to come down here."

"I'm on my way." He dropped the phone, not caring to hang it up or keep it with him and he ran.

This left Saga confused, but, rushing after him quickly after picking up the others cell phone from the cement. It was hard to keep up with the guitarist, but, Saga didn't let him out of his line of sight. All the while mentally thanking the deity's above for granting him with great eye, foot, hand coordination...if that were possible.

Tora on the other hand was pushing people out of the way, causing some people to stare, some to move out of the way, and even more to yell and curse at him for being so rude. He was ignoring Saga's yells to him, telling him to hold on and wait. He couldn't wait, his feet wouldn't let him, much less his heart.

He rushed himself around the corner, running through the parking lot of the hospital and in through the doors. He got a lot of odd looks which he brushed off without a care, and he searched for the desk. He ran up to it, slamming his hands down to grab the attention of the woman behind it.

"Can I he--"

"Where's Ogata Hiroto? I want to see him now!" He cut her off and yelled, making more of a scene then he probably ever had in his life.

The woman behind the desk looked shocked at the way this strange man had conducted himself. She could see the anger and anxiety boiling through his eyes, and she quickly began to type in the name.

"I'm sorry, Sir..his room was taken over." She said, looking at him with an apologetic look.

"So, where the fuck is he?!" He yelled, about ready to reach over that counter and strangle the life out of her.

"Are you Amano-san?" Came a voice from behind him, and as he turned around to look at him, Saga came through the door red in the face and out of breath.

"Yes, I am." He confirmed, taking a few steps towards the man.

"I'm Dr. Keiji. I'm regret to inform you that Ogata-san was in a terrible accident and didn't make it out alive. We did all we could, unfortunately we couldn't find where he was bleeding from in time. I'm truly sorry."

Tora stared at him, looking at him like it was all a joke. He didn't believe it. No, not his Hiroto. His Hiroto was tough, and Pon's statistics proved that they were to be together forever. Right? That's what Hiroto had said...No, that's what he had promised...

He didn't realize the tears stinging his eyes until they fell down his cheeks, and the wetness pulled him out of his thoughts. He had no idea that his legs had given out and sent him falling to the floor. Saga was right beside him, trying his best not to cry as well, to be strong for the guitarist who so dearly needed all the comfort he could get.

He woke up again, this time choking on his own tears. He wandered his way in to the kitchen, coughing violently, and he grabbed a glass of water. Just as quickly as he downed the water, he let the glass fall into the sink. These dreams were haunting him, and what hurt him even more was that he never got a chance to say goodbye. They refused to allow Tora to see the younger man.

He wanted to cry again, and he would have been too if there were still tears to pour out. He couldn't cry anymore, it just wouldn't happen. No matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he thought of losing Hiroto..he just couldn't cry.

Now, he found himself wandering the apartment, absent mindedly touching everything that once belonged to Hiroto. He stopped in his bedroom, looking at a picture that was sitting on his dresser that was of Hiroto. It wasn't just any picture, though. Hiroto had gone to a professional, and not one of their photographers, and had a picture taken just for Tora. It had their names burned in to the corner. Reaching over, he grabbed the picture and used the back of his index finger to stroke the picture where his lovers cheek was.

A small smile crept over his face before he had set the picture back in it's rightful place and now he looked around his room. It was still filled with a lot of Hiroto's things. A few of his shirts that hadn't moved from their spot on the chair, or his pile of guitar pics that were sitting on the table near the bed. One of his guitars was still sitting in the corner of his room, taking him back to remember that his lovers acoustic was hanging on the wall in the living room. Underneath the guitar was an Xbox 360 that had a stack of games sitting on top of it, all of which belonged to the young guitarist.

It was at then that he understood the meaning of Hiroto's promise. Though his lover wasn't there physically, he was all around him. His things had given off energy much similar to Hiroto's, or maybe it was just because they were his things. He knew everything Hiroto would say to each situation, or every time somebody would say something that would get the younger man to respond. No, he wasn't with him physically, but he was in his heart, and he would always remember his lover. He lived on through memory, memories from everybody from friends, to family, to looking at a certain book that Pon would read.

Wiping the tear that fell down his cheek, he slipped into a clean pair of jeans and pulled a hoodie over his torso. He packed up his guitar and headed out the door, locking it behind him. He smiled as he walked down the hall, remembering how Hiroto would race him to the elevator. He ran, picturing the younger man just a few step ahead of him, then shouting out his victory as he pressed the button. Smiling to himself, he stepped inside and watched the doors close.

"Tora..." Came the responses of the band as Tora had walked through the door.

They all looked a little blue in the face before they noticed that their raven-haired guitarist had walked in. Shou looked to Nao almost asking what they should do, but it was Saga who stood up.

"I thought you quit?" He asked, almost in a cocky manner. He should have expected the lovely bassist to be a little hostile with him, they were the closest of friends after all.

"Hiroto wouldn't want me to." Came the reply, and he wandered to his designated station to hook up his guitar.

They all watched him, almost shocked at the new attitude the guitarist was giving off. He seemed...happier, almost as if Hiroto had never passed away. Like he was just sitting on the couch, giggling and laughing, making fun of Tora for being so 'spooky' since he really couldn't say 'mysterious' correctly. Tora, on the other hand, just smiled at them as he placed his guitar strap over his shoulder.

"Are we going to practice or not?" He asked, and the others all nodded and moved to their places and adjusting themselves to begin.

"We'll be together forever, Hiroto. I promise, promise."
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