I feel a great need to get totally and irrevocably wasted... but i cant and it will just make things worse
screw you world!

the season is coming the toys are all here... its when all my gentile friends spread christmas cheer =P

Merry Christmas and Happy Hannuka

now lisa i had a question for you I think im going to try something... ill be on most of tomarow

Well so much for not being a fuck up... I'm on academic probation
I wish getting drunk wouldnt just make things worse
I wish a lot of things
but wishes arent worth shit

I'm tired

sometimes I worry that im going to turn as one of those crazy ppl... you know the kind in the paper who beg the state to keep them locked up becuase they know they are gonna go out and hurt ppl or like my friends dad who cant hold a job and his family is barley making it sometimes becuase he just doesnt function well enough ( Read more... )

I have had in my life 3 perfect days that is what keeps me fighting the depression even when it gets like this and i cant find my way out of the dark.... maybe thats divinity in my life... those 3 perfect days i wish someone else could see those 3 days the way i see them... I wish someone would understand that I am loosing a battle against myself ( Read more... )

shes back im lost... what more can I say
I am having too many of my own problems to deal with her being back but maybe in time things will work out im tired of them not working out
I think if things fail again im going to give up.. really just give up

oh for mortal is thine love,
that makes it sweet when caresses end,
but to feel touch before my time,
eternal love to thee id send
.................................................................

what bloodied ground so vainly fought
is soaked in toil that ill forgot
the grass is green when fertilized
but in the end is brown and dry

I havent updated in a while id rather just talk to people through aim or what not... life is moving smoothly at the moment with just a few large kinks

life goes on... hockey is lots of fun... having trouble with girls but what else is new im dating one