Not good. Not good at all.
im just a mess now. here's why.
im forced to stay at fau now. i hate it. im almost about to cry. i had my heart set on going to jacksonville. i had so much planned, plans for how things would work. and now its all null and void. i have to stay home, i will have another 5 hours added to the drive to see morgen, and im sure there is more than that, im just too upset to think. as if i dont have enough to be upset about. recent times have not been good to me. this is not the icing on the cake though. this is the fucking platter the cake is on.
its amazing. its amazing how the one thing i want to do for the rest of my life, music, is the one thing keeping me sane right now. hard, hateful music is actually very therapeutic(sp?). Right now my playlist is at "were all to blame" by sum41. thrice's "a subtle dagger" before that. the hard, heavy, hateful sound is so powerful, so potent, that it temporarily gets my mind off of being upset about it to the point of still being upset, but not letting it depress me because im so occupied hating the factor and following the music.
i dont know what to do. thats i lie. i do know. i just dont want to do it, so i think of how i can still do what i want to do knowing i cant.
i think im gonna be sick.