Dates in Time: Interlude #1
Interlude #1: Phone Conversation #1-5 Recorded by The Tardis
#1
*ring! ring! ring! ring! ring! ring!*
“Hello?”
“Hello sweetie!”
“River?”
“Yes! Exactly! River!”
“Why are you phoning me? You never phone the Tardis.”
“Well there is a first time for everything.”
“Why does your voice sound all weird?”
“Got a bit of a cold.”
“Do you need my help with something? Amy and Rory are busy on one of the honeymoons I planned for them, and I’m really up for a bit of adventure.”
*really quietly* “Not unless you want to help with my statistics homework.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing at all. Anyway, there is no adventures going on over here. Just called to say hello.”
“Well then, hello.”
“Goodbye, Doctor.”
*dial tone*
#2
*ring! ring! ring! ring! ring! ring!*
“Hello?”
“Hello sweetie!”
“Melody, how did you get this number? Do I give it to you?”
“Spoilers! Just calling to ask if you’re doing anything. Think maybe you could pop in and we could go out on another date. Maybe this time to a different planet.”
“Aren‘t you getting sick of me yet? I left you not even minutes ago.”
“Well there’s time travel for you. It’s been about two months down here on Earth.”
“Ms. Pond, is that longing I hear in your voice? Do you miss me?”
“Well aren’t you cheeky?”
*laughs* “Ms. Melody Pond I wish I could pop back in and whisk you away to another planet, but my schedule is kind of full.”
“Oh. Okay. That’s fine. I got homework to do anyway.”
“Well I think I can clear my schedule for a bit and maybe whisk you away to Berelium.”
“Berelium?”
“It’s a planet made entirely out of metal. Really beautiful during the full moon.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
“See you then.”
“See you then.”
*dial tone*
#3
*ring! rin--!*
“Does the time vortex influence sterility?”
*choking sounds and then some coughing* “I’m sorry?”
“Are you okay?”
“Fine, just fine. Now what did you say about sterility?”
“The Tardis, well the time vortex, do you think it has any influence over sterility?”
“It is very possible? Is there a reason you’re asking this?”
“Well, my parents have been trying to have another baby, and it seems that they can’t.”
“That is entirely too much information.”
“Not helping Doctor. “
“Maybe it has nothing to do with the time vortex maybe one child is enough for the Ponds. Don’t you like being an only child?”
“Sometimes it gets lonely.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Why are you?”
“What? Lonely?”
“Well yes, from what my mum tells me you’ve always had some sort of companion on your space travels. Why not find a new one?”
“I did. But she’s still too young to go gallivanting about space.”
“I would you know.”
“Would what exactly?”
“Follow you until the end of the universe.”
*dial tone*
#4
*ring! ring! ring! ring! ring! ring!*
“Hello?”
“Why does it take you so long to answer the phone?”
“Time machine, traveling through space at the speed of light, of course it takes some time for the Tardis to intercept and reroute the call.”
“That would explain it then. Will you ever teach me how to fly her? The Tardis?”
“She’s a very temperamental girl. I’m not sure she’d be too keen on anyone else.”
“Well at least I would take off the parking break.”
“That was one time!”
“You mean one time that you actually remembered to use it?”
“-----”
“Sorry! I didn’t call to tell you how to fly your sexy thing. I called to let you know that I’ve been invited to the cinema by some older bloke who seems very keen on the idea of getting into my pants.”
“Why would that be of relevance to me?”
“When I say ’getting into my pants’ I mean that he wants to shag me.”
*sputters* “How old are you again?”
“Oh come on! You’re worse than my mum! Like I would let anyone touch me. I’m saving that for someone else.”
*clears throat* “Right well. Ms. Melody Pond, it has been a pleasure talking to you, but I’m afraid that if I don’t get out of the time stream now I’ll be late for our date.”
“Oh! A date!”
“Spoilers, so see you later?”
“Later, sweetie.” *muah*
*dial tone*
#5
*ring!*
“What are you wearing?”
“Do you always answer the phone with a question?”
“Only when I know I’m going to like the answer I’m going to get. So now tell me what are you wearing?”
“Um, my black trousers, a white buttoned down and a bow tie.”
“You really don’t know how to play this game do you?”
“I didn’t know we were playing a game. Games usually have rules, none of which you bothered to explain.”
“Tsk. Tsk Doctor, some rules don’t need to be explained. Anyway, was there a particular reason you phoned?”
“Yes there is, I hear you’re turning sixteen soon.”
“And by ‘I hear’ you mean you got a very angry note from me because you didn’t go even after I sent you an invite?”
*clears throat*
“Well, yes something along those lines, anyway I wanted to ask, what do you want for your birthday? Turning sixteen after all is something worth something grand.”
“How about that trip to Berelium you promised me?”
“Maybe for another birthday.”
“Ah, spoilers!”
“Yes that, did you wait long for me?”
“No, my mum knows you too well. You’re either on time or years late.”
“She’s never going to let me live that down is she?”
“It was twelve years and she didn’t even step foot inside the Tardis. If you had left me for twelve years I probably would’ve murdered you.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question.”
“Then all I have is one request.”
“Tell me.”
“Dance with me on the night of my birthday under the stars. You could waltz me around the Tardis on our way to another adventure.”
“I think I can manage that.”
“See you then.”
“See you then.”
*dial tone*
Chapter 2
#1
*ring! ring! ring! ring! ring! ring!*
“Hello?”
“Hello sweetie!”
“River?”
“Yes! Exactly! River!”
“Why are you phoning me? You never phone the Tardis.”
“Well there is a first time for everything.”
“Why does your voice sound all weird?”
“Got a bit of a cold.”
“Do you need my help with something? Amy and Rory are busy on one of the honeymoons I planned for them, and I’m really up for a bit of adventure.”
*really quietly* “Not unless you want to help with my statistics homework.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing at all. Anyway, there is no adventures going on over here. Just called to say hello.”
“Well then, hello.”
“Goodbye, Doctor.”
*dial tone*
#2
*ring! ring! ring! ring! ring! ring!*
“Hello?”
“Hello sweetie!”
“Melody, how did you get this number? Do I give it to you?”
“Spoilers! Just calling to ask if you’re doing anything. Think maybe you could pop in and we could go out on another date. Maybe this time to a different planet.”
“Aren‘t you getting sick of me yet? I left you not even minutes ago.”
“Well there’s time travel for you. It’s been about two months down here on Earth.”
“Ms. Pond, is that longing I hear in your voice? Do you miss me?”
“Well aren’t you cheeky?”
*laughs* “Ms. Melody Pond I wish I could pop back in and whisk you away to another planet, but my schedule is kind of full.”
“Oh. Okay. That’s fine. I got homework to do anyway.”
“Well I think I can clear my schedule for a bit and maybe whisk you away to Berelium.”
“Berelium?”
“It’s a planet made entirely out of metal. Really beautiful during the full moon.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
“See you then.”
“See you then.”
*dial tone*
#3
*ring! rin--!*
“Does the time vortex influence sterility?”
*choking sounds and then some coughing* “I’m sorry?”
“Are you okay?”
“Fine, just fine. Now what did you say about sterility?”
“The Tardis, well the time vortex, do you think it has any influence over sterility?”
“It is very possible? Is there a reason you’re asking this?”
“Well, my parents have been trying to have another baby, and it seems that they can’t.”
“That is entirely too much information.”
“Not helping Doctor. “
“Maybe it has nothing to do with the time vortex maybe one child is enough for the Ponds. Don’t you like being an only child?”
“Sometimes it gets lonely.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Why are you?”
“What? Lonely?”
“Well yes, from what my mum tells me you’ve always had some sort of companion on your space travels. Why not find a new one?”
“I did. But she’s still too young to go gallivanting about space.”
“I would you know.”
“Would what exactly?”
“Follow you until the end of the universe.”
*dial tone*
#4
*ring! ring! ring! ring! ring! ring!*
“Hello?”
“Why does it take you so long to answer the phone?”
“Time machine, traveling through space at the speed of light, of course it takes some time for the Tardis to intercept and reroute the call.”
“That would explain it then. Will you ever teach me how to fly her? The Tardis?”
“She’s a very temperamental girl. I’m not sure she’d be too keen on anyone else.”
“Well at least I would take off the parking break.”
“That was one time!”
“You mean one time that you actually remembered to use it?”
“-----”
“Sorry! I didn’t call to tell you how to fly your sexy thing. I called to let you know that I’ve been invited to the cinema by some older bloke who seems very keen on the idea of getting into my pants.”
“Why would that be of relevance to me?”
“When I say ’getting into my pants’ I mean that he wants to shag me.”
*sputters* “How old are you again?”
“Oh come on! You’re worse than my mum! Like I would let anyone touch me. I’m saving that for someone else.”
*clears throat* “Right well. Ms. Melody Pond, it has been a pleasure talking to you, but I’m afraid that if I don’t get out of the time stream now I’ll be late for our date.”
“Oh! A date!”
“Spoilers, so see you later?”
“Later, sweetie.” *muah*
*dial tone*
#5
*ring!*
“What are you wearing?”
“Do you always answer the phone with a question?”
“Only when I know I’m going to like the answer I’m going to get. So now tell me what are you wearing?”
“Um, my black trousers, a white buttoned down and a bow tie.”
“You really don’t know how to play this game do you?”
“I didn’t know we were playing a game. Games usually have rules, none of which you bothered to explain.”
“Tsk. Tsk Doctor, some rules don’t need to be explained. Anyway, was there a particular reason you phoned?”
“Yes there is, I hear you’re turning sixteen soon.”
“And by ‘I hear’ you mean you got a very angry note from me because you didn’t go even after I sent you an invite?”
*clears throat*
“Well, yes something along those lines, anyway I wanted to ask, what do you want for your birthday? Turning sixteen after all is something worth something grand.”
“How about that trip to Berelium you promised me?”
“Maybe for another birthday.”
“Ah, spoilers!”
“Yes that, did you wait long for me?”
“No, my mum knows you too well. You’re either on time or years late.”
“She’s never going to let me live that down is she?”
“It was twelve years and she didn’t even step foot inside the Tardis. If you had left me for twelve years I probably would’ve murdered you.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question.”
“Then all I have is one request.”
“Tell me.”
“Dance with me on the night of my birthday under the stars. You could waltz me around the Tardis on our way to another adventure.”
“I think I can manage that.”
“See you then.”
“See you then.”
*dial tone*
Chapter 2