HELP! IMMEDIATELY! ILY F-LIST~ (NOW HELP ME PLEASE)

[frenchfraise]

Notes before reading:

• The essay question was "Why should the committee choose you to represent your school in the AJSS?"
• The AJSS is the Ateneo Junior Summer Seminar which invites the best of the best juniors for one unforgettable yet academic summer.
• I tried to lessen the 'me' in it, but it's practically a feature article featuring myself
• SO THERE

Comments

[breyzyyin]

I really liked it, honestly. The idea of the essay seems to be to literally "sell yourself" to the committee (i.e. convince them that you are the best possible person to represent the school)...and I think you definitely do that in this essay with a flowing and rather symbolic use of words (especially when looking at your talk of the Phoenix). I think you really captured your thoughts on why you would be an excellent choice, and you also showcased your potential and room for growth as well. My advice would be just to proofread it a bit more to pick up on missing words or any possible grammar mistakes (though I only really noticed "be" missing from "however, life lessons from our parents cannot easily distorted" and possibly "me" from "this trait thus empowers to become who I desire to be"). Other than that...I think you have a really great essay body here to work with! Great job and good luck! *waves support banner* ♥

[frenchfraise]

THANK YOU! I had a hard time and all with this so...yeah.

It's sad that I can't fix it anymore! I have already submitted it but when proofreading today[which I should have done once more 20 hours ago]

A wise person told me this, though: you're not perfect so don't expect everything in your essay to be perfect. It reflects who you are as a human, not who you are as a control-freak trying to fix everything. Mistakes are fine as long as they don't destroy the whole thing.

But yeah, I would've preferred seeing those mistakes before I sent it : /

THANKS AGAIN! >:D

[frenchfraise]

Thanks! I just felt bad because of the words I omitted but I worked hard for that essay for 2 nights(cumulative of like, 8 HOURS) and yeah... nobody's perfect, I guess?