random thoughts
Dark hours pass slowly, as the heart slowly breaks..tears spring water rushes over cold stones freezes heart freezes crakes breaks pain unbearablr tears fall don't stop stop stop pain is unbearable running running away takes my mind offf the pain, but it is still there inside me memories replay in my head i stumble fall lay there breathing heavily afraid moaning in pain lost where am i surrounded by tall trees suffocated running running but getting no where no trail to guide my wandering mind falling off the face of earth eternal void falling falling falling no one to catch no one to sing to me all alone falling falling falling no bliss in this all alone and all afraid white walls surround me but no floor falling falling time is eternal mind spinning thinking remembering all the people i have seen their faces clear as pictures springing before my eyes, as the tears falling bluring the memories i fight to remember but in vain i give up why do i want to remember memories make me bleed pure blood red blood pain i do not want to remember falling falling through time through space all past hopes and wishes the perfect person the perfect life such coverups such lies falling falling pain incompasses solitude is unbearable but there is nothing to do when will this stop will it but i try to hold on to the happy memories birthday parties movies dancing the beauty of dance smooth and perfect and beautiful i never felt alone when i was dancing my body was perfect and graceful just me and the dance floor it was ok then i didn't need someone to tell me i was good i didn't care what they thought i could feel that beauty, touch perfection with my finger my feet heavy breaths long lines filling empty space and oh yes i can't forget you either red locks curly short engery the days spent just the two of us so young and innocent playing childhood games pondering the future and life those were the days of bliss when pain was simple and temporary and daydreams took our minds the future was something to play with not to fear oh no however long i fall i shall not forget you i owe my life and happiness to you if only i could see you again, if only i could change the past i miss you its been so long since i've seen you my life has changed and im sure yours has too where are you now i wish is could rise up up find you find some strength to be alive again i don't want to die life may be painful life may be fearful but i can take it there is at least oppurtunity in life things can't get worse can they i will find you again i can dance it may not be easy so i wouldn't be perfect but maybe i be happy one moment of happynesss just one second one second of friendship and love why didn't you love me all you saw in me was a †ool you wanted to use me to make yourself better look what you've done but you don't care you never did you almost never listened i felt sorry for you but you never felt sorry for me you didn't think my life was bad just becuase i didn't complain like you did i am not the same as you so we share blood what is that to mean our minds our different you never understood i was just a child to you never an equal always stupid and inferior i never felt like you really loved, thought i was just a hindrance to you except when you could use me but i still miss you you were a part of life a part of me and i love you even if you can't love me i love you and miss you and would give anything to see you again to talk to you maybe you would listen now maybe i would tell the truth all of the truth and maybe you would too no more lies no more fights just understandig too optomistic it will never happen no matter how hard i fight i am still falling falling f
a
l
l
i
n
g
a
l
l
i
n
g