Telling a Lie
Telling a Lie // Jonghyun x Jinki
fluff // pg
Jinki thinks about why he loves Jonghyun as much as he does. He wonders if he can lie about most of his feelings.
Something of a sequel to Words Should Be Illegal which had the prequel Pink Roses.
♥♥
Can I say you are everything and more than I could ever ask for? Can I say that even if it’s a lie? I mean, you are obviously lacking in almost every department I can think of. Looks? You have pretty cheekbones but I’ve seen more pronounced facial structures. You have wide, expressive eyes, I’ll give you that, but they’re hard to focus on when your nose takes up a good portion of your face. Brains? Please. Don’t even get me started. You -- Oh god I can’t even say it without laughing. Let’s just say you placing Old English books in our bookcase doesn’t mean you’re some kind of intelligent scholar. Especially when they’re collecting dust. And Personality? I swear if you tell me to make you a sandwich when you’re sitting on the couch switching between various music programs one more time I will stab you with the butcher knife you try to hide from me because last time I checked you had two legs and two arms and you were more than capable of making your own sandwich. Unknowingly assigning me obsolete from the prairie days feminine roles will not get the clear, sweetheart. But you know I love you flaws and all because I have them as well and everything that’s wrong with you makes the you who I fell in love with and I can’t ask for anyone better because then I wouldn’t be happy.
You can still bring me flowers though. I like flowers. Red roses remember? I still have the one you gave me on our first date pressed in a scrapbook. I’ll never forget how you asked me to walk around the park with you at night and I thought you were horribly cheesy but cute and you had the sweatiest palms I’ve ever felt and I tripped over air and brought you down with me but it was alright because you laughed and then I laughed and it was nice.
Can I say I love you more than you love me? Can I say it even if that’s a lie too? I mean, it’s not that I don’t love you because I love you more than you could ever imagine. My love is unmeasurable and measurable at the same time because I know my love for you isn’t as strong as your love for me. Did you know that I envy you because I can’t put as much passion into anything as much as you can. I know you get up in the morning and leap to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine for when I can finally drag myself out of bed before taking a cereal bar and disappearing into your office where you sing to the computer screen as you type out your next manuscript with an amazing fury because I’ve never gotten a call from your editor or your agent and I have to pick the lock of the door just to bring you dinner nine hours later. No matter how many firms I switch to I can never find one that makes me want to go all out each and every day even though I love what I do. Maybe it’s impossible for me to be an accountant. Can I spend my days as a house-husband watching you as you work? I can make you soothing cups of tea, massage your back, just give you company. I promise I won’t make a sound and you spent months creeping on me from a flower stand so I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to do the same to you for a few hours. We do sleep in the same bed. That fact alone allows me to stalk you throughout the day as much as I damn well please so I don’t know why I’m asking you in the first place.
Oh, god, do you remember our second anniversary and you asked if we could celebrate by bungee jumping hand in hand? I tied a jump rope to your foot and told you to jump from the roof of our apartment building. Just to prepare for the real thing. And you immediately changed your mind. I guess we both have problems with asking stupid questions. Mine are less stupid than yours but your questions are always spontaneous and unpredictable and I would never want you to stop asking me the first thing that pops into your mind. But can you please stop asking me if we can climb the Pyrenees mountains some time? Do you have Pyrenees mountain climbing money? Do you want to die? I’m pretty sure you don’t. Would you like to scale the side of Seoul Tower for practice? I can wait at the bottom with an ambulance. We can re-live our second anniversary. Happy times.
But all sarcasm aside, please do not ask me again because it’s questions like that, that have my breath catching and my heart stopping in fear. None of that is romantic to me. I don’t need to whisked off my feet by you. All I want is to able to come home to you and be greeted with a hug. All I want is to be able to curl up next to you on the couch, my head on your chest and your arm tossed lazily around my shoulders. All I want is to be able to wake up next to you in the morning, press a kiss to the side of your lips, and have you smile at me, content, happy, and completely in love. I don’t need anything else, I don’t want anything else because trying to win me over when you already have me is stupid and for all you know doing something outrageous could take you from me or me from you and either way I’d die. Emotionally, physically, they’re both the same to me and just thinking about what could go wrong bungee jumping or mountaineering has me crying tears of pain as if every person I care for was murdered in cold blood before me. Jonghyun you can’t do this to me.
Can I say I want a divorce even if we aren’t legally married? Will it hurt you if I say that isn’t a lie. I suppose it will so I guess you’re in luck because it is. I can say something along the lines of how I don’t need to be married because marriage is irrelevant to me which is true but I know how much it means to you. I’m proud to wear the ring you bought me and I see the way your eyes glitter when you look at your ring finger but personally I don’t need vows or a ring or a marriage certificate to inform the world of my love for you because the world should be able to see it in the way I look at you, in the way I try to hold your hand at every chance I get, in the way I don’t care about anything else when you’re around. And thinking about it, I don’t think the world should be allowed to see how strong our love for each other is with or without a real marriage backing it because such a dirty place shouldn’t be exposed to a sight so pure with feeling.
Do you remember when we drove across the country so you could meet my parents? We stopped at a gas station because you needed to get gas and I wanted a chocolate bar and the girl at the counter had the audacity to glare at us when you kissed me on the cheek? She is a great example of someone who shouldn’t be witness of any two people who are purely in love. I wish I corrected her vision before we left because I felt as if I had to wash off her own dirt and germs from my body. But we’re better than that and everyone who doesn’t understand is jealous of how they will never experience a love like ours.
( “S-Stop, you idiot!” Jinki yells, unable to hold in his laughter as he shields his face from the incoming water.
Jonghyun chooses to ignore his husband and pushes his hand through the dish water again, splashing Jinki against his wishes with a smile. They were supposed to be washing dishes together, Jinki doing the actual washing and Jonghyun drying but it wasn’t working out so well.
“Stop!” Using an already cleaned plate Jinki covers his face again. After a few seconds of not feeling the pressure of water hitting the plate he lowers it. He’s met with a smirking Jonghyun and a wave of water coming towards his face. Jinki sets the plate down on the counter and glares at his husband.
Jonghyun laughs. “You should know better than to let your guard down aro --
And all of a sudden Jonghyun’s on the floor with Jinki sitting on his lower stomach, a satisfied grin on his face.
“I could say the same to you. Jerkface.” Jinki says and pokes Jonghyun in the chest.
In turn, Jonghyun pokes Jinki’s thigh, chuckling lightly. “Then I guess we're even. Fatty.” )
Yeah. They’ll never love another like I love you.
♥FIN♥
AN:
Result of getting over a month of writer's block :(
Not sure if I like it as much as the others.
fluff // pg
Jinki thinks about why he loves Jonghyun as much as he does. He wonders if he can lie about most of his feelings.
Something of a sequel to Words Should Be Illegal which had the prequel Pink Roses.
♥♥
Can I say you are everything and more than I could ever ask for? Can I say that even if it’s a lie? I mean, you are obviously lacking in almost every department I can think of. Looks? You have pretty cheekbones but I’ve seen more pronounced facial structures. You have wide, expressive eyes, I’ll give you that, but they’re hard to focus on when your nose takes up a good portion of your face. Brains? Please. Don’t even get me started. You -- Oh god I can’t even say it without laughing. Let’s just say you placing Old English books in our bookcase doesn’t mean you’re some kind of intelligent scholar. Especially when they’re collecting dust. And Personality? I swear if you tell me to make you a sandwich when you’re sitting on the couch switching between various music programs one more time I will stab you with the butcher knife you try to hide from me because last time I checked you had two legs and two arms and you were more than capable of making your own sandwich. Unknowingly assigning me obsolete from the prairie days feminine roles will not get the clear, sweetheart. But you know I love you flaws and all because I have them as well and everything that’s wrong with you makes the you who I fell in love with and I can’t ask for anyone better because then I wouldn’t be happy.
You can still bring me flowers though. I like flowers. Red roses remember? I still have the one you gave me on our first date pressed in a scrapbook. I’ll never forget how you asked me to walk around the park with you at night and I thought you were horribly cheesy but cute and you had the sweatiest palms I’ve ever felt and I tripped over air and brought you down with me but it was alright because you laughed and then I laughed and it was nice.
Can I say I love you more than you love me? Can I say it even if that’s a lie too? I mean, it’s not that I don’t love you because I love you more than you could ever imagine. My love is unmeasurable and measurable at the same time because I know my love for you isn’t as strong as your love for me. Did you know that I envy you because I can’t put as much passion into anything as much as you can. I know you get up in the morning and leap to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine for when I can finally drag myself out of bed before taking a cereal bar and disappearing into your office where you sing to the computer screen as you type out your next manuscript with an amazing fury because I’ve never gotten a call from your editor or your agent and I have to pick the lock of the door just to bring you dinner nine hours later. No matter how many firms I switch to I can never find one that makes me want to go all out each and every day even though I love what I do. Maybe it’s impossible for me to be an accountant. Can I spend my days as a house-husband watching you as you work? I can make you soothing cups of tea, massage your back, just give you company. I promise I won’t make a sound and you spent months creeping on me from a flower stand so I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to do the same to you for a few hours. We do sleep in the same bed. That fact alone allows me to stalk you throughout the day as much as I damn well please so I don’t know why I’m asking you in the first place.
Oh, god, do you remember our second anniversary and you asked if we could celebrate by bungee jumping hand in hand? I tied a jump rope to your foot and told you to jump from the roof of our apartment building. Just to prepare for the real thing. And you immediately changed your mind. I guess we both have problems with asking stupid questions. Mine are less stupid than yours but your questions are always spontaneous and unpredictable and I would never want you to stop asking me the first thing that pops into your mind. But can you please stop asking me if we can climb the Pyrenees mountains some time? Do you have Pyrenees mountain climbing money? Do you want to die? I’m pretty sure you don’t. Would you like to scale the side of Seoul Tower for practice? I can wait at the bottom with an ambulance. We can re-live our second anniversary. Happy times.
But all sarcasm aside, please do not ask me again because it’s questions like that, that have my breath catching and my heart stopping in fear. None of that is romantic to me. I don’t need to whisked off my feet by you. All I want is to able to come home to you and be greeted with a hug. All I want is to be able to curl up next to you on the couch, my head on your chest and your arm tossed lazily around my shoulders. All I want is to be able to wake up next to you in the morning, press a kiss to the side of your lips, and have you smile at me, content, happy, and completely in love. I don’t need anything else, I don’t want anything else because trying to win me over when you already have me is stupid and for all you know doing something outrageous could take you from me or me from you and either way I’d die. Emotionally, physically, they’re both the same to me and just thinking about what could go wrong bungee jumping or mountaineering has me crying tears of pain as if every person I care for was murdered in cold blood before me. Jonghyun you can’t do this to me.
Can I say I want a divorce even if we aren’t legally married? Will it hurt you if I say that isn’t a lie. I suppose it will so I guess you’re in luck because it is. I can say something along the lines of how I don’t need to be married because marriage is irrelevant to me which is true but I know how much it means to you. I’m proud to wear the ring you bought me and I see the way your eyes glitter when you look at your ring finger but personally I don’t need vows or a ring or a marriage certificate to inform the world of my love for you because the world should be able to see it in the way I look at you, in the way I try to hold your hand at every chance I get, in the way I don’t care about anything else when you’re around. And thinking about it, I don’t think the world should be allowed to see how strong our love for each other is with or without a real marriage backing it because such a dirty place shouldn’t be exposed to a sight so pure with feeling.
Do you remember when we drove across the country so you could meet my parents? We stopped at a gas station because you needed to get gas and I wanted a chocolate bar and the girl at the counter had the audacity to glare at us when you kissed me on the cheek? She is a great example of someone who shouldn’t be witness of any two people who are purely in love. I wish I corrected her vision before we left because I felt as if I had to wash off her own dirt and germs from my body. But we’re better than that and everyone who doesn’t understand is jealous of how they will never experience a love like ours.
( “S-Stop, you idiot!” Jinki yells, unable to hold in his laughter as he shields his face from the incoming water.
Jonghyun chooses to ignore his husband and pushes his hand through the dish water again, splashing Jinki against his wishes with a smile. They were supposed to be washing dishes together, Jinki doing the actual washing and Jonghyun drying but it wasn’t working out so well.
“Stop!” Using an already cleaned plate Jinki covers his face again. After a few seconds of not feeling the pressure of water hitting the plate he lowers it. He’s met with a smirking Jonghyun and a wave of water coming towards his face. Jinki sets the plate down on the counter and glares at his husband.
Jonghyun laughs. “You should know better than to let your guard down aro --
And all of a sudden Jonghyun’s on the floor with Jinki sitting on his lower stomach, a satisfied grin on his face.
“I could say the same to you. Jerkface.” Jinki says and pokes Jonghyun in the chest.
In turn, Jonghyun pokes Jinki’s thigh, chuckling lightly. “Then I guess we're even. Fatty.” )
Yeah. They’ll never love another like I love you.
♥FIN♥
AN:
Result of getting over a month of writer's block :(
Not sure if I like it as much as the others.