Oh, I LOVED this! My favourite has got to be the third part, with the peck on the cheek. *grins happily*
I really like the mood you set for the whole thing. It's very dark but also very light (contradictory... lol) with the fluffy-ness of Ian and the angst-y Anthony. The pacing was great and it was all very romantic. :)
And like Michael said, the spacing after commas would help space things out. Otherwise, I'm very impressed seeing as English is your second language. If you told me to write something in Japanese or Chinese, I would FAIL, impressively.
Oh my god I giggled like an idiot when I read you comment because you're one of the most talented writers in this community and that YOU read MY story, just made my day.<3
Thank you for the constructive critic I'm going to pay attention to the commas next time, I promise! Haha, I would fail immensely as well, especially if I had to write something in French.
Anyway, I'm extraordinarily lucky that you liked it.:)
Aw man... *blushes* I don't deserve those compliments!! XD
I read this a few times and (one thing I forgot to tell you before) aw geez, the last sentence of every part gets me every time. It's like.. *ugh* you want to smack Ian on the head and say, "DON'T YOU GET IT? Anthony loves you!" Real inspiring and clever.
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I really like the mood you set for the whole thing. It's very dark but also very light (contradictory... lol) with the fluffy-ness of Ian and the angst-y Anthony. The pacing was great and it was all very romantic. :)
And like Michael said, the spacing after commas would help space things out. Otherwise, I'm very impressed seeing as English is your second language. If you told me to write something in Japanese or Chinese, I would FAIL, impressively.
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Thank you for the constructive critic I'm going to pay attention to the commas next time, I promise! Haha, I would fail immensely as well, especially if I had to write something in French.
Anyway, I'm extraordinarily lucky that you liked it.:)
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I read this a few times and (one thing I forgot to tell you before) aw geez, the last sentence of every part gets me every time. It's like.. *ugh* you want to smack Ian on the head and say, "DON'T YOU GET IT? Anthony loves you!" Real inspiring and clever.
Reply
Haha,that is the way I wanted you to react and I'm very glad,it worked.Thank you very much :)
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