Who says you can't buy happiness? Mine cost $2.88 at the drugstore.

[freyalorelei]

After a long, slow, miserable decline, which culminated in dropping a college course I was failing and deliberately driving my car into a telephone pole just so that I could feel something (twice!), I went to the doctor and begged her to give me SOMETHING to help me get through this facepunch of a year

Comments

[gunblade_girl]

I am so sorry you've been growing this this. :( I know where you're coming from. In high school my anxiety was so high that I would have daily panic attacks daily, then my social phobia progressed to where I couldn't leave the house alone. It's pretty much hell.

I really hope this new med works for you!

[tilly_stratford]

Aw man, that sucks :( Good luck with the new medication though, I was on Citalopram for years and it was basically the only antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication that didn't give me major side effects, so I hope it works for you too!

[freyalorelei]

I had some pretty significant sedation the first evening...not as severe as on the Seroquel, but it knocked me pretty well for a loop. Because of this, I've decided to take it strictly at night. So far today I haven't had any depression or anxiety at all, and while the meds apparently take two weeks to build up in my system, I'm cautiously optimistic. This is the first time in literally MONTHS that I've had a day completely free of depression or anxiety...I don't think I've felt this consistently "stable" since my boyfriend left for the Army, or at least since my grandfather passed.

[piplup]

Sorry if this comment is unwanted - I found your journal through stupidpetowners, when you shared your story about your bunny.
Anyway, I feel your pain. It's not as bad for me now that I'm on different medication, but there were times in my life where I would suffer multiple, full-blown, skin burning, hyperventilation, sweating, heart palpitations, dizziness.. I'm sure you are very familiar with the ones I mean. I would have them constantly. They would roll one into the other, never stopping. I couldn't function. I would shake and cry and panic and the only thing that could stop me was heavy sedation through ativan or valium.
I've been pretty stable for about 4 years now. I really hope you find something that works for you, you have my heartfelt sympathies. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need someone to talk to.

[freyalorelei]

Sorry that it's taken me so long to respond--I have VERY shaky internet access, and am not on LJ as often as I used to be.

I'm doing a LOT better, although I still have no television, internet, car, or phone. I'm basically living in the Dark Ages. :\ However, I'm also recently engaged to the most wonderful human being on the planet, and he's been invaluable in my mental healing. We're getting married some time this September. :) The Celexa's been working beautifully, and since I started it in December, I've gone down from daily panic attacks to maybe a half-dozen, total, in four months. They haven't disappeared, but they've DRASTICALLY reduced, and I'm pretty sure they'll disappear altogether once we're living on base and I'm away from my stress-inducing narcissistic mother.

Thanks for your concern. :)