Yesterday ROCKED
Hey all :)
First off, thank you to all of you who told me Happy Birthday- you guys rock! Check out the awesome AROK fic that otherdeb wrote for my b-day. Thank you so much, girl!! You guys have to read it, it's just too sweet.
Prompt #Bonus 1
Title: Missed Chances
Fandom: BSB RPS
Pairing: Brian Littrell/AJ McLean
Word Count: 629
Rating: R for language
Author’s Note: While not part of the challenge proper, and not my claimed pairing, this little ficlet is a birthday present for fricky_writer22. Happy Birthday, Sweetie.
Coming back from rehab was hard. It’s not that the guys didn’t trust me; Hell, I didn’t trust me. It’s just that I had fucked up *so* damned much that I couldn’t see as I’d ever complete making amends. Well, that wasn’t all of it, of course, but it was a fair part.
Then there was the part I still could barely acknowledge to myself, let alone the other person involved. Especially since he had no idea. But, yeah, he was there for me all the time, in my head, anyway. Thinking of him was what helped me ask for help, and what I held onto while I was in rehab.
What I really wasn’t prepared for was opening my bus door and finding him outside. Or his asking if he could ride with me to the next venue. Still, I let him in, and got him a glass of lemonade. I always have lemonade on hand. There is a theory that alcoholics have a sugar imbalance of some kind, and you could certainly use me to prove that point. When cravings hit, I would hit the lemonade, or something equally sugared. Fortunately, my business insures I expend enough calories that I don’t bloat or gain weight from it.
We sat around talking for a bit: the tour, rehab, family stuff. Eventually, the small talk ran out.
“Bri, and I talk to you seriously for a bit?”
“Of course.”
“You know how I’m supposed to make amends and tell the truth?”
“Yeah.” Of course he did. All the guys had become familiar with my program, even though I was the one who had to work it to stay sober.
“So, I’m sorry for being such a dick to you for so long.” He nodded, but said nothing. “And I have a confession to make, Rok.”
“Hold on, now, J. I’m no preacher man.”
“Yeah, but you need to hear this.” He looked at me. “I figured out in rehab that one of the reasons I was getting so crazy was because there was some stuff I didn’t wanna face up to.” I took a breath. “Like wanting to be with you.”
“You are with me, J.”
“No, I mean, wanting to *be* with you.” It took a few moments, but I could see the light begin to dawn. I waited to hear what he would say next.
“Damn, J. I am so flattered, and if I was gay or bi, or whatever you call it, you can bet I would be right there with you.”
“Yeah, it’s okay, Rok. I understand.” I did understand, too. Brian was even straighter than Kevin. And he was married and a father-to-be. Being with me would destroy his whole world, or - at least - the parts that mattered most to him.
“I wish I had known before I met Leighanne. I could’ve at least not rejected it out of hand. You were so damned gorgeous, J.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “You still are.”
“Look, Bri, I don’t want to mess with your head or your life. I know how much you want what you do have.” I sighed. “But I gotta tell the truth, and how I feel is part of my truth. You don’t have to do anything about it.”
“Yeah, J. I know that. And I love you just as much as I always have. That doesn’t change - never will. I just wish I had known when we could have at least tried to make it work.” He hugged me close.
I wrapped my arms around him, and we sat like that for a while; each of us wondering what things would have been like if either of us had had the courage to talk to the other sooner.
And check out the kick ass icons babykid528 had her friend make me...love 'em!!
^ Oh yeah baby, Rok loves meeee, lol.
^ He so does.
^ *giggles* AROK love baby!!
Okay so now for the details of my day. I <3 the hubby, he got me a kick ass gift this year. I had made an off-hand comment about how I would love to have an mp3 player, not thinking I would actually get one. But I did! The hubby got me a phillips player and it holds up to 240 songs and I am soo in love with it. I'm jamming to it right now!! So yeah, he did GOOD this year. *giggles*
So at about 2 me, the hubby, my mother-in-law (father-in-law had to work), my mom, dad, and little sister all go out to eat at my favorite restaurant, Red Lobster. The food was fantastic and we were all having a good time, my sister picking on me about being "so old" and all that, lol. So, if you've ever been to the restaurant you know that when it's someone's birthday they give you either some icecream sundae with a candle or a piece of cake with a candle...and they SING to you. Well, last year they said they didn't do that anymore. So I thought I was in the clear. Oh no. Not five minutes before we were all ready to leave, just waiting on the check, someone else obvisouly had a birthday cause they all come out singing to the person and everything. I'm like " Oh shit"- my sister laughs and procedes to tell our waitress that it's my birthday...and I'm 60, smartass. Anywho, I'm giving her an evil glare and plotting my revenge at this point. You don't understand, I get SO embarassed when they do this, I get all red in the face and just want to crawl under the table, LOL. Anywho, a few minutes late out comes about 6 people, one carrying an ice cream sundae with a candle. My siter and husband are loving it, I am trying me best to hide my face. So they start singing "Happy Birthday" REALLY LOUD, and this one dude is wolf whistling and all this crap and oh my God...I just wanted to dissapear. They were a LOT louder for mine than the other person's...I'm not just saying that because I was embarassed as all hell, all of my family said it. My sister is soo getting payed back *starts plotting*.
Then my parents and sister have to leave so I get my gifts (some CUTE clothes...I mean adorable silky skirt with sequins (maroon) and a maroon shirt that is just freaking cute and some things for my guest bedroom that I am trying to fix up all prettyful). Then the hubby and I go over to my in-laws house. My mother-in-law is the best, I love her to death, she made my FAVORITE cake...red velvet, yuuuummy. Got some gifts from her...more clothes and a mixer which I needed something fierce, haha. We stayed there for a while, just having fun and I just adore than woman <333.
By this time it's pretty late and I am soo tired, damn I'm getting old or something, Haha. I get a call from my older brother and the first words out of his mouth were "Happy Birthday,old ass" LOL- guess that's what I get for calling him an "old man" since he turned 30- ahhh gotta loving siblings. I get calls from my cousin, my grandma, my uncle and a few other people. It was so nice to hear from all of them- it was a great day.
Then my friend Bethers, who live in WA, calls me to wish me a happy birthday and lets me know I will be getting a CC (concert call) later than night when the Boys are on stage *giggles*. I really, really wanted to be there but I couldn't because of money being tight :( Anywho, I get a call at about 11:30 and all I head is "Baby here I am...banging on your front door. My pride spilled on the floor. I was running from the truth now I'm crawling back to you" *SQUEES* OMG they sounded amazing!! I could hear them soo well, like I was the there. I was giggling and singing along, oh man...it was awesome. So I got a BSB serenade for my birthday, LOL. Dude, I was soo happy. She's the bestest!!
So, that was my day. I'm STILL plotting my sister's payback...if you have any ideas, pass them my way. She is soo getting it, LOL.
Thanks again for all the "happy birthday"'s and the awesome fic and the icon...and the icon some are making and that they found and sent me. You guys rock and helped make my birhday even better.
I'm out for now. Gotta make a run to the grocery store so I can have something to cook the hubby for dinner this week :) I'll probably be back online later, I have a slight cold (yuck), but the meds I took are seeming to work well, so I should be on :)
Mandy~
First off, thank you to all of you who told me Happy Birthday- you guys rock! Check out the awesome AROK fic that otherdeb wrote for my b-day. Thank you so much, girl!! You guys have to read it, it's just too sweet.
Prompt #Bonus 1
Title: Missed Chances
Fandom: BSB RPS
Pairing: Brian Littrell/AJ McLean
Word Count: 629
Rating: R for language
Author’s Note: While not part of the challenge proper, and not my claimed pairing, this little ficlet is a birthday present for fricky_writer22. Happy Birthday, Sweetie.
Coming back from rehab was hard. It’s not that the guys didn’t trust me; Hell, I didn’t trust me. It’s just that I had fucked up *so* damned much that I couldn’t see as I’d ever complete making amends. Well, that wasn’t all of it, of course, but it was a fair part.
Then there was the part I still could barely acknowledge to myself, let alone the other person involved. Especially since he had no idea. But, yeah, he was there for me all the time, in my head, anyway. Thinking of him was what helped me ask for help, and what I held onto while I was in rehab.
What I really wasn’t prepared for was opening my bus door and finding him outside. Or his asking if he could ride with me to the next venue. Still, I let him in, and got him a glass of lemonade. I always have lemonade on hand. There is a theory that alcoholics have a sugar imbalance of some kind, and you could certainly use me to prove that point. When cravings hit, I would hit the lemonade, or something equally sugared. Fortunately, my business insures I expend enough calories that I don’t bloat or gain weight from it.
We sat around talking for a bit: the tour, rehab, family stuff. Eventually, the small talk ran out.
“Bri, and I talk to you seriously for a bit?”
“Of course.”
“You know how I’m supposed to make amends and tell the truth?”
“Yeah.” Of course he did. All the guys had become familiar with my program, even though I was the one who had to work it to stay sober.
“So, I’m sorry for being such a dick to you for so long.” He nodded, but said nothing. “And I have a confession to make, Rok.”
“Hold on, now, J. I’m no preacher man.”
“Yeah, but you need to hear this.” He looked at me. “I figured out in rehab that one of the reasons I was getting so crazy was because there was some stuff I didn’t wanna face up to.” I took a breath. “Like wanting to be with you.”
“You are with me, J.”
“No, I mean, wanting to *be* with you.” It took a few moments, but I could see the light begin to dawn. I waited to hear what he would say next.
“Damn, J. I am so flattered, and if I was gay or bi, or whatever you call it, you can bet I would be right there with you.”
“Yeah, it’s okay, Rok. I understand.” I did understand, too. Brian was even straighter than Kevin. And he was married and a father-to-be. Being with me would destroy his whole world, or - at least - the parts that mattered most to him.
“I wish I had known before I met Leighanne. I could’ve at least not rejected it out of hand. You were so damned gorgeous, J.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “You still are.”
“Look, Bri, I don’t want to mess with your head or your life. I know how much you want what you do have.” I sighed. “But I gotta tell the truth, and how I feel is part of my truth. You don’t have to do anything about it.”
“Yeah, J. I know that. And I love you just as much as I always have. That doesn’t change - never will. I just wish I had known when we could have at least tried to make it work.” He hugged me close.
I wrapped my arms around him, and we sat like that for a while; each of us wondering what things would have been like if either of us had had the courage to talk to the other sooner.
And check out the kick ass icons babykid528 had her friend make me...love 'em!!
^ Oh yeah baby, Rok loves meeee, lol.
^ He so does.
^ *giggles* AROK love baby!!
Okay so now for the details of my day. I <3 the hubby, he got me a kick ass gift this year. I had made an off-hand comment about how I would love to have an mp3 player, not thinking I would actually get one. But I did! The hubby got me a phillips player and it holds up to 240 songs and I am soo in love with it. I'm jamming to it right now!! So yeah, he did GOOD this year. *giggles*
So at about 2 me, the hubby, my mother-in-law (father-in-law had to work), my mom, dad, and little sister all go out to eat at my favorite restaurant, Red Lobster. The food was fantastic and we were all having a good time, my sister picking on me about being "so old" and all that, lol. So, if you've ever been to the restaurant you know that when it's someone's birthday they give you either some icecream sundae with a candle or a piece of cake with a candle...and they SING to you. Well, last year they said they didn't do that anymore. So I thought I was in the clear. Oh no. Not five minutes before we were all ready to leave, just waiting on the check, someone else obvisouly had a birthday cause they all come out singing to the person and everything. I'm like " Oh shit"- my sister laughs and procedes to tell our waitress that it's my birthday...and I'm 60, smartass. Anywho, I'm giving her an evil glare and plotting my revenge at this point. You don't understand, I get SO embarassed when they do this, I get all red in the face and just want to crawl under the table, LOL. Anywho, a few minutes late out comes about 6 people, one carrying an ice cream sundae with a candle. My siter and husband are loving it, I am trying me best to hide my face. So they start singing "Happy Birthday" REALLY LOUD, and this one dude is wolf whistling and all this crap and oh my God...I just wanted to dissapear. They were a LOT louder for mine than the other person's...I'm not just saying that because I was embarassed as all hell, all of my family said it. My sister is soo getting payed back *starts plotting*.
Then my parents and sister have to leave so I get my gifts (some CUTE clothes...I mean adorable silky skirt with sequins (maroon) and a maroon shirt that is just freaking cute and some things for my guest bedroom that I am trying to fix up all prettyful). Then the hubby and I go over to my in-laws house. My mother-in-law is the best, I love her to death, she made my FAVORITE cake...red velvet, yuuuummy. Got some gifts from her...more clothes and a mixer which I needed something fierce, haha. We stayed there for a while, just having fun and I just adore than woman <333.
By this time it's pretty late and I am soo tired, damn I'm getting old or something, Haha. I get a call from my older brother and the first words out of his mouth were "Happy Birthday,old ass" LOL- guess that's what I get for calling him an "old man" since he turned 30- ahhh gotta loving siblings. I get calls from my cousin, my grandma, my uncle and a few other people. It was so nice to hear from all of them- it was a great day.
Then my friend Bethers, who live in WA, calls me to wish me a happy birthday and lets me know I will be getting a CC (concert call) later than night when the Boys are on stage *giggles*. I really, really wanted to be there but I couldn't because of money being tight :( Anywho, I get a call at about 11:30 and all I head is "Baby here I am...banging on your front door. My pride spilled on the floor. I was running from the truth now I'm crawling back to you" *SQUEES* OMG they sounded amazing!! I could hear them soo well, like I was the there. I was giggling and singing along, oh man...it was awesome. So I got a BSB serenade for my birthday, LOL. Dude, I was soo happy. She's the bestest!!
So, that was my day. I'm STILL plotting my sister's payback...if you have any ideas, pass them my way. She is soo getting it, LOL.
Thanks again for all the "happy birthday"'s and the awesome fic and the icon...and the icon some are making and that they found and sent me. You guys rock and helped make my birhday even better.
I'm out for now. Gotta make a run to the grocery store so I can have something to cook the hubby for dinner this week :) I'll probably be back online later, I have a slight cold (yuck), but the meds I took are seeming to work well, so I should be on :)
Mandy~