(no subject)
got this in an email from alyssa...made me laugh...i would love to see someone try a couple of these
32 THINGS TO DO ON AN EXAM WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL IT
ANYWAYS!
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the
secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your
answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,
yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking
about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every
question. For example: I refuse to answer this
question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of
relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have
to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small
pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry
Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say
you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15
min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head,
and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as
vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she's not looking. Blame it
on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat,
continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start
commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream
out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor
that whether or not everyone's done, they are all
leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during
the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how good the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a
white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom
of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you
could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers
into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own
life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray
to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,
anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes
into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat
if necessary.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the
instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been
to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are
you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one
up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers
completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell
him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that
goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the
instructor's requests for you to stop. When they
finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to
the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question,
ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. Cross dress.
32. Make origami animals out of your test.