I'm glad that my closest friends don't know I have this journal. stupidly my lover does although i'm not sure if she even reads it anymore
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You're not a bitch darling. Well, usually. Even during the times (or maybe even just time) I was very angry with you, I never seriously considered you a bitch. But I don't think your feelings are unusual... I go out and sleep with someone, and all I have a craving to do after is go home and wrap myself around M. I'm just lucky to have found myself a relationship that can handle and in fact encourages the things I can't help about myself. If you feel good about what you're doing and it doesn't hurt your lover, it's not bitchy at all.
That was my point which may have come out wrong- I've never considered you a bitch on any terms, even when I was upset with you, which was before we stopped talking. You didn't do anything, as far as I can recall. Around the time we stopped talking, between my job and home and my love life, I didn't have the strength to emotionally support anyone but me, and even that was failing half the time, and I was cutting EVERYONE out of my life who needed any type of support or was causing me any stress whatsoever, and I continued doing that up until I moved. And darling, I hope you know I love you, but 3 am phone calls with you crying 4 days a week were not helping. I'm ready and willing to admit that makes me the bitch, but it's the past and I can't change it even if I thought there was a better way to deal with things.
funny thing is I don't remember it. I don't blame you. I too did that a couple of years back cut out pretty much everyone as I just couldn't cope with anything but me which was just struggling to get by, I do understand. *hugs*
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But I don't think your feelings are unusual... I go out and sleep with someone, and all I have a craving to do after is go home and wrap myself around M. I'm just lucky to have found myself a relationship that can handle and in fact encourages the things I can't help about myself. If you feel good about what you're doing and it doesn't hurt your lover, it's not bitchy at all.
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You didn't do anything, as far as I can recall. Around the time we stopped talking, between my job and home and my love life, I didn't have the strength to emotionally support anyone but me, and even that was failing half the time, and I was cutting EVERYONE out of my life who needed any type of support or was causing me any stress whatsoever, and I continued doing that up until I moved. And darling, I hope you know I love you, but 3 am phone calls with you crying 4 days a week were not helping. I'm ready and willing to admit that makes me the bitch, but it's the past and I can't change it even if I thought there was a better way to deal with things.
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