hey all...this is an essay that i have to write for the application for the LEAD Scholars program in UCF. let me know what you think of it. Whatever it is...please tell me!! I would really appreciate it
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hehe... this is sooooooo TOK. :) your essay is really good, you have lots of examples and lots of support. nice job!! plus its unique cuz i'm sure not alot of people think about art as a leader.
just one thing though, you need to change this sentence: The perception and feeling that an artist wants to evoke in their audience or how the artist wants to sway the audience is something the artists have control over because they choose the material for the work of art. its too long and is kinda confusing.
perhaps maybe instead: Artists control the feelings and ideas of their art through choosing the material that most effectively conveys the subject matter.
well, thats just a suggestion. i dunno just make it more concise, in my opinion.
other than that its awesome!! good stuff good stuff :) <333333
You read me like a book baby!! lol! This is actually a part of my TOK essay altered a little...lol! Anyway, thanks for reading the entire thing and for the suggestion. mwa.. lori
LoL...i thought it sounded like TOK material lol It's good, and sounds very intellectual to boot WAY TO GO!! :-) O and about ur previous entry, I'm happy for you, that you liked it there, and that you're excited...I'm sure you'll try hard and succeed in whatever you do :-D ur sonny, ChRiS
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just one thing though, you need to change this sentence:
The perception and feeling that an artist wants to evoke in their audience or how the artist wants to sway the audience is something the artists have control over because they choose the material for the work of art.
its too long and is kinda confusing.
perhaps maybe instead:
Artists control the feelings and ideas of their art through choosing the material that most effectively conveys the subject matter.
well, thats just a suggestion. i dunno just make it more concise, in my opinion.
other than that its awesome!! good stuff good stuff :) <333333
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lori
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:-D
ur sonny,
ChRiS
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