Let's Play Galaxy Angel, Chapter 1, Part 1: No, You May Not Just Go Home
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When we last left our hero, Commander Derpcase Tact Mayers, he was either contemplating the complicated political situation in the Transbaal Empire or slacking off. We're not entirely sure how much of it was one and how much was the other. It doesn't matter right now anyway, because Tact's habit of tempting fate has to show some consequences some time.
Like now.
Suddenly, Tact's fleet (if you can call three ships that can barely do anything a fleet) picks something up on radar. They can't contact HQ and trying to call the nearest inhabited planet doesn't work either. The coup is making communication a mess. There's nothing to do but... well, provide some much-needed exposition. I swear, half of this introduction has been exposition, even without that text-dump I sped past last chapter. Either way, we need it, so it's a good thing!
So. The guy behind the coup is the prince, Eonia, who was disowned and exiled five years ago for some reason, probably for being the kind of guy who would come in out of nowhere with an army of black ships and bomb his own planet for no good reason. Lester can't even believe that Eonia is still alive, much less overthrowing the Empire, but Tact is less surprised, stating that humans can survive anywhere. The only thing he's worried about is how he got anyone to help him. Before they can say anything else, an alarm goes off.
This is the first of many similar screens that we'll be seeing throughout the game. Remember how I said that this game is half visual novel, half real-time strategy? These screens are what usually signify the switch from the former to the latter. It gives us a layout of the battlefield, while Tact and the bridge crew plan how to win against the enemy that's just shown up. Sometimes these plans are pretty decent and we'll go with them. Other times, they just make things harder than they need to be and we can scrap them.
Green and greenish units belong to us, purples and reds to enemies, orange are neutral, and yellow usually signifies NPCs you have to keep alive and will generally fail at. In later chapters, you will see firsthand my disdain for escort missions, but that's not important right now. Let's look at the map.
Today, we happen to be facing down ten ships -- or rather, three unknown fighters being chased by seven ships. On our side, we have a Barmell and two Spards. All you need to know about Barmells and Spards is that they both suck. Never let them do anything.
Which means that the battle ahead, as it is, is nothing short of suicidal.
Not having any better ideas, Tact decides to order his patrol to fight instead of sit around doing nothing. None of the crew have had any actual combat experience, though, and it's obvious that they would all be nervous even if the situation weren't obviously unwinnable. Tact himself isn't too confident, either, but he offers some encouraging words to the crew.
Really encouraging.
Tact and company still can't think of any ideas that won't get them killed. The fighters alone look like they could take out the patrol. But then, we get a visual of the ships on the main monitor... which means another video you'll have to imagine is here! Man, I wish YouTube hadn't taken down all the cinematics from this game. That would make my job so much easier. Anyway, all you need to see here is this.
TITLE DROP
Lester and Tact both think they've seen that insignia before! We have, too, of course, but obviously neither of them has seen the main menu or the chapter intro screen. While they're trying to think of it, they receive an emergency distress call... from the three fighters approaching them. Tact figures that the only thing to do is to put them through. Is it some mistake? Is it actually a call to surrender?
No, it's... a sudden BGM change.
Lead Haremette: Milfeulle "Milfie" Sakuraba
All the luck, none of the brain cells.
THAT is on the other line.
Tact: Yes...?
Milfeulle: If I'm not mistaken, isn't this the fleet stationed in the Criom system?
Tact: If you're not mistaken?
Milfeulle: Then do you know where Commander Tact Mayers is?
Tact: I'm Mayers... Who the blazes are you? Why do you know my name?
Milfeulle: Ah. I'm sorry. I'm...
*gunshot somehow audible in space*
Milfeulle: Uwaaaa!
This ridiculous conversation is cut short by the fleet following the three fighters. As it turns out, they weren't leading the fleet to Criom, they were being chased. Which amounts to the same thing, really, except that these three aren't going to try to kill us. The pink derp who contacted Tact starts freaking out, saying that all the reports said that there weren't supposed to be any enemies out in the middle of nowhere in the first place. Which would, you know, make sense. Pink Derp, panicking, asks us to save her. Lester just wonders why she isn't doing anything herself. When Tact tries to ask about it...
Fanservice Haremette #1: Ranpha Franboise
Tsuntsun, romantic, and voiced by Tamura Yukari!
The pilot of one of the two other fighters butts in and starts yelling at Tact. His head is spinning, but she honestly doesn't care.
Tact: Uwa!? What was that just now!?
Ranpha: Isn't a girl in danger? Save her without complaining! Tact Mayers!
Tact: This girl also knows my name...
Tsuning at Tact done with, the blonde quickly moves to ranting out Pink Derp, or Milfeulle, whom she calls Milfie. Milfie whines. Ranpha tsuns some more. What's really important here is that Ranpha lets slip that the fighters they're piloting are something called "Emblem Frames", and Lester freaks out. Somebody, steer this conversation back on track, please.
Fanservice Haremette #2: Forte Stollen
Is that uniform really approved for military use?
Thank you. The pilot of the third Emblem Frame straightens out the conversation and reminds her fellow pilots that they are being chased and they do need to do something about it. She turns her attention back to Tact and announces that they've come to see him. At that point, the bridge crew finally pipes in with the information that these three have conveniently not gotten around to discussing.
Oh, so they're the good guys. Also, "Angel Wing" is the best pun ever.
The pink one is Milfie's: GA-001 Lucky Star. Strength: overall balance. Weakness: so unstable that pure luck is holding it together. Thakfully, as we'll find out later, Milfie has no shortage of that.
The red one is Ranpha's: GA-002 Kung Fu Fighter. Strength: twice as fast as anything else. Weakness: ZERO ARMOUR.
The purple one is Forte's: GA-004 Happy Trigger. Strength: enough firepower to solo bosses even at the beginning of the game. Weakness: so slow that it usually can't even get to them unless you're specifically trying to level her up.
Lester is incredibly impressed. The Emblem Frames, he says, are the greatest of all Lost Technology and the strongest ships in the universe, and one of them can take two of anything else. Which brings us back to why they're out here in the middle of nowhere. Tact asks, but the Angel Wing says this isn't the time for that right now, because they're kind of being chased.
We also get a look at the fleet we're supposed to be going after. That looks like a lot more than seven ships. I suppose that the game is just having us imagine the rest, which is fine by me, because then we don't have to fight that many. Tact isn't sure why the Angel Wing or Eonia's forces are all the way out here, but there's only one thing to do.
>Help the Angels.
This is our first choice of the game, and it's a pretty easy one. Choosing this option raises the affection of Milfie, Ranpha, and Forte. Picking anything else would just result in a but-thou-must situation, plus everybody hating you.
Tact stakes his manly pride on bailing out the Angels. Even though he's got only three ships that really suck, Forte at least is impressed by it, remarking that a guy who wouldn't protect someone in trouble can't be relied on to protect the Empire's future.
Surely she doesn't mean anything significant by that.
Tact finally gives up on the idea of having an actual explanation for things before they get out of mortal peril and decides to command the Angels. Of course, whether this goes well is another matter entirely.
When we last left our hero, Commander Derpcase Tact Mayers, he was either contemplating the complicated political situation in the Transbaal Empire or slacking off. We're not entirely sure how much of it was one and how much was the other. It doesn't matter right now anyway, because Tact's habit of tempting fate has to show some consequences some time.
Like now.
Suddenly, Tact's fleet (if you can call three ships that can barely do anything a fleet) picks something up on radar. They can't contact HQ and trying to call the nearest inhabited planet doesn't work either. The coup is making communication a mess. There's nothing to do but... well, provide some much-needed exposition. I swear, half of this introduction has been exposition, even without that text-dump I sped past last chapter. Either way, we need it, so it's a good thing!
So. The guy behind the coup is the prince, Eonia, who was disowned and exiled five years ago for some reason, probably for being the kind of guy who would come in out of nowhere with an army of black ships and bomb his own planet for no good reason. Lester can't even believe that Eonia is still alive, much less overthrowing the Empire, but Tact is less surprised, stating that humans can survive anywhere. The only thing he's worried about is how he got anyone to help him. Before they can say anything else, an alarm goes off.
This is the first of many similar screens that we'll be seeing throughout the game. Remember how I said that this game is half visual novel, half real-time strategy? These screens are what usually signify the switch from the former to the latter. It gives us a layout of the battlefield, while Tact and the bridge crew plan how to win against the enemy that's just shown up. Sometimes these plans are pretty decent and we'll go with them. Other times, they just make things harder than they need to be and we can scrap them.
Green and greenish units belong to us, purples and reds to enemies, orange are neutral, and yellow usually signifies NPCs you have to keep alive and will generally fail at. In later chapters, you will see firsthand my disdain for escort missions, but that's not important right now. Let's look at the map.
Today, we happen to be facing down ten ships -- or rather, three unknown fighters being chased by seven ships. On our side, we have a Barmell and two Spards. All you need to know about Barmells and Spards is that they both suck. Never let them do anything.
Which means that the battle ahead, as it is, is nothing short of suicidal.
Not having any better ideas, Tact decides to order his patrol to fight instead of sit around doing nothing. None of the crew have had any actual combat experience, though, and it's obvious that they would all be nervous even if the situation weren't obviously unwinnable. Tact himself isn't too confident, either, but he offers some encouraging words to the crew.
Really encouraging.
Tact and company still can't think of any ideas that won't get them killed. The fighters alone look like they could take out the patrol. But then, we get a visual of the ships on the main monitor... which means another video you'll have to imagine is here! Man, I wish YouTube hadn't taken down all the cinematics from this game. That would make my job so much easier. Anyway, all you need to see here is this.
TITLE DROP
Lester and Tact both think they've seen that insignia before! We have, too, of course, but obviously neither of them has seen the main menu or the chapter intro screen. While they're trying to think of it, they receive an emergency distress call... from the three fighters approaching them. Tact figures that the only thing to do is to put them through. Is it some mistake? Is it actually a call to surrender?
No, it's... a sudden BGM change.
Lead Haremette: Milfeulle "Milfie" Sakuraba
All the luck, none of the brain cells.
THAT is on the other line.
Tact: Yes...?
Milfeulle: If I'm not mistaken, isn't this the fleet stationed in the Criom system?
Tact: If you're not mistaken?
Milfeulle: Then do you know where Commander Tact Mayers is?
Tact: I'm Mayers... Who the blazes are you? Why do you know my name?
Milfeulle: Ah. I'm sorry. I'm...
*gunshot somehow audible in space*
Milfeulle: Uwaaaa!
This ridiculous conversation is cut short by the fleet following the three fighters. As it turns out, they weren't leading the fleet to Criom, they were being chased. Which amounts to the same thing, really, except that these three aren't going to try to kill us. The pink derp who contacted Tact starts freaking out, saying that all the reports said that there weren't supposed to be any enemies out in the middle of nowhere in the first place. Which would, you know, make sense. Pink Derp, panicking, asks us to save her. Lester just wonders why she isn't doing anything herself. When Tact tries to ask about it...
Fanservice Haremette #1: Ranpha Franboise
Tsuntsun, romantic, and voiced by Tamura Yukari!
The pilot of one of the two other fighters butts in and starts yelling at Tact. His head is spinning, but she honestly doesn't care.
Tact: Uwa!? What was that just now!?
Ranpha: Isn't a girl in danger? Save her without complaining! Tact Mayers!
Tact: This girl also knows my name...
Tsuning at Tact done with, the blonde quickly moves to ranting out Pink Derp, or Milfeulle, whom she calls Milfie. Milfie whines. Ranpha tsuns some more. What's really important here is that Ranpha lets slip that the fighters they're piloting are something called "Emblem Frames", and Lester freaks out. Somebody, steer this conversation back on track, please.
Fanservice Haremette #2: Forte Stollen
Is that uniform really approved for military use?
Thank you. The pilot of the third Emblem Frame straightens out the conversation and reminds her fellow pilots that they are being chased and they do need to do something about it. She turns her attention back to Tact and announces that they've come to see him. At that point, the bridge crew finally pipes in with the information that these three have conveniently not gotten around to discussing.
Oh, so they're the good guys. Also, "Angel Wing" is the best pun ever.
The pink one is Milfie's: GA-001 Lucky Star. Strength: overall balance. Weakness: so unstable that pure luck is holding it together. Thakfully, as we'll find out later, Milfie has no shortage of that.
The red one is Ranpha's: GA-002 Kung Fu Fighter. Strength: twice as fast as anything else. Weakness: ZERO ARMOUR.
The purple one is Forte's: GA-004 Happy Trigger. Strength: enough firepower to solo bosses even at the beginning of the game. Weakness: so slow that it usually can't even get to them unless you're specifically trying to level her up.
Lester is incredibly impressed. The Emblem Frames, he says, are the greatest of all Lost Technology and the strongest ships in the universe, and one of them can take two of anything else. Which brings us back to why they're out here in the middle of nowhere. Tact asks, but the Angel Wing says this isn't the time for that right now, because they're kind of being chased.
We also get a look at the fleet we're supposed to be going after. That looks like a lot more than seven ships. I suppose that the game is just having us imagine the rest, which is fine by me, because then we don't have to fight that many. Tact isn't sure why the Angel Wing or Eonia's forces are all the way out here, but there's only one thing to do.
>Help the Angels.
This is our first choice of the game, and it's a pretty easy one. Choosing this option raises the affection of Milfie, Ranpha, and Forte. Picking anything else would just result in a but-thou-must situation, plus everybody hating you.
Tact stakes his manly pride on bailing out the Angels. Even though he's got only three ships that really suck, Forte at least is impressed by it, remarking that a guy who wouldn't protect someone in trouble can't be relied on to protect the Empire's future.
Surely she doesn't mean anything significant by that.
Tact finally gives up on the idea of having an actual explanation for things before they get out of mortal peril and decides to command the Angels. Of course, whether this goes well is another matter entirely.