(no subject)
He loves Jesus.
Perhaps a little too much....
And baby Jesus loves him, too.
Lambuel has a friend, Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew.
Of course, Hopsiah doesn't love the baby Jesus. According to Mel Gibson, Hopsiah is a Christ Killer and will probably end up in the Lake of Fire come Judgment Day. Poor Hopsiah. All baby Jesus wants is some lovin'. Why has Hopsiah foresaken Him?
'Course, Hopsiah isn't as badly off as these folks :
Habu is a polytheistic elephant who is always very confused. He has so many gods that when he has problems, he just doesn't know who to turn to! If only he would simplify his life with Jesus!
Mr. Gruff is a sad Atheist goat who only finds solace in coffee. He's become as bitter as his favorite drink. If only he knew Jesus!
If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!
You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!
Lambuel also has a friend who is a girl.
She thinks Lambuel is cute and wants to marry him one day! She prays she will grow up to be a virtuous, God-fearing woman and earn Lambuel's Luv!
And in case she gives in to her raging hormones, she wears these:
This uncomfortable undergarment will be a daily reminder to unmarried women to find a husband and a emergency moral reminder to her would-be-suitor. (For use under traditional underwear only.) All this can be yours for $8.50.
But Lambuel only loves Jesus. And kidz. The "z" is for "zealousness," 'cause Jesus wants us to be hot for Him.
Now be a good Samaritan and help Lambuel get to Church.
