Appropriate Icon Is Appropriate
Per The Baby Sis’ request, a more detailed account of the shenanigans of last weekend.
The original plan was to camp out Friday and Saturday nights, but I got a late start over, and she went out with a friend scouting for elk that evening, so we cooked dinner at her place, ate w/ said elk hunting friend, and spent the night in town.
Saturday we drove up to CB, ferrying two of her coworkers along with us. I was assured by The Baby Sis that these coworkers were both nerds, and were looking forward to having nerdy conversation with me on the drive. Sadly, they turned out to be primarily gaming nerds. Only one of them had even heard of Joss Whedon, and when I mentioned Neil Gaiman, one drew a complete blank, and the other thought he sounded “vaguely familiar.” I informed them both I was revoking their nerd cards, because come on now, really. Standards must be maintained.
We hit up the Mt. Crested Butte Beer and Chili Fest as planned, w/ The Baby Sis' friend, The Lawyer, where, as previously mentioned, I had the best ale EVAR. I punked out after only a couple of hours, as I had neglected to prehydrate, so between the beer and the incredibly intense sun, I was starting to feel a little ill. Although that may have been from the jam bands too, IDK. I took the bus back down to The Lawyer’s apartment in CB proper, and spent a couple of hours bonding with his cat, reading, and drinking lots of water.
The Lawyer and The Baby Sis showed up, and he convinced us that, instead of heading to a campground, we should join him instead at his housesitting gig at a McMansion in CB South, "They have a well stocked liquor cabinet!" he promised. But, since we hadn’t initially planned on just staying up there, we had to first drive back down to Gunny, check on the dog and let her out, and grab our bags.
The Lawyer came with us, and we decided to hit up House of China for some small town Chinese food. Plus an Aku Aku for The Lawyer. “This is just like old times!” he said. Because The Lawyer and The Baby Sis have known each other since high school, although back then there were no akus involved. At least not in public. This was maybe not the first time I have played DD/babysitter for their substance-addled asses, is what I’m saying, here.
Then back up to CB, so The Lawyer could take The Baby Sis to a bar, and introduce her to one of his friends, who he thought might be a potential new love interest for her. Not so much, as it turns out, but that didn’t stop them from spending over two hours at the bar, consuming even more alcohol. Spoiler alert: they were really fucking drunk when they showed back up at his apartment, where I’d been waiting to play DD again.
I white-knuckled it down the stretch of highway from CB to Mt. CB (spoiler alert: I’m kind of night blind!), and then we turned off onto a series of twisty, wind-y graveled mountain roads. I was actually kind of impressed The Lawyer was able to remember all of the turnings it took to get us to the McMansion, considering his level of inebriation.
He was not as badly off as The Baby Sis, however, who kept mumbling from the back seat, "I think I might need to puke..." I tried telling her that she needed to quit saying this unless she actually needed me to pull over right that instant and stop the car, which shut her up. For about 30 seconds. Eventually I poured the remaining iced tea from a cup in my cupholder out the window, and tossed it back to her, telling her if she needed to spew, she should spew in that.
Thankfully, we made it to the McMansion with only one wrong turn, and no vomiting of any kind took place in my vehicle.
The Lawyer played gracious host and showed me where my bedroom was, and where the liquor cabinet was, and then he and The Baby Sis went to their room and passed the fuck out, after he spent some time assuring me that, though they were sharing sleeping quarters, there would be no intimate contact between them. I was all, "Preeeeeetty sure you’re too drunk for that to happen even if I thought it was an option, dude." Then, blessed silence, and I had the place to myself.
Or so I thought.
I was in the kitchen, fixing a generous vodka and blood orange soda, when The Lawyer came stumbling downstairs, clad in nothing but his briefs, and proceeded to stand at the counter and eat his leftover cold veggie fried rice straight from the carton.
I, meanwhile, went across the hall and started organizing my bags to drag them upstairs to my room. After about 5 minutes, The Baby Sis hollered at him to come upstairs and go to bed already.
And suddenly, it occurred to The Lawyer that he was in the presence of a lady while in a state of considerable undress. "But your sister’s down here!" he called back, "She’ll see me in my tighty whiteys!"
"Oh honey," I tried to reassure him, as he peeped around the corner from the kitchen like a blushing maiden, "It’s a little late to worry about that. And also, your underwear is technically blue." Besides, witnessing his briefs on show was not nearly as disturbing as that one time he and the baby sis did E in a hostel room we were all sharing in Seattle, and proceeded to tell me how much they loved me, whilst stroking the fuzzy sweater I was wearing.
He made a dash for it, muttering about his shameful lack of attire, despite me assuring him I had my eyes closed. I followed up the stairs with my bags and my drink at a slightly more sedate pace, and brought The Baby Sis a mugful of water before repairing to my room, where I got my own drank on, whilst reading a trashy romance novel and enjoying the cool mountain breeze coming in through the windows. It was almost like the relaxing, communing-with-nature kind of weekend I had initially envisioned.
We got up far, far too early the next morning, drove The Lawyer back up to CB, and went back down to Gunny to let the dog out. Grabbed some gourmet breakfast sandwiches from Sonic, and ate them whilst watching episodes of Face Off, and then I headed home.
This weekend, the most exciting thing I did was put together the vacuum my dad had sent to me - he decided a couple of weeks ago that it was National Buy Your Daughters A Vacuum Day, because he’s thoughtful like that.
And OH. MY. GODS. Maybe I just need to get out more, because I was way, way too thrilled about the levels of suction on this thing. And the amount of cat hair it sucked up. UH. MAZING. I was almost tempted to call in sick today, and just stay home and vacuum all the things. It was glorious.
The original plan was to camp out Friday and Saturday nights, but I got a late start over, and she went out with a friend scouting for elk that evening, so we cooked dinner at her place, ate w/ said elk hunting friend, and spent the night in town.
Saturday we drove up to CB, ferrying two of her coworkers along with us. I was assured by The Baby Sis that these coworkers were both nerds, and were looking forward to having nerdy conversation with me on the drive. Sadly, they turned out to be primarily gaming nerds. Only one of them had even heard of Joss Whedon, and when I mentioned Neil Gaiman, one drew a complete blank, and the other thought he sounded “vaguely familiar.” I informed them both I was revoking their nerd cards, because come on now, really. Standards must be maintained.
We hit up the Mt. Crested Butte Beer and Chili Fest as planned, w/ The Baby Sis' friend, The Lawyer, where, as previously mentioned, I had the best ale EVAR. I punked out after only a couple of hours, as I had neglected to prehydrate, so between the beer and the incredibly intense sun, I was starting to feel a little ill. Although that may have been from the jam bands too, IDK. I took the bus back down to The Lawyer’s apartment in CB proper, and spent a couple of hours bonding with his cat, reading, and drinking lots of water.
The Lawyer and The Baby Sis showed up, and he convinced us that, instead of heading to a campground, we should join him instead at his housesitting gig at a McMansion in CB South, "They have a well stocked liquor cabinet!" he promised. But, since we hadn’t initially planned on just staying up there, we had to first drive back down to Gunny, check on the dog and let her out, and grab our bags.
The Lawyer came with us, and we decided to hit up House of China for some small town Chinese food. Plus an Aku Aku for The Lawyer. “This is just like old times!” he said. Because The Lawyer and The Baby Sis have known each other since high school, although back then there were no akus involved. At least not in public. This was maybe not the first time I have played DD/babysitter for their substance-addled asses, is what I’m saying, here.
Then back up to CB, so The Lawyer could take The Baby Sis to a bar, and introduce her to one of his friends, who he thought might be a potential new love interest for her. Not so much, as it turns out, but that didn’t stop them from spending over two hours at the bar, consuming even more alcohol. Spoiler alert: they were really fucking drunk when they showed back up at his apartment, where I’d been waiting to play DD again.
I white-knuckled it down the stretch of highway from CB to Mt. CB (spoiler alert: I’m kind of night blind!), and then we turned off onto a series of twisty, wind-y graveled mountain roads. I was actually kind of impressed The Lawyer was able to remember all of the turnings it took to get us to the McMansion, considering his level of inebriation.
He was not as badly off as The Baby Sis, however, who kept mumbling from the back seat, "I think I might need to puke..." I tried telling her that she needed to quit saying this unless she actually needed me to pull over right that instant and stop the car, which shut her up. For about 30 seconds. Eventually I poured the remaining iced tea from a cup in my cupholder out the window, and tossed it back to her, telling her if she needed to spew, she should spew in that.
Thankfully, we made it to the McMansion with only one wrong turn, and no vomiting of any kind took place in my vehicle.
The Lawyer played gracious host and showed me where my bedroom was, and where the liquor cabinet was, and then he and The Baby Sis went to their room and passed the fuck out, after he spent some time assuring me that, though they were sharing sleeping quarters, there would be no intimate contact between them. I was all, "Preeeeeetty sure you’re too drunk for that to happen even if I thought it was an option, dude." Then, blessed silence, and I had the place to myself.
Or so I thought.
I was in the kitchen, fixing a generous vodka and blood orange soda, when The Lawyer came stumbling downstairs, clad in nothing but his briefs, and proceeded to stand at the counter and eat his leftover cold veggie fried rice straight from the carton.
I, meanwhile, went across the hall and started organizing my bags to drag them upstairs to my room. After about 5 minutes, The Baby Sis hollered at him to come upstairs and go to bed already.
And suddenly, it occurred to The Lawyer that he was in the presence of a lady while in a state of considerable undress. "But your sister’s down here!" he called back, "She’ll see me in my tighty whiteys!"
"Oh honey," I tried to reassure him, as he peeped around the corner from the kitchen like a blushing maiden, "It’s a little late to worry about that. And also, your underwear is technically blue." Besides, witnessing his briefs on show was not nearly as disturbing as that one time he and the baby sis did E in a hostel room we were all sharing in Seattle, and proceeded to tell me how much they loved me, whilst stroking the fuzzy sweater I was wearing.
He made a dash for it, muttering about his shameful lack of attire, despite me assuring him I had my eyes closed. I followed up the stairs with my bags and my drink at a slightly more sedate pace, and brought The Baby Sis a mugful of water before repairing to my room, where I got my own drank on, whilst reading a trashy romance novel and enjoying the cool mountain breeze coming in through the windows. It was almost like the relaxing, communing-with-nature kind of weekend I had initially envisioned.
We got up far, far too early the next morning, drove The Lawyer back up to CB, and went back down to Gunny to let the dog out. Grabbed some gourmet breakfast sandwiches from Sonic, and ate them whilst watching episodes of Face Off, and then I headed home.
This weekend, the most exciting thing I did was put together the vacuum my dad had sent to me - he decided a couple of weeks ago that it was National Buy Your Daughters A Vacuum Day, because he’s thoughtful like that.
And OH. MY. GODS. Maybe I just need to get out more, because I was way, way too thrilled about the levels of suction on this thing. And the amount of cat hair it sucked up. UH. MAZING. I was almost tempted to call in sick today, and just stay home and vacuum all the things. It was glorious.