私はきらピンクです
Well, it seems that I’m back in LiveJournal with a new account (again). I’m not surprised. I forgot my old password, but I remembered it (or guessed it, actually) right after I validated my email address for this account.
Either way, since I totally bitched out in my old account (and I’m never touching my first account again for fear of remembering what a weirdo I was before high school).
Updates, updates…
Well, first of all, I’m in college. Hell yes. XD
Second, dude, I freaking got a crush. Well, two crushes, but I’m only interested in one of them. His name is… I am so not giving his name. XD But I’m willing to give you guys two codenames for him :”> Romeo Cesare (no one will get it unless they’re as random as I am, but it really does make sense) and Blue-kun (ブルー). And the other guy is my Nii-chan.
With Nii-chan, it’s just a happy crush, so I’m okay with him. It’s not like I want anything to happen with him. Not that I expect anything to happen with Blue-kun, but I’m not saying I don’t want anything to happen with him either. I don’t know. I really suck at talking about these things. :))
A lot has changed in me, actually. I’m more depressed than I usually am. I almost cut myself once. I even told Nii-chan about it, and he told me that I should busy myself so I can feel appreciated. Well, I’m a bit busier now, but I still don’t feel appreciated. :(
I wish I could talk to Nii-chan right now. I don’t have any classes with him. Well, I do, but not a lot. *coughonecough* Plus I wasn’t able to talk to him for the past… three days. That’s so sad. :(
But on the plus side, I was able to chat with Blue-kun. A lot of times, actually. It makes me feel all giddy inside when I chat with him. I don’t get that feeling when I talk to him, but I get it when I don’t get to talk to him. Actually, I noticed that if there are other people around, we don’t talk to each other. But if there’s no one else around, we talk to each other. Does that mean we’re both shy with each other or…?
I don’t know. Maybe I’m the only one who thinks that. Momo-chan said I have something to hope for, but I’m not really sure. She said I shouldn’t expect too much though. I know she won’t reveal anything to me, and I don’t expect her to. I kinda have a clue about what’s going on, but I’m not really sure about it. Why can’t people just be straightforward with each other when it comes to these things? It would be easier that way and it would save us the trouble of dealing with our repressed feelings.
What the hell am I saying? I’m doing a freaking monologue here. XD Repressed my ass, I bet I really am the only one who feels this way. That would be kinda sad, but there’s no helping it if it’s true. But that’s the question; is it true?
Ugh, I have to stop talking gibberish like this. :)) I sound so weird. XD Seriously, I’m freaking myself out.
You stole my happy
You made me cry
Took the lonely
And took me for a ride
- Undo It by Carrie Underwood
With Love,
~ ピンク~ ♥