(Untitled)

[from_nothing]

In grade school
the friday before fathers day
we would usually take an hour to make our fathers a card.

However
I would sit there with my crayons and paper
and do nothing.

The other kids would laugh at me.

It was so strange to them
the concept of not knowing your father.

Happy fathers day.

Comments

[matchbox20gyrl]

If it counts for something, I sort of know how you feel. It isn't exactly the same, of course. In my case, I knew my father, when I was very small. But he decided, when I was only in kindergarten, that when my mother wanted a divorce he didn't want me at all. He fought like hell for partial custody of my brother, but didn't want anything of me because I was just a girl. Kids at school didn't understand how I could have a father who so literally didn't want me in his life. I didn't bother trying to make him cards either, since he might have given my life but wasn't a real person to me (I don't even remember what interactions I did have with him when I was small). So I guess the core of the issue is the same as yours: having a father who didn't take responsibility for his child, and the pain of dealing with people with more fortunate situations and less understanding. I understand that much all too well, even if the part about knowing the father is different.

[from_nothing]

I actually think that it might be harder to know your father...

I'm not sure.

[silencescreams]

I have a step-dad and he is pretty cool. I call him for fathersday even though my mom is divorced from him now. I never knew my real father either. I don't know...some people have other 'males' to fill the 'father' role, and some people just don't ever have one. At any rate, I think you are an amazing person despite what it is you don't feel you have had to help you along the way. Maybe you should give yourself a fathers day card, for raising yourself!

[from_nothing]

Thanks Nicole!