In the Company of Wolves
Title: In the Company of Wolves, Part VI
Pairing: JA/JP, JP/OC
Rating: R for violence and language.
Warning: AU
Disclaimer: Complete fiction, and I'm hoping it stays that way.
Summary: The hemorrhagic fever has been discovered in Western Washington. The team assigned to stopping this virulent disease discovers not only was the plague deliberately introduced to the human population, but it may have been the government that began the tragedy.
Main Post
Day Six
“So, this thing Jensen made is going to attack the filovirus and make it disappear?” Chad’s question managed to earn a wan smile from his exhausted friend.
“Not really,” Jared said. “There is no need to attack since the filovirus doesn’t recognize Modi I as a threat. As far as it’s concerned, Modi I is just another filovirus.”
“So, what does Modi I do exactly?” Chad frowned as he watched unidentifiable blurs come into focus on the large screen. “Dude, what’s with the lame name? Modi I? Why not Death Dealer or…”
“Modi is short for modification, and I designates first generation,” Jared explained patiently. “And here we go.”
Chad looked at the screen again as Jared approached the monitor. He still couldn’t tell the difference since everything looked like squiggles to him.
“There,” Jared said, pointing at what looked like a filovirus. “That’s Modi I, and there and there.”
“What … dude, is it banging the…”
This time Jared laughed. “No, it’s almost like gene therapy. The filovirus doesn’t recognize Modi I as a threat because Modi I is genetically engineered to fly under its radar." Jared pointed to a specific virus on screen. "Look, Modi I makes physical contact, and there, you see? It's injecting new RNA sequence into the filovirus, rendering it neutral.”
“That sounds like AIDs,” Chad said, fascinated by what he was watching.
“Very much like AIDs, except Modi I specifically targets Coughlin’s creation.”
“What if the virus mutates? Can Modi I mutate to match it?”
“No, but it doesn’t need to. It’s targeting the virus as it’s transcribing for the first time. That’s when this particular strain is most virulent. It gets weaker with each new generation, like the Hantavirus Brown was talking about. If the patient survives the first wave, then he or she has better chance of surviving the next mutation and so forth.”
“But nobody’s surviving the first wave.” Chad slowly rose out of his chair as he began comprehending what he was seeing. “So it’s not a total cure, but the patients who are already infected will at least have a chance survive.”
“Yes, and you have to admit: it's a huge improvement from a fatality rate of one hundred percent.”
“But won’t they become carriers for the rest of their lives?”
“Probably, or until we find another cure. But still, you saw the latest figures, right?”
Chad’s face darkened. “Nearly seventeen thousand infected, and half are medical personnel. Jesus, if they die then it won’t just be the fucking hemorrhagic fever that’ll start packing in the morgues.”
“No,” Jared whispered. “Surgeries will come to a halt, along with chronic medical treatment, including cancer. Accident victims won’t survive a day because there will be no competent personnel to treat them. Hemorrhagic fever will be the last of their worries if the doctors and the nurses start dropping like flies and hospitals shut down.”
“Did you ever think this hellish mess was engineered to take them out?” Chad asked.
“Yeah, that thought crossed my mind.”
“You know, I’ve worked with you since we met in college,” Chad whispered. “And I’ve met some sick sons of bitches because of my job, but this … this is beyond anything we've come across.
“Why did they do this?”
“Because Jorgensen and Coughlin were scared for their lives,” Jared said. “Because they thought they could play God in their little world and believed nobody would get hurt.”
“But they built a Doomsday plague,” Chad said. “They must have known what they were doing was not only dangerous, but just wrong.”
“They got a pass their entire lives, Chad, because they were so smart. People just let them do what they wanted and nobody thought to do otherwise because none of them realized that being smart doesn’t mean being wise, or possessing a conscience.
“You’d be amazed what shit we’re allowed to get away with, just because of a high I.Q.”
“Dude, you’re nothing like those maniacs,” Chad quickly said.
“Not so much, no,” Jared agreed sadly. “But I understand them more than I’m comfortable with.”
“So, what’s next?”
“Wentworth and Jensen will take it into trial stages.”
“You mean animal testing?”
“No, no time,” Jared said. “They’re scoping out people who have onset of the first symptoms.”
“Jesus Christ.” Chad looked at the screen where Modi I was dutifully performing what it was designed to do. “We’re really that screwed?”
“Yeah, we’re that screwed.”
Jared was tired enough not to see where he was going. So, it didn’t surprise him when he turned a corner and slammed into Wentworth. However, it was he, not the thin Brit, who bounced off the wall.
“Sorry,” Wentworth curtly said as he helped Jared get his bearings.
He’s pissed, Jared realized. “Anything I can do to help?”
Wentworth paused for a moment before replying, “No, but thank you for the offer.”
“Have you seen Brown?”
“He’s with Jensen,” Wentworth answered. “It’s best not to disturb them right now.”
“Okay.”
Wentworth's odd statement puzzled Jared but he didn't give much thought to it as he made his way to the showers. The hot water worked miracles for his fuzzy mind, and Jared started to wonder what Brown and Jensen could be doing that wouldn’t require either his or Wentworth’s presence.
And piss off Miller to such a degree that the man almost ran Jared over without a thought.
Jared was dressing when the answer struck him.
“No,” he said aloud to the empty bathroom. “No fucking way.”
Jared didn’t bother to put on his sneakers. Instead, he ran down to the end of the hallway and slammed opened the doors to the isolation lab. He looked at the monitors to see who was working in the Level Four Unit.
Two people: Brown and Jensen. But Jensen wasn’t in a suit. He was in hospital greens.
“Fuck no,” Jared whispered.
He ran into the decon chamber and systematically put on the space suit, pacing nervously as it took the security system two minutes to clear him.
Sterling was ready for Jared’s stormy entrance.
“You bastard,” Jared shouted at him. “What did you do?”
“I volunteered,” Jensen answered calmly. “Brown had nothing to do with this.”
His answer didn't mollify Jared at all. “How in hell could you agree to this?!”
“We needed a specific subject for a controlled study,” Sterling said.
“Why Jensen? Why not ask me or Chad…”
“Because your expertise is required for future services.”
“And mine ended when we coded in the RNA sequence into Modi I,” Jensen added. “I’m of no use to you now.”
Jared looked at Jensen, his shock clearly visible. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dr. Brown, can we have some privacy? And I think you should be in the front room. Since all our voice modules are networked, Chad will definitely have heard Jared.”
“Of course, contact me if you need anything.”
With that Sterling left the room.
“Like I said, I volunteered,” Jensen explained. “But they insisted on drawing straws.”
“When…”
“Nearly forty minutes ago,” Jensen said. “I’m already dosed, Jared. There’s nothing you can do.”
“We have thousands of patients we could…”
“You know as well as I do what it means to have a test subject from the first second of infection. And we can hardly transplant this lab and the C.D.C.’s to wherever the patient’s located. That would be enormous waste of time and resources. And let’s face it - we’ve run out of time two days ago.”
“You fucking shit for brains,” Jared said, his voice trembling badly. “Do you realize what you’ve just done?”
“Infected myself with hemorrhagic fever.”
“And even if you’re cured, you’re a carrier, you know that. Maybe for life.”
“Like thousands of others, then.”
“And if this doesn’t work…”
“I’ll still be like thousands, maybe millions, of others.”
“When are you getting Modi I?”
“When the first symptom appears.”
“Why did you spare me? Or Chris or Steve?”
“Like Brown said - you’re too valuable. And if shit hits the fan, you guys are going to need Chris and Steve to get you out.”
“Chad?” Jared asked.
“He would never have volunteered,” Jensen answered. “And he’s a civilian.”
“Wentworth?”
“His system’s too weak. If this thing hits his brain, he’ll be paralyzed. I know you hate being reminded but he’s still the leader of this team, and you’re going to need him to work on Modi I, since he helped me create the virus.”
Jared closed his eyes. “Jesus Christ.”
“Jared, the best thing you can do for me right now is to work on Modi I. See if there could be a better delivery system for it.”
“To shorten the infection time,” Jared added. “Yeah, I know.”
“Brown will have me on observation. When the first symptoms appear, he’s going to need Modi I. I’d appreciate it if it’s polished and ready to go by then.”
Jared gently touched Jensen's shoulders with his gloved hands. For the first time in his life, Jared wished he could touch his patient. “When this is over, we’re going to have ourselves a serious talk.”
“Somehow, I don’t see you waiting that long.”
“Fuck you,” Jared said hoarsely and without a drop of rancor.
As he entered the lab, he spotted Sterling already occupied with work. “If Jensen dies, you’re not walking out of here alive.”
“If Jensen dies, I doubt any of us are going to be walking out of here alive.”
“Is that a threat?”
Sterling looked up from the microscope. “No, but we both know the endgame should Modi I fail.”
Jared swallowed his retort. He had no time to waste and Jensen’s request for a better delivery system was more than justified. The faster Modi I could work, the better chance Jensen has of complete recovery. Even if Modi I managed to wipe out the filovirus, it could still damage the kidneys and other organs, especially the brain.
“You fuck!” Chris hollered.
Jared turned to see Chris storming into the lab, trailed by Steve who put a restraining hand on his friend’s shoulder. It must have worked because Chris didn’t enter further. He raised a finger at Sterling. “We’re not done yet. When this is over, I’m gonna have some private time with you.”
“Chris, let them do their work,” Steve pleaded. “C’mon, man, don’t waste their time. Not now.”
Chris looked darkly at Sterling but said nothing as he followed Steve out of the lab. Jared didn’t bother looking at Brown. He knew Chris well enough to know the man was going to keep his word. And Jared was sure Sterling was well aware of the fact.
“I’ll be right back,” Jared said as he went to seek out Wentworth.
He marched down the hall, looking for the Brit. It took him only seconds to find the man in the makeshift kitchen, warming his coffee in the microwave.
Jared didn’t care about Wentworth’s physical condition, or the fact that the man weighed sixty pounds less than him.
With one hard grasp Jared spun Wentworth around. “How could you let him do it? Why didn’t you stop him?”
Wentworth looked at Jared with cold, unreadable eyes. “And how could I stop Jensen? Have you ever tried doing that? Restrain him from doing something he wants? I have. And each occasion, I’ve failed.”
“You could’ve called me. Asked for help. What Jensen is doing is tantamount to suicide!”
“Not if Modi…”
“Fuck Modi I!” Jared roared. “Fuck this entire godforsaken mess. You love him! And when you love someone you’re not supposed to put a gun next to his head and start pulling the trigger!
“What’s the matter with you?!”
“It was Jensen’s decision, and what I wanted…”
“It wasn’t his decision!” Jared yelled. “It should never have come to that in the first place!”
“Jared, what’s done is done,” Wentworth said calmly. “We can’t afford to waste time like this. If Jensen’s to survive the next twenty-four hours, I suggest we cooperate with each other and work quickly.”
Jared looked at Wentworth and realized the man truly did not understand the depth of his anger. He stepped back, wide-eyed and horrified. Jesus Christ, he really doesn’t get it. He has absolutely no fucking clue why I’m ready to tear him apart.
Without another word, Jared walked to the front room where he found Chad talking with Steve and Chris.
Looking a little green around the edges, Chad turned to Jared and said, “What the fuck?”
“You and me both,” Jared said. “Is all the data uploaded? I need everything and I mean everything.”
“It’s all current and live,” Chad answered. “If you need me to do something else, just holler.”
"Thanks,” Jared said. He turned to Chris and Steve. “Can I talk with you guys for a minute?”
Steve dragged his reluctant friend to a small conference room. “What do you need?”
“I want one of you to always be with Jensen. Don’t leave him alone with Brown, not even for a second. If you need to take a piss - get the other one to come in.”
“What’s worrying you, exactly?” Chris asked. “Because I'm getting the feeling things could get worse.”
“Look, Jensen is now officially a control subject,” Jared answered. “This entire fucking mess made everything unpredictable, including what you and I think of as basic human rights. If the outfit Brown works for decides to swoop in and take over, there isn’t much we can do to stop them.”
Steve closed his eyes and moaned, “Fuckity fuck.”
“No matter what happens, we can’t let Jensen out of our care,” Jared said in a pained voice. “Do you understand?”
“Yeah, we do,” Chris answered. “Nobody gets to him without your okay, then?”
“Pretty much. I’ll be working back there so I’ll keep tabs on Brown, but just in case - you hear what I’m saying?”
“Loud and clear,” Chris said. “Okay, then. I’ll suit up for the first two hours.”
“I’ll do the next two and we’ll keep that rotation until ten in the evening. Then we’ll switch to four-four,” Steve said.
“Good, if Brown asks why you’re doing this - well, I’m sure you could come up with something halfway believable.”
“Again, not a problem,” Steve said. “Go, do what you have to so Jensen’s out of this mess. It’s the only way we’ll ever get a chance to kick his crazy ass.”
Jared barked a lean laugh. “Sounds good. Thanks.”
Steve and Chris left, talking to each other in low voices. Jared didn’t need to hear their conversation: he trusted them, and it was nice to have finally earned theirs.
Steve came to relieve Chris after the first two hours. He chatted amiably with Jensen as the patient powered up a laptop.
“Thanks for getting me this,” Jensen said. “I was dying of boredom.”
“So Chris isn’t entertaining as he thinks he is?”
Jensen gave a tired smile. “I could hear him grinding his teeth together so he wouldn’t yell at me.”
“Jensen, you do realize what you did firmly belongs in the realm of suicidal masochism, right?”
“Steve, I don’t want to have this conversation with you too.”
“Hey, fine with me.” Steve looked around the room and said, “So, about Jared…”
Jensen sighed, reached over and turned off Steve’s voice module so the conversation wouldn’t be recorded for everyone to hear down the road.
“What about Jared?”
“The guy’s having serious problems and from what I can see - they’re all about you.”
“Gee, thanks. I’ve done nothing to cause…”
“You’re fucking kidding me. You just hopped yourself on Level Four contagion. I think that warrants a little concern from him.”
“We had and still have a complicated relationship,” Jensen said.
“Easy to fuck up, hard to fix is what you’re saying,” Steve drawled.
“If I shut up, will you?”
Steve paused as if to consider Jensen’s offer. “No.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Jensen looked at Steve. “So, what do you think of him now?”
“Back when you guys were living together? I thought he was a great guy to hang out with. To date? Not so much.”
“You guessed he was playing the field?”
Steve shrugged and leaned back. “No, it’s just that when I met him, I got vibes that told me he wasn’t really interested in settling down.”
“I always wondered why he did.”
“Because he was in love with you, jackass.”
Jensen looked at his friend. “That makes no sense. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have fucked around behind my back.”
“I hate to say it, but those two ideas don't always walk down the aisle side by side,” Steve said. “Look, you, Jensen Ross Ackles, are a special case, especially among those of us with dicks. The truth is not everyone’s so … dedicated as you.”
“I’m still waiting for an explanation.”
“If there was another guy with your looks and credentials, he’d be roaring around town, partying like it’s 1999. You don’t. I’m guessing it’s got something to do with Danneel and how you were raised, but you’re the type to nest the moment you begin something serious.
“And Jared isn’t, or I should say wasn’t.”
“Then why did he ask me to live with him?”
Steve looked at his friend with pity as he heard the pain in Jensen’s voice. “Because he knew he’d lose you if he didn’t. The unfortunate truth was he wasn’t ready for that kind of relationship. Not then, anyway.”
“He is now?” Jensen asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know,” Steve answered truthfully. “But we all get old, Jensen. And he’s looking down the long road of life with nobody to take the trip with. That would make anyone stop and reconsider his actions.”
“But he isn’t alone,” Jensen whispered. “He has a son.”
“I’m sorry, did you just say Jared has a son?”
Jensen nodded. “I found out accidentally that Jensen’s the father of Sandy’s baby boy - Sam. I couldn’t keep on pretending after that.”
“Jesus Christ. Of all the stupid fucking things … he’s a doctor! Doesn’t he know what safe sex means?”
“I don’t know what the arrangements are between him and Sandy, but Jared has a son, Steve. How could I possibly ignore that?”
“You can’t,” Steve agreed. “Man, it must have been hard for you. You never told me why you just upped and left him, not to mention the States, but I figured it must’ve been something pretty fucking awful.”
“Anyway, it’s over now,” Jensen said.
“I agree, what you two had before is definitely over,” Steve gave a piercing look at his friend. “But something tells me you guys are starting up all over again.”
“I’m not stupid enough for round two,” Jensen said.
“Maybe, maybe not,” Steve said. “But Jared’s already in the ring, and he’s rarin’ to go.”
“I think what I’ve done changes all that.”
“Like hell it does,” Steve said. “Don’t see Jared backing off because you suddenly went stupid. Oh, by the way, climb down the goddamn cross. Jesus doesn’t appreciate people taking his place.”
Jensen’s laughter was weak but genuine. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Give the man a prize,” Steve said with a grin. “But what’s done is done. Let’s just fix this fucking mess and go home.”
Jared studiously ignored the only other person in the lab as he worked furiously to see if the fourth delivery system he’d created would do a better job.
“I think we’re going to have to settle for Modi I,” Sterling declared as he finished studying Modi III.
“What’s the problem?”
“Both Modi II and III are having problems identifying the filovirus.”
“Are they correctly delivering the sequence, though?”
“Yes.”
Jared closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Are they delivering faster?”
“No, Modi I is still the fastest.”
Jared sighed. “Why is that?”
“We’re dealing with a very basic viral delivery system,” Sterling answered. “Maybe the moment we over-tinker, the entire thing falls apart.”
“Let’s get Miller in here.”
Wentworth listened to Sterling’s findings and then looked at the results. “He’s right. There is only so much we can program the virus to do.”
“So Modi I, then?” Jared asked.
Wentworth nodded. “Yes, Jensen might have pulled that thing together under terrific pressure, but that doesn’t mean his work isn’t solid. I don’t think we can improve upon it.”
“All right then, Modi I,” Jared said. “I’ll tell Jensen.”
Wentworth looked like he wanted to say something but refrained. Instead, he quietly left the lab. Sterling looked at the closing door and softly said,
“You know, he’s not the bad guy here. Nobody is.”
“I beg to differ,” Jared snapped. “I can list plenty of assholes who need to spend the rest of their lives in jail, but hey, that’s just me.”
“Did anyone ever tell you, you can be one hell of a pissy bitch?”
“Did anyone ever tell you, you just about raped the Hippocratic Oath with what you’ve done?”
Sterling’s face tightened visibly. “It’s war, Dr. Padalecki. And the side that blinks first, loses. So get off your fucking high horse and start dealing with reality.”
“Hey, whatever helps you get through the day.”
Instead of continuing their argument, Sterling shook his head then returned to his work without another word. Jared forced himself to keep quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was aggravate Sterling enough for the man to call in for reinforcements.
Chad came into the lab. “The final updates you asked me for? They’re done.”
“Thanks,” Jared said, keeping his voice neutral even as his heart rate accelerated.
He’d asked Chad to plant e-mails that would automatically go out to all the major health organizations every thirty minutes. These e-mails would contain detailed information on what they were doing and why. Jared knew he didn't have enough clout to break the media blackout imposed by the government, and that presented the greatest threat to Wentworth’s team since it gave Sterling’s outfit opportunities to swoop in and completely take over.
If that were to happen Jared knew Jensen would never be seen again, or at least alive. And the only way to ensure Jensen's safety was to make sure they were under a global microscope. With so many powerful people watching what was unfolding in Bellevue, Sterling’s team couldn’t make a move. Or at least do so without repercussions.
Chad looked at the monitor and saw Jensen talking with Steve. “I still can’t believe he did it.”
“That places you in the majority.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Chad.”
Sterling seemed to have completely ignored the exchange so Jared returned to his work.
“Jensen’s temperature is rising.”
Jared’s attention to his work completely disintegrated. He turned to Sterling. “What?”
“In the last hour, his temperature has risen two degrees. It’s a minor change, but I’ve deliberately lowered the temperature in the room in order to make sure we have the most accurate readings.”
Jared looked at Jensen’s readouts. “Okay, I’m going to insert the IV now and take a sample.”
“I’ll get the tests ready.”
Jared and Sterling suited up and entered the isolation chamber. Steve gave a wave and stood back as they crowded around Jensen.
“I need to take a blood sample,” Jared said.
Jensen paled immediately but didn’t say a word. He just held out his arm and allowed Jared to carefully insert a small IV needle. Jared siphoned off the necessary quantity before attaching a drip to the IV.
Steve’s relaxed posture was gone by the time Jared gave the two samples to Brown who had powered up the test equipment.
“I’m going to take a break,” Steve said. “But I’ll be back.”
“Must be all that coffee you’ve been chugging.” Jensen gave a wan smile, not realizing his grip on the makeshift gurney-bed was so tight his knuckles were white. He waited until Steve was out of the room before looking at Jared.
Jared took a deep breath. “Your temperature is now 100. It was ninety-eight before.”
“I always ran a little hot, but you know that.”
Jared wanted to smile at the joke but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. “Jesus, why Jensen? Why did you do this?” He turned off his voice module then bent close to Jensen. “Did Brown say something? Did he threaten you or Wentworth?
"Was that it?”
“No, he didn’t do anything, Jared,” Jensen replied quietly enough not to be overheard by Sterling. “This was my idea.”
“You know what kind of danger you’re in? Besides bleeding to death? If Sterling’s team decides to take control, we’ve got no say in it whatsoever.”
“I doubt you’ll let that happen.”
Jared saw the knowing look in Jensen’s eyes. “But that still doesn’t explain why you did this.”
“Jared, how many times have we bitched about not getting the right data while working in the field? Complaining about how we never got to Patient Zero while he or she was alive? How many times have we wanted to collect samples from the first person on the infection tree - to see what could be done with the blood serums?
“And we both know we can't waste any more time waiting for someone to show up, hoping that he or she will be the perfect Patient Zero we need for this."
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Jared retorted hoarsely. “There might be another lunatic out there, hurrying to die in gruesomely painful ways.”
“But he or she won’t be as hot as me.”
Jared couldn’t stop himself from barking out a laugh. “So, if the tests come out positive…”
“For the love of God, please give me a dose of Modi I.”
“Will do.”
Sterling motioned to Jared, indicating he was finished testing Jensen’s blood. Jared turned on his voice module and took a deep breath in order to steady himself.
“The blood work?” he asked as Sterling gave him printouts.
“Inconclusive.”
“Shit, still too early then?”
“We’ll probably have to wait another hour,” Sterling answered.
Jared looked at the paperwork detailing how big a dose of the infected blood Jensen had received. Jared knew that by exposing Jensen to concentrated serum of the contaminated blood, he would definitely be showing symptoms a great deal earlier than most of the patients who had tested positive, save for few medical personnel who were infected through exposures to gouts of blood.
Jared prepped the Modi I dose before re-checking Jensen's vitals: his body temperature had risen another degree in the last fifteen minutes.
Jared tapped the monitor. “Look at this.”
Sterling glanced at the numbers. “We still have to wait.”
Jared looked sharply at Sterling but said nothing. Instead, he returned to Jensen.
“I need another sample,” Jared said. “But not from the IV.”
“What’s up?” Jensen asked.
“I’ve got a hunch. I’m going to draw from your thigh.”
“My temperature went up again?” Jensen asked as Jared took another sample from his right inner thigh.
“By one degree.”
“But the blood work is showing nothing.”
“Yeah, so I want to take a sample from another site," Jared said. "The infection might be localized,”
"Do you want to give me a physical examination?" Jensen asked.
"Please."
Jensen took off all his clothes and allowed Jared to examine him. Jared was quick but systematic in his examination.
“Anything?” Jensen asked.
“No,” Jared admitted. “Let me test this.”
He plugged the blood in quickly to the test vials. It didn’t even take a minute before the third vial flared neon blue.
“Shit,” Jensen whispered when he saw the color change.
“Okay, let’s start with Modi I,” Sterling said. He turned on the recorder and began the official introduction to the preliminary testing of Modi I’s efficacy.
Jared waited until Sterling was done speaking before injecting Jensen with the dose.
“What clued you in?” Jensen asked.
“Just guessing,” Jared said nonchalantly as he hooked up more monitors to the patient.
“Wait a minute,” Jensen looked at Jared with wide eyes. “What? You were just going to draw blood from every limb until you had something positive?”
“Pretty much,” Jared confessed.
“There are times I wonder how you got your medical degree,” Jensen deadpanned.
Jared actually looked amused by Jensen’s declaration but said nothing. Jensen closed his eyes and laid back on the makeshift bed, taking deep breaths in order to relax himself.
Chad’s voice floated into the room. “We live?”
“We’re good to go,” Jared answered.
“All right then,” Chad said, his voice shaking badly. “Jensen, good luck, man.”
“Thank you, Chad.”
Sterling looked at the monitors and said, “The first blood draw in thirty minutes.”
Jared looked down at Jensen who was watching him with wide, frightened eyes.
Chad took the hip flask Jeff was offering and took a long drink. “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Is the C.D.C. getting all this?” Jeff asked.
“All of it’s live,” Chad answered.
“Lee knows to keep this quiet?” Steve asked.
Chad nodded. “We told him what was happening here. He’s spitting nails but he’s not stupid enough to jeopardize Jensen’s life. His boss, Dr. Khan, is storing the feed, too. Just in case.”
“Smart men,” Jeff said. “Good to have an insurance policy in a time like this.”
“Me and Chris are going to take a look around the perimeter,” Steve said. “Make sure we don’t have company we don’t care to keep.”
“Sounds good,” Jeff said. “Call me if you find something.”
“Will do.” Steve tugged his reluctant friend out of the room.
Chad watched them as they talked to each other in that freaky identical twin way before going off in opposite directions. “Must suck to be them right now.”
“No kidding,” Jeff sighed in relief. “I thought Chris was going to kill Miller.”
“Where is Miller anyway?” Chad asked.
“He’s calling some of his friends in WHO. He thinks he can find some allies who can be trusted not to blow the whistle.”
“We’re basically declaring war on a bunch of people who could make us disappear, aren’t we?” Chad asked.
“Not really,” Jeff said. “They have to work within certain parameters, mostly to keep people quiet. But now, with this god-awful mess, it’s damn near impossible.”
“So they’re outed?”
Jeff nodded. “Yep, all Brown’s doing is damage control. If they came in a day earlier, they might have been able to shut us down, but not anymore. Not with so many infected, and with us finding out why Jorgensen and Coughlin did what they did.”
“What if they want to keep it quiet? How would they go about doing that?”
Jeff’s face tightened as he looked at Chad. “I don’t even want to think about what that would take, and neither do you.”
“Okay,” Chad whispered. “So, we’re just going to hope that the people responsible for this shit won’t come to the decision to cover their asses by putting ours on the line.”
“Pretty much,” Jeff admitted. “But they probably have a contingency plan for that, too. You don’t get to play in their league without having the smarts to create a parachute.”
“Sometimes, I really hate people.”
“Why don’t we just get through today?” Jeff said kindly. “We’ll have more than enough to worry about tomorrow.”
Chad took a deep breath. “Rock-n-roll.”
“You know it, buddy.” Jeff pointed at Jared, Jensen, and Sterling on the monitor. “And they’re depending on us not losing it out here. We can’t fuck up. Not if we want Jensen to come out of this alive.”
“You got a plan after all this?” Chad asked.
“Yeah, I have some real estate in North Dakota. I’m going to take a long vacation and hibernate there until I feel like I can deal with humanity and not go on a shooting rampage.”
“Sounds a lot like my plan,” Chad chimed in.
Jeff gave a warm laugh. “What about your girlfriend? Won’t Sophia have a word or two about roughing it in the mountains?”
“Dude, I got myself a bungalow off the coast of Maine. She loves New England, even in the dead of winter.
“And the only way to get there is by boat.”
“Sounds good.”
Chad looked at Jared fretting over Jensen. “He’s got a place too, you know.”
Jeff looked at Chad in surprise. “I never heard him talk about it. Where?”
“In New Zealand,” Chad answered. “He bought if for Jensen.”
“What?”
“He and Jensen went to a conference in Dunedin. Then they took a mini-vacation there. Jensen fell in love with the country. So, Jared bought a home near Christchurch.”
“He never got the chance to tell Jensen, did he?”
Chad shook his head. “No, Jensen left him few months after Jared bought the house.”
“Did he sell?”
“No,” Chad answered. “He couldn’t bring himself to let it go.”
“Oh, man,” Jeff whispered. “How fucked up is all this?”
“Nowhere as fucked up if Jensen dies,” Chad answered. “If that happens there’s just no way Jared's going to make it. He’s probably blaming himself already because he was the one who dragged Jensen into all this.”
“Why would he think that? Didn’t the C.D.C. ask for Jensen and Miller?”
“Miller, yeah,” Chad replied. “But not Jensen.”
“What?”
“The C.D.C. didn’t know Jensen was in town. They knew Miller was because he won the award, but Jensen wasn’t scheduled to appear. The only reason Jared knew was because his brother was handling the award party.”
“Shit!” Jeff blurted out. “So why did…”
“Because he couldn’t help himself,” Chad snapped. “Because the fucking idiot doesn’t know how to let go.”
Jeff didn’t have anything to say to that, and Chad didn’t expect him to.
Jared watched as Jensen’s temperature spiked another degree. And this time Jensen was definitely showing visible signs of fever. He began having chills even as his face turned rosy.
“Want another blanket?” Jared asked.
“Yes, please,” Jensen answered, fighting to sound calm even though his teeth were chattering.
Sterling handed over another fleece blanket which Jared used to cover Jensen from neck to toe. Both he and Jared heard a beep from one of the many monitors hooked onto Jensen. They both turned to see Jensen’s heart rate had accelerated to nearly 89bpm: the initial reading was 67.
Sterling silently handed over another vial. As Jared filled it with blood, he noticed the area around the needle was swollen and angry looking.
“Sterling, look here.”
The doctor studied the site. “It’s infected.”
“We can’t pull out the needle." Jensen winced as he examined the swelling.
“We can’t keep it in either,” Jared argued. "We have to remove the IV, Jensen. Your entire arm might go septic in few hours."
“I’m going to need water in twenty-four hours if not less,” Jensen countered. “Otherwise, dehydration is going to screw up the study.”
“Modi I should be done by then.” Jared looked pleadingly at Jensen. “We have to.”
“Okay,” Jensen said reluctantly. “We’re going to have a problem with the bleeding when the IV is removed.”
Sterling looked startled by Jensen's comment. He looked at Jared. “Shit, do we have anything to handle that?”
Jared closed his eyes. “No, if anyone became infected within the compound, the plan was to fly them out to the nearest facility capable of handling the patient.”
“Sandbagging?” Jensen offered weakly. “Maybe a five-pounder?”
“The pressure might tear open the wound even further,” Jared said. “And you could bleed into the cavity. If that happens…”
“I go septic in a few hours and screw up the study and maybe die in the process,” Jensen concluded.
“We’ll give you a dose of the strongest antibiotic we’ve got,” Sterling said. “We’ll leave the needle in for now because we’re going to keep drawing blood. But once it gets bad enough, we’ll remove the IV and … improvise.
“Dr. Padalecki - that sound good to you?”
Jared remained silent for only a moment. “Yeah, let’s do that.”
He looked at Jensen who slowly curled into a fetal position, trying to make himself warmer. Jared leaned over and whispered Jensen’s name.
“What?” Jensen asked weakly.
“Don’t die on me.”
Jensen’s brave façade crumbled only for a moment. He whispered back, “I won’t die. Not today.”
Two hours later Jared was wondering if Jensen would be able to keep his promise. His fever had plateaued but the wound had grown to twice its original size.
Sterling looked at Jared. “We have to take it out.”
“Okay,” Jared agreed. “But we should take one more blood sample.”
With swift, sure movements, Sterling filled a vial before pulling out the IV needle before wrapping an ice-cold bandage around the hand. Then he placed a small cold compress on top in order to slow down the bleeding.
Jensen didn’t wake up. He had fallen asleep only minutes before: a victim to his body's self-preservation as it kicked in full force.
Jared studied the blood and saw all-out war as Modi I slowly and systematically hunted down the filovirus and infected them with the new RNA sequence.
“So Modi I works,” Sterling said as he watched the battle on screen.
“The question is will it work fast enough.” Jared knew only too well that even if Modi I was successful in the end, the patient could still die because his body was too damaged.
“Do you want to go with a second injection?” Sterling asked.
Jared shook his head. He knew the old adage of ‘too much of a good thing can hurt you’ applied only too well in the world of medicine. “No, let’s see how the first round does. If there’s too many of Modi I, they might not be so successful in going after the filovirus.”
There was also the unspoken fear that, in spite of their best guesswork, the filovirus could somehow successfully mutate due to overexposure and render Modi I useless. It wasn’t a reasonable fear, of course, but its potency was enough for Jared to reject the idea of giving Jensen a second dose of Modi I.
Jared looked at Jensen’s huddled form. “Let’s get the cooling blankets. We could at least bring his fever down.”
Sterling took them out of the fridge and ripped open the plastic casings. Jared carefully took off the fleece blankets, making sure Jensen didn’t wake. He didn’t want Jensen to be conscious when they placed the cold blankets on top of him.
After making sure Jensen was covered with three cooling blankets, Jared examined the infected wound. The bleeding was sluggish but as he feared, it didn’t look like it was going to stop any time soon. He studied Jensen’s face to see if the man was in any discomfort, but mercifully, Jensen slept right through their ministrations.
In the harsh fluorescent light, Jensen’s pallor made him look young - too young to be playing chicken with death. And, unless Jared was mistaken, Jensen’s freckles seemed to have doubled since he left Washington DC. The little flecks were even in his ears.
Jared found that strangely endearing. Even though he knew he couldn’t feel anything with his gloves, Jared traced the few sprinkled on Jensen’s nose. He remembered how often Jensen bitched about them, and his humorous responses to Jensen acting like a fourteen-year-old girl.
I know I keep saying this when you’re not around to listen, but I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry for everything.
Jared took another glance at Jensen’s monitors before sitting down. Then he and Sterling went back to work, making educated guesses about things that had no intelligence whatsoever: only lethal intentions their creators gave them.
Washington, DC
January 2005
Jensen hung up after listening to Jared’s rather sappy voicemail. He sighed, wondering what Jared had done now. In truth, Jensen knew there were only two things: Jared cheated, again, or Jared was in one of his moods.
Why so cynical? Jensen asked himself. Maybe Jared finally came to his senses.
Jensen was surprised by how bitter his laugh was. He dumped his luggage in the bedroom before strolling into the kitchen to discover a freshly-brewed pot of coffee waiting for him.
Jensen's sense of unease grew.
Jared, for all his intelligence, had a hard time programming Jensen’s coffee maker. He’d tried twice before, and the machine ended up brewing coffee at three in the morning and at eleven in the afternoon when neither of them were home. After that, Jared just let Jensen program the ‘Machine from Hell’ for both of them.
Jensen made a cup for himself before flipping through three days worth of mail. He looked at the alumni letter from Georgetown, trying to entice him into the fifteen-year reunion. For a moment Jensen was tempted to go. He made very few friends, and lost contact with them after Danneel’s death. Jensen wondered how they would react to Jared.
They’d probably wonder what the hell brought us together.
Jensen had to admit he’d thought of that very question too often after he’d moved in with Jared. At first, he was able to ignore the nagging doubts, but he was no fool and Jensen quickly realized Jared was incapable of remaining faithful. He wondered if Jared ever would be, and if he would be the one that would make Jared see that his destructive behavior was hurting more than just Jensen.
With a tired sigh Jensen dumped all the unread junk mail into the recycling bin, only to watch them fall out of the overflowing trashcan.
“Fuck!” Jensen kicked the can in irritation before bending down to clean up the mess. He was about to dump the stack back into the bin when a familiar envelope caught his attention.
Jensen frowned as he took the envelope from the garbage can. Why does this laboratory look familiar?
Suddenly he remembered where he’d heard the name. Jensen knew the company by reputation as Chris once talked about how many of his buddies used it to find out if they were fathers or not.
Jensen opened it and read the terse but informative letter. There were no names mentioned, only number tags, but he knew there was only one person who recently had a baby. Now Jensen knew why Jared was so firm about Sandy taking the time off, and the uncomfortable tension between the two during the Christmas party.
Jesus Christ, they were fucking while she was married.
And Jensen could make an intelligent guess as to why Sandy ended up with Jason instead of Jared. Because, deep down in her heart, she knew that her love wasn’t enough for Jared to keep it in his pants. That, no matter what Jared promised, in the end he’d stray from her side.
And she’d known him for years while I knew him for less than two. And people call me a genius.
Jensen sat on the kitchen floor and stared at the envelope. He wanted to be angry, to be pissed off enough to wait for Jared to come home and knock loose few of his teeth before storming out, but he couldn’t spare the energy. No, he needed to shore up everything he had to do what he should have done when he first suspected Jared was being unfaithful.
Jensen began packing.
Jared immediately knew something was wrong when he entered the brownstone. Jensen had flown in earlier and was suppose to pick up the dogs from the sitter. So, Harley and Sadie should have been scrambling all over him the moment he opened the door. Instead, there was only dusty silence to greet him.
“Yo, Jensen, you home?”
Even as Jared spoke out loud he knew Jensen wasn’t. Feeling anxiety trickle down his back, Jared quickly went upstairs to their bedroom. He saw the half-empty closet.
“What the fuck?”
Jared stormed to the basement and discovered Jensen’s makeshift office bare of any of his partner’s belongings. He took out his cell and called Jensen only to have it go to voicemail. He went to his office to check on his computer. He found an envelope sitting on the keyboard with Jensen's neat handwriting spelling out his name. Jared pocketed his cell and unfolded the letter.
I wish I could say you broke my heart and that’s why I’m leaving, but that would be a lie. The truth is I don’t like what I’ve become with you. I’m tired of wondering if the next person you’re fucking behind my back will be my replacement. I’m tired of hoping that you’d finally come around and settle down with me. I guess I’m tired of being your bitch.
I’ve mailed my resignation letter. I don’t expect a glowing recommendation from you but I do expect you to be civil. Don’t call me. That way I can keep some happy memories of our time together. You owe me that much, I think.
It was an honor working with you, and in that respect I’m very glad we met. I just wish I could say that about our private life.
I wish you the best, and I sincerely hope you do find someone who’ll make you happy enough to realize how fragile love really is.
~ Jensen
Jared stared at the brief letter into the evening and remained in his chair until his sitter called, wondering when Jensen would come by to pick up Harley and Sadie.
Part V * Conclusion
Pairing: JA/JP, JP/OC
Rating: R for violence and language.
Warning: AU
Disclaimer: Complete fiction, and I'm hoping it stays that way.
Summary: The hemorrhagic fever has been discovered in Western Washington. The team assigned to stopping this virulent disease discovers not only was the plague deliberately introduced to the human population, but it may have been the government that began the tragedy.
Main Post
Day Six
“So, this thing Jensen made is going to attack the filovirus and make it disappear?” Chad’s question managed to earn a wan smile from his exhausted friend.
“Not really,” Jared said. “There is no need to attack since the filovirus doesn’t recognize Modi I as a threat. As far as it’s concerned, Modi I is just another filovirus.”
“So, what does Modi I do exactly?” Chad frowned as he watched unidentifiable blurs come into focus on the large screen. “Dude, what’s with the lame name? Modi I? Why not Death Dealer or…”
“Modi is short for modification, and I designates first generation,” Jared explained patiently. “And here we go.”
Chad looked at the screen again as Jared approached the monitor. He still couldn’t tell the difference since everything looked like squiggles to him.
“There,” Jared said, pointing at what looked like a filovirus. “That’s Modi I, and there and there.”
“What … dude, is it banging the…”
This time Jared laughed. “No, it’s almost like gene therapy. The filovirus doesn’t recognize Modi I as a threat because Modi I is genetically engineered to fly under its radar." Jared pointed to a specific virus on screen. "Look, Modi I makes physical contact, and there, you see? It's injecting new RNA sequence into the filovirus, rendering it neutral.”
“That sounds like AIDs,” Chad said, fascinated by what he was watching.
“Very much like AIDs, except Modi I specifically targets Coughlin’s creation.”
“What if the virus mutates? Can Modi I mutate to match it?”
“No, but it doesn’t need to. It’s targeting the virus as it’s transcribing for the first time. That’s when this particular strain is most virulent. It gets weaker with each new generation, like the Hantavirus Brown was talking about. If the patient survives the first wave, then he or she has better chance of surviving the next mutation and so forth.”
“But nobody’s surviving the first wave.” Chad slowly rose out of his chair as he began comprehending what he was seeing. “So it’s not a total cure, but the patients who are already infected will at least have a chance survive.”
“Yes, and you have to admit: it's a huge improvement from a fatality rate of one hundred percent.”
“But won’t they become carriers for the rest of their lives?”
“Probably, or until we find another cure. But still, you saw the latest figures, right?”
Chad’s face darkened. “Nearly seventeen thousand infected, and half are medical personnel. Jesus, if they die then it won’t just be the fucking hemorrhagic fever that’ll start packing in the morgues.”
“No,” Jared whispered. “Surgeries will come to a halt, along with chronic medical treatment, including cancer. Accident victims won’t survive a day because there will be no competent personnel to treat them. Hemorrhagic fever will be the last of their worries if the doctors and the nurses start dropping like flies and hospitals shut down.”
“Did you ever think this hellish mess was engineered to take them out?” Chad asked.
“Yeah, that thought crossed my mind.”
“You know, I’ve worked with you since we met in college,” Chad whispered. “And I’ve met some sick sons of bitches because of my job, but this … this is beyond anything we've come across.
“Why did they do this?”
“Because Jorgensen and Coughlin were scared for their lives,” Jared said. “Because they thought they could play God in their little world and believed nobody would get hurt.”
“But they built a Doomsday plague,” Chad said. “They must have known what they were doing was not only dangerous, but just wrong.”
“They got a pass their entire lives, Chad, because they were so smart. People just let them do what they wanted and nobody thought to do otherwise because none of them realized that being smart doesn’t mean being wise, or possessing a conscience.
“You’d be amazed what shit we’re allowed to get away with, just because of a high I.Q.”
“Dude, you’re nothing like those maniacs,” Chad quickly said.
“Not so much, no,” Jared agreed sadly. “But I understand them more than I’m comfortable with.”
“So, what’s next?”
“Wentworth and Jensen will take it into trial stages.”
“You mean animal testing?”
“No, no time,” Jared said. “They’re scoping out people who have onset of the first symptoms.”
“Jesus Christ.” Chad looked at the screen where Modi I was dutifully performing what it was designed to do. “We’re really that screwed?”
“Yeah, we’re that screwed.”
Jared was tired enough not to see where he was going. So, it didn’t surprise him when he turned a corner and slammed into Wentworth. However, it was he, not the thin Brit, who bounced off the wall.
“Sorry,” Wentworth curtly said as he helped Jared get his bearings.
He’s pissed, Jared realized. “Anything I can do to help?”
Wentworth paused for a moment before replying, “No, but thank you for the offer.”
“Have you seen Brown?”
“He’s with Jensen,” Wentworth answered. “It’s best not to disturb them right now.”
“Okay.”
Wentworth's odd statement puzzled Jared but he didn't give much thought to it as he made his way to the showers. The hot water worked miracles for his fuzzy mind, and Jared started to wonder what Brown and Jensen could be doing that wouldn’t require either his or Wentworth’s presence.
And piss off Miller to such a degree that the man almost ran Jared over without a thought.
Jared was dressing when the answer struck him.
“No,” he said aloud to the empty bathroom. “No fucking way.”
Jared didn’t bother to put on his sneakers. Instead, he ran down to the end of the hallway and slammed opened the doors to the isolation lab. He looked at the monitors to see who was working in the Level Four Unit.
Two people: Brown and Jensen. But Jensen wasn’t in a suit. He was in hospital greens.
“Fuck no,” Jared whispered.
He ran into the decon chamber and systematically put on the space suit, pacing nervously as it took the security system two minutes to clear him.
Sterling was ready for Jared’s stormy entrance.
“You bastard,” Jared shouted at him. “What did you do?”
“I volunteered,” Jensen answered calmly. “Brown had nothing to do with this.”
His answer didn't mollify Jared at all. “How in hell could you agree to this?!”
“We needed a specific subject for a controlled study,” Sterling said.
“Why Jensen? Why not ask me or Chad…”
“Because your expertise is required for future services.”
“And mine ended when we coded in the RNA sequence into Modi I,” Jensen added. “I’m of no use to you now.”
Jared looked at Jensen, his shock clearly visible. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dr. Brown, can we have some privacy? And I think you should be in the front room. Since all our voice modules are networked, Chad will definitely have heard Jared.”
“Of course, contact me if you need anything.”
With that Sterling left the room.
“Like I said, I volunteered,” Jensen explained. “But they insisted on drawing straws.”
“When…”
“Nearly forty minutes ago,” Jensen said. “I’m already dosed, Jared. There’s nothing you can do.”
“We have thousands of patients we could…”
“You know as well as I do what it means to have a test subject from the first second of infection. And we can hardly transplant this lab and the C.D.C.’s to wherever the patient’s located. That would be enormous waste of time and resources. And let’s face it - we’ve run out of time two days ago.”
“You fucking shit for brains,” Jared said, his voice trembling badly. “Do you realize what you’ve just done?”
“Infected myself with hemorrhagic fever.”
“And even if you’re cured, you’re a carrier, you know that. Maybe for life.”
“Like thousands of others, then.”
“And if this doesn’t work…”
“I’ll still be like thousands, maybe millions, of others.”
“When are you getting Modi I?”
“When the first symptom appears.”
“Why did you spare me? Or Chris or Steve?”
“Like Brown said - you’re too valuable. And if shit hits the fan, you guys are going to need Chris and Steve to get you out.”
“Chad?” Jared asked.
“He would never have volunteered,” Jensen answered. “And he’s a civilian.”
“Wentworth?”
“His system’s too weak. If this thing hits his brain, he’ll be paralyzed. I know you hate being reminded but he’s still the leader of this team, and you’re going to need him to work on Modi I, since he helped me create the virus.”
Jared closed his eyes. “Jesus Christ.”
“Jared, the best thing you can do for me right now is to work on Modi I. See if there could be a better delivery system for it.”
“To shorten the infection time,” Jared added. “Yeah, I know.”
“Brown will have me on observation. When the first symptoms appear, he’s going to need Modi I. I’d appreciate it if it’s polished and ready to go by then.”
Jared gently touched Jensen's shoulders with his gloved hands. For the first time in his life, Jared wished he could touch his patient. “When this is over, we’re going to have ourselves a serious talk.”
“Somehow, I don’t see you waiting that long.”
“Fuck you,” Jared said hoarsely and without a drop of rancor.
As he entered the lab, he spotted Sterling already occupied with work. “If Jensen dies, you’re not walking out of here alive.”
“If Jensen dies, I doubt any of us are going to be walking out of here alive.”
“Is that a threat?”
Sterling looked up from the microscope. “No, but we both know the endgame should Modi I fail.”
Jared swallowed his retort. He had no time to waste and Jensen’s request for a better delivery system was more than justified. The faster Modi I could work, the better chance Jensen has of complete recovery. Even if Modi I managed to wipe out the filovirus, it could still damage the kidneys and other organs, especially the brain.
“You fuck!” Chris hollered.
Jared turned to see Chris storming into the lab, trailed by Steve who put a restraining hand on his friend’s shoulder. It must have worked because Chris didn’t enter further. He raised a finger at Sterling. “We’re not done yet. When this is over, I’m gonna have some private time with you.”
“Chris, let them do their work,” Steve pleaded. “C’mon, man, don’t waste their time. Not now.”
Chris looked darkly at Sterling but said nothing as he followed Steve out of the lab. Jared didn’t bother looking at Brown. He knew Chris well enough to know the man was going to keep his word. And Jared was sure Sterling was well aware of the fact.
“I’ll be right back,” Jared said as he went to seek out Wentworth.
He marched down the hall, looking for the Brit. It took him only seconds to find the man in the makeshift kitchen, warming his coffee in the microwave.
Jared didn’t care about Wentworth’s physical condition, or the fact that the man weighed sixty pounds less than him.
With one hard grasp Jared spun Wentworth around. “How could you let him do it? Why didn’t you stop him?”
Wentworth looked at Jared with cold, unreadable eyes. “And how could I stop Jensen? Have you ever tried doing that? Restrain him from doing something he wants? I have. And each occasion, I’ve failed.”
“You could’ve called me. Asked for help. What Jensen is doing is tantamount to suicide!”
“Not if Modi…”
“Fuck Modi I!” Jared roared. “Fuck this entire godforsaken mess. You love him! And when you love someone you’re not supposed to put a gun next to his head and start pulling the trigger!
“What’s the matter with you?!”
“It was Jensen’s decision, and what I wanted…”
“It wasn’t his decision!” Jared yelled. “It should never have come to that in the first place!”
“Jared, what’s done is done,” Wentworth said calmly. “We can’t afford to waste time like this. If Jensen’s to survive the next twenty-four hours, I suggest we cooperate with each other and work quickly.”
Jared looked at Wentworth and realized the man truly did not understand the depth of his anger. He stepped back, wide-eyed and horrified. Jesus Christ, he really doesn’t get it. He has absolutely no fucking clue why I’m ready to tear him apart.
Without another word, Jared walked to the front room where he found Chad talking with Steve and Chris.
Looking a little green around the edges, Chad turned to Jared and said, “What the fuck?”
“You and me both,” Jared said. “Is all the data uploaded? I need everything and I mean everything.”
“It’s all current and live,” Chad answered. “If you need me to do something else, just holler.”
"Thanks,” Jared said. He turned to Chris and Steve. “Can I talk with you guys for a minute?”
Steve dragged his reluctant friend to a small conference room. “What do you need?”
“I want one of you to always be with Jensen. Don’t leave him alone with Brown, not even for a second. If you need to take a piss - get the other one to come in.”
“What’s worrying you, exactly?” Chris asked. “Because I'm getting the feeling things could get worse.”
“Look, Jensen is now officially a control subject,” Jared answered. “This entire fucking mess made everything unpredictable, including what you and I think of as basic human rights. If the outfit Brown works for decides to swoop in and take over, there isn’t much we can do to stop them.”
Steve closed his eyes and moaned, “Fuckity fuck.”
“No matter what happens, we can’t let Jensen out of our care,” Jared said in a pained voice. “Do you understand?”
“Yeah, we do,” Chris answered. “Nobody gets to him without your okay, then?”
“Pretty much. I’ll be working back there so I’ll keep tabs on Brown, but just in case - you hear what I’m saying?”
“Loud and clear,” Chris said. “Okay, then. I’ll suit up for the first two hours.”
“I’ll do the next two and we’ll keep that rotation until ten in the evening. Then we’ll switch to four-four,” Steve said.
“Good, if Brown asks why you’re doing this - well, I’m sure you could come up with something halfway believable.”
“Again, not a problem,” Steve said. “Go, do what you have to so Jensen’s out of this mess. It’s the only way we’ll ever get a chance to kick his crazy ass.”
Jared barked a lean laugh. “Sounds good. Thanks.”
Steve and Chris left, talking to each other in low voices. Jared didn’t need to hear their conversation: he trusted them, and it was nice to have finally earned theirs.
Steve came to relieve Chris after the first two hours. He chatted amiably with Jensen as the patient powered up a laptop.
“Thanks for getting me this,” Jensen said. “I was dying of boredom.”
“So Chris isn’t entertaining as he thinks he is?”
Jensen gave a tired smile. “I could hear him grinding his teeth together so he wouldn’t yell at me.”
“Jensen, you do realize what you did firmly belongs in the realm of suicidal masochism, right?”
“Steve, I don’t want to have this conversation with you too.”
“Hey, fine with me.” Steve looked around the room and said, “So, about Jared…”
Jensen sighed, reached over and turned off Steve’s voice module so the conversation wouldn’t be recorded for everyone to hear down the road.
“What about Jared?”
“The guy’s having serious problems and from what I can see - they’re all about you.”
“Gee, thanks. I’ve done nothing to cause…”
“You’re fucking kidding me. You just hopped yourself on Level Four contagion. I think that warrants a little concern from him.”
“We had and still have a complicated relationship,” Jensen said.
“Easy to fuck up, hard to fix is what you’re saying,” Steve drawled.
“If I shut up, will you?”
Steve paused as if to consider Jensen’s offer. “No.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Jensen looked at Steve. “So, what do you think of him now?”
“Back when you guys were living together? I thought he was a great guy to hang out with. To date? Not so much.”
“You guessed he was playing the field?”
Steve shrugged and leaned back. “No, it’s just that when I met him, I got vibes that told me he wasn’t really interested in settling down.”
“I always wondered why he did.”
“Because he was in love with you, jackass.”
Jensen looked at his friend. “That makes no sense. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have fucked around behind my back.”
“I hate to say it, but those two ideas don't always walk down the aisle side by side,” Steve said. “Look, you, Jensen Ross Ackles, are a special case, especially among those of us with dicks. The truth is not everyone’s so … dedicated as you.”
“I’m still waiting for an explanation.”
“If there was another guy with your looks and credentials, he’d be roaring around town, partying like it’s 1999. You don’t. I’m guessing it’s got something to do with Danneel and how you were raised, but you’re the type to nest the moment you begin something serious.
“And Jared isn’t, or I should say wasn’t.”
“Then why did he ask me to live with him?”
Steve looked at his friend with pity as he heard the pain in Jensen’s voice. “Because he knew he’d lose you if he didn’t. The unfortunate truth was he wasn’t ready for that kind of relationship. Not then, anyway.”
“He is now?” Jensen asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know,” Steve answered truthfully. “But we all get old, Jensen. And he’s looking down the long road of life with nobody to take the trip with. That would make anyone stop and reconsider his actions.”
“But he isn’t alone,” Jensen whispered. “He has a son.”
“I’m sorry, did you just say Jared has a son?”
Jensen nodded. “I found out accidentally that Jensen’s the father of Sandy’s baby boy - Sam. I couldn’t keep on pretending after that.”
“Jesus Christ. Of all the stupid fucking things … he’s a doctor! Doesn’t he know what safe sex means?”
“I don’t know what the arrangements are between him and Sandy, but Jared has a son, Steve. How could I possibly ignore that?”
“You can’t,” Steve agreed. “Man, it must have been hard for you. You never told me why you just upped and left him, not to mention the States, but I figured it must’ve been something pretty fucking awful.”
“Anyway, it’s over now,” Jensen said.
“I agree, what you two had before is definitely over,” Steve gave a piercing look at his friend. “But something tells me you guys are starting up all over again.”
“I’m not stupid enough for round two,” Jensen said.
“Maybe, maybe not,” Steve said. “But Jared’s already in the ring, and he’s rarin’ to go.”
“I think what I’ve done changes all that.”
“Like hell it does,” Steve said. “Don’t see Jared backing off because you suddenly went stupid. Oh, by the way, climb down the goddamn cross. Jesus doesn’t appreciate people taking his place.”
Jensen’s laughter was weak but genuine. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Give the man a prize,” Steve said with a grin. “But what’s done is done. Let’s just fix this fucking mess and go home.”
Jared studiously ignored the only other person in the lab as he worked furiously to see if the fourth delivery system he’d created would do a better job.
“I think we’re going to have to settle for Modi I,” Sterling declared as he finished studying Modi III.
“What’s the problem?”
“Both Modi II and III are having problems identifying the filovirus.”
“Are they correctly delivering the sequence, though?”
“Yes.”
Jared closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Are they delivering faster?”
“No, Modi I is still the fastest.”
Jared sighed. “Why is that?”
“We’re dealing with a very basic viral delivery system,” Sterling answered. “Maybe the moment we over-tinker, the entire thing falls apart.”
“Let’s get Miller in here.”
Wentworth listened to Sterling’s findings and then looked at the results. “He’s right. There is only so much we can program the virus to do.”
“So Modi I, then?” Jared asked.
Wentworth nodded. “Yes, Jensen might have pulled that thing together under terrific pressure, but that doesn’t mean his work isn’t solid. I don’t think we can improve upon it.”
“All right then, Modi I,” Jared said. “I’ll tell Jensen.”
Wentworth looked like he wanted to say something but refrained. Instead, he quietly left the lab. Sterling looked at the closing door and softly said,
“You know, he’s not the bad guy here. Nobody is.”
“I beg to differ,” Jared snapped. “I can list plenty of assholes who need to spend the rest of their lives in jail, but hey, that’s just me.”
“Did anyone ever tell you, you can be one hell of a pissy bitch?”
“Did anyone ever tell you, you just about raped the Hippocratic Oath with what you’ve done?”
Sterling’s face tightened visibly. “It’s war, Dr. Padalecki. And the side that blinks first, loses. So get off your fucking high horse and start dealing with reality.”
“Hey, whatever helps you get through the day.”
Instead of continuing their argument, Sterling shook his head then returned to his work without another word. Jared forced himself to keep quiet. The last thing he wanted to do was aggravate Sterling enough for the man to call in for reinforcements.
Chad came into the lab. “The final updates you asked me for? They’re done.”
“Thanks,” Jared said, keeping his voice neutral even as his heart rate accelerated.
He’d asked Chad to plant e-mails that would automatically go out to all the major health organizations every thirty minutes. These e-mails would contain detailed information on what they were doing and why. Jared knew he didn't have enough clout to break the media blackout imposed by the government, and that presented the greatest threat to Wentworth’s team since it gave Sterling’s outfit opportunities to swoop in and completely take over.
If that were to happen Jared knew Jensen would never be seen again, or at least alive. And the only way to ensure Jensen's safety was to make sure they were under a global microscope. With so many powerful people watching what was unfolding in Bellevue, Sterling’s team couldn’t make a move. Or at least do so without repercussions.
Chad looked at the monitor and saw Jensen talking with Steve. “I still can’t believe he did it.”
“That places you in the majority.”
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Chad.”
Sterling seemed to have completely ignored the exchange so Jared returned to his work.
“Jensen’s temperature is rising.”
Jared’s attention to his work completely disintegrated. He turned to Sterling. “What?”
“In the last hour, his temperature has risen two degrees. It’s a minor change, but I’ve deliberately lowered the temperature in the room in order to make sure we have the most accurate readings.”
Jared looked at Jensen’s readouts. “Okay, I’m going to insert the IV now and take a sample.”
“I’ll get the tests ready.”
Jared and Sterling suited up and entered the isolation chamber. Steve gave a wave and stood back as they crowded around Jensen.
“I need to take a blood sample,” Jared said.
Jensen paled immediately but didn’t say a word. He just held out his arm and allowed Jared to carefully insert a small IV needle. Jared siphoned off the necessary quantity before attaching a drip to the IV.
Steve’s relaxed posture was gone by the time Jared gave the two samples to Brown who had powered up the test equipment.
“I’m going to take a break,” Steve said. “But I’ll be back.”
“Must be all that coffee you’ve been chugging.” Jensen gave a wan smile, not realizing his grip on the makeshift gurney-bed was so tight his knuckles were white. He waited until Steve was out of the room before looking at Jared.
Jared took a deep breath. “Your temperature is now 100. It was ninety-eight before.”
“I always ran a little hot, but you know that.”
Jared wanted to smile at the joke but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. “Jesus, why Jensen? Why did you do this?” He turned off his voice module then bent close to Jensen. “Did Brown say something? Did he threaten you or Wentworth?
"Was that it?”
“No, he didn’t do anything, Jared,” Jensen replied quietly enough not to be overheard by Sterling. “This was my idea.”
“You know what kind of danger you’re in? Besides bleeding to death? If Sterling’s team decides to take control, we’ve got no say in it whatsoever.”
“I doubt you’ll let that happen.”
Jared saw the knowing look in Jensen’s eyes. “But that still doesn’t explain why you did this.”
“Jared, how many times have we bitched about not getting the right data while working in the field? Complaining about how we never got to Patient Zero while he or she was alive? How many times have we wanted to collect samples from the first person on the infection tree - to see what could be done with the blood serums?
“And we both know we can't waste any more time waiting for someone to show up, hoping that he or she will be the perfect Patient Zero we need for this."
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Jared retorted hoarsely. “There might be another lunatic out there, hurrying to die in gruesomely painful ways.”
“But he or she won’t be as hot as me.”
Jared couldn’t stop himself from barking out a laugh. “So, if the tests come out positive…”
“For the love of God, please give me a dose of Modi I.”
“Will do.”
Sterling motioned to Jared, indicating he was finished testing Jensen’s blood. Jared turned on his voice module and took a deep breath in order to steady himself.
“The blood work?” he asked as Sterling gave him printouts.
“Inconclusive.”
“Shit, still too early then?”
“We’ll probably have to wait another hour,” Sterling answered.
Jared looked at the paperwork detailing how big a dose of the infected blood Jensen had received. Jared knew that by exposing Jensen to concentrated serum of the contaminated blood, he would definitely be showing symptoms a great deal earlier than most of the patients who had tested positive, save for few medical personnel who were infected through exposures to gouts of blood.
Jared prepped the Modi I dose before re-checking Jensen's vitals: his body temperature had risen another degree in the last fifteen minutes.
Jared tapped the monitor. “Look at this.”
Sterling glanced at the numbers. “We still have to wait.”
Jared looked sharply at Sterling but said nothing. Instead, he returned to Jensen.
“I need another sample,” Jared said. “But not from the IV.”
“What’s up?” Jensen asked.
“I’ve got a hunch. I’m going to draw from your thigh.”
“My temperature went up again?” Jensen asked as Jared took another sample from his right inner thigh.
“By one degree.”
“But the blood work is showing nothing.”
“Yeah, so I want to take a sample from another site," Jared said. "The infection might be localized,”
"Do you want to give me a physical examination?" Jensen asked.
"Please."
Jensen took off all his clothes and allowed Jared to examine him. Jared was quick but systematic in his examination.
“Anything?” Jensen asked.
“No,” Jared admitted. “Let me test this.”
He plugged the blood in quickly to the test vials. It didn’t even take a minute before the third vial flared neon blue.
“Shit,” Jensen whispered when he saw the color change.
“Okay, let’s start with Modi I,” Sterling said. He turned on the recorder and began the official introduction to the preliminary testing of Modi I’s efficacy.
Jared waited until Sterling was done speaking before injecting Jensen with the dose.
“What clued you in?” Jensen asked.
“Just guessing,” Jared said nonchalantly as he hooked up more monitors to the patient.
“Wait a minute,” Jensen looked at Jared with wide eyes. “What? You were just going to draw blood from every limb until you had something positive?”
“Pretty much,” Jared confessed.
“There are times I wonder how you got your medical degree,” Jensen deadpanned.
Jared actually looked amused by Jensen’s declaration but said nothing. Jensen closed his eyes and laid back on the makeshift bed, taking deep breaths in order to relax himself.
Chad’s voice floated into the room. “We live?”
“We’re good to go,” Jared answered.
“All right then,” Chad said, his voice shaking badly. “Jensen, good luck, man.”
“Thank you, Chad.”
Sterling looked at the monitors and said, “The first blood draw in thirty minutes.”
Jared looked down at Jensen who was watching him with wide, frightened eyes.
Chad took the hip flask Jeff was offering and took a long drink. “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Is the C.D.C. getting all this?” Jeff asked.
“All of it’s live,” Chad answered.
“Lee knows to keep this quiet?” Steve asked.
Chad nodded. “We told him what was happening here. He’s spitting nails but he’s not stupid enough to jeopardize Jensen’s life. His boss, Dr. Khan, is storing the feed, too. Just in case.”
“Smart men,” Jeff said. “Good to have an insurance policy in a time like this.”
“Me and Chris are going to take a look around the perimeter,” Steve said. “Make sure we don’t have company we don’t care to keep.”
“Sounds good,” Jeff said. “Call me if you find something.”
“Will do.” Steve tugged his reluctant friend out of the room.
Chad watched them as they talked to each other in that freaky identical twin way before going off in opposite directions. “Must suck to be them right now.”
“No kidding,” Jeff sighed in relief. “I thought Chris was going to kill Miller.”
“Where is Miller anyway?” Chad asked.
“He’s calling some of his friends in WHO. He thinks he can find some allies who can be trusted not to blow the whistle.”
“We’re basically declaring war on a bunch of people who could make us disappear, aren’t we?” Chad asked.
“Not really,” Jeff said. “They have to work within certain parameters, mostly to keep people quiet. But now, with this god-awful mess, it’s damn near impossible.”
“So they’re outed?”
Jeff nodded. “Yep, all Brown’s doing is damage control. If they came in a day earlier, they might have been able to shut us down, but not anymore. Not with so many infected, and with us finding out why Jorgensen and Coughlin did what they did.”
“What if they want to keep it quiet? How would they go about doing that?”
Jeff’s face tightened as he looked at Chad. “I don’t even want to think about what that would take, and neither do you.”
“Okay,” Chad whispered. “So, we’re just going to hope that the people responsible for this shit won’t come to the decision to cover their asses by putting ours on the line.”
“Pretty much,” Jeff admitted. “But they probably have a contingency plan for that, too. You don’t get to play in their league without having the smarts to create a parachute.”
“Sometimes, I really hate people.”
“Why don’t we just get through today?” Jeff said kindly. “We’ll have more than enough to worry about tomorrow.”
Chad took a deep breath. “Rock-n-roll.”
“You know it, buddy.” Jeff pointed at Jared, Jensen, and Sterling on the monitor. “And they’re depending on us not losing it out here. We can’t fuck up. Not if we want Jensen to come out of this alive.”
“You got a plan after all this?” Chad asked.
“Yeah, I have some real estate in North Dakota. I’m going to take a long vacation and hibernate there until I feel like I can deal with humanity and not go on a shooting rampage.”
“Sounds a lot like my plan,” Chad chimed in.
Jeff gave a warm laugh. “What about your girlfriend? Won’t Sophia have a word or two about roughing it in the mountains?”
“Dude, I got myself a bungalow off the coast of Maine. She loves New England, even in the dead of winter.
“And the only way to get there is by boat.”
“Sounds good.”
Chad looked at Jared fretting over Jensen. “He’s got a place too, you know.”
Jeff looked at Chad in surprise. “I never heard him talk about it. Where?”
“In New Zealand,” Chad answered. “He bought if for Jensen.”
“What?”
“He and Jensen went to a conference in Dunedin. Then they took a mini-vacation there. Jensen fell in love with the country. So, Jared bought a home near Christchurch.”
“He never got the chance to tell Jensen, did he?”
Chad shook his head. “No, Jensen left him few months after Jared bought the house.”
“Did he sell?”
“No,” Chad answered. “He couldn’t bring himself to let it go.”
“Oh, man,” Jeff whispered. “How fucked up is all this?”
“Nowhere as fucked up if Jensen dies,” Chad answered. “If that happens there’s just no way Jared's going to make it. He’s probably blaming himself already because he was the one who dragged Jensen into all this.”
“Why would he think that? Didn’t the C.D.C. ask for Jensen and Miller?”
“Miller, yeah,” Chad replied. “But not Jensen.”
“What?”
“The C.D.C. didn’t know Jensen was in town. They knew Miller was because he won the award, but Jensen wasn’t scheduled to appear. The only reason Jared knew was because his brother was handling the award party.”
“Shit!” Jeff blurted out. “So why did…”
“Because he couldn’t help himself,” Chad snapped. “Because the fucking idiot doesn’t know how to let go.”
Jeff didn’t have anything to say to that, and Chad didn’t expect him to.
Jared watched as Jensen’s temperature spiked another degree. And this time Jensen was definitely showing visible signs of fever. He began having chills even as his face turned rosy.
“Want another blanket?” Jared asked.
“Yes, please,” Jensen answered, fighting to sound calm even though his teeth were chattering.
Sterling handed over another fleece blanket which Jared used to cover Jensen from neck to toe. Both he and Jared heard a beep from one of the many monitors hooked onto Jensen. They both turned to see Jensen’s heart rate had accelerated to nearly 89bpm: the initial reading was 67.
Sterling silently handed over another vial. As Jared filled it with blood, he noticed the area around the needle was swollen and angry looking.
“Sterling, look here.”
The doctor studied the site. “It’s infected.”
“We can’t pull out the needle." Jensen winced as he examined the swelling.
“We can’t keep it in either,” Jared argued. "We have to remove the IV, Jensen. Your entire arm might go septic in few hours."
“I’m going to need water in twenty-four hours if not less,” Jensen countered. “Otherwise, dehydration is going to screw up the study.”
“Modi I should be done by then.” Jared looked pleadingly at Jensen. “We have to.”
“Okay,” Jensen said reluctantly. “We’re going to have a problem with the bleeding when the IV is removed.”
Sterling looked startled by Jensen's comment. He looked at Jared. “Shit, do we have anything to handle that?”
Jared closed his eyes. “No, if anyone became infected within the compound, the plan was to fly them out to the nearest facility capable of handling the patient.”
“Sandbagging?” Jensen offered weakly. “Maybe a five-pounder?”
“The pressure might tear open the wound even further,” Jared said. “And you could bleed into the cavity. If that happens…”
“I go septic in a few hours and screw up the study and maybe die in the process,” Jensen concluded.
“We’ll give you a dose of the strongest antibiotic we’ve got,” Sterling said. “We’ll leave the needle in for now because we’re going to keep drawing blood. But once it gets bad enough, we’ll remove the IV and … improvise.
“Dr. Padalecki - that sound good to you?”
Jared remained silent for only a moment. “Yeah, let’s do that.”
He looked at Jensen who slowly curled into a fetal position, trying to make himself warmer. Jared leaned over and whispered Jensen’s name.
“What?” Jensen asked weakly.
“Don’t die on me.”
Jensen’s brave façade crumbled only for a moment. He whispered back, “I won’t die. Not today.”
Two hours later Jared was wondering if Jensen would be able to keep his promise. His fever had plateaued but the wound had grown to twice its original size.
Sterling looked at Jared. “We have to take it out.”
“Okay,” Jared agreed. “But we should take one more blood sample.”
With swift, sure movements, Sterling filled a vial before pulling out the IV needle before wrapping an ice-cold bandage around the hand. Then he placed a small cold compress on top in order to slow down the bleeding.
Jensen didn’t wake up. He had fallen asleep only minutes before: a victim to his body's self-preservation as it kicked in full force.
Jared studied the blood and saw all-out war as Modi I slowly and systematically hunted down the filovirus and infected them with the new RNA sequence.
“So Modi I works,” Sterling said as he watched the battle on screen.
“The question is will it work fast enough.” Jared knew only too well that even if Modi I was successful in the end, the patient could still die because his body was too damaged.
“Do you want to go with a second injection?” Sterling asked.
Jared shook his head. He knew the old adage of ‘too much of a good thing can hurt you’ applied only too well in the world of medicine. “No, let’s see how the first round does. If there’s too many of Modi I, they might not be so successful in going after the filovirus.”
There was also the unspoken fear that, in spite of their best guesswork, the filovirus could somehow successfully mutate due to overexposure and render Modi I useless. It wasn’t a reasonable fear, of course, but its potency was enough for Jared to reject the idea of giving Jensen a second dose of Modi I.
Jared looked at Jensen’s huddled form. “Let’s get the cooling blankets. We could at least bring his fever down.”
Sterling took them out of the fridge and ripped open the plastic casings. Jared carefully took off the fleece blankets, making sure Jensen didn’t wake. He didn’t want Jensen to be conscious when they placed the cold blankets on top of him.
After making sure Jensen was covered with three cooling blankets, Jared examined the infected wound. The bleeding was sluggish but as he feared, it didn’t look like it was going to stop any time soon. He studied Jensen’s face to see if the man was in any discomfort, but mercifully, Jensen slept right through their ministrations.
In the harsh fluorescent light, Jensen’s pallor made him look young - too young to be playing chicken with death. And, unless Jared was mistaken, Jensen’s freckles seemed to have doubled since he left Washington DC. The little flecks were even in his ears.
Jared found that strangely endearing. Even though he knew he couldn’t feel anything with his gloves, Jared traced the few sprinkled on Jensen’s nose. He remembered how often Jensen bitched about them, and his humorous responses to Jensen acting like a fourteen-year-old girl.
I know I keep saying this when you’re not around to listen, but I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry for everything.
Jared took another glance at Jensen’s monitors before sitting down. Then he and Sterling went back to work, making educated guesses about things that had no intelligence whatsoever: only lethal intentions their creators gave them.
Washington, DC
January 2005
Jensen hung up after listening to Jared’s rather sappy voicemail. He sighed, wondering what Jared had done now. In truth, Jensen knew there were only two things: Jared cheated, again, or Jared was in one of his moods.
Why so cynical? Jensen asked himself. Maybe Jared finally came to his senses.
Jensen was surprised by how bitter his laugh was. He dumped his luggage in the bedroom before strolling into the kitchen to discover a freshly-brewed pot of coffee waiting for him.
Jensen's sense of unease grew.
Jared, for all his intelligence, had a hard time programming Jensen’s coffee maker. He’d tried twice before, and the machine ended up brewing coffee at three in the morning and at eleven in the afternoon when neither of them were home. After that, Jared just let Jensen program the ‘Machine from Hell’ for both of them.
Jensen made a cup for himself before flipping through three days worth of mail. He looked at the alumni letter from Georgetown, trying to entice him into the fifteen-year reunion. For a moment Jensen was tempted to go. He made very few friends, and lost contact with them after Danneel’s death. Jensen wondered how they would react to Jared.
They’d probably wonder what the hell brought us together.
Jensen had to admit he’d thought of that very question too often after he’d moved in with Jared. At first, he was able to ignore the nagging doubts, but he was no fool and Jensen quickly realized Jared was incapable of remaining faithful. He wondered if Jared ever would be, and if he would be the one that would make Jared see that his destructive behavior was hurting more than just Jensen.
With a tired sigh Jensen dumped all the unread junk mail into the recycling bin, only to watch them fall out of the overflowing trashcan.
“Fuck!” Jensen kicked the can in irritation before bending down to clean up the mess. He was about to dump the stack back into the bin when a familiar envelope caught his attention.
Jensen frowned as he took the envelope from the garbage can. Why does this laboratory look familiar?
Suddenly he remembered where he’d heard the name. Jensen knew the company by reputation as Chris once talked about how many of his buddies used it to find out if they were fathers or not.
Jensen opened it and read the terse but informative letter. There were no names mentioned, only number tags, but he knew there was only one person who recently had a baby. Now Jensen knew why Jared was so firm about Sandy taking the time off, and the uncomfortable tension between the two during the Christmas party.
Jesus Christ, they were fucking while she was married.
And Jensen could make an intelligent guess as to why Sandy ended up with Jason instead of Jared. Because, deep down in her heart, she knew that her love wasn’t enough for Jared to keep it in his pants. That, no matter what Jared promised, in the end he’d stray from her side.
And she’d known him for years while I knew him for less than two. And people call me a genius.
Jensen sat on the kitchen floor and stared at the envelope. He wanted to be angry, to be pissed off enough to wait for Jared to come home and knock loose few of his teeth before storming out, but he couldn’t spare the energy. No, he needed to shore up everything he had to do what he should have done when he first suspected Jared was being unfaithful.
Jensen began packing.
Jared immediately knew something was wrong when he entered the brownstone. Jensen had flown in earlier and was suppose to pick up the dogs from the sitter. So, Harley and Sadie should have been scrambling all over him the moment he opened the door. Instead, there was only dusty silence to greet him.
“Yo, Jensen, you home?”
Even as Jared spoke out loud he knew Jensen wasn’t. Feeling anxiety trickle down his back, Jared quickly went upstairs to their bedroom. He saw the half-empty closet.
“What the fuck?”
Jared stormed to the basement and discovered Jensen’s makeshift office bare of any of his partner’s belongings. He took out his cell and called Jensen only to have it go to voicemail. He went to his office to check on his computer. He found an envelope sitting on the keyboard with Jensen's neat handwriting spelling out his name. Jared pocketed his cell and unfolded the letter.
I wish I could say you broke my heart and that’s why I’m leaving, but that would be a lie. The truth is I don’t like what I’ve become with you. I’m tired of wondering if the next person you’re fucking behind my back will be my replacement. I’m tired of hoping that you’d finally come around and settle down with me. I guess I’m tired of being your bitch.
I’ve mailed my resignation letter. I don’t expect a glowing recommendation from you but I do expect you to be civil. Don’t call me. That way I can keep some happy memories of our time together. You owe me that much, I think.
It was an honor working with you, and in that respect I’m very glad we met. I just wish I could say that about our private life.
I wish you the best, and I sincerely hope you do find someone who’ll make you happy enough to realize how fragile love really is.
~ Jensen
Jared stared at the brief letter into the evening and remained in his chair until his sitter called, wondering when Jensen would come by to pick up Harley and Sadie.
Part V * Conclusion