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[frownslayingcow]

ok guys! after a brief month-long period of adjustment to something i had for four years, i'm cool again. i apologize for any weirdness. actually, i apologize only to carolyn, because fuck what you all think, you don't know

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[xforever]

I could cry and tell you how much that means to me, but I'm too tired to do that now. Plus you probably already know how this makes me feel. I think it was remarkably mature(?) of you to dig deep enough to look at this objectively, even though you have been, and probably still are being, disoriented by freakin' crazy strong emotions. I think it's awesome that you can admit you were hiding away in my arms. Like I loved being able to hold you and take care of you, to give you that little bit of sunshine :) when you didn't have much else to look forward to. Haha. Or, perhaps, to be the only light in that dark, "sensation-deprivation chamber" of a basement room of yours. (I think it was "sense-deprivation" but sensation sounded ten times cooler.) I want for you to always feel comfortable enough to express your feelings to me, but I must be honest with you. When you lay such heavy things on me (like the fact that I'm killing you, and that you will never, ever be able to think of me the same way if I do such and such a thing), I can only