i'm tired still. i slept like a rock last night for i don't know how long. long enough, but not too long. my lemonade still sits on the table, covered by a paper plate to keep out the bugs that don't come down here. this truly is a sensory deprivation chamber. without the tv on, i have no idea of what time it is. my morning clock is based on ( Read more... )

tonight, as i drove home from softball, i felt a strange optimism that i usually don't. it might have been the fact that it's a beautiful night. it might have been my music. it could have been anything. all i know is that it was a wonderful feeling and i'm glad i felt it. all that was missing was carolyn, because i know how she loves when i'm ( Read more... )

Bulletins with choices for one thing or another, such as heavy metal against emo or the gay marriage thing, are just asking for people to be retarded on both sides. It's obvious that people have opinions, and even more so that people are assholes. However, I don't really need to see them being shitheads to each other over the internet. Typing with ( Read more... )

it's weird. carolyn's friends all hate me. i'm a pretty laid-back person. i don't really do anything offensive. i don't interfere with her social life NEARLY as much as i could...because frankly, i'm happy that she has friends. even though they are the ones who suck her dry and cause her to feel as if she is being pulled every which way, i ( Read more... )

i feel like shiiit. life depresses me again. everything's going so well for me...but i really just...don't care. it's usually better in the morning, but it comes back by halfway through the day. nikita=whiny little bitch. but i'm not really whining. just sharing the fact that i'm apathetic once again. jaded. i fucking hate it though. haha ( Read more... )

i used to think i had some sort of inner peace. maybe i do sometimes. but holy fuck, it likes to play hide and seek with me. i've decided not to go for the journeys thing because i'm not desperate for a job...and she's been running around the mall recruiting everyone. the job doesn't matter and i'm happy at the comus. now to...leave the leaf ( Read more... )

holy fuck i'm tired. haha this song cracks me up. it's like this random little saxophone thing on the commercial for fur night club on 99.5. i don't know...i listen to it while i'm sleeping because if i'm not interested in what's on, i ignore it and sleep. 99.5 is the best at having shit i don't care about. last night was the shit. i took ( Read more... )

just say no to drugs! oh my god i should hahaha. carolyn we're going to have so much fun living together!

know that feeling? the one where you feel like no matter what you do, you're worthless? yeah i'd forgotten it for a while, but right now i feel like i'm losing it. i was juggling all my shit and now i'm dropping the ball...s. i'm going to lose it all because i had too much. that sucks but it's my fault. carolyn, enjoy whomever you decide... ( Read more... )

dishonesty makes me more pissed off than anyanyanything else i've ever dealt with. that's why i love carolyn! she always tells me exactly what's going on. probably because i'm honest with her and i also tell her everything that i'm doing. in fact, i think that's the strongest part of our relationship. trust. she can always believe me when i ( Read more... )