Fuck.. x_x I suck at breakups...
WolfKlawsHeart: I'm here
KawaiiKFox: oh. ^-^ oaky
WolfKlawsHeart: I love you.
KawaiiKFox: I miss you
WolfKlawsHeart: I miss you too...but I really love you >.<
WolfKlawsHeart: I see...
KawaiiKFox: I love you
KawaiiKFox: guess what?
WolfKlawsHeart: what
KawaiiKFox: Jackie and I beat Silent Hill 4!
WolfKlawsHeart: cool
WolfKlawsHeart: can I ask you something
KawaiiKFox: you can always ask me anything
WolfKlawsHeart: have I lost you...cuz I close my eyes and you're not there any more...I can't feel you any more...and it feelsl ike I've lost you completely..
KawaiiKFox: the only thing that is lost is how i feel
WolfKlawsHeart: you don't love me any more...
KawaiiKFox: all i do feel is me caring for you
WolfKlawsHeart: as if I was a brother...
WolfKlawsHeart: not a boyfriend
KawaiiKFox: not really a brother...
KawaiiKFox: i'm more broken than i realized...
KawaiiKFox: it'll take a long time to fix
WolfKlawsHeart: so I have lost you.
WolfKlawsHeart: or I just never had you.
KawaiiKFox: the only thing that is lost is the love that i once had
KawaiiKFox: you did have me for a while
WolfKlawsHeart: so we're not together BF/GF?
KawaiiKFox: i cant be with anyone... not for a very long time...
KawaiiKFox: I've lost my morals
WolfKlawsHeart: then I guess I better go away then.
KawaiiKFox: I don't awnt you to go away.. because you're a very kind, compassionate person
KawaiiKFox: I want to still know you, and know you better
WolfKlawsHeart: but you can't love me ever again
KawaiiKFox: I don't even know if I'll be able to love again, period
WolfKlawsHeart: then whats the point me me exsisting...
KawaiiKFox: there is more points than any of us will ever realize
WolfKlawsHeart: I thought you rememberd us...but I was wrong.
WolfKlawsHeart: you don't remember...
WolfKlawsHeart: all I am to you is a nice guy who cares andl ove you.
KawaiiKFox: you are someone to me
KawaiiKFox: someone who matters
WolfKlawsHeart: You don't remember me.
WolfKlawsHeart: god can I die now v.v
KawaiiKFox: pleae don't die
KawaiiKFox: ;-;
KawaiiKFox: please*
KawaiiKFox: I care about you, i still want to help and be there for you..
KawaiiKFox: I just don't want to hurt you
WolfKlawsHeart: I WANT TO BE WITH YOU
WolfKlawsHeart: Thats all
WolfKlawsHeart: plane and simple
WolfKlawsHeart: you don't want to hurt me?
KawaiiKFox: you don't want to be with someone who's so broken, she is still finding out things that are wrong with her....
KawaiiKFox: i never di want to hurt you
KawaiiKFox: did*
KawaiiKFox: i hate hurting people...
WolfKlawsHeart: I want to be with you
WolfKlawsHeart: yes I don't care how broken you are
WolfKlawsHeart: I want to fix you
WolfKlawsHeart: if thats what it takes
KawaiiKFox: no one can fix me... it's somethign i have to do for myself. and I need to be alone... to be better. I talked with my mom about it a long time ago... rebounds.. can hurt many people
KawaiiKFox: and. unfortunately.. that was what i did...
KawaiiKFox: i shouldn't have
WolfKlawsHeart: fine...
KawaiiKFox: I'm really sorry
WolfKlawsHeart: should I give up then?
WolfKlawsHeart: should I give up on you?
WolfKlawsHeart: if that is what you want...
KawaiiKFox: ...that's up to you... i can't make a decision like that for someone
WolfKlawsHeart: then I give up on life.
KawaiiKFox: you can't
WolfKlawsHeart: I can and I will
KawaiiKFox: why?
WolfKlawsHeart: I told you why
WolfKlawsHeart: I told you when I figured out who you were.
KawaiiKFox: then can we wait?
WolfKlawsHeart: how long?
KawaiiKFox: I couldn't tell you right now
KawaiiKFox: I don't want to hurt anyone while I
WolfKlawsHeart: it's killing me just waitting now that I've found you
KawaiiKFox: 'm trying to get better
WolfKlawsHeart: atleast let me come for graduation...
WolfKlawsHeart: or let me come for your birthday
WolfKlawsHeart: I don't know
KawaiiKFox: if you want, you may
WolfKlawsHeart: I'm slowly loosing it.
KawaiiKFox: I lost myself 5 years ago
KawaiiKFox: i gave up myself to make everyone happy
WolfKlawsHeart: don't make me happy any more...I want you to realize who you are
KawaiiKFox: I don't know how and when that will happen
WolfKlawsHeart: I love you...and thats all I can and will say...so my last words are...before I dissapear is...
WolfKlawsHeart: Good bye...and I love you...
KawaiiKFox: why dissapear
KawaiiKFox: ?
WolfKlawsHeart: cuz you don't need me...nor want me so why be arround
KawaiiKFox: I need someone that i can trust
KawaiiKFox: i only trust 2 people in my life.. truly
WolfKlawsHeart: why trust me htough
WolfKlawsHeart: though*
KawaiiKFox: why not?
WolfKlawsHeart: you don't even remember me...
WolfKlawsHeart: I've lost you completely
WolfKlawsHeart: and I probaly wont get you again.
KawaiiKFox: I'm still here, aren't I?
WolfKlawsHeart: yes...but...
KawaiiKFox: then you haven't lost me completely
KawaiiKFox: I'm still here, i still want you to be apart of my life
KawaiiKFox: because you are someone special to me,
WolfKlawsHeart: let me put it this way
WolfKlawsHeart: even though I'm with you as a friend.
WolfKlawsHeart: I'm dieing
WolfKlawsHeart: inside
WolfKlawsHeart: the pain of not being able to know that I can love you with a mutual love back is going to slowly mentaly kill me.
WolfKlawsHeart: right now you have my heart...I don't want it back cuz it origanly belongs to you
KawaiiKFox: why.......
WolfKlawsHeart: why what?
KawaiiKFox: no.. not why.. what do you... want to do.. right now? if you had never found me
WolfKlawsHeart: honnestly I prolly would be sitting here feeling sorry for my self wanting to die and in alot of pain cuz of how lonely I felt.
WolfKlawsHeart: now I'm feeling heart break and wanting to die...I've never felt so much pain before.
WolfKlawsHeart: but I wouldn't take not knowing you over that pain.
KawaiiKFox: I ask one thing..
KawaiiKFox: please..
WolfKlawsHeart: ...
KawaiiKFox: remember the good times we had talking.. nevr forget those memories, in the past where we used to be
KawaiiKFox: remember evry good moment tht we've shared
KawaiiKFox: live for those memories
KawaiiKFox: and one day, when I want to be with you, I'll find you
WolfKlawsHeart: ..
KawaiiKFox: when I'm ready
KawaiiKFox: I'll look for you
WolfKlawsHeart: so I can't move to Colorado with you and Jackie?
KawaiiKFox: you still can if you want to...
WolfKlawsHeart: more then anything
KawaiiKFox: it's up to you..
KawaiiKFox: i cant control your life for you.. don't let me
KawaiiKFox: EVER
KawaiiKFox: i make mistakes, just like everyone else
WolfKlawsHeart: I WANT to move there.
KawaiiKFox: okay
KawaiiKFox: then you can
WolfKlawsHeart: I WANT to be with you...
WolfKlawsHeart: can I still be your boyfriend...even if you don't feel the same any more?
KawaiiKFox: .....I don't understand
KawaiiKFox: why would you want to... be with someone if they cant return the feelings?
WolfKlawsHeart: cuz maybe...you'd can eventualy.
KawaiiKFox: and what if..(please remember this is a maybe) I won't be able to in this life time..?
WolfKlawsHeart: then I will be waitting in the next life as well.
WolfKlawsHeart: sitting there every day
WolfKlawsHeart: praying and hoping
WolfKlawsHeart: that you're love will return...
KawaiiKFox: -nods, crying a little-
WolfKlawsHeart: but I want to be with you every day with you to see if maybe my love can fix you.
WolfKlawsHeart: it doesn't hurt to try?
KawaiiKFox: i just dont want it hurting you in the end
WolfKlawsHeart: as long as you know I love you and I know you at least somewhat love me...then I'll be fine
KawaiiKFox: what will you do.. if it all fades away..?
WolfKlawsHeart: you mean your somewhat love for me? or what
KawaiiKFox: yea. .what if.. i cant love you in this life
WolfKlawsHeart: if it fades away
WolfKlawsHeart: then I'll fade away
WolfKlawsHeart: are you trying to tell me you wont ever love me again
WolfKlawsHeart: in this life
KawaiiKFox: it' a possibility..
WolfKlawsHeart: I don't believe it
WolfKlawsHeart: I cannot nor will I believe that
KawaiiKFox: ...
WolfKlawsHeart: I love you and thats enough to help
WolfKlawsHeart: you can right now tell me to go away
WolfKlawsHeart: and I will
KawaiiKFox: there's a problem there...
WolfKlawsHeart: what?
KawaiiKFox: I care about people too much to do that
KawaiiKFox: i could never do that to anyone
WolfKlawsHeart: but is that what you want
WolfKlawsHeart: do you want me to stop
WolfKlawsHeart: do you want me to go find some one else
KawaiiKFox: find someone, that can be with you, physically, who won't hurt you
WolfKlawsHeart: ...
WolfKlawsHeart: untill I can come see you? or what
KawaiiKFox: until I'm ready
WolfKlawsHeart: so you're saying not to come see you on your graduation day
KawaiiKFox: if you want to come to that, I'd be very nice
KawaiiKFox: I just want you to be happy...
WolfKlawsHeart: I told you what I want
WolfKlawsHeart: *sighs*
KawaiiKFox: looks like what we both want and need are completely different
KawaiiKFox: I don't know what to say right now..
WolfKlawsHeart: I'm going to bed...I'm not going to work tomorrow I can't take work in my current status.
WolfKlawsHeart: I'll kill some one
KawaiiKFox: okay...
WolfKlawsHeart: I'm sorry I sucked so badly as being your boyfriend that I couldn't help you what so ever
KawaiiKFox: you did thou..
KawaiiKFox: it's not your fault, it never was to begin with
WolfKlawsHeart: it was my fault
KawaiiKFox: no it wasn't
KawaiiKFox: x_x
WolfKlawsHeart: I smotherd you
KawaiiKFox: it's mine..
KawaiiKFox: no
KawaiiKFox: i should've waited
KawaiiKFox: i wasn't ready, but i thought i was
WolfKlawsHeart: I suppose you want this back...*opens his chest, takes out your heart and locks his chest up tight...*
KawaiiKFox: -breaks a couple pieces off, giving them to you-
KawaiiKFox: -swolows her heart-
WolfKlawsHeart: I don't want mine back
KawaiiKFox: i know..
KawaiiKFox: but I'm giving you a few pieces of mine
KawaiiKFox: i can spare them ^-^
WolfKlawsHeart: I love you...
KawaiiKFox: I care about you, don't forget that.. okay?
WolfKlawsHeart: ok...
KawaiiKFox: d-do you.. want me to call you tomorrow.. or.. what?
WolfKlawsHeart: please
KawaiiKFox: please yes or no...?
WolfKlawsHeart: yes
WolfKlawsHeart: call
KawaiiKFox: okay
KawaiiKFox: i will
KawaiiKFox: i won't be able to until I get homw thou
WolfKlawsHeart: ok
KawaiiKFox: i wish you swet dreams
KawaiiKFox: sweet*
WolfKlawsHeart: one last question...cuz it didn't quite get answered
KawaiiKFox: mm..okay
WolfKlawsHeart: are we still together...or appart for now
KawaiiKFox: apart for now... I'm mentally dealing with too much, and right now.. I cant even sleep properly cause I'm thinknig so much
WolfKlawsHeart: I understand...and I am sorry
KawaiiKFox: it's not your fault
KawaiiKFox: it really isn't
KawaiiKFox: remember what i promised to you?
WolfKlawsHeart: sorta...
WolfKlawsHeart: my mind is in a tiz
WolfKlawsHeart: dealing with this and all
KawaiiKFox: i promised you that if you ever did something that bothered me, i would tell you
KawaiiKFox: if you ever did something wrong
KawaiiKFox: and I don't break promises
WolfKlawsHeart: nor do I
WolfKlawsHeart: and I promise this
WolfKlawsHeart: that no matter what...when you are ready...I'll be waitting
KawaiiKFox: -nods- okay
WolfKlawsHeart: do you still want me to let you keep that phone?
KawaiiKFox: that's up to you..
KawaiiKFox: would you like it back.. or.. what?
WolfKlawsHeart: no
WolfKlawsHeart: I want to still be able to talk to you
KawaiiKFox: -nods- okay
WolfKlawsHeart: and I want you to still be able to call me
KawaiiKFox: alright
WolfKlawsHeart: *hugs one more time and looks into your eyes with tears trickling down his face*
KawaiiKFox: -holds you close, crying also- I'm really sorry...
WolfKlawsHeart: can you say it once more...
WolfKlawsHeart: I wont ask you to say it at all ever again...
KawaiiKFox: I love you, I'll always be here if you ever feel the need to talk, it jsut may take me a while to call you back ^^;
WolfKlawsHeart: *smiles with tears in his eyes, lowers his head and nods...*
WolfKlawsHeart: I love you too, and if you need to talk...call please
KawaiiKFox: -nods- okay
WolfKlawsHeart: night
KawaiiKFox: sleep well
WolfKlawsHeart: I will try but I know I wont
WolfKlawsHeart: you try too ok?
KawaiiKFox: I'll be watching you, lol so you better
KawaiiKFox: I'll try.. ^^;
WolfKlawsHeart: heh ^.^;; =/ night
WolfKlawsHeart is away at 12:33:26 AM.
and I was over here thinking I was free, but I guess not. why do i have to be one of those people that care so damn much? x_x