app copypasta;
Character: Hisoka
Series: Hunter x Hunter
Character Age: 27
Job: Orchardist
Canon:
Hunter x Hunter is a shounen manga that revolves around a cheerful protagonist and his journey to find his father; to continue his search, he has to become a Hunter. Potential Hunters have to pass a ridiculously dangerous exam, and for good reason - they do some of the most dangerous work in the world, but they get access to all kinds of ridiculous benefits. The Hunter Exam sets the stage for the rest of the series, as it’s during the exam that the main character, Gon, makes friends with the other main characters of the series - and of course, meets the villain.
Enigmatic, dangerous and undeniably creepy, Hisoka immediately gives off seriously bad vibes. Always smiling and cheerful, he lies like he breathes, and kills just as easily. He describes himself as unstable, which is appropriate considering his erratic behaviour and tendency to moodswing between relatively pleasant to ax crazy. His tenacity with pursuing targets, as well as his obsessive attachments to those who deems worthy opponents, is shown in his relationship with the main character; he considers Gon (and Killua, the other shota sidekick) to be “unripe fruit” that he’s waiting to “ripen” and provide a good fight. His motif is that of a magician (or clown), which suits his “special abilities” and aura-powered killer poker cards.
Important note! Hisoka actually speaks with card suits at the end of his sentences. ♣ However, for the purpose of this app, they have not been included. ♥
Sample Post:
Hmm~? Is this supposed to be a surprise? Surprises usually involve the receiving party being unaware of what’s about to happen. Even if I couldn’t easily sense your presence, being purple tends to make you stand out. Evolution didn’t work in your favour, now did it? Hee hee. Well, okay. Those who are brave enough to challenge me head-on are allowed a little longer to live… though, this could just be stupidity. I won’t judge you. Besides, animals want to protect their homes from strange outsiders, don’t they? Or try to take food from them. Apparently, you aren’t aware that stealing is a crime; but stealing from me merits a death sentence, regardless of you harmlessly acting by instinct. Actually, even if I liked you, it would be a death sentence… my, everything to do with me ends in death! Ha ha ha!~ But I’m serious - don’t touch that banana. It’s still hard.
Of course, it looks appetizing, and the fact you can’t have it makes it all the more appealing. I understand those sentiments perfectly well - there are plenty of things I want to take, but can’t. Not yet. Much like the fruit on these trees, patience is required before you can have the things you want the most. It’s a very broad statement, but it’s the truth - and of course, it can be applied to anything. So, if you were to take what you wanted now… I would have to punish you.
Waiting for the fruit to ripen is the hardest part. It sits there, hanging off the branches; there are no longer flowers to distract your eyes from the true prize. So tempting… but to eat it would be a huge mistake. It’s too soon! The fruit is still sour and hasn’t reached full… flavour. For example: apples. Some people enjoy the sour green ones, but they are meant to be bitter. I prefer the red ones - they’re sweet and satisfying to consume. Of course, eating a very satisfying piece of fruit can sometimes lead to me cutting down the whole orchard. A bit of a waste, but it feels good to destroy things, doesn’t it?
That’s what I do best. It’s my hobby, you could say… finding the most appetizing people and having a very satisfying time with them. Well, I suppose I can appreciate the forced irony behind being given this job. My qualifications could be put to better use, but I don’t mind taking a little break. Who knows what I might decide to do in ten minutes? I certainly don’t. You’ll probably be dead by then.
Oh, are you bored? I think I have a remedy for that. My actual job is closer to a magician, you see. Rather, I’m called a magician, but I don’t really do any magic - but for you, I’ll do one of my tricks. A slight-of-hand, if you will. Ladies and gentlemen, the World’s Great Magician Hisoka will now… make this creature’s head disappear.
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