fic: jump in (1/?)
jump in. part one.
Lily finally looks over, eyes so unnaturally and beautifully blue as they focus in on her, and Kat has to fight the urge to kiss above and below both, just to see if she can taste it. lily loveless/kathryn prescott. 2788 words. (R/NC-17)
disclaimer: This story is lies, lies, lies. Complete fiction.
(credit)
A dream of togetherness,
turned into a brighter mess
(the lucky one, au revoir simone)
"I think when you hear someone say something homophobic it really ages them. It sounds so old fashioned."
It'll be easy to say. It'll be cool and they'll be at a shoot looking rather fit, casual despite all the hair and makeup, and it'll make sense to say it. And she'll believe it, too, but that doesn't take away the fact that it'll be easier to say later, then it is to say now.
Now? Now if she says "Homophobia is so old-fashioned" there will be a jump in octave, voice catching in defense, and her eyes pointedly looking nowhere near Lily Loveless.
Lily fucking Loveless. She's the cause of all this.
Scripts go through rewrites sometimes; nothing is ever quite set in stone long enough to feel secure. This lends to speculation, which goes unspoken for the most part. Occasionally, though, they'll allow themselves a moment of curiosity. The dressing room seems to be the setting for these thoughts, Lily with her legs swung over the arm of her chair, Meg and Kaya with mobiles in hand and Kathryn trying best not to chew at her nails.
"You curious?" Kaya's the first to speak, smiling down at her phone, new text vibrating in her palm. "About which one of us you'll get to snog?"
Kathryn looks at her for a long moment, actually thinks it through. "What makes you think I'm snogging any of you? Might bring in some fit model for me to shag, right and proper."
Kaya snorts. "You wish."
"I certainly do not," Kathryn protests, perhaps a bit too firmly. "With the exception of not having to snog you, at least."
"You're too sweet."
"Now, now, children. I'm sure you'll all get to snog and everyone will be happy" Lily interjects, exaggerating a stern tone of voice, grinning from ear to ear as she absentmindedly picks at her nails.
It should probably mean something that the first thought that pops into Kathryn's mind when the producers tell her she and Lily - or, rather, Emily and Naomi - will be snogging is: how long has Lily known?
There's that knowing smile she can imagine as clear as day when she leaves the office, heads back to the dressing room. That knowing smile and the way eyes belie something more, something unspoken.
"Just a bit ago" had been the answer to her question, after she sacrificed enough of her pride to ask before she couldn't take it any longer. It was vague enough to leave her wondering. Not even that, but she was sure that even before she'd been told, that Lily - just like Kathryn - had probably spent a bit, restlessly thinking about who, when, how many times? It had to have occurred to her at least once.
It certainly did for Kathryn.
They have lunch one day. It's after rehearsals have started, but filming is still a few weeks away. The whole cast is in Bristol for the rehearsals, to meld into a cohesive unit and all that nonsense.
But for this first lunch, it's only the two of them. Lily had been the one to extend the invitation and Kathryn remembers the way her palms felt suddenly damp with sweat, how she shoved them into her back pockets as she, as casually as possible, accepted - thankful that she didn't have to stick her neck out first. But mostly, she's thankful for the look on Lily's face when she says yes.
(None of this makes sense to her, now, of course, but it remains at the back of her mind and she knows the answer will eventually come to her.)
It's a nice little café they go to, with colorful menus, outside seating and a sweet waitress that brings them their coffee. When Lily focuses on what to choose for lunch, Kathryn sneaks a look at her. It's the first direct moment of just watching her straight on, since they shook hands at the club, their first meeting in years.
She tries to count the things that are different. Other than the hair, everything else rings familiar in some way. This stands out to her, too, because before the club, before auditions, before all this, she could've sworn she hadn't remembered Lily in the slightest.
(And yet, they shook hands and Lily's pinky curled around to the inside of her palm, and that as it for not remembering.)
"You haven't changed a bit," Lily says behind a puff of smoke, breaking Kathryn's line of thought. A slight turn of her lips when she says it, not quite a smile, but captivating nonetheless.
There's a nakedness to the way Lily's looking at her, bare and upfront - she's looking her up and down and figuring everything out and she's not ashamed to admit it. This leaves Kathryn's cheeks burning as she clears her throat, blames the smoke on why her eyes water at the corners. "I haven't?"
Even Lily's nod is a bit softer than Kathryn imagines it should be. Not that she's complaining. "Well, the hair."
Kathryn's hand reaches up to touch it without a thought, wonders if the color of it matches her cheeks. "Same for you, I suppose."
Lily smirks at this. "I've been thinking about going back to brown."
"You look good as a blonde," Kathryn offers, but it comes out too eager, too loud, and she shifts in her seat. "Brown, too. I mean..."
"I know," Lily's smirk remains through a drag, smoke inhaled and dancing into her smile. "I know what you mean."
It's the middle of the week, an early end to the day. Kathryn stands outside the set, listening to the constant ringing on the other end of the line, before finally getting voicemail. She swears profusely to herself under her breath, and just then Lily steps out, fag already lit and resting comfortably between her lips. "What is it?"
"Just Jack. He's off at a friend's, and I was supposed to pick something up." Kathryn looks down the road, no buses in sight for a good hour. "I'll have to walk now, is all."
"Well." Lily puts out her fag and shrugs in the direction Kathryn had looked a moment ago. "I'll walk with you."
"You don't have - "
Lily turns to her with an eye roll. "I've got, like, three hours to kill, Kat. Come on."
"It's not just a stroll around the corner, is all."
"If you want to walk it alone, that's fine," Lily says, to clarify, but never stops walking. "But I always say a walk's more fun with company."
Kat smiles before she even knows why. When Lily looks at her expectantly, she explains: "You always say that?"
Lily relents, and they both break into a short fit of laughter, that bubbles away after a minute. "Wanker."
"Fuck you, too, then," Kat falls into another fit of laughs as they turn the first corner.
The weather's nice, cold not creeping up quick even when night comes around. Lily takes her jacket off, lets it rest over her arm, which occasionally grazes Kat's as they walk down a cramped walkway.
Lily turns out to be a good listener, genuinely curious but never with expectations - she seems content to listen to whatever it is Kathryn has to say, whether it be about a story of her and Meg or a story about her getting coffee that sounds funny in her head but comes out irredeemably lame when she says it out loud.
(For the record, Lily laughs, and it rings true, and their eyes catch each other's and this'll be a moment that Kathryn will replay later in her head, to decipher. She'll fail, of course.)
They get to the house, finally. After a few unanswered knocks, Kathryn pulls her phone out. Talking to Lily the entire time, she'd forgotten about her phone entirely, and there are a number of unread texts waiting for her.
"Fucking Jack." She shoves her phone back into her pocket roughly, looking nervously at Lily. "Sorry."
"Isn't in?" Lily clarifies, and when Kat nods, an easy smile starts on her face. "S'alright, we'll just head back, then."
"I just wasted half your night, I'm so - "
Lily's smile stretches bigger and she laughs, clearly amused. "Don't bloody apologize, Kat, it's fine."
Kathryn bites her lip. "Are you sure?"
Lily's hand touches Kat's shoulder, everything softening into something less amused, more intimate. It gives Kat the goosebumps. "It's alright, Kathryn. We'll catch a bus, yeah?"
"Yeah."
The history that comes before seems to be what complicates everything. At first, Kat isn't quite sure if this applies to Naomi and Emily or her and Lily. It takes her a while, but eventually understands that either way, she's screwed.
Kat takes to thinking of Mountview often, usually in periods of lull and always when Lily's fucked off and she's stuck on set, having to keep focus on scenes when it's all she can do to not think about a faded summer and clear blue eyes.
"It'd be nice if we were all present. Having your head in the clouds doesn't make this day go any faster." It's a Friday, on the wrong side of noon, too many hours still left of work, and everybody's tired, everybody wants their weekend, and Kat fights to pull herself together.
It's late afternoon and they're both at home (at the hotel, Kat corrects), empty bottles of cheap beer littering the floor near Kat's bed as they watch the telly. Smoke lingers from an earlier spliff. The bedframe creaks when Lily turns. The blue is piercing. "You alright?"
Kat swallows, eyes drifting away as she thinks about it, long and hard. They had yet to actually speak a word to each other since getting home, and, realizing this, she's left trying to piece together the morning, trying to find the reason behind this tension.
After a moment, Lily rolls her eyes and gulps some more beer. "Don't hurt yourself thinking too hard, now."
Kat doesn't like it, the way Lily's voice sounds calling her out. Her cheeks burn and she's suddenly aware of the placement of her hands. So, she arches her neck until it pops and shoots back: "It's a stupid question anyway."
"What - ?" Lily scoffs, looks a her with brow furrowed. "What's that s'posed to mean?"
For the oddest reason, she hadn't expected Lily to fight it, and she immediately knows this was a big misstep on her part. She sighs, softens her voice. "Don't get all offended, I was just saying - "
The damage is done. Lily pulls back into herself. "I'll have to be right fucked up again before I ask you how you're doing."
"Oh, fuck you."
"You're the one who can't answer a simple question." Another swig of beer. "Was your day that bad?"
"It wasn't bad, it was just..." Kat finds her nails suddenly incredibly interesting. "Fuck it."
"Well, I see perfectly now. So glad I asked."
"I could tell you were really concerned," Kat shoots back, a roll of the eyes and her hand snatching her own bottle of beer from the edge of the table. Her lips shine with it when she adds: "Guess it's my turn now. How far is that stick up your bum or was your day bad as well?"
"Was alright until I got home."
"Bad company often sours the mood, doesn't it?" Kat takes a large pull, the last half of the bottle, and her eyes squeeze shut. "Whatever."
"Yeah, whatever."
In spite - or perhaps because - of this tension, they continue to drink. An hour or two passes like minutes and they run out of beer, eventually. Lily pulls out vodka, and maybe Kat mutters about how long it took for to offer something decent to drink. Maybe Lily's face softens into a slight smile, which fades by the time she gets back to the bed, takes a burning gulp and hands it off to her.
It's Kat that finally says something tangible, the words running together in ways they shouldn't. "Meg was being a fucking prat earlier, and I flubbed all my lines, and frankly, I'm just too fucking tired to handle it right."
Lily sighs, nods, and this is all it takes for Kat to know she understands.
"Don't you hate those kind days?" Kat offers, after a long silence.
Again, Lily nods, doesn't say anything for a bit. Finally: "Yeah."
Yeah. That's all she says. Kat isn't even irritated, just smiles behind the rim of the bottle. "You never answered me."
"Bout what?" Lily finally looks at her, eyes so unnaturally and beautifully blue as they focus in on her, and Kat has to fight the urge to kiss above and below either, both, just to see if she can taste it.
"Your day." Kat shrugs, licks her lips before she can help it. "How was it?"
"It was alright. Bit lonely."
They hadn't had any scenes together, and never had a long enough break to run into each other in the dressing room. Kat lets herself think for a moment that this is perhaps what's left Lily so upset. Only for a moment, she allows this thought. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" Lily asks, too quickly. She looks away, down, and the thought creeps back up. "Don't apologize. 'Sides, I've got enough alcohol in me to not care anymore, really."
"Right," Kat almost laughs. After a minute: "I'm still sorry your day sucked."
"And...I'm sorry yours wasn't any better," Lily says, at length, still not looking at her.
"Well, you should be," Kat decides to joke, nudging Lily a little with her elbow. "S'all your fucking fault, isn't it?"
Lily fakes sincerity: "I'm truly sorry that my lack of presence sent your day off balance. It was incredibly rude of me."
"The rudest," Kat quips quickly, before laughing and pushing Lily again, harder this time. When she nearly topples over the side of the bed, Kat grabs at her quickly, aimlessly, so that one hand grabs onto the curve of her hip while the other briefly grabs onto Lily's boob in the confusion.
Once Lily is back on the bed, fully, she immediately pushes Kat back. "You did that just to grope me, you perv!"
She's laughing the entire time, laughs harder when Kat pushes back. The now-empty handle of vodka is pushed off the bed, its spot replaced by Kat, who's pushed down by a determined Lily. She pushing herself against her so she can't get away easily.
It doesn't occur quite soon enough that this isn't exactly normal. It reads like something out of a bad movie, tawdry dialogue and silly contrivances and really, she likes to think she's better than that.
But it doesn't hit her - it doesn't exactly match up in her mind what she's doing with her body. The tickling devolves into something more frantic, Lily's hands on Kat's hips and breaking the barrier, slipping under the rough catch of her jeans until there's fingers finding cotton and it jolts her in a way she isn't accustomed to.
This is no longer just a tickling match.
"Stop it!" Kat barely manages to say through laughter.
"I'm going to get you for it!" a hand grabs at her ribs - tickling - while the other remains buried halfway under her jeans, knuckles against the ridge of Kat's hip - very much not tickling.
Eventually things calm down, gradually. Lily's hands loosen but fingers splay across skin, still and warm. She sinks down, stomach against Kat's, and her head falling into the curve of her neck as she catches her breath.
It goes on like this for a few minutes, their breathing slowing down and heartbeats sedating until it's hot breath against skin and simply Lily lying on top of Kat. Eventually, Kat lifts her hands and touches Lily's back - she finds her shirt bunched there, and her palms are flat against warm skin.
"Lils?"
"Hmm?" She doesn't lift her head.
Kat finds there's nothing she has to say, not really. A few more minutes pass and eventually, almost reluctantly, Lily rolls off of Kat, onto her side. Her hand stays on Kat's hip, her pinky slipped under the denim there.
They fall asleep like this.
(They'll wake up, eventually, of course.
It'll be too close to intimacy, the way their eyes will meet and how they'll lay settled into each other, not really moving away for a good minute. It'll be too close to intimacy and it'll scare the fuck out of both of them.
They'll move, they'll look away. They won't look back.)
....TBC
Lily finally looks over, eyes so unnaturally and beautifully blue as they focus in on her, and Kat has to fight the urge to kiss above and below both, just to see if she can taste it. lily loveless/kathryn prescott. 2788 words. (R/NC-17)
disclaimer: This story is lies, lies, lies. Complete fiction.
(credit)
A dream of togetherness,
turned into a brighter mess
(the lucky one, au revoir simone)
"I think when you hear someone say something homophobic it really ages them. It sounds so old fashioned."
It'll be easy to say. It'll be cool and they'll be at a shoot looking rather fit, casual despite all the hair and makeup, and it'll make sense to say it. And she'll believe it, too, but that doesn't take away the fact that it'll be easier to say later, then it is to say now.
Now? Now if she says "Homophobia is so old-fashioned" there will be a jump in octave, voice catching in defense, and her eyes pointedly looking nowhere near Lily Loveless.
Lily fucking Loveless. She's the cause of all this.
Scripts go through rewrites sometimes; nothing is ever quite set in stone long enough to feel secure. This lends to speculation, which goes unspoken for the most part. Occasionally, though, they'll allow themselves a moment of curiosity. The dressing room seems to be the setting for these thoughts, Lily with her legs swung over the arm of her chair, Meg and Kaya with mobiles in hand and Kathryn trying best not to chew at her nails.
"You curious?" Kaya's the first to speak, smiling down at her phone, new text vibrating in her palm. "About which one of us you'll get to snog?"
Kathryn looks at her for a long moment, actually thinks it through. "What makes you think I'm snogging any of you? Might bring in some fit model for me to shag, right and proper."
Kaya snorts. "You wish."
"I certainly do not," Kathryn protests, perhaps a bit too firmly. "With the exception of not having to snog you, at least."
"You're too sweet."
"Now, now, children. I'm sure you'll all get to snog and everyone will be happy" Lily interjects, exaggerating a stern tone of voice, grinning from ear to ear as she absentmindedly picks at her nails.
It should probably mean something that the first thought that pops into Kathryn's mind when the producers tell her she and Lily - or, rather, Emily and Naomi - will be snogging is: how long has Lily known?
There's that knowing smile she can imagine as clear as day when she leaves the office, heads back to the dressing room. That knowing smile and the way eyes belie something more, something unspoken.
"Just a bit ago" had been the answer to her question, after she sacrificed enough of her pride to ask before she couldn't take it any longer. It was vague enough to leave her wondering. Not even that, but she was sure that even before she'd been told, that Lily - just like Kathryn - had probably spent a bit, restlessly thinking about who, when, how many times? It had to have occurred to her at least once.
It certainly did for Kathryn.
They have lunch one day. It's after rehearsals have started, but filming is still a few weeks away. The whole cast is in Bristol for the rehearsals, to meld into a cohesive unit and all that nonsense.
But for this first lunch, it's only the two of them. Lily had been the one to extend the invitation and Kathryn remembers the way her palms felt suddenly damp with sweat, how she shoved them into her back pockets as she, as casually as possible, accepted - thankful that she didn't have to stick her neck out first. But mostly, she's thankful for the look on Lily's face when she says yes.
(None of this makes sense to her, now, of course, but it remains at the back of her mind and she knows the answer will eventually come to her.)
It's a nice little café they go to, with colorful menus, outside seating and a sweet waitress that brings them their coffee. When Lily focuses on what to choose for lunch, Kathryn sneaks a look at her. It's the first direct moment of just watching her straight on, since they shook hands at the club, their first meeting in years.
She tries to count the things that are different. Other than the hair, everything else rings familiar in some way. This stands out to her, too, because before the club, before auditions, before all this, she could've sworn she hadn't remembered Lily in the slightest.
(And yet, they shook hands and Lily's pinky curled around to the inside of her palm, and that as it for not remembering.)
"You haven't changed a bit," Lily says behind a puff of smoke, breaking Kathryn's line of thought. A slight turn of her lips when she says it, not quite a smile, but captivating nonetheless.
There's a nakedness to the way Lily's looking at her, bare and upfront - she's looking her up and down and figuring everything out and she's not ashamed to admit it. This leaves Kathryn's cheeks burning as she clears her throat, blames the smoke on why her eyes water at the corners. "I haven't?"
Even Lily's nod is a bit softer than Kathryn imagines it should be. Not that she's complaining. "Well, the hair."
Kathryn's hand reaches up to touch it without a thought, wonders if the color of it matches her cheeks. "Same for you, I suppose."
Lily smirks at this. "I've been thinking about going back to brown."
"You look good as a blonde," Kathryn offers, but it comes out too eager, too loud, and she shifts in her seat. "Brown, too. I mean..."
"I know," Lily's smirk remains through a drag, smoke inhaled and dancing into her smile. "I know what you mean."
It's the middle of the week, an early end to the day. Kathryn stands outside the set, listening to the constant ringing on the other end of the line, before finally getting voicemail. She swears profusely to herself under her breath, and just then Lily steps out, fag already lit and resting comfortably between her lips. "What is it?"
"Just Jack. He's off at a friend's, and I was supposed to pick something up." Kathryn looks down the road, no buses in sight for a good hour. "I'll have to walk now, is all."
"Well." Lily puts out her fag and shrugs in the direction Kathryn had looked a moment ago. "I'll walk with you."
"You don't have - "
Lily turns to her with an eye roll. "I've got, like, three hours to kill, Kat. Come on."
"It's not just a stroll around the corner, is all."
"If you want to walk it alone, that's fine," Lily says, to clarify, but never stops walking. "But I always say a walk's more fun with company."
Kat smiles before she even knows why. When Lily looks at her expectantly, she explains: "You always say that?"
Lily relents, and they both break into a short fit of laughter, that bubbles away after a minute. "Wanker."
"Fuck you, too, then," Kat falls into another fit of laughs as they turn the first corner.
The weather's nice, cold not creeping up quick even when night comes around. Lily takes her jacket off, lets it rest over her arm, which occasionally grazes Kat's as they walk down a cramped walkway.
Lily turns out to be a good listener, genuinely curious but never with expectations - she seems content to listen to whatever it is Kathryn has to say, whether it be about a story of her and Meg or a story about her getting coffee that sounds funny in her head but comes out irredeemably lame when she says it out loud.
(For the record, Lily laughs, and it rings true, and their eyes catch each other's and this'll be a moment that Kathryn will replay later in her head, to decipher. She'll fail, of course.)
They get to the house, finally. After a few unanswered knocks, Kathryn pulls her phone out. Talking to Lily the entire time, she'd forgotten about her phone entirely, and there are a number of unread texts waiting for her.
"Fucking Jack." She shoves her phone back into her pocket roughly, looking nervously at Lily. "Sorry."
"Isn't in?" Lily clarifies, and when Kat nods, an easy smile starts on her face. "S'alright, we'll just head back, then."
"I just wasted half your night, I'm so - "
Lily's smile stretches bigger and she laughs, clearly amused. "Don't bloody apologize, Kat, it's fine."
Kathryn bites her lip. "Are you sure?"
Lily's hand touches Kat's shoulder, everything softening into something less amused, more intimate. It gives Kat the goosebumps. "It's alright, Kathryn. We'll catch a bus, yeah?"
"Yeah."
The history that comes before seems to be what complicates everything. At first, Kat isn't quite sure if this applies to Naomi and Emily or her and Lily. It takes her a while, but eventually understands that either way, she's screwed.
Kat takes to thinking of Mountview often, usually in periods of lull and always when Lily's fucked off and she's stuck on set, having to keep focus on scenes when it's all she can do to not think about a faded summer and clear blue eyes.
"It'd be nice if we were all present. Having your head in the clouds doesn't make this day go any faster." It's a Friday, on the wrong side of noon, too many hours still left of work, and everybody's tired, everybody wants their weekend, and Kat fights to pull herself together.
It's late afternoon and they're both at home (at the hotel, Kat corrects), empty bottles of cheap beer littering the floor near Kat's bed as they watch the telly. Smoke lingers from an earlier spliff. The bedframe creaks when Lily turns. The blue is piercing. "You alright?"
Kat swallows, eyes drifting away as she thinks about it, long and hard. They had yet to actually speak a word to each other since getting home, and, realizing this, she's left trying to piece together the morning, trying to find the reason behind this tension.
After a moment, Lily rolls her eyes and gulps some more beer. "Don't hurt yourself thinking too hard, now."
Kat doesn't like it, the way Lily's voice sounds calling her out. Her cheeks burn and she's suddenly aware of the placement of her hands. So, she arches her neck until it pops and shoots back: "It's a stupid question anyway."
"What - ?" Lily scoffs, looks a her with brow furrowed. "What's that s'posed to mean?"
For the oddest reason, she hadn't expected Lily to fight it, and she immediately knows this was a big misstep on her part. She sighs, softens her voice. "Don't get all offended, I was just saying - "
The damage is done. Lily pulls back into herself. "I'll have to be right fucked up again before I ask you how you're doing."
"Oh, fuck you."
"You're the one who can't answer a simple question." Another swig of beer. "Was your day that bad?"
"It wasn't bad, it was just..." Kat finds her nails suddenly incredibly interesting. "Fuck it."
"Well, I see perfectly now. So glad I asked."
"I could tell you were really concerned," Kat shoots back, a roll of the eyes and her hand snatching her own bottle of beer from the edge of the table. Her lips shine with it when she adds: "Guess it's my turn now. How far is that stick up your bum or was your day bad as well?"
"Was alright until I got home."
"Bad company often sours the mood, doesn't it?" Kat takes a large pull, the last half of the bottle, and her eyes squeeze shut. "Whatever."
"Yeah, whatever."
In spite - or perhaps because - of this tension, they continue to drink. An hour or two passes like minutes and they run out of beer, eventually. Lily pulls out vodka, and maybe Kat mutters about how long it took for to offer something decent to drink. Maybe Lily's face softens into a slight smile, which fades by the time she gets back to the bed, takes a burning gulp and hands it off to her.
It's Kat that finally says something tangible, the words running together in ways they shouldn't. "Meg was being a fucking prat earlier, and I flubbed all my lines, and frankly, I'm just too fucking tired to handle it right."
Lily sighs, nods, and this is all it takes for Kat to know she understands.
"Don't you hate those kind days?" Kat offers, after a long silence.
Again, Lily nods, doesn't say anything for a bit. Finally: "Yeah."
Yeah. That's all she says. Kat isn't even irritated, just smiles behind the rim of the bottle. "You never answered me."
"Bout what?" Lily finally looks at her, eyes so unnaturally and beautifully blue as they focus in on her, and Kat has to fight the urge to kiss above and below either, both, just to see if she can taste it.
"Your day." Kat shrugs, licks her lips before she can help it. "How was it?"
"It was alright. Bit lonely."
They hadn't had any scenes together, and never had a long enough break to run into each other in the dressing room. Kat lets herself think for a moment that this is perhaps what's left Lily so upset. Only for a moment, she allows this thought. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" Lily asks, too quickly. She looks away, down, and the thought creeps back up. "Don't apologize. 'Sides, I've got enough alcohol in me to not care anymore, really."
"Right," Kat almost laughs. After a minute: "I'm still sorry your day sucked."
"And...I'm sorry yours wasn't any better," Lily says, at length, still not looking at her.
"Well, you should be," Kat decides to joke, nudging Lily a little with her elbow. "S'all your fucking fault, isn't it?"
Lily fakes sincerity: "I'm truly sorry that my lack of presence sent your day off balance. It was incredibly rude of me."
"The rudest," Kat quips quickly, before laughing and pushing Lily again, harder this time. When she nearly topples over the side of the bed, Kat grabs at her quickly, aimlessly, so that one hand grabs onto the curve of her hip while the other briefly grabs onto Lily's boob in the confusion.
Once Lily is back on the bed, fully, she immediately pushes Kat back. "You did that just to grope me, you perv!"
She's laughing the entire time, laughs harder when Kat pushes back. The now-empty handle of vodka is pushed off the bed, its spot replaced by Kat, who's pushed down by a determined Lily. She pushing herself against her so she can't get away easily.
It doesn't occur quite soon enough that this isn't exactly normal. It reads like something out of a bad movie, tawdry dialogue and silly contrivances and really, she likes to think she's better than that.
But it doesn't hit her - it doesn't exactly match up in her mind what she's doing with her body. The tickling devolves into something more frantic, Lily's hands on Kat's hips and breaking the barrier, slipping under the rough catch of her jeans until there's fingers finding cotton and it jolts her in a way she isn't accustomed to.
This is no longer just a tickling match.
"Stop it!" Kat barely manages to say through laughter.
"I'm going to get you for it!" a hand grabs at her ribs - tickling - while the other remains buried halfway under her jeans, knuckles against the ridge of Kat's hip - very much not tickling.
Eventually things calm down, gradually. Lily's hands loosen but fingers splay across skin, still and warm. She sinks down, stomach against Kat's, and her head falling into the curve of her neck as she catches her breath.
It goes on like this for a few minutes, their breathing slowing down and heartbeats sedating until it's hot breath against skin and simply Lily lying on top of Kat. Eventually, Kat lifts her hands and touches Lily's back - she finds her shirt bunched there, and her palms are flat against warm skin.
"Lils?"
"Hmm?" She doesn't lift her head.
Kat finds there's nothing she has to say, not really. A few more minutes pass and eventually, almost reluctantly, Lily rolls off of Kat, onto her side. Her hand stays on Kat's hip, her pinky slipped under the denim there.
They fall asleep like this.
(They'll wake up, eventually, of course.
It'll be too close to intimacy, the way their eyes will meet and how they'll lay settled into each other, not really moving away for a good minute. It'll be too close to intimacy and it'll scare the fuck out of both of them.
They'll move, they'll look away. They won't look back.)
....TBC