"Taste Test"
Fandom: Portal
Pairing: Cave/Caroline
Rating: M
Summary: Cave and Caroline test out a new product.
Notes: Written for the Kink Meme. Kinks are dialogue-only (from the prompt) and fun with food (from my original typo of writing "taste" instead of "test"). I've never written out this many sex noises phonetically before... I feel sullied and unusual...
Disclaimer: Portal and all associated characters belong to Valve. I just borrow them for my own sick pleasure.
“Have you ever been in a romantic situation where things are going really well-starting to heat up, y’know-until you get to your girl’s undergarments, and you just can’t get ‘em off? Cave Johnson here, and today we’re tasting-‘scuse me, testing-our newest products straight from the lab, designed to solve that very problem: Aperture Science Edible Lingerie. And my lovely assistant looks good enough to eat. Say hello, Caroline.”
“Hello, Caroline!”
“Isn’t she something? Caroline is modeling our first set of prototypes, the Aperture Science Edible Brassiere and the matching Aperture Science Edible Panties. They’re just what they sound like-underwear that you can eat, or dessert that you can wear. Our labs are working to produce this line in a wide range of flavors; the ones currently available are chocolate, whipped cream, and what we’re demonstrating now, apple cinnamon. And the substance they’re made from is one-hundred-percent non-toxic-that’s an Aperture first, folks!
“Now, the genius of this product is that at room-temperature it’s a flexible solid-but it melts when heated by human skin, so it can easily be licked away, like this-”
“Ohoho, Mr. Johnson!”
“See? No fumbling, no fabric, no awkward clasps in the back-and it tastes great, too! With Aperture Science Edible Lingerie, clothes become a part of the foreplay. You and your significant other can experiment in all sorts of ways-and at Aperture, we’re all about experimenting. Isn’t that right, Caroline?”
“That’s right, sir!”
“Now Caroline, are you feeling flushed, a little lightheaded, maybe your heart’s starting to pound?”
“Actually, yes-”
“Good, that’s perfectly normal. Our special formula includes a cocktail of aphrodisiacs which work on both the wearer and their partner to enhance your experience as much as possible.”
“You didn’t mention that, sir-”
“As you can see, Caroline here is already working up a sweat. And-hah-after that one taste I’m getting a little excited myself. Lemme have another go at that…”
“Oh, Mr. Johnson-”
“Well we shouldn’t let this stuff go to waste, right?”
“You mean, we should see this test through to its logical conclusion, sir?”
“Exactly.”
“That sounds like the scientific thing to-ooh-sir-”
“Mmm, this stuff is good. C’mere, Caroline-”
“Sir, your clothes-”
“Ah! Right! See, if I were wearing Aperture Science Edibles, this wouldn’t be a problem! Hey, maybe we should make this a whole clothing line. I could wear suits made of this stuff...”
“Sir, the testing?”
“Right-okay, clothes are off-c’mere, you…”
“Oh, sir…”
“Mmmm…”
“Ahhh-”
“Oh! Careful, don’t want your knees giving out, now. Here, let’s-use this table here-there we go. Cave’s got you covered. Now where were we?”
“Right here, sir.”
“Hah, right! Mmh… Flavored boobs. I am a genius.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Johnson.”
“I could just take a bite out of you… In fact…”
“Oh-aah!”
“You like it when I do that?”
“Oooh…”
“I think that’s a yes. Now what if I try my fingers… in here…?”
“Aa-aah…”
“Haha, yep, definitely a yes! Wow, this aphrodisiac stuff packs quite a punch, doesn’t it? You’re soaked!”
“Mmh, sir-”
“Hold on, I gotta taste this.”
“Mr. Johnson-aaah-Mr. Johnson-!”
“Mmmm, that’s fantastic. Better than pie. Here, have a taste.”
“Mr. Jo-mmph-mmmm…”
“Good, huh? You want more?”
“I want you.”
“Oho, you do, huh? How’s-nngh-this?”
“Ahhhh-”
“You like that? Huh?”
“Ohhhh, Mr. Johnson-”
“That’s right-unh-say it-say my name-”
“Mr. Johnson!”
“Who’s your boss?”
“Mr. Johnson-”
“Yeah, that’s it-Cave fucking Johnson-”
“M-mr. John-son-aaaah-”
“Uuunh-”
“Aaah-hah-oh, sir…”
“Hnnng. Mmm. Not bad, huh Caroline?”
“Mmm. Not at all, sir.”
“I’d say that test was pretty damn successful.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Johnson.”
“Mhmm. We’d better get a custodian in here. This place is a little… sticky.”
“You’re a little sticky yourself, sir. Let me clean you up…”
“Aah, Caroline-”
“You’re right, sir, this is very good.”
“Ah-um-if we’re gonna be here a while, I’d better turn off the tape recorder. Cave Johnson-we’re-unh-not quite done here. Caroline, you are incredible.”
“Say goodbye, Mr. Johnson.”
“Ah-ngh-goodbye, Mr. Johnson.”
Pairing: Cave/Caroline
Rating: M
Summary: Cave and Caroline test out a new product.
Notes: Written for the Kink Meme. Kinks are dialogue-only (from the prompt) and fun with food (from my original typo of writing "taste" instead of "test"). I've never written out this many sex noises phonetically before... I feel sullied and unusual...
Disclaimer: Portal and all associated characters belong to Valve. I just borrow them for my own sick pleasure.
“Have you ever been in a romantic situation where things are going really well-starting to heat up, y’know-until you get to your girl’s undergarments, and you just can’t get ‘em off? Cave Johnson here, and today we’re tasting-‘scuse me, testing-our newest products straight from the lab, designed to solve that very problem: Aperture Science Edible Lingerie. And my lovely assistant looks good enough to eat. Say hello, Caroline.”
“Hello, Caroline!”
“Isn’t she something? Caroline is modeling our first set of prototypes, the Aperture Science Edible Brassiere and the matching Aperture Science Edible Panties. They’re just what they sound like-underwear that you can eat, or dessert that you can wear. Our labs are working to produce this line in a wide range of flavors; the ones currently available are chocolate, whipped cream, and what we’re demonstrating now, apple cinnamon. And the substance they’re made from is one-hundred-percent non-toxic-that’s an Aperture first, folks!
“Now, the genius of this product is that at room-temperature it’s a flexible solid-but it melts when heated by human skin, so it can easily be licked away, like this-”
“Ohoho, Mr. Johnson!”
“See? No fumbling, no fabric, no awkward clasps in the back-and it tastes great, too! With Aperture Science Edible Lingerie, clothes become a part of the foreplay. You and your significant other can experiment in all sorts of ways-and at Aperture, we’re all about experimenting. Isn’t that right, Caroline?”
“That’s right, sir!”
“Now Caroline, are you feeling flushed, a little lightheaded, maybe your heart’s starting to pound?”
“Actually, yes-”
“Good, that’s perfectly normal. Our special formula includes a cocktail of aphrodisiacs which work on both the wearer and their partner to enhance your experience as much as possible.”
“You didn’t mention that, sir-”
“As you can see, Caroline here is already working up a sweat. And-hah-after that one taste I’m getting a little excited myself. Lemme have another go at that…”
“Oh, Mr. Johnson-”
“Well we shouldn’t let this stuff go to waste, right?”
“You mean, we should see this test through to its logical conclusion, sir?”
“Exactly.”
“That sounds like the scientific thing to-ooh-sir-”
“Mmm, this stuff is good. C’mere, Caroline-”
“Sir, your clothes-”
“Ah! Right! See, if I were wearing Aperture Science Edibles, this wouldn’t be a problem! Hey, maybe we should make this a whole clothing line. I could wear suits made of this stuff...”
“Sir, the testing?”
“Right-okay, clothes are off-c’mere, you…”
“Oh, sir…”
“Mmmm…”
“Ahhh-”
“Oh! Careful, don’t want your knees giving out, now. Here, let’s-use this table here-there we go. Cave’s got you covered. Now where were we?”
“Right here, sir.”
“Hah, right! Mmh… Flavored boobs. I am a genius.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Johnson.”
“I could just take a bite out of you… In fact…”
“Oh-aah!”
“You like it when I do that?”
“Oooh…”
“I think that’s a yes. Now what if I try my fingers… in here…?”
“Aa-aah…”
“Haha, yep, definitely a yes! Wow, this aphrodisiac stuff packs quite a punch, doesn’t it? You’re soaked!”
“Mmh, sir-”
“Hold on, I gotta taste this.”
“Mr. Johnson-aaah-Mr. Johnson-!”
“Mmmm, that’s fantastic. Better than pie. Here, have a taste.”
“Mr. Jo-mmph-mmmm…”
“Good, huh? You want more?”
“I want you.”
“Oho, you do, huh? How’s-nngh-this?”
“Ahhhh-”
“You like that? Huh?”
“Ohhhh, Mr. Johnson-”
“That’s right-unh-say it-say my name-”
“Mr. Johnson!”
“Who’s your boss?”
“Mr. Johnson-”
“Yeah, that’s it-Cave fucking Johnson-”
“M-mr. John-son-aaaah-”
“Uuunh-”
“Aaah-hah-oh, sir…”
“Hnnng. Mmm. Not bad, huh Caroline?”
“Mmm. Not at all, sir.”
“I’d say that test was pretty damn successful.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Johnson.”
“Mhmm. We’d better get a custodian in here. This place is a little… sticky.”
“You’re a little sticky yourself, sir. Let me clean you up…”
“Aah, Caroline-”
“You’re right, sir, this is very good.”
“Ah-um-if we’re gonna be here a while, I’d better turn off the tape recorder. Cave Johnson-we’re-unh-not quite done here. Caroline, you are incredible.”
“Say goodbye, Mr. Johnson.”
“Ah-ngh-goodbye, Mr. Johnson.”