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The strange thing about coming home is that I I never really can. That's always been the problem. It's easy to get nostalgic about and I like fantasizing about coming back here to hide from my life. But, it never feels right; I don't belong.
The snow is thick and beautiful and all the red orange wood feels like oil paint.
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But as far as christmas goes - alot of people end up yearning for a feeling of family that they once felt, like a grass is greener situation, even if what they already have there is amazing (even minus certain things).
It makes me think that perhaprs our parents build christmas up to be about 'the kids' too much, which is making us feel harsh dissapointment in adulthood.
I know one thing I still feel genuine excitement by is giving people presents - I get so excited by wrapping something up and anticipating their reaction and excitement.
Though I admit, I hate the bit afterwards when I second guess everything and think I've let everyone down by not putting enough thought into it.
I apologize for my inane babbling.
I hope you have a lovely christmas day
x
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