Hurray for peer editing

[fuckboy_lost]

So I want people who have no lives, like you, to make comments on this piece of writing so that I can know what to change...

I probably wont take anything you say seriously, but hey, I might if you have an actual point of what's good and what isnt. Also, im horrid at grammer so if you see a big "no no" please tell me.

Also note that this is modeled

Comments

[_view]

i need coles notes.

[dantheman19]

to be completely honest, i have no idea what this is about.

from what i gather, the beginning section is just a descripton of this other world, then the second bit is about a guy travelling to a pod bay to go to work, getting into a pod, and then it just ends.

i'm not quite sure what the plot is, or if this is just the intro to a much bigger story.

no offence or anything, i just don't understand it.

[fuckboy_lost]

if you've ever read George Orwell's 1984 then you understand what this is about more. Bascally its an introduction to a story, the first chapter. You have the sections right, thats all I wrote, and thats all it technically is.

Mainly its a political satire on the Canadian gov't.

Mr.M=paul Martin (liberals)
Mr.H=(first name) Harper (conservatives)
Mr.L=Jack Layton (NDP)

Its susposed to analyze the world around me, and be creative and whatnot...

tell you the truth, I dont know what its about.

[surreal_satire]

i read it quickly, but all in all it was really well written
quick note: "abandon street" should be changed to abandoned
it has a lot of 1984 in it, good job
(see, i can be a nice peer evaluator too!)

[fuckboy_lost]

thanks.

[x_mac_x]

Piece of shit, and who the hell helped you out with The 3's dictum, that person must of been a complete idiot!

j/k, I didn't read it.....I'll get around to it though....sometime....probably tonight when I'm working on my philosophy essay....but seriously that person must be an idiot!

[fuckboy_lost]

a fucking retard is what he was.