i dont know when it happened but i've noticed that recently i cannot stand to have my mother touch me. she makes me extremely uncomfortable. there is so much that i wish i could say but it would hurt her and even though i sometimes think that i want to do it anyway. i cant. there is too much distance between us these days that i cant begin to try ( Read more... )

i feel like an absolute fool.
also its hot as hell, my room is practically an oven.

i wish i could escape from them for just a little while longer but i always have to come back. i let myself down and in the process everyone who ever believed in me.

i just did some serious online shopping. it was absolutely wonderful. i got clothes, music, and shoes!! yay! anyway now it is time to get ready to hang out with scott. its his birthday. call him and tell him happy birthday. he'll like it.anyway laters.

my life is in the total shitter right now. and things can only go up from here i would think...buit i suppose i could get arrested or raped or killed or some else equally as shitty but still its hard to see those so-called sliver linings i hear so much about when my nature is to be pessimistic and all the shit keeps getting higher and i keep losing

while brushing my teeth i just spit out a part of the tooth that the dentist was suppose to have removed...what the fuck!!!???!!!

interesting how now i can click artists on my iPod and Paris Hilton is listed there. the world is a wonderful place at the moment.thought you should know.

well this may seem to be a little on the late side but it will have to do ( Read more... )

i just saw the most beautiful black baby ask her doctor why she was positive because she didnt want to be any more. it was completely devestating. i almost cried right then.

every time i hang out with nick, which is not much, i realize how much i love him and how much i miss him. i am almost too exccited for our trip to scott. he is that part of me that i've lost over this year. he is the part of me that reminds me that i am 18 and i can do things that 18 year olds do and that its ok to drink and go to a party and talk ( Read more... )

by wednesday i'll be done with my first year of college. alot has happened this year.this will be a quick re-cap ( Read more... )