oh, my god. i want a twin. I WANT A TWIN RIGHT NOW. 

You wish you were eating the soup I'm eating right now. Orange and yellow swirls, creamy-peppery-spicy, sort-of-not-too thick... tasty and vegetarian and good for colds.  I'm making it every day from now on.

SERIOUSLY! THE !!! ALBUM!!!!!!! SEEEERRRRIOUSLY! Listen to this track, then go download the whole album and have a party. Invite me.

Fight for ( Read more... )

I bought a copy of Witch magazine, a book on Female Domination, and a piece of carrot cake at Borders yesterday. I just kept laughing at the idea of buying the magazine and putting it in Adrian's mailbox, and the dominatrix book I haven't decided where it should go yet, but I was rung up by the creepy guy! You know the one who used to wear tie dye ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Memo to Detroit: I'm fucking sick of you!

In other news, my bird laid an egg and I am in a winter-induced state of malaise. I want oranges, I want lemons, I want bare feet.

Should I watch Death Sentence, Womens Prison Massacre, or Orgasm Torture in Satan's Rape Clinic today?

Just kidding about the Rape Clinic, although that is a real movie title. By the team that gave us Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String!

It is hard for me to decide which is the better title.

After working during the day and going out during the night 4 days in a row, I fell asleep with my pants at knee height on Christmas Eve. I couldn't even stay awake long enough to take my jeans fully off.

So, Merry Christmas, I'm sick, talk to you later!

25$ gift certificate to Westborn Foods equals ( Read more... )

MY FAMILY!!!

MOM: Joe, could you pick up these books?

JOE: Those are your books! Why are you so lazy?!

MOM: Well, I think that if we were having a lazy compitition, you'd win!

JOE: Well, too bad we aren't in a STUPID DUMB BITCH compitition, because you'd be first fucking prize!!!

MOM: FUCK YOU!!! Are there any more cookies?

Something I hate: people talking about fictional characters like they are real people. "Maybe Hamlet's mother was, like, as pissed off as he was but she was like man, I've got to marry this dude to make sure that..." DUDE.