You know, for a story this long it is amazing how little actually happens. Most of the content in this chapter have nothing to do with characterization, plot or world building. There isn't even anything funny going on to distract us from that fact. If I was this author's editor I would have recommended that more than half would have been cut out. Of course, if I was this guy's editor I would have made sure that this fic wasn't published in the first place.
She looked pretty tired as well. Y'know, that reminds me of what Blake is actually going through in season 2, and thinking about it, she really wouldn't be hooking up with anybody at this point. Boy would just be a distraction.
AJ said sitting on a bench inside the infirmary Remember how they specifically called matches the moment anyone's aura went into the red, specifically to avoid this kind of thing? I know you know about it, because you padded it unnecessarily.
"Actually," AJ started and held his hand out to Yang. Ah, so it's Yang he's fighting. It shouldn't take me five paragraphs to figure that out. I assumed "rematch" meant Nora, since she's the one he just fought.
Haven't had to be seriously admitted here in a long time. Uh... you were sent to the infirmary three scenes ago!
You both knew what could happen in that fight. Which is why they'd both be in serious trouble. This fight was unsanctioned and, as shown, incredibly dangerous. Yang could have been killed
( ... )
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If I was this author's editor I would have recommended that more than half would have been cut out. Of course, if I was this guy's editor I would have made sure that this fic wasn't published in the first place.
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Y'know, that reminds me of what Blake is actually going through in season 2, and thinking about it, she really wouldn't be hooking up with anybody at this point. Boy would just be a distraction.
AJ said sitting on a bench inside the infirmary
Remember how they specifically called matches the moment anyone's aura went into the red, specifically to avoid this kind of thing? I know you know about it, because you padded it unnecessarily.
"Actually," AJ started and held his hand out to Yang.
Ah, so it's Yang he's fighting. It shouldn't take me five paragraphs to figure that out. I assumed "rematch" meant Nora, since she's the one he just fought.
Haven't had to be seriously admitted here in a long time.
Uh... you were sent to the infirmary three scenes ago!
You both knew what could happen in that fight.
Which is why they'd both be in serious trouble. This fight was unsanctioned and, as shown, incredibly dangerous. Yang could have been killed ( ... )
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