Comments | fufuyurifan: [Sporking] The Plus One of RWBY

fufuyurifan

[Sporking] The Plus One of RWBY - Chapter 10 part 4

Jun 23, 2015 00:24

Note from Fufu: I'm sorry its taken so long for this to go up. Part of it was that college was finishing up for me so I wanted to focus on the work I still had left to do, then the other week, myself and Kirby were busy trying to finish up chapter 11 and call that done. Hope that's okay~. Now enjoy the remains of Chapter 10. Or maybe not cause its ( Read more... )

fic: the plus one of rwby, fandom: rwby, sporker: kirby163, sporking, sporker: fufuyurifan

Comments 10

eurowatch June 23 2015, 11:03:05 UTC

Boy, while it is nice to finally see you care about someone else but yourself, I have to ask one thing: how is your situation relevant to Pyrrha's?
Pyrrha's problem is that she cares about her friends to much, Your problem is that you are to much of a jerk to care. Kind of the opposite situation between you two.

"He's probably the best exterminator I have ever seen." Ozpin said to himself.In that case you can drop him far outside the kingdoms where he can't bother anyone. Either he comes back and kills every Grimm on the way or he is killed. Either way everybody wins. Well, not Boy, but nobody cares about him ( ... )

beacon80 June 25 2015, 18:15:13 UTC

But that would imply that Boy isn't more powerful than the entire school put together. That's dangerously close to a nuanced, interesting character, and we just can't have that!

beacon80 June 25 2015, 18:12:00 UTC

"I have a few idea's but I still don't like it." Ruby said.
Ruby wears a combat skirt all the time. I don't buy her balking at wearing a pretty dress. Canonically, she's supposed to be upset that Blake is all distant and not going to the dance, so I guess ProAJ needed something else for her to be upset about and grabbed the first cliché that came to mind.

[Fufu]: ProAJ, pleeeeeeeease, put more into this! Don’t just make it straight up boring scene transcribing!
Seriously, the actual transcripts from the wiki have more scene dressing than he does.

"I'm not going!" He whispered to Yang.
For a brief moment, I thought this would be a "credit where credit is due" moment. I could easily see Yang or Ruby, after getting called out of an argument, continuing it in whispers while participating in the new conversation. It would be a very RWBY type thing to do. Except ProAJ doesn't commit to that, so it all falls flat anyway.

AJ walked up and opened the door.
Knock, Boy!

Don't make others feel better at the cost of yourselfThat's really only ( ... )

eurowatch June 25 2015, 21:07:18 UTC

'"I have a few idea's but I still don't like it." Ruby said.
Ruby wears a combat skirt all the time. I don't buy her balking at wearing a pretty dress. Canonically, she's supposed to be upset that Blake is all distant and not going to the dance, so I guess ProAJ needed something else for her to be upset about and grabbed the first cliché that came to mind.'

Watching the episode, I got the impression that Ruby didn't like the heels and that she didn't have someone to go out With (Weiss was taken after all), she was fine With the dress.

'AJ walked up and opened the door.
Knock, Boy!'

Wouldn't the dorm have locks that can only be opened by JNPR's scrolls anyway?
He also must have been listening in on their conversation because his timing was very specific...

beacon80 June 25 2015, 21:20:58 UTC

He's also surprisingly knowledgeable. I'm not saying Pyrrha hides her Jaune-crush all that well, and Boy's been around the two of them alone (even if he really shouldn't have been), but we never saw him come to the conclusion that Pyrrha likes Jaune, making it seem like he can tell she's putting Jaune's feelings above her own just from what's been said.

It's also extremely rude of him to call her out like that in front of her teammates. If she wasn't feeling anxious before, she certainly would be now.

eurowatch June 26 2015, 08:00:24 UTC

That is just Boy's 'I Have Watched Ahead' syndrome showing, the Author knows about Pyrrha's problem so Boy knows too ( ... )

talonicefire June 26 2015, 09:48:25 UTC

she never checked to see if they felt different, she just looked and saw that they looked the same.

You know what they say about explaining the joke? This goes doubly so when you don't understand the joke. You're just proving what an idiot you are.

"Not going!" AJ said in the backgroundSELFISH BASTARD! You know what, I don't care if the conflict about Blake slowing down was resolved. In fact, after that resolution, I think it's even more important that Blake appears at the dance, because it would be fun and what's better than doing something fun with your friends to help the wine down ( ... )

talonicefire June 26 2015, 11:01:47 UTC

"Pyrrha!" He said annoyed. Everyone in the dorm, except Pyrrha, looked up at him. "Don't be stupid! Don't make others feel better at the cost of yourself I did that when I was young! I told everyone I was fine when I hurt inside and now you're just letting him walk away!? I thought you were smarter than that." AJ said and walked back out of their dorm and closed the door,... you seriously had Boy just bust in, go on about how twagic his life was, then leave? How does this help at all? Ignoring how this has nothing to do with Pyrrha and how this just to bring focus on Boy again, once again marginalising the problem's of a character in the fic, let's just focus on how this doesn't work at all ( ... )

talonicefire June 26 2015, 11:16:13 UTC

Then you got Boy in comparison who is just "I had no friends for a long time and I tried to pretend I was okay with it but I wasn't". In comparison this looks weak. I know it's terrible to say, but people do compare and rank the horribleness of bad experiences. Especially so with characters in a fictional series. And no one in the right mind would think that Boy's current backstory is on par with any of the backstories we know from team RWBY. Particularly so with how this fic portrays Weiss' backstory. I'm not meant to feel sorry for her because people in her family have been killed in front of her, but I'm supposed to feel sorry for Boy because he's shy and can't work the balls up to put himself out there to make friends? On what planet does this make sense ( ... )

talonicefire June 26 2015, 11:16:28 UTC

"Because it's so weird seeing how well you get along! You guys make out when no one is looking, you hold hands all the time, you cuddle whenever you guys sit together in lunch. I don't get how that happens when you guys haven't gone on a single date yet!" Yang yelled suddenly.

Calling the department of forced conflict. One of your rejected plot lines have escaped the trash heap and worked itself into a fic. Please terminate the fic before the contamination spreads.

"AAAGGGH!" AJ yelled in annoyance that Yang wouldn't just leave them alone.

I'm surprised he didn't try to kill Yang.

[insert the entire fucking fight scene where they try to catch him but fail]

What bugs me here is how the girls are clearly trying to just catch him, but Boy is attacking back. He's kicking, using his aura, throwing them at each other. Whereas, except for one moment where Yang got pissed off, they've only tried to tackle him and restrain him. With a friend like him, who needs enemies?

"I realized when you convinced Blake that I was going to end up ( ... )