[Sporking] The Plus One of RWBY - Chapter 10 part 6
When the dance was over Ruby came back and explained what happened while she was away. They were all just glad she was ok, and proud that she tried to fight whoever had broke in. The next day they waited for Ruby to come back from Ozpin's office and when she did come back AJ had to pull everyone away from her to give her space.
[Fufu]: *flails* NJKJKSDBJK- *grabs Kirby and shakes her while pointing at it* THAT-!
[Kirby]: *is shook* @-@ Please to better descriptions, yes?
[Fufu]: FUCKING- HE REDUCES DOWN THE DRAMA AND CONFLICT FROM THE ORIGINAL SHOW - THE SHIT PEOPLE WANT TO SEE IN RWBY - AND THEN HE HAS THE MOTHERFUKCING BALLS TO HAVE AJ STILL BE THE ONLY SANE MAN?!
"Well that was a risky move." Weiss said after Ruby explained what she said.
"Yes but luckily Ozpin is smart and covered for the slip up. He really helped us there." AJ said.
[Kirby]: Okay, I don’t trust Ironwood farther than I could throw him, but I don’t think Oz was necessarily “helping” by keeping info from him and Glynda.
[Fufu]: ...Hang on another minute. AJ is Ozpin’s favourite student, and he gets all the privileges, right?
[Kirby]: Aye?
[Fufu]: ...Wouldn’t AJ have met Ironwood by this point then? At some point?! Why haven’t we heard of Ironwood yet in the fic?
[Kirby]: Good point. This fic!Ozpin would definitely want to show off his fav pupil. Maybe he did too much pot and forgot. Or maybe he got sober for Ironwood’s visit and realized AJ’s existence is impossible, and concluded that he doesn’t really exist.
[Fufu]: Getting kind of airy in here with all these plotholes, innit?
"You handled it well Ruby." Blake said.
"I hope so." Ruby said.
"I'm sure everything will be alright." Yang said with a hand on her sister's shoulder. "OH! I know what will cheer you up!" Yang said.
[Fufu]: AJ’s eradication from the fic?
[Kirby]: Not quite as good, but still pretty great.
"What?" Ruby asked.
Yang grabbed a cylindrical shaped package. "Don't know yet, but Dad sent it to us." Yang said.
[Kirby]: OMG, it’s happening.
"OH! SOMETHING FROM HOME!" Ruby squealed and tried to grab the package. The bottom lid opened and a black cylinder fell out of it, everyone looked down at it and the black shape turned into a small dog.
[Kirby]: Yes, you did read that right.
[Fufu]: And yes, this is from the show. The author is still transcribing the scene here.
"AAH!" The girls yelled in joy and fright.
"Zwei!" Ruby cheered.
"Huh!?" AJ said looking at the dog and Blake hid behind him. "He sent a Corgi!?"
[Fufu]: ...The breed was never really specified. Yeah, Zwei is a corgi, that much is pretty freaking obvious, but Blake just said, “He sent a dog?!”
[Kirby]: Maybe AJ is a dog aficionado.
"In the mail!?" Weiss asked.
Ruby was holding Zwei and he was licking her face repeatedly. "Oh he does this kind of stuff all the time." Yang explained.
"Your dad or your dog?" Blake asked. Ruby put Zwei down and she moved onto Ruby's bed to get off the floor where the dog was.
[Fufu]: I’ve spotted some pronoun errors here. Since Ruby was the last “she” to be mentioned, this line implies that Ruby put Zwei on the ground, then moved to her own bed to avoid him.
"Are you telling me this…mutt, is gonna wiv with us foev'a?" Weiss asked starting angry and quickly going into the speech you normally go to when talking to a cute little puppy like Zwei. "Oh yes he is! Oh yes he is!"
[Fufu]: Well way to spoil another joke. And this time it isn’t by AJ’s inclusion but just the author’s own shitty writing.
[Kirby]: Weiss’ love of cute puppies makes me so happy though!
"Please keep it away from my belongings." Blake said.
[Fufu]: --she deadpanned.
[Kirby]: --from on top of Ruby’s bunk, having put as much distance between herself and the dog as possible.
"Oh calm down. It's just a dog. A nice, small dog that doesn't want to hurt you." AJ said and Blake glared at him. "And he isn't contagious."
[Fufu]: ...Is he implying that Zwei could’ve had rabies or some shit?
"Would all first year students please report to the amphitheater." A voice said through the intercom.
"Well we can't exactly leave him here while we're gone for a week." Weiss pointed out.
Zwei stood next to AJ and joined him in looking up at Blake. "See? He wants to say hi!" AJ said. Zwei barked up at Blake. Blake wasn't budging.
[Fufu]: Your contribution is sloppily slotted in and so it just makes this scene seems really choppy in terms of how everything is flowing.
[Kirby]: Also, ruining the Blake acting like a cat joke.
[Fufu]: Yeah well, it’s been long since established that AJ is the cockblocker of jokes.
"Look! There's a letter!" Yang said and pulled a letter out of the package. "Dear Girls, I've got to leave the island for a few days, so I'm sending Zwei to you to take care of. Enclosed is all the food you should need." Zwei's ears perked up at the word food and he walked over to them.
[Fufu]: He ran. It’s a teeny nitpick, but fuckit. I will make this distinction.
"Love you both, Taiyang." Yang shook the container and a large pile of food cans buried Zwei but he quickly stuck his head out of the pile. 'How did all that fit in there along with the dog and a letter!' AJ thought.
[Fufu]: Because cartoon tropes and Rule of Funny.
[Kirby]: Also, Magic Pockets are a thing in this world. Remember how Ren somehow stores his weapon in his sleeves?
"What is he supposed to do with that?" Weiss asked and a can opener dropped out of the package on cue.
"Well, that settles it! Zwei will be here when we get back!" Yang said and walked out. She apparently thought Zwei could use the can opener.
[Fufu]: Because that’s part of the joke. He’s apparently smart enough to use a can opener and take care of himself. Though that does beg the question of why send him to the girls in the first place...
[Kirby]: Maybe Taiyang didn’t want Zwei to get lonely, which would be kinda funny considering they were going to leave Zwei alone while they went on their mission anyway.
Weiss puppy talked Zwei before leaving and Blake leapt from Ruby's bed to a nearby table and leapt out the door without having the touch the ground near Zwei.
[Fufu]: ...And surprisingly, we don’t hear what AJ does. Which doesn’t explain why the scene just cuts out there. Though we can sort of gather than Blake leaving meant that he left as well, cause y’know, they’re both stuck to each others’ damn hips. But seriously, this last little bit of the scene, AJ just disappeared, not including his inclusions via thought. Wow. Author can’t even think how to include his own character. That’s...telling.
[Kirby]: By the way, Ruby hangs back for a moment here and is wearing a backpack in the next scene. You’ll see why later.
They all headed over to the amphitheater and stood near team JNPR.
"Professor Ozpin would like to share a few words before we begin." Glynda said on stage before walking away and letting Ozpin speak.
"Today we stand together, united. Mistral, Atlas, Vacuo, Vale. Four Kingdoms of Remnant. On this day, nearly 80 years ago, the largest war in recorded history came to an end. It was a war of ignorance, greed, oppression. A war that was for much more than where borders fell or who traded with who, but the very idea of individualism itself. We fought for countless reasons, one of them being the destruction of all forms of art and self expression, and as you are well aware, that was something many could not stand for. As a result, those who opposed this tyranny began naming their children after one of the many aspects of art itself, color. It was their way to demonstrate, that not only would they refuse to tolerate this oppression, neither would the generations to follow. It was a trend that held to this day. We encourage, individuality, expressionism, and unity, through diversity. As I have said, today we stand together, united. But this bond cannot exist without effort. Which is why today, while the rest of the world celebrates peace, Huntsman and Huntresses will work to uphold it. As first year students, you will shadow a professional Huntsman or Huntress on a mission, some of you may be taken out of the kingdom for several days, others may work within the walls for the rest of the week. But no matter what path you choose, remember to be safe, remember your training, and remember to do your very best." Ozpin finished and got off stage.
[Kirby]: Holy shit, way to take a moderately cool speech in make it impossible to read.
[Fufu]: Not to mention how boring this all sounds. This is supposed to be a proud speech where Ozpin motivates the students and reminds them that most of them will carry remnants of a troubled past, so they must stand for a brighter future. And yet I just skimmed past that - partially because of the massive paragraph - and thought, “Whatevs.”
"All we have to do is shadow a Huntsman is the Southeast!" Ruby said.
"That's perfect!" AJ realized.
[Fufu]: ...What does this contribute to Ruby’s sentence?
"We'll work with them by day and give em' the slip at night!" Yang said.
"A bit overdramatic." Blake chuckled.
[Kirby]: Wild Random Non-Canon Line Appeared!
"Let's check Search and Destroy." Weiss suggested.
"Alright, lets see here…" AJ said looking at the list.
[Fufu]: Step the fuck away from the list and let your damn leader read it. Y’know, like she did in canon.
"Here we go! Quadrant 5 needs Grimm cleared out!" Ruby said.
"It's in the Southeast." Blake said.
"Good place to start then." AJ said.
"Let's do it!" Yang said excitedly.
Ruby entered their team name but it said the mission is now available to first years.
[Fufu]: Then I don’t see a problem here~! Unless this is just another spelling error.
[Kirby]: Lol, plothole by spelling mistake. That's legitimately funny.
[Fufu]: And this is a weird mistake too, since the t and w keys have a decent enough gap between them that this probably shouldn’t have happened. Not unless the author was just firing away at his keyboard without thinking, nor did he go back and fix things. Though I guess we’ve long since established that to be the case.
"Wonderful." Weiss said sarcastically.
"Any other ideas?" Blake asked.
"Maybe a different mission?" AJ suggested.
"We mail ourselves there!" Ruby suggested.
"That's one option."
[Kirby]: With AJ’s inclusion, that’s actually two options.
Ozpin said as he walked up to them. "Unfortunately we thought the concentration of Grimm was too high for first year students. Then again, you do have a very good exterminator in your team,"
[Fufu]: So they lampshade AJ’s wild Grimm culling sessions, but they find no fault in it? Despite the fact that every single time has been instigated and motivated by sheer anger?
[Kirby]: You know, the Grimm are attracted to negative emotion, they should be flocking to AJ like crows on roadkill.
Everyone looked at each other trying to figure out who that was. "A very protective one." Ozpin finished and they all looked at AJ who laughed sheepishly at the attention. "I am still curious how you all found yourselves at the docks last semester." AJ felt Blake squeeze his hand slightly in worry. "I'm interested to know how you really learned about a hideout in the Southeast, and I'm most curious as to why people reported rose petals in a dance club (there actually was one in the show believe it or not)
[Kirby]: Actually, Ozpin does bring up rose petals in the dance club in the show, which is odd, considering we’ve never seen Ruby enter that club.
[Fufu]: Unless it was Yang that caused them...somehow.
[Kirby]: I don’t know, maybe it’s something they’ll bring up later.
and white feathers and a massive robot running by that same club some time ago. But if AJ won't tell me, well I doubt I ever will get the answers I'm looking for." 'He never questioned me… oh! He knows we did it but is just pretending, ok. Good guy Ozpin!'
[Fufu]: Y’know, just something the audience and the girls picked up on their own in the show. But nope, we need to have our hands held during this.
"So how about this, instead of waiting for you all to break the rules, why don't we just bend them?"
[Kirby]: You don’t need to, the mission is available to first-years now.
[Fufu]: Seriously Ozpin, keep up. Or lay off the weed, it clearly isn’t doing you any favours.
Ozpin said and they saw their team name put in for the mission.
"Thank you sir." AJ said.
"We won't let you down." Ruby said.
"Do not thank me for this, teamwork and persistence have carried you far, but you must understand, the things that wait for you out there will not care. Stay close to your Huntsman at all times, and do exactly as he says. He will be leading you on this mission, and he can have you sent back." Ozpin said before walking away. Then quickly leaned back towards them. "Good luck." And left.
[Fufu]: ??? That...huh? That is some weird prose, and he’s doing some weird actions there, unless this is again just the author’s shitty writing.
[Kirby]: Just yet another visual gag that doesn’t translate well to writing.
"Well that wasn't exactly uplifting." Yang said as they walked out of the amphitheater heading towards the landing pads for ships to land at Beacon.
"Well it's the truth." AJ said.
[Kirby]: That was Blake’s line.
"It's gonna be tough but I know we can do it!" Ruby said.
"Hey look! Team Coffee is back!"
[Fufu]: *splutters* Seriously?! Author, seriously?! Given the theme that team names go for, given all the other team names that’ve shown up - that you’ve been fine with as well! - and yet you can’t get freaking CFVY right?!
A fellow first year said as the team walked through the crowd.
"Velvet!? Are you ok?" Blake asked.
[Kirby]: Velvet is a member of Team CFVY by the way--
[Fufu]: --not that youse would know given that the damn author can’t write their team name properly--
[Kirby]: --And she’s the rabbit girl Cardin bullied/s (once in the show, regularly in this fic (which doesn’t make sense, considering how strong and protective Velvet’s team is, they wouldn’t let it slide more than once)). It’s good to remind readers about characters they haven’t seen for a while.
[Fufu]: As for the rest of the team, we’ll get to them when they show up in the next chapter~. It’s gonna be gooooooood! :D *crosses fingers that AJ will leave CFVY’s badass moment the fuck alone*
"I'm fine! I had Yatsuhashi to look out for me!" Velvet said.
"Your mission was supposed to end a week ago. What happened?" Weiss asked.
"Nothing happened… there were just so many…" Velvet explained.
[Fufu]: This...it wasn’t really an “explanation”, more a statement. And she said it quietly for that extra emphasis. To give us the idea that “Hey, Velvet and her team are older than team RWBY and thus more experienced, and yet they had trouble. So what’s considered tough enough to throw off these guys and what is RWBY getting into?” Which is then backed up further when CFVY show up later and kick all the motherfucking ass. And that was legit quite a few Grimm too.
"Ominous." AJ said to himself.
"Oh but don't worry, you first year's ([Kirby]: No apostrophe) are just shadowing a Huntsman, you'll be fine!" Velvet said. "I should go. Be safe ok?"
[Fufu]: I can hear this sentence’s silent screams as it begs for proper formatting and punctuation.
"We can do this! We never backed down before and we won't stop now!" Ruby said.
"Ya!" AJ and Yang said.
"Right!" Blake said.
"Besides! It won't just be us we'll be fighting along side ([Kirby]: One word) a genuine Huntsman!" Ruby said excitedly.
That excitement was lost when they saw who they had to work with.
[Fufu]: Oh come on, author! You can actually do a decent Gilligan’s Cut joke in writing! Well, I use the general you, since clearly, you can’t write period. Harsh? Maybe. But it’s chapter 10 of 11, and I’m done with this guy. Maybe if he actually practised and took advice to heart and tried to improve, I’d be kinder. And this is not helped by the fact that, as of writing this (17/05/15), the author has posted what is basically a temper tantrum on his profile asking people to not be mean and only say his stories are amazing. And I’m only slightly exaggerating.
"Professor-" Weiss started.
"OOBLECK!?" AJ finished.
[Kirby]: That’s DOCTOR Oobleck!
"Why hello everyone!" Oobleck said. "Who's ready to fight for their lives!?" He said with enthusiasm.
[Kirby]: And now the Author’s Note
Ya, rather you think this is a major romance or not, it is when compared to what it was supposed to be, no idea why I focused so much on it when it started but I'm not complaining. Just pretend there is a third thing along with Adventure and Friendship that says romance, K?
[Fufu]: ...I can’t really tell what you’re trying to say here.
[Kirby]: I think he’s referring to the genre filters on fanfiction.
[Fufu]: No, I figured that bit, but the rest of this sentence reads like he put it through google translate. ...Actually no, Google Translate can at least make most of its sentences make sense. This is just straight up confusing.
Yes the scene with Blake removing her bow was random and pointless but I did it anyway cause reasons!
[Kirby]: *violent spasm*
[Fufu]: *disgusted glaring*
And I feel bad for taking away Blake and Yang's moment but he wouldn't be much of a boyfriend if he didn't convince Blake to slow down!
[Fufu]: ...no. I- *deep breath* I… I’m not. We talked about it. This is bullshit. And unless Kirby has something to add, that is all that can be said. Just no.
[Kirby]: I will say that that could be a legitimate point, it would make sense for a theoretical significant other of Blake’s to talk her out of the self-destructive behaviour. But here’s the thing, because we got such a great scene in canon (that of Yang’s backstory), whatever you do to replace that scene has to be at least as emotionally charged and revealing of character. Author failed spectacularly, but the point isn’t wrong, just the execution.
This might just end in the next chapter, I'm surprised! It's been that long already? I've typed that much already!?
[Fufu]: God, I know.
[Kirby]: We started this chapter at episode 2 and ended it with episode 8. Waaaaaaaay too long.
Well, luckily I have two idea's ([Kirby]: No apostrophe) for fanfics after this. One with RWBY characters in a post-nuclear Earth and frankly the main OC will be similar to this one because I can't possibly create a character that doesn't act like me, I just wouldn't know how he/she would react to things if they don't think like I do.
[Fufu]: That really says a lot about your skill, especially when compared to other authors out there. I mean, people can create a wide variety of characters with different appearances and personalities and goals. And yet you can’t because you wouldn’t know how they think? Why not try visualising them and asking them? That’s a method you could use! One that Stephenie Meyer admitted to using, so this fits given all the references and comparisons I’ve made.
[Kirby]: Good grief, I created over thirty pokemon oc’s, nine of them with full backstories, just for a forum roleplay. It’s not that hard.
Another one is a Destiny fic where a Hunter and a Warlock go through the story of Destiny. So those will happen, gonna try the RWBY one first though, after this of course!
[Fufu]: Currently no sign of the Destiny one, folks. But he did post the apocalypse AU one. It hasn’t been updated since 13th March.
[Kirby]: Oh hey, it’s rated ‘M for gore’! *quick skim* ...You know author, just because you use the word “blood” does not mean you need to rate it ‘M’. Give me dismemberment and guts in all their dripping, swishy, bone-crunching glory, then you’ll have earned it.
Edit: I have started the fic by the time you are reading this! I posted early cause I already started on that fic and the last chapter (for now) of this fic is already done so I figured I would give you this to end your weekend! YOUR WELCOME!
[Kirby]: Meh.
This chapter has just over 12900 words! A NEW RECORD!
[Fufu]: Greeeeeat. More work for me. -3-
~*~*~
[Fufu]: *getting excited* We’re nearly done, holy shit!
[Kirby]: One more damn chapter and we’re home free! Until he goes after volume three at least.
[Fufu]: The end is in sight! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is just about in reach!
[Kirby]: And when we reach the end, there will be glorious spite!fic!
[Fufu]: We might have another guest sporking with us! Maybe. Don’t quote us on that. And don’t get your hopes up too high in case we don’t.
[Kirby]: We could always bring Weiss back, or another member of Team RWBY.
[Fufu]: Or JNPR. Or CFVY. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves here! The biggest thing is that next time is the end! (Volume 3 pending)
[Kirby]: SEE YOU THEN!
[Fufu]: SAYONARA PEOPLE!
[Fufu]: *flails* NJKJKSDBJK- *grabs Kirby and shakes her while pointing at it* THAT-!
[Kirby]: *is shook* @-@ Please to better descriptions, yes?
[Fufu]: FUCKING- HE REDUCES DOWN THE DRAMA AND CONFLICT FROM THE ORIGINAL SHOW - THE SHIT PEOPLE WANT TO SEE IN RWBY - AND THEN HE HAS THE MOTHERFUKCING BALLS TO HAVE AJ STILL BE THE ONLY SANE MAN?!
"Well that was a risky move." Weiss said after Ruby explained what she said.
"Yes but luckily Ozpin is smart and covered for the slip up. He really helped us there." AJ said.
[Kirby]: Okay, I don’t trust Ironwood farther than I could throw him, but I don’t think Oz was necessarily “helping” by keeping info from him and Glynda.
[Fufu]: ...Hang on another minute. AJ is Ozpin’s favourite student, and he gets all the privileges, right?
[Kirby]: Aye?
[Fufu]: ...Wouldn’t AJ have met Ironwood by this point then? At some point?! Why haven’t we heard of Ironwood yet in the fic?
[Kirby]: Good point. This fic!Ozpin would definitely want to show off his fav pupil. Maybe he did too much pot and forgot. Or maybe he got sober for Ironwood’s visit and realized AJ’s existence is impossible, and concluded that he doesn’t really exist.
[Fufu]: Getting kind of airy in here with all these plotholes, innit?
"You handled it well Ruby." Blake said.
"I hope so." Ruby said.
"I'm sure everything will be alright." Yang said with a hand on her sister's shoulder. "OH! I know what will cheer you up!" Yang said.
[Fufu]: AJ’s eradication from the fic?
[Kirby]: Not quite as good, but still pretty great.
"What?" Ruby asked.
Yang grabbed a cylindrical shaped package. "Don't know yet, but Dad sent it to us." Yang said.
[Kirby]: OMG, it’s happening.
"OH! SOMETHING FROM HOME!" Ruby squealed and tried to grab the package. The bottom lid opened and a black cylinder fell out of it, everyone looked down at it and the black shape turned into a small dog.
[Kirby]: Yes, you did read that right.
[Fufu]: And yes, this is from the show. The author is still transcribing the scene here.
"AAH!" The girls yelled in joy and fright.
"Zwei!" Ruby cheered.
"Huh!?" AJ said looking at the dog and Blake hid behind him. "He sent a Corgi!?"
[Fufu]: ...The breed was never really specified. Yeah, Zwei is a corgi, that much is pretty freaking obvious, but Blake just said, “He sent a dog?!”
[Kirby]: Maybe AJ is a dog aficionado.
"In the mail!?" Weiss asked.
Ruby was holding Zwei and he was licking her face repeatedly. "Oh he does this kind of stuff all the time." Yang explained.
"Your dad or your dog?" Blake asked. Ruby put Zwei down and she moved onto Ruby's bed to get off the floor where the dog was.
[Fufu]: I’ve spotted some pronoun errors here. Since Ruby was the last “she” to be mentioned, this line implies that Ruby put Zwei on the ground, then moved to her own bed to avoid him.
"Are you telling me this…mutt, is gonna wiv with us foev'a?" Weiss asked starting angry and quickly going into the speech you normally go to when talking to a cute little puppy like Zwei. "Oh yes he is! Oh yes he is!"
[Fufu]: Well way to spoil another joke. And this time it isn’t by AJ’s inclusion but just the author’s own shitty writing.
[Kirby]: Weiss’ love of cute puppies makes me so happy though!
"Please keep it away from my belongings." Blake said.
[Fufu]: --she deadpanned.
[Kirby]: --from on top of Ruby’s bunk, having put as much distance between herself and the dog as possible.
"Oh calm down. It's just a dog. A nice, small dog that doesn't want to hurt you." AJ said and Blake glared at him. "And he isn't contagious."
[Fufu]: ...Is he implying that Zwei could’ve had rabies or some shit?
"Would all first year students please report to the amphitheater." A voice said through the intercom.
"Well we can't exactly leave him here while we're gone for a week." Weiss pointed out.
Zwei stood next to AJ and joined him in looking up at Blake. "See? He wants to say hi!" AJ said. Zwei barked up at Blake. Blake wasn't budging.
[Fufu]: Your contribution is sloppily slotted in and so it just makes this scene seems really choppy in terms of how everything is flowing.
[Kirby]: Also, ruining the Blake acting like a cat joke.
[Fufu]: Yeah well, it’s been long since established that AJ is the cockblocker of jokes.
"Look! There's a letter!" Yang said and pulled a letter out of the package. "Dear Girls, I've got to leave the island for a few days, so I'm sending Zwei to you to take care of. Enclosed is all the food you should need." Zwei's ears perked up at the word food and he walked over to them.
[Fufu]: He ran. It’s a teeny nitpick, but fuckit. I will make this distinction.
"Love you both, Taiyang." Yang shook the container and a large pile of food cans buried Zwei but he quickly stuck his head out of the pile. 'How did all that fit in there along with the dog and a letter!' AJ thought.
[Fufu]: Because cartoon tropes and Rule of Funny.
[Kirby]: Also, Magic Pockets are a thing in this world. Remember how Ren somehow stores his weapon in his sleeves?
"What is he supposed to do with that?" Weiss asked and a can opener dropped out of the package on cue.
"Well, that settles it! Zwei will be here when we get back!" Yang said and walked out. She apparently thought Zwei could use the can opener.
[Fufu]: Because that’s part of the joke. He’s apparently smart enough to use a can opener and take care of himself. Though that does beg the question of why send him to the girls in the first place...
[Kirby]: Maybe Taiyang didn’t want Zwei to get lonely, which would be kinda funny considering they were going to leave Zwei alone while they went on their mission anyway.
Weiss puppy talked Zwei before leaving and Blake leapt from Ruby's bed to a nearby table and leapt out the door without having the touch the ground near Zwei.
[Fufu]: ...And surprisingly, we don’t hear what AJ does. Which doesn’t explain why the scene just cuts out there. Though we can sort of gather than Blake leaving meant that he left as well, cause y’know, they’re both stuck to each others’ damn hips. But seriously, this last little bit of the scene, AJ just disappeared, not including his inclusions via thought. Wow. Author can’t even think how to include his own character. That’s...telling.
[Kirby]: By the way, Ruby hangs back for a moment here and is wearing a backpack in the next scene. You’ll see why later.
They all headed over to the amphitheater and stood near team JNPR.
"Professor Ozpin would like to share a few words before we begin." Glynda said on stage before walking away and letting Ozpin speak.
"Today we stand together, united. Mistral, Atlas, Vacuo, Vale. Four Kingdoms of Remnant. On this day, nearly 80 years ago, the largest war in recorded history came to an end. It was a war of ignorance, greed, oppression. A war that was for much more than where borders fell or who traded with who, but the very idea of individualism itself. We fought for countless reasons, one of them being the destruction of all forms of art and self expression, and as you are well aware, that was something many could not stand for. As a result, those who opposed this tyranny began naming their children after one of the many aspects of art itself, color. It was their way to demonstrate, that not only would they refuse to tolerate this oppression, neither would the generations to follow. It was a trend that held to this day. We encourage, individuality, expressionism, and unity, through diversity. As I have said, today we stand together, united. But this bond cannot exist without effort. Which is why today, while the rest of the world celebrates peace, Huntsman and Huntresses will work to uphold it. As first year students, you will shadow a professional Huntsman or Huntress on a mission, some of you may be taken out of the kingdom for several days, others may work within the walls for the rest of the week. But no matter what path you choose, remember to be safe, remember your training, and remember to do your very best." Ozpin finished and got off stage.
[Kirby]: Holy shit, way to take a moderately cool speech in make it impossible to read.
[Fufu]: Not to mention how boring this all sounds. This is supposed to be a proud speech where Ozpin motivates the students and reminds them that most of them will carry remnants of a troubled past, so they must stand for a brighter future. And yet I just skimmed past that - partially because of the massive paragraph - and thought, “Whatevs.”
"All we have to do is shadow a Huntsman is the Southeast!" Ruby said.
"That's perfect!" AJ realized.
[Fufu]: ...What does this contribute to Ruby’s sentence?
"We'll work with them by day and give em' the slip at night!" Yang said.
"A bit overdramatic." Blake chuckled.
[Kirby]: Wild Random Non-Canon Line Appeared!
"Let's check Search and Destroy." Weiss suggested.
"Alright, lets see here…" AJ said looking at the list.
[Fufu]: Step the fuck away from the list and let your damn leader read it. Y’know, like she did in canon.
"Here we go! Quadrant 5 needs Grimm cleared out!" Ruby said.
"It's in the Southeast." Blake said.
"Good place to start then." AJ said.
"Let's do it!" Yang said excitedly.
Ruby entered their team name but it said the mission is now available to first years.
[Fufu]: Then I don’t see a problem here~! Unless this is just another spelling error.
[Kirby]: Lol, plothole by spelling mistake. That's legitimately funny.
[Fufu]: And this is a weird mistake too, since the t and w keys have a decent enough gap between them that this probably shouldn’t have happened. Not unless the author was just firing away at his keyboard without thinking, nor did he go back and fix things. Though I guess we’ve long since established that to be the case.
"Wonderful." Weiss said sarcastically.
"Any other ideas?" Blake asked.
"Maybe a different mission?" AJ suggested.
"We mail ourselves there!" Ruby suggested.
"That's one option."
[Kirby]: With AJ’s inclusion, that’s actually two options.
Ozpin said as he walked up to them. "Unfortunately we thought the concentration of Grimm was too high for first year students. Then again, you do have a very good exterminator in your team,"
[Fufu]: So they lampshade AJ’s wild Grimm culling sessions, but they find no fault in it? Despite the fact that every single time has been instigated and motivated by sheer anger?
[Kirby]: You know, the Grimm are attracted to negative emotion, they should be flocking to AJ like crows on roadkill.
Everyone looked at each other trying to figure out who that was. "A very protective one." Ozpin finished and they all looked at AJ who laughed sheepishly at the attention. "I am still curious how you all found yourselves at the docks last semester." AJ felt Blake squeeze his hand slightly in worry. "I'm interested to know how you really learned about a hideout in the Southeast, and I'm most curious as to why people reported rose petals in a dance club (there actually was one in the show believe it or not)
[Kirby]: Actually, Ozpin does bring up rose petals in the dance club in the show, which is odd, considering we’ve never seen Ruby enter that club.
[Fufu]: Unless it was Yang that caused them...somehow.
[Kirby]: I don’t know, maybe it’s something they’ll bring up later.
and white feathers and a massive robot running by that same club some time ago. But if AJ won't tell me, well I doubt I ever will get the answers I'm looking for." 'He never questioned me… oh! He knows we did it but is just pretending, ok. Good guy Ozpin!'
[Fufu]: Y’know, just something the audience and the girls picked up on their own in the show. But nope, we need to have our hands held during this.
"So how about this, instead of waiting for you all to break the rules, why don't we just bend them?"
[Kirby]: You don’t need to, the mission is available to first-years now.
[Fufu]: Seriously Ozpin, keep up. Or lay off the weed, it clearly isn’t doing you any favours.
Ozpin said and they saw their team name put in for the mission.
"Thank you sir." AJ said.
"We won't let you down." Ruby said.
"Do not thank me for this, teamwork and persistence have carried you far, but you must understand, the things that wait for you out there will not care. Stay close to your Huntsman at all times, and do exactly as he says. He will be leading you on this mission, and he can have you sent back." Ozpin said before walking away. Then quickly leaned back towards them. "Good luck." And left.
[Fufu]: ??? That...huh? That is some weird prose, and he’s doing some weird actions there, unless this is again just the author’s shitty writing.
[Kirby]: Just yet another visual gag that doesn’t translate well to writing.
"Well that wasn't exactly uplifting." Yang said as they walked out of the amphitheater heading towards the landing pads for ships to land at Beacon.
"Well it's the truth." AJ said.
[Kirby]: That was Blake’s line.
"It's gonna be tough but I know we can do it!" Ruby said.
"Hey look! Team Coffee is back!"
[Fufu]: *splutters* Seriously?! Author, seriously?! Given the theme that team names go for, given all the other team names that’ve shown up - that you’ve been fine with as well! - and yet you can’t get freaking CFVY right?!
A fellow first year said as the team walked through the crowd.
"Velvet!? Are you ok?" Blake asked.
[Kirby]: Velvet is a member of Team CFVY by the way--
[Fufu]: --not that youse would know given that the damn author can’t write their team name properly--
[Kirby]: --And she’s the rabbit girl Cardin bullied/s (once in the show, regularly in this fic (which doesn’t make sense, considering how strong and protective Velvet’s team is, they wouldn’t let it slide more than once)). It’s good to remind readers about characters they haven’t seen for a while.
[Fufu]: As for the rest of the team, we’ll get to them when they show up in the next chapter~. It’s gonna be gooooooood! :D *crosses fingers that AJ will leave CFVY’s badass moment the fuck alone*
"I'm fine! I had Yatsuhashi to look out for me!" Velvet said.
"Your mission was supposed to end a week ago. What happened?" Weiss asked.
"Nothing happened… there were just so many…" Velvet explained.
[Fufu]: This...it wasn’t really an “explanation”, more a statement. And she said it quietly for that extra emphasis. To give us the idea that “Hey, Velvet and her team are older than team RWBY and thus more experienced, and yet they had trouble. So what’s considered tough enough to throw off these guys and what is RWBY getting into?” Which is then backed up further when CFVY show up later and kick all the motherfucking ass. And that was legit quite a few Grimm too.
"Ominous." AJ said to himself.
"Oh but don't worry, you first year's ([Kirby]: No apostrophe) are just shadowing a Huntsman, you'll be fine!" Velvet said. "I should go. Be safe ok?"
[Fufu]: I can hear this sentence’s silent screams as it begs for proper formatting and punctuation.
"We can do this! We never backed down before and we won't stop now!" Ruby said.
"Ya!" AJ and Yang said.
"Right!" Blake said.
"Besides! It won't just be us we'll be fighting along side ([Kirby]: One word) a genuine Huntsman!" Ruby said excitedly.
That excitement was lost when they saw who they had to work with.
[Fufu]: Oh come on, author! You can actually do a decent Gilligan’s Cut joke in writing! Well, I use the general you, since clearly, you can’t write period. Harsh? Maybe. But it’s chapter 10 of 11, and I’m done with this guy. Maybe if he actually practised and took advice to heart and tried to improve, I’d be kinder. And this is not helped by the fact that, as of writing this (17/05/15), the author has posted what is basically a temper tantrum on his profile asking people to not be mean and only say his stories are amazing. And I’m only slightly exaggerating.
"Professor-" Weiss started.
"OOBLECK!?" AJ finished.
[Kirby]: That’s DOCTOR Oobleck!
"Why hello everyone!" Oobleck said. "Who's ready to fight for their lives!?" He said with enthusiasm.
[Kirby]: And now the Author’s Note
Ya, rather you think this is a major romance or not, it is when compared to what it was supposed to be, no idea why I focused so much on it when it started but I'm not complaining. Just pretend there is a third thing along with Adventure and Friendship that says romance, K?
[Fufu]: ...I can’t really tell what you’re trying to say here.
[Kirby]: I think he’s referring to the genre filters on fanfiction.
[Fufu]: No, I figured that bit, but the rest of this sentence reads like he put it through google translate. ...Actually no, Google Translate can at least make most of its sentences make sense. This is just straight up confusing.
Yes the scene with Blake removing her bow was random and pointless but I did it anyway cause reasons!
[Kirby]: *violent spasm*
[Fufu]: *disgusted glaring*
And I feel bad for taking away Blake and Yang's moment but he wouldn't be much of a boyfriend if he didn't convince Blake to slow down!
[Fufu]: ...no. I- *deep breath* I… I’m not. We talked about it. This is bullshit. And unless Kirby has something to add, that is all that can be said. Just no.
[Kirby]: I will say that that could be a legitimate point, it would make sense for a theoretical significant other of Blake’s to talk her out of the self-destructive behaviour. But here’s the thing, because we got such a great scene in canon (that of Yang’s backstory), whatever you do to replace that scene has to be at least as emotionally charged and revealing of character. Author failed spectacularly, but the point isn’t wrong, just the execution.
This might just end in the next chapter, I'm surprised! It's been that long already? I've typed that much already!?
[Fufu]: God, I know.
[Kirby]: We started this chapter at episode 2 and ended it with episode 8. Waaaaaaaay too long.
Well, luckily I have two idea's ([Kirby]: No apostrophe) for fanfics after this. One with RWBY characters in a post-nuclear Earth and frankly the main OC will be similar to this one because I can't possibly create a character that doesn't act like me, I just wouldn't know how he/she would react to things if they don't think like I do.
[Fufu]: That really says a lot about your skill, especially when compared to other authors out there. I mean, people can create a wide variety of characters with different appearances and personalities and goals. And yet you can’t because you wouldn’t know how they think? Why not try visualising them and asking them? That’s a method you could use! One that Stephenie Meyer admitted to using, so this fits given all the references and comparisons I’ve made.
[Kirby]: Good grief, I created over thirty pokemon oc’s, nine of them with full backstories, just for a forum roleplay. It’s not that hard.
Another one is a Destiny fic where a Hunter and a Warlock go through the story of Destiny. So those will happen, gonna try the RWBY one first though, after this of course!
[Fufu]: Currently no sign of the Destiny one, folks. But he did post the apocalypse AU one. It hasn’t been updated since 13th March.
[Kirby]: Oh hey, it’s rated ‘M for gore’! *quick skim* ...You know author, just because you use the word “blood” does not mean you need to rate it ‘M’. Give me dismemberment and guts in all their dripping, swishy, bone-crunching glory, then you’ll have earned it.
Edit: I have started the fic by the time you are reading this! I posted early cause I already started on that fic and the last chapter (for now) of this fic is already done so I figured I would give you this to end your weekend! YOUR WELCOME!
[Kirby]: Meh.
This chapter has just over 12900 words! A NEW RECORD!
[Fufu]: Greeeeeat. More work for me. -3-
~*~*~
[Fufu]: *getting excited* We’re nearly done, holy shit!
[Kirby]: One more damn chapter and we’re home free! Until he goes after volume three at least.
[Fufu]: The end is in sight! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is just about in reach!
[Kirby]: And when we reach the end, there will be glorious spite!fic!
[Fufu]: We might have another guest sporking with us! Maybe. Don’t quote us on that. And don’t get your hopes up too high in case we don’t.
[Kirby]: We could always bring Weiss back, or another member of Team RWBY.
[Fufu]: Or JNPR. Or CFVY. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves here! The biggest thing is that next time is the end! (Volume 3 pending)
[Kirby]: SEE YOU THEN!
[Fufu]: SAYONARA PEOPLE!