[Sporking] The Plus One of RWBY - Chapter 11 part 5
"But as you can see, I'm not dead." The double said pointing at himself.
[Kirby]: Is AJ telling the demon this story? I’m so confused.
[Fufu]: I think this is another case of something that’s better suited to a visual format. A flashback like that would work in a tv show, but if it’s the demon narrating how the situation happened - which doesn’t make sense given that both AJ and the demon were there so to repeat it is just stupid, aside from informing the audience what happened - then it’d fit better in 1st person.
[Talon]: I just went back to check what was said before the flashback happened. I think it’s supposed to fit as part of the conversation there, but also fit just at the end of this flashback. Unfortunately, this really doesn’t work well in written format because it’s not likely the audience would remember what the demon last said on what would be some pages back, and there’s the question of “who is telling this flashback, or is it just in Boy’s mind?”.
"Yes, but I knew you weren't dead when I saw you again." AJ said pointing at the demon.
[Kirby]: As he would already know. THESE SCENES SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN EARLIER CHAPTERS!
[Talon]: Hold up. If the point of that flashback was to show us how Boy first “not killed” the demon, and here, Boy is telling us that he knew the first time the demon hadn’t died because he saw him again, then the Stuthor has made that previous flashback irrelevant.
"Hm?" The demon said not knowing what he was talking about for a second. "Ah! Yes. That time, I won't say that didn't hurt, but it hardly killed me either." He explained.
Another flashback
[Talon]: Are you fucking kidding me?! We just got out of a flashback, and it was pointless! You could of had Boy describe it in the narrative to the readers! And now you’re going back into flashback mode not only four lines after ending one?!
[Fufu]: Ah but Talon, how else can the author explain the situation to us?
[Talon]: The Stuthor can go get fucked for all I care! This fic should have ended at that breach scene!
AJ woke up after the train crash but found he was in his mind again, in that clearing surrounded by a mist.
"Why am I here again?" AJ asked the White Wolf, it approached him and the Red Wolf growled at them, threatening to attack.
[Fufu]: Okay, whut? He’s asking the White Wolf something but it’s only now walking toward him, and the Red Wolf is also here and ready to fight despite not having been mentioned until now? It’d be better to establish the setting before jumping right into the “plot”, y’know. Just a simple few sentences, saying what the setting is like and where any sort of important objects, people or creatures are first, without going too overboard into unnecessary detail. Please?
"You know I could kill you with little effort right?" AJ said to the Red Wolf.
[Kirby]: ...You know, killing parts of your mind usually ends badly.
"But can you do that to me?" The demons voice said from everywhere as it echoed.
AJ quickly looked around searching for him. 'No! No! No! No! He should be dead!'
[Kirby]: Like this herring I have. *waves Dead Herring*
The double appeared before him with his red Nipzona out and an evil grin that never leaves his face. "Remember me?"
AJ reached for his sword. "GET OUT!" He yelled at the demon.
[Talon]: And now we see what that bullshit of Boy yelling “GET OUT!” among all the ellipses before was about. If this had been done by a better author, I might have thought this was clever. Sadly, it’s not, so I think it’s stupid.
[Kirby]: I’d forgotten about that, and now I realize that I don’t care.
"Not so fast."
[Kirby]: “-KAIBA!” ...what? It was either that or an Ace Attorney joke.
The demon said and AJ suddenly had his weapon knocked away from him and half his Aura was gone in one powerful hit. The demon had built up Aura into that hit.
[Kirby]: “Food is scarce, my brother and I often go hunting for food.”-The Last Airbender
AJ tried to stand up
[Kirby]: He was knocked down?
[Talon]: That, or he was sitting down the entire time and only now realised that he can’t win this battle by sitting on the ground and waving his sword around.
but was grabbed by the throat and he tried to pry the hand off of him to no avail. The demon started walking forward holding AJ out in front of him.
[Talon]: … Why? What is the point of the demon just holding Boy in front of him? He has Boy by the throat, so just crush it and be done with him!
[Kirby]: Also, how? AJ was on the ground, and the demon never lifted him up.
The White Wolf jumped at the double and bit him in the arm.
[Fufu]: Oh hey, you’re still here? Nice of you to finally join in and try and help. Good to know that even AJ’s emotional representations are as useless as he is in a fight.
He recoiled in pain and turned towards the Wolf, AJ took his chance and kicked him in the jaw,
[Kirby]: Uh… again, how? He’s only at arms length from the guy, and a kick to the balls would have been quicker.
[Talon]: That’s because he’s not kicking the demon in the jaw, he’s actually kicking the giant White Wolf in the jaw. Just look at how it’s phrased =’D
[Kirby]: ...Oh yeah. You prick! Way to kick your ally in face!
[Talon]: I’m sure he saw white and immediately thought it was Weiss.
loosening his grip. He got out of his grip and went to claw him, since it hurt him so much last time.
The demon backhanded him hard and knocked him down,
[Kirby]: Haha, AJ’s the demon’s bitch now.
then turned to the White Wolf and punched it away from him. "Get out of here!" He yelled in anger as he hit the White Wolf. He then turned back to AJ, picked him up by the throat again and started walking forward again planning to pin him to a tree.
[Kirby]: With actual pins? Cause I’ve got some nice railroad spikes you could borrow if you needed something stronger :D
He got half way ([Kirby]: One word) to the edge of the clearing before the White Wolf bit his left arm again. He knocked it away again yelling"Get out of here!" again and growling demonically.
[Fufu]: As opposed to…? Or do we really need to hammer in the whole “HE’S A DEMUN!” thing?
[Kirby]: I’m just wondering why he doesn’t kill the wolf. I mean, AJ’s killed for less before, shouldn’t his “evil” side just kill anything in his way?
[Talon]: And I’m still wondering why the demon isn’t crushing Boy’s throat when he’s meant to be here to kill Boy.
He didn't lose his grip of AJ this time but failed to notice AJ building up Aura in his hands. He pinned AJ to a tree still holding him by the throat and prepared to crush the life out of him,
[Talon]: WHICH YOU COULD HAVE DONE BACK WHEN YOU FIRST HAD BOY BY THE THROAT! NO, HONESTLY, WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THIS DRAGGING THE BASTARD AROUND BULLSHIT WHEN YOU COULD HAVE CRUSHED HIS THROAT AND KILLED HIM INSTANTLY?!
or stab him, he had a lot of choices at this point.
[Talon]: Or…? Choices? *yells a bunch of indiscriminate swear words in a row* YOU’RE HERE TO KILL HIM AND NOW YOU WANT TO WAFFLE ABOUT ON PLANNING HIS DEATH RATHER THAN MAKING A START ON DOING IT?!
[Kirby]: I’d start with tearing his ears off personally.
He was about to just crush him when the damn wolf bit him again! He knocked it away with a blast of red Aura and turned towards it over his shoulder still holding AJ to the tree. "GET OUT OF-" The demon started but felt two hands pressed again ([Fufu]: *against) his chest and he looked back at AJ.
"MY HEAD!" AJ shouted before firing a massive laser of Aura and Energy from both his hands that enveloped the double and vaporized him.
[Fufu]: *laughs* Holy shit that sounds so affected and out of place. I first read this and thought AJ’s head was hurting, but no, this is supposed to be a lead on from the demon’s sentence.
AJ would have celebrated but was too busy trying to understand how he did that.
[Kirby]: ...You’ve been shooting Energy for a while now, is this really so different?
It looked like something from Dragonball Z or something! Frankly the move took just about everything out of him and was probably too dangerous to use in the real world.
[Kirby]: Excuses, excuses.
Because of the 'taking everything out of him' part he fell down on the White Wolf who saw he was about to fall, and fell asleep. When he woke up though he felt full of energy and was ready to fight anything, he felt oddly pure, maybe getting a demon out of your head does that? Or maybe he unlocked something, like that awesome laser move he had just done?
[Kirby]: Or maybe the author just loves pulling everyone’s asses.
He needed the energy either way as the Grimm began to flood Vale.
End flashback
"But you said get out, so I got out, still can't kill me." The demon said smugly.
[Talon]: For someone who claims to be here to kill Boy, he’s doing a hell of a lot of chit-chat with his supposed target. Considering all those opportunities we saw where the demon completely blew the chance to kill Boy, I’m not even sure the demon wants to kill Boy at this point!
"So, since I'm not dead yet, mind telling me what you meant when you said I was an angel?" AJ asked.
"I suppose. If you must know.
[Talon]: Actually he doesn’t. Neither does the audience. You don’t need to tell anyone. Take the secret to your grave. Please. *pause* He’s not going to listen to me, is he?
When you woke up on Remnant, you were touched by an angel, the angel of emotion to be exact. I think her name was Muriel. Don't ask why she gave you powers, I don't know how an angel thinks." The double said shrugging. "But normally angel's don't have evil in them like mortals do, since you are part angel, but still mortal, the evil in you developed into me! And you probably noticed that you could feel strong emotion? Now you know why! Now, if you'll excuse me…"
[Talon]: *laughs* I’m so sorry, but this is such utter bullshit that all I can do is laugh. I can’t fucking take any of this pile of crap seriously.
[Kirby]: I’ve seen Care Bears movies that made more sense.
He suddenly sprouted black angel wings and took to the sky but looked at AJ before he left. "Don't bother fighting me right now, I might just lose control and destroy the school. We wouldn't want that, now would we?" He said with a smug smile again before leaving.
[Talon]: Honestly, Boy wouldn’t care. It’d probably the perfect excuse to kill Weiss if he “accidentally” blew up the part of the building she was in.
[Talon]: You know, everything shown about the demon so far is telling me he has more of a heart than Boy. I know that last comment was meant to be the demon being smug and all “oh, try attack me but you’ll destroy the school” to make Boy not attack, but considering how Boy will be shown to be starting to rush in for a fight without even CONSIDERING that possibility, and the demon is saying this as he’s leaving, NOT when he’s about to attack Boy again? This actually does look like legit concern for the school here, which is more concern than Boy’s ever shown for anyone.
[Talon]: Let’s also not forget how any opportunity the demon had to kill Boy is never capitalised on. We’re not given any reason why - other than it’s obviously a stupid tactic of the Stuthor to not have Boy killed because he isn’t thinking over how illogical it is for a demon to not kill his SI when given the chance - so the only conclusion I can come to is that the demon DIDN’T want to. However, Boy himself never hesitates to try kill the demon. Again, why am I meant to believe the demon is evil here when the Stuthor keeps showing him to be more “good” than Boy?
AJ stared at him with his bow out ready to attack, but he just kept staring as the black wings got further and further away till he was gone. AJ sighed and yelled in frustration that he couldn't do anything.
[Kirby]: It’s not that he “couldn’t”, it’s that he just “didn’t”.
[Fufu]: Bullshit he “couldn’t” do anything. Since when has AJ not been able to do something? This is just the author trying to give himself something to work with come Volume three, alongside whatever plot the show has. In the show, it works since the girls are still inexperienced and still don’t quite know what they’re getting into.
He sunk down and just sat thinking, he didn't get to think long as Blake was soon next to him.
"Blake?" AJ asked surprised to see her. "How much did you hear?" He asked worried about the answer.
"All of it." She said simply and AJ hung his head down realizing he would have to explain everything. "How you are part angel apparently,
[Talon]: More like a Fallen Angel, if he ever was one. He’s shown he has every one of the Seven Deadly Sins in this fic. He’d so have been dropped within a nanosecond.
how that thing came out of the evil inside you,
[Talon]: Notice how this is phrased. Blake is admitting that there is evil inside Boy, and acknowledging it’s still there. It isn’t the same as that demon actually being the evil inside Boy, meaning Boy isn’t evil inherently. And it’s not the same as saying “born of the negative emotions” he’s feeling. Especially so because now Angels and Demons are brought into this mess, an angel having any sort of “evil” inside usually does not equate to a good thing! Even in the biblical sense, if you’re implying that evil is meant as “the evils of sin” that all humans have, Boy still can’t have that because HE’S A GODDAMN ANGEL.
[Kirby]: It also occurs to me that AJ just removed the “evil” part of himself, right? So you’d think his character would change to reflect- hahahahaha, I forgot how to hope.
but what I don't get is how he said you woke up in Remnant, what did he mean by that?" Blake asked, not understanding the severity of the question.
[Fufu]: And this could be a good bit of conflict. Blake suddenly realises that she doesn’t really know her boyfriend. She could feel lied to and betrayed, not to mention wary since he apparently now has an evil manifestation that’s running around Vale causing god knows what trouble. This could mean so much to Blake given that she doesn’t open up so easily to people, and the one person she’s gotten intimate with hasn’t been fully honest with her. Now, AJ is suddenly ostracized from the group since they’re now suspicious of him, Ozpin is suspicious of him and hell, maybe he’s even cast out from the school for the safety of all the other student, so AJ would have to work to regain everyone’s trusts and stop this evil part of him. Which, in hindsight, could actually be a reason for AJ’s more...psychotic behaviour.
[Fufu]: Yeah, that’s not gonna happen, cause that would be a decent story idea. Instead, Blake’s just gonna instantly go along with AJ’s explanation, which of course he’s gonna provide.
AJ sighed. "I guess there is no going around it, I have to tell you, my biggest secret, I would rather you not tell the others though."
"No. Tell me first but then we are going to the others and telling them." Blake said sternly.
[Kirby]: Well, at least Blake getting a little payback for AJ forcing her to tell everyone about her ears.
[Talon]: Normally, I’d say this would be completely unreasonable for someone to do, especially as Blake doesn’t know the full details of this secret and some parts of it may not be something needed to be shared. However, as Kirby pointed out, since Boy did it first to her, I don’t feel bad for him. Also, considering there is a demon look alike of Boy going around, Blake could be seen as reasonable if we were given the reason that she wants to warn the rest of their team of this look alike.
AJ sighed again. "I am from a place with 7 billion people, none of them are Faunus." Blake went wide eyed at both facts. "There are over 200 different countries, a few hundred different languages, there is no such thing as Grimm, where I'm from, the place I'm from is called Earth, and I don't mean like the soil, I mean an entirely different planet than Remnant." AJ finished and let it sink in with Blake.
She didn't speak for a minute. "So… You aren't from this world? At all?" Blake asked disbelievingly. AJ shook his head. "The number of people is unheard of, unthought of, but with no Grimm I suppose it would make sense. With that kind of numbers the amount of countries and languages only makes sense…"
[Talon]: Blake: “But what doesn’t make sense is my reaction to this. You’ve told me a ridiculous story about coming from another world that I have never heard of existing before. I should not be believing it this easily.”
Blake said to herself. "So… your friends… your parents…" Blake realized where this was going and hugged him. "Oh AJ… I'm so sorry!" She said and he returned the hug.
[Fufu]: He’s not. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about his parents since he never thinks about them. And he doesn’t even have any friends. Blake is showing more sympathy for AJ’s situation and his parents back in his own world than he is himself.
"It's ok. Like I said, I stayed here to be with you guys, but not just stay at Beacon, but stay on Remnant. If I hadn't come her ([Kirby]: “here”) I never would have been through so much pain, so much hatred,
[Kirby]: *whispers* One… time… name… calling....
but I also never would have had these amazing powers,
[Talon]: Of course that’s the FIRST thing he mentions. It’s about how incredibly powerful you are, isn’t it? Who cares about all the people that care about you back on Earth and are probably grieving over how you’ve gone missing for months now? They don’t even have a body to at least bury for their own peace of mind! But that doesn’t matter, because precious freaking Ay Jay here gets to have amazing super special awesome powers! And isn’t that what we all want for him?
had such a great group of friends and people I can depend on… But most of all… I would never have met you. I probably never would have fallen in love at all back in my world."
[Talon]: You’re sixteen! That’s far too early for you to be jumping to the conclusion that you wouldn’t fall in love. You’ve barely even lived! Also, what about that girlfriend you had? You never gave us any details about that, so are you telling me that you didn’t love her at all?
AJ said looking at her in the eyes. They both got lost in each other's eyes for a minute or so before recovering.
"That is a big decision you made, but I'm glad you stayed." Blake said and kissed him.
"I'm glad too." AJ said after the kiss. "So," He started with a sigh. "now we have to explain this to the others." He said and she nodded. They walked back to RWBY's dorm and explained everything.
"And we're just supposed to believe this?" Weiss asked.
[Fufu]: Well, Ozpin did. And if you wish to stay in his good books, I would go along with this fairy tale of his.
"Well… yain America!" AJ said simply. "Why would I come up with a story like this? I have no reason too!" He reasoned.
[Kirby]: Wrong “to”. Also, despite what you say, you like to be the center of attention, so there’s one reason.
The others believed him, Weiss was understandably doubtful.
"Prove it!" Weiss demanded.
[Kirby]: Thank you Weiss, I understand what you’re putting at risk to call him out on his bullshit like this, you brave soul.
"I already gave you facts about the place! What do you want from me?" AJ asked Weiss.
"What does the world look like? Draw it!" Weiss demanded and gave AJ a pen and blank paper.
[Kirby]: ...Monty based the general shape of Remnant on a ketchup stain. A drawing’s not gonna prove much.
AJ drew a rough shape of the continents of the world, gave them all names, told what he knew about the seven continents and any major countries. He went to America and named many major cities on either coast and anywhere else he could remember. He named off many states off the top of his head.
[Fufu]: Never mind that anyone well versed in Geography or map reading or with an interest in the world could do that as well.
[Kirby]: Hey look! Confirmation that author is American!
"SO, do you think I still made this up!?" AJ asked smiling, with all the random facts and names he just spat out over the last half hour or more he knew he had her.
[Kirby]: ...You know, I could describe the world of Pokemon to you in great detail, doesn’t make it real.
[Fufu]: I could do the same with Pokemon as well, and with Hyrule, Ylisse, and possibly other worlds. And yet I’ve only ever lived in Bonnie Wee Scotland. Hell, even then, I’ve stuck mainly to Glasgow. So just cause you know a thing, dun make it that that thing is real.
"Alright. I have to admit, you couldn't have just made up that many names,
[Kirby]: *raps* Electrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey, Venusaur, Rattata, Fearow, Pidgey, Seaking, Jolteon, Dragonite, Gastly, Ponyta, Vaporeon, Poliwrath, Butterfree! Catch ‘em! Catch ‘em! GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL! POKEMON!
with how many times you corrected yourself on the names, the facts, the drawing, I would be stupid to doubt this was false.
[Fufu]: Never mind that he could’ve been mixing up which name is used for which language. To again use Pokemon as an example, that’d be like me accidentally saying Isshu instead of Unova, given that they’re both the name of the region, but they’re each used in different languages. It possibly sounds like I reaching but honestly, I’m too done with this fic to care too much. The urge to just cut this for how stupid it is so we can call it a day is strong.
But do you really not know how you got here?" Weiss asked.
"I have no clue! I want to know but at the same time I'm not complaining." AJ said wrapping an arm around Blake at her waist.
[Talon]: OBJECTION! We all saw you telling Ozpin not to bother with finding a way home for you. I call bullcrap on your statement that you want to know!
"So… wait… If you have no Faunus in your world, are people still racist to anything? And why are you a Faunus then?" Yang asked.
[Kirby]: The second question makes more sense than the first, but only the first will be addressed at length.
[Fufu]: The first one doesn’t make sense and is only included so (Pro)AJ can jump on his soapbox, as we’re about to see. If anything, you’d think the others would hope there isn’t any racism in our world. We always want to think the best of another world, don’t we, unless it’s just horrid from the outset.
"I became a Faunus when I came here for some reason, and people are still racists. People discriminate against skin color instead.
[Kirby]: And language, and social class, and nationality, and *rambles on*
There are the religious disputes as well but that's a given.
[Fufu]: “Religious disputes”? Well, ain’t that a kind way to put it. Nevermind that religion has been and still is a strong factor for how people act and think. Hell, look at a lot of the terrorist acts that have happened; 9/11, the London bombings, Glasgow airport getting attacked by a suicide bomber (To list one that would be closer to myself), and the French magazine company getting attacked. Not to mention how religion has to factor into so many decisions. Part of the reason why it’s taken so long for a lot of countries to approve for same sex marriage is because of the Catholic church, (Emphasis on it being only part of the reason). And let’s not even start on the more fanatical religious types like Westboro or the Taliban… Though I think the worst part is how he brushes all of this of like “Eh, shit’s gonna happen.” Even though this shit is gonna affect us for years to come because religion is one of those things that doesn’t just disappear.
People hundreds of years ago thought dark skinned people didn't have a soul."
[Kirby]: That would mean something very different to people on Remnant author. On Remnant, souls are an actual thing you can feel and is the source of Aura. On Earth, it’s more of a religious concept that probably isn’t real, but makes people feel good about themselves.
AJ said but was interrupted before he could continue.
"What!? That's so stupid!" Yang yelled.
[Talon]: Why is that stupid? I mean, I understand why but I’m from this world and I understand what Boy means by what he’s saying. But why would Yang think that? Boy hasn’t actually described it well enough for her reaction to be justified here. All he’s said was “people discriminate against skin colour. Years ago, black people were thought to not have souls”. Kirby’s already pointed out how souls are something different in Remnant, so Yang should be thinking “well they’re like Grimm so they’re not really people anymore”. Boy hasn’t explained what a soul is in our world, so Yang would have no reason to not think a person without a soul is a Grimm.
[Talon]: And yes, I realise I left out the fact that Boy also said “there are religious disputes”, so if I were to be nice, I’d say Yang was considering that stupid. However, not only is that so damn vague but Fufu has already gone into more detail about that. All I can say is, on the basis of any of the characters in RWBY finding it stupid, this wouldn’t make sense either because we don’t know if religion even exists in Remnant! Even if it does, is there only one religion so the idea of multiple religions would sound weird to them? Or if there are multiple religions, are there any “bad” kinds of religion (say, for example, if there was a cult worshipping Grimm) that could possibly make the characters think the religious disputes aren’t a bad thing? This is something that needs to be established in the fic before it even makes sense for Yang to claim discrimination on the basis of religion is “stupid” because as far as we know, there is no concept of religion for Yang to be thinking in reference to for her opinion here!
"Exactly! But anyway, they would enslave anyone who wasn't white skinned,
[Kirby]: I’ma stop you right the fuck there, because you don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you know anything about this? Anything beyond “white people are evils and enslave blacks for lols”. Because that’s not how it fucking works. History is not that damn simple! And here I am not all surprised that you think it is because you’ve proven time and time again that you see the world in black and white! WHITE PEOPLE DID GET ENSLAVED! AND NOT ALL SLAVE OWNERS WERE WHITE PEOPLE! THERE’S REASONS WHY RACISM AS IT IS CAME TO BE, AND IT’S NOT JUST CAUSE WHITE PEOPLE ARE EVIL! AFRICA DIDN’T CHANGE THEIR LAWS TO OUTLAW HUMAN TRAFFICKING WHEN THE REST OF EUROPE DID, AND THE EUROPEANS TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT WHILE THE AFRICAN GOVERNMENT SAID “LOL FUCK YOU” TO THEIR OWN PEOPLE! AS LONG AS EUROPE WAS PAYING, THEY DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED!
[Kirby]: And even that’s a gross oversimplification. We could spend hours going over the histories of slavery. This is a subject that literally goes back thousands of years, experienced by thousands of different cultures who all interpret events their own way. But the author doesn’t give a damn, so why should I.
it went this way for thousands of years and only recently did civil countries get rid of slavery all together,
[Kirby]: You’d like to think that wouldn’t you.
racism against skin color is still a thing but it's actually frowned upon to be racist nowadays. That doesn't stop people but it still helps immensely, being treated equal is an important thing in my world now.
[Kirby]: Capitalism would like to disagree with you.
[Talon]: This just proves how sheltered the Stuthor is. Our world doesn’t have an international “hive mind” that the governments of all the world share. Unless it’s money, what is important for one country is not the same for every country. Considering you only have to look to the Middle East and Africa to see how there are many people that don’t want equality for everyone in their country (if we discount how even in our developed countries, the rich generally are treated marginally better than those with lesser income), I fail to see how being treated equal is an important thing to everyone in the world. In fact, I think the starving kids in Africa would like to tell you that they’re far more concerned about not starving to death each day or getting a clean supply of water.
[Kirby]: And the starving kids in New York would agree.
[Talon]: The starving kids from around the world should unite and kick this uppity SI and his Stuthor in the balls.
Even if you don't have white skin or even if you are a woman, you still have rights like everyone else now, that's what we strive for in our world." AJ finished.
[Fufu]: ProAJ, get off your damn soapbox. Not to mention that you talked purely about racism this entire time, so bringing up women seems completely out of left-field. AKA, it came right the fuck out of nowhere so I’m just like “Whaa?”
[Talon]: I’d also like to point out that the “you still have rights like everyone else” is bullshit. Not every country has agreed to the Universal Doctrine of Human Rights, and even then, they only use the human rights they agree with and apply it to the sort of people they want to. There’s a reason why even in developed countries you still hear of news of only recently allowing the LGBT community a human right that was already given to the hetreosexual/cisgender community. Or why asylum seekers and even immigrants can be denied certain human rights in the new country they had planned to make their home. Our time period may be better with addressing discrimination, but we’re still a long way from “equal rights for everyone everywhere”.
"Wow, I kinda want to go there now!" Blake said.
[Kirby]: Why. He just made it sound extremely unappealing.
[Fufu]: Which I suppose is another reason why he wouldn’t want to go home. “Back in my world, the people are just awful to people of colour and to women. Here, I have cool cat ears and I can totes handle the jackasses that pick on me because of that thanks to the powers that I also have here.” Also, why would Blake actually want to go there? In Remnant at least, it appears that women get treated fairly, don’t they? Therefore, aside from the obvious Faunus discrimination that she suffers from, Blake does have the better deal living in Remnant. There’s no reason for her to go to Earth, unless it was to experience the different cultures or the extensive history.
[Kirby]: The RWBY team pointed out that men and women are equal in Remnant because Aura>muscles. Basically, anything a man can do, a woman can also potentially do thanks to Aura and Semblance.
"I would love to bring you guys there for a visit if it meant we could still go back here afterward. But we can't, and I don't mind." AJ said shrugging.
[Talon]: That last sentence seriously sounds like he’s just bragging out of his arse because “oh of course my world is the best, because I’m from there and everything about me is the best!” but since he knows there isn’t a way to return, then there’s no chance that anyone could actually visit Earth and find out how much bullshit Boy was saying.
"Again, I'm sorry you can't see your friends and family anymore." Ruby said sadly.
"And again, I don't care, you guys are my friends and family now." AJ said smiling at all of them.
[Fufu]: Of course he doesn’t care about his family or friends anymore. Because why should he? It’s not like his parents gave birth to him and raised him (Poorly I must add) for 16 years, and like I’ve said before, they could be absolutely devastated that he’s suddenly left. They could be wondering over who kidnapped him, or they could be thinking that they were horrible parents and that he’s run away and they want him back to find out what they did wrong and if he could ever forgive them
Well that was a thing! Now we have to wait till volume 3! I hate waiting! (Don't we all?)
[Talon]: Actually no, because not all of us have the attention span of a squirrel. Some of us have something called “patience” and “maturity”.
Authors note in the authors note!?
[Fufu]: That is not a damn author’s note, it is a fucking set of parenthesis and they’re used to feature additional information! Which you still failed at!
What is this illuminati bullshit!?
[Talon]: Basically my thoughts while going through this shit fic.
[Kirby]: “REMEMBER! REALITY IS AN ILLUSION! THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM! BUY GOLD! BYYYYYYYYYYE!”
Anyway, hope you guys didn't hate my fanfic! Seeing as so many of you just favorited and followed me and the fic after reading, apparently some, scratch that, many of you, really like this!
[Talon]: If that were true, then why are you constantly being a whiny bitch about how you’re not getting many reviews? Prove that these followers are not there for the Bile Fascination or for a laugh.
I'm glad you enjoyed my amateur fic! Thank you everyone that supported me through this and those of you who pointed out the problems, thank you for not being assholes about it.
[Talon]: Too bad you couldn’t actually take anyone’s advice. Sure, you’ll thank them, doesn’t mean you took anything they said to heart though. Talk about being an arsehole, really.
Now I start my next fic! See you there, if you don't mind something a bit darker and having actual blood in it, I'm actually gonna give it an M rating because of blood which means less people will see it and less people will read it but oh well! (Just saw a fic with blood, sexual themes, and partial nudity yet still kept it T rated, and I'm making mine M rated over blood! Am I overreacting? Or is that guy underreacting? I think the latter.)
[Kirby]: No. It’s the former. M is for full on porn and extreme violence, like on-screen disemboweling with full descriptions of sloshing guts that fall from the gaping hole cut in the character’s gut… *writes notes*
[Talon]: Why would nudity even MATTER? We’re only reading about it, not seeing it. Stop treating fanfiction like it’s TV. There are certain things we writers can get away with more because no one is actually seeing it happening before them.
I can't say it enough, thank you everyone who supported me and my fic after all this time! Thank you anyone that read this at all! I really appreciate it! You all are awesome!
Just over 11000 words again, I'm satisfied with that.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
[Talon]: NOT HAPPENING SINCE YOU REFUSE TO END THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
"Odd." AJ said.
"What is?" Blake asked.
[Talon]: AJ: “I realised that I don’t actually have any backstory or characterisation, yet somehow this story still revolves around me… oh God, am I a Stu?! Blake, quick! I need your katana to restore canon! *takes her weapon and commits seppuku, righting canon once again*”
[Fufu]: Pfft, silly Talon. While it’s nice to dream, let’s be real here; AJ would probably revel in being a known Stu since the whole point behind Mary-Sues and Marty-Stus is that they’re perfect and loved by all and can do no wrong. He fits!
[Talon]: Why you gotta crush my dreams like that?
[Fufu]: Because this fanfic has poisoned me, and now every time I open it, I turn into the Bitter Bitch of the West™.
"Only one person even said the fic I am in is a self-insert. Never said it was, but he immediately knew it was a self-insert." AJ said.
"Did anyone else guess?" Blake asked.
[Kirby]: We all did. It was fucking obvious.
"No. NO ONE GUESSED! Yet one person still said it was a self-insert without me even saying it was, everyone else said things about not putting too much of myself into my OC. They never figured out this was a self-insert!" AJ said surprised.
[Talon]: Get the fuck over yourself. First off, you’re making this shit up. People are capable of seeing your reviews you know, and you have such a little amount that they’re easy to go through within a few minutes. I just finished looking through it and I can tell you what: only the FIRST review you ever got called Boy an OC. There were actually three different reviewers who called him a self-insert, not one. And everyone else simply called him “AJ”. That does not imply that they didn’t figure out it was a self-insert, that just tells me that they seriously didn’t care and wanted to call him the name you gave him in the fic!
"That I am a more awesome version of the author. Same nickname and I act the same as him."
[Kirby]: Hello? Yes, government that are supposedly watching what I do on my computer? This author has just admitted that he’s a psychopath and I suggest therapy. If you’ve been following the story so far, you know why.
AJ said, and then the door swung open. "Oh no…" AJ said.
The person who walked in looked just like him, hair and face, height as well,
[Kirby]: Why is this so damn important to you?!
but he wore a black T-Shirt that said "Kill 'em with your awesome" and wore camo pajama pants.
[Kirby]: He’s either a brony or a twelve-year-old.
He also had AJ's green grey eyes that he has when Neko is out rather than the green-gold that AJ currently has, the boy also had no Faunus parts.
[Fufu]: Why thank you for the clarification. Because clearly your audience is made up of 5 year olds that need to have things explained to them. Or again, you’re being Meyer and feel the need to hold our freaking hands.
[Kirby]: All he needed to say is that he looked like human!AJ. Easy, peezy, lemon squeezy.
[Talon]: Yes, but we all know that’d require the Stuthor to think about what he was writing, and thinking about what you’re writing is bad.
"WE SAID WE WEREN'T GOING TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT YOU BEING A SELF INSERT!" The other AJ said angrily.
[Fufu]: *puts head in hands* Even though people aren’t stupid and could probably guess given that the author’s freaking penname contains the name AJ much like the name of this bullshit OC?
"Well the fic is gonna end for awhile([Talon]: *a while, two words!) and I read the reviews and PM's you got and how they clearly didn't know this was a self-insert. I didn't want them having the wrong idea!" AJ said.
[Talon]: Another lie. You very clearly did not read the reviews, or at least not all of them, because I went through and pointed out how utterly up yourself you were to assume no one knew when they either did know or didn’t care.
[Talon]: Not to mention that if you’re admitting how you read the reviews to your readership, then you’re slapping most of them in the face because 70% of your reviews were of people giving you advice to better your fic! So you’re admitting that you blatantly ignored their advice.
"YOU IDIOT!" The other AJ said.
[Kirby]: BAKA!
"You can't call me an idiot I'M YOU, GENIOUS!([Talon]: *genius, is it seriously so hard for you to look the damn word up?!)" AJ yelled. Blake backed away from the two.
"YaMove and I’ll shoot you with my invisible gun but I'm the writer here!" The other AJ said. "I can get rid of you if I want!"
[Talon]: Please, shut up. Don’t give us false hope. As much as everyone here would love for you to trash your SI and this fic, we know it’s not happening because you wouldn’t have posted this crap up otherwise.
"I know myself so I know that's an empty threat!" AJ responded.
The other AJ growled and walked out.
"Wait, so that was you?" Blake asked.
"Yes." AJ said simply.
"The real you?"
"Yes."
"From the real world?"
"Yes!
[Talon]: Is this entire exchange pointless? Yes!
He's the one that shipped us!" AJ said angrily because she kept asking questions, not because he didn't want to be with her, no! He loved her! He was just losing his patience and hoping he could go back to his fanfic reading.
[Fufu]: ...Wait a sec? This is story!AJ talking here, right? Not writer!AJ doing the narration. So why is story!AJ wanting to read fanfic? Is he essentially re-reading his own story? That’d be some sort of weird circle jerking wank fest then.
[Talon]: I’m not really surprised by that, he is up himself (just like his Stuthor). However, I am surprised how this Stuthor has literally pointed out how his SI’s relationship with Blake has no chemistry and is only in there because the Stuthor wanted it in there. Why else would Boy even phrase it that way if there were a legitimate reason in the story for it? It’s just amazing how both aware and ignorant this Stuthor could be at the same time.
"Did someone say shipping!?" Ozpin asked excitedly.
[Talon]: Ozpin: “Time to get into the box, AJ! Oh, didn’t I tell you? Our experts at Beacon discovered that we could simply mail you back to your home, and it’ll only cost us 25 cents!”
AJ turned to the door. " NOT NOW OZPIN! " AJ yelled letting his Aura out for a moment and Ozpin sulked as he slowly walked down the halls.
[Kirby]: …*lies down* I’m exhausted.
[Fufu]: The struggle to do this chapter was way too real. Legit guys, I would look at it in my docs, and then be all like “noooooo”.
[Kirby]: And now, finally, the last author’s note.
I feel like the 30-40 follows and favorites are my audience but then I look at the traffic graph and see that I actually get many a view every day, my audience is much bigger than I realize. AND YET THERE ARE SO FEW REVIEWS!
[Kirby]: It’s because the fic is bad. People are showing it to their friends to get a laugh, because it’s bad. People don’t review bad fics. And you know what, I feel like being mean. The first fic I ever wrote was for the Kirby of the Stars (or Kirby; right back at ya!) fandom when I was in elementary school, it’s not great but it was it’s own story set after the anime ended. It’s also only over 6,000 words. Your fic has 90,000 more words than that and 17 reviews. I have 45 reviews on mine, most of them begging me to finish the story. So, ha ha.
[Fufu]: So what you’re saying is that, even while being a young puff writing the very fic we’re gonna do as our next project together, you still wrote better than this author? Or at least, have the sort of fans that would ask for more of what you were delivering?
[Kirby]: Well, for all its faults (and trust me when I say there will be plenty to spork), it was still an original story that was written to tie up a loose end from the anime. People wanted to see where I was going with it, even if the writing wasn’t great. I had only the barest sense of proper formating at the time, and thought myself waaaaay more clever than I was. But I was in my weeaboo phase, what do you expect.
I want reviews to know what people think but then people say bad things about it and then I get sad so it's a double edged blade but I need to deal with it. I have this problem with reviews and I freak out when I see that I have one because I think it's gonna be someone saying they hate the fic and my adrenaline gets going, no matter how stupid it is to be freaking out over that I can't help it! Don't insult me and then say you were kidding because the insult has already hit me by then and really hurts my feelings, even when I know you were joking I still feel it, it's the one big problem I have, guess nobody is perfect. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?
[Kirby]: MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE PUT THE STORY ONLINE THEN! RULE ONE ON THE INTERNET; PEOPLE ARE JERKS! IF YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THAT, THEN DON’T PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE!
[Kirby]: AND YOU DON’T NEED TO BE PERFECT! YOU JUST NEED TO NOT INSULT AND PERVERT THE WORK YOU’RE WRITING FOR! YOU NEED TO PUT EFFORT INTO WHAT YOU’RE WRITING! AND GET A DAMN BETA READER!
[Talon]: Well, look at that! Here, the Stuthor only realises how he’s not perfect, and yet his SI was willing to try kill Weiss over wanting to be perfect. I’d say it’s ironic, but it’s not, it’s just damn twisted. Considering how he made such a fucking issue about Weiss wanting to be perfect, he shouldn’t be so casually throwing the term out there when talking about himself. Talk about double standards!
[Kirby]: But at least the fic is over now.
[Fufu]: What a way to end it. And how about a round of applause for the three of us? For myself and Kirby for going through this in the first place, and then one for us three for managing to tackle this final chapter while working from three different timezones - myself in GMT/BST, Kirby in EST and Talon in +10 GMT. Good god, the late nights… x_x
[Talon]: And how about another applause for how this dreck is finally over? Now to go back to a happy life of gaming and not sitting through the wank fantasy of some 13 year old boy.
[Fufu]: Hate to burst your bubble, but there’s still Volume 3, Talon. Whether or not the author will still continue this come Volume 3 does remain to be seen, but it’s still a looming threat.
[Talon]: And fortunately for me, I will not have to spork it ^^
[Kirby]: Lucky you. I hope the author at least waits until the whole volume is out before he drags his ass all over it.
[Talon]: Actually, I hope he jumps straight into it, then Boy won’t have read ahead syndrome. Plus, it’d be hilarious to see how canon screws up with his fic.
[Fufu]: Yeah, I suppose that would be the only upside. Ah well, the important thing is that we’ve finally finished this. Now we can take a well earned break!
[Kirby]: Thank goodness.
[Fufu]: Now there’s only one thing left to do~.
[Kirby]: *grabs Talon* Muhahahaha~
[Talon]: What are you doing?! No! Let me go! I want to be free from this sporking!
[Fufu]: You’re coming with us to watch RWBY!
[Talon]: … Oh. Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad =D Okay, lady and puff. Someone is gonna bring the food, right?
[Kirby]: It’s party time! Hells ya we got food!
[Fufu]: And with that, we bid adieu folks! Thanks for sticking with us!
[Kirby]: Be sure to keep an eye out for Fufu and I’s next spork, where we go over my old Kirby fic! Let it never be said that I can’t take what I dish out!
[Penny]: Bye bye!
[Kirby]: (She was still here?!)
[Kirby]: Is AJ telling the demon this story? I’m so confused.
[Fufu]: I think this is another case of something that’s better suited to a visual format. A flashback like that would work in a tv show, but if it’s the demon narrating how the situation happened - which doesn’t make sense given that both AJ and the demon were there so to repeat it is just stupid, aside from informing the audience what happened - then it’d fit better in 1st person.
[Talon]: I just went back to check what was said before the flashback happened. I think it’s supposed to fit as part of the conversation there, but also fit just at the end of this flashback. Unfortunately, this really doesn’t work well in written format because it’s not likely the audience would remember what the demon last said on what would be some pages back, and there’s the question of “who is telling this flashback, or is it just in Boy’s mind?”.
"Yes, but I knew you weren't dead when I saw you again." AJ said pointing at the demon.
[Kirby]: As he would already know. THESE SCENES SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN EARLIER CHAPTERS!
[Talon]: Hold up. If the point of that flashback was to show us how Boy first “not killed” the demon, and here, Boy is telling us that he knew the first time the demon hadn’t died because he saw him again, then the Stuthor has made that previous flashback irrelevant.
"Hm?" The demon said not knowing what he was talking about for a second. "Ah! Yes. That time, I won't say that didn't hurt, but it hardly killed me either." He explained.
Another flashback
[Talon]: Are you fucking kidding me?! We just got out of a flashback, and it was pointless! You could of had Boy describe it in the narrative to the readers! And now you’re going back into flashback mode not only four lines after ending one?!
[Fufu]: Ah but Talon, how else can the author explain the situation to us?
[Talon]: The Stuthor can go get fucked for all I care! This fic should have ended at that breach scene!
AJ woke up after the train crash but found he was in his mind again, in that clearing surrounded by a mist.
"Why am I here again?" AJ asked the White Wolf, it approached him and the Red Wolf growled at them, threatening to attack.
[Fufu]: Okay, whut? He’s asking the White Wolf something but it’s only now walking toward him, and the Red Wolf is also here and ready to fight despite not having been mentioned until now? It’d be better to establish the setting before jumping right into the “plot”, y’know. Just a simple few sentences, saying what the setting is like and where any sort of important objects, people or creatures are first, without going too overboard into unnecessary detail. Please?
"You know I could kill you with little effort right?" AJ said to the Red Wolf.
[Kirby]: ...You know, killing parts of your mind usually ends badly.
"But can you do that to me?" The demons voice said from everywhere as it echoed.
AJ quickly looked around searching for him. 'No! No! No! No! He should be dead!'
[Kirby]: Like this herring I have. *waves Dead Herring*
The double appeared before him with his red Nipzona out and an evil grin that never leaves his face. "Remember me?"
AJ reached for his sword. "GET OUT!" He yelled at the demon.
[Talon]: And now we see what that bullshit of Boy yelling “GET OUT!” among all the ellipses before was about. If this had been done by a better author, I might have thought this was clever. Sadly, it’s not, so I think it’s stupid.
[Kirby]: I’d forgotten about that, and now I realize that I don’t care.
"Not so fast."
[Kirby]: “-KAIBA!” ...what? It was either that or an Ace Attorney joke.
The demon said and AJ suddenly had his weapon knocked away from him and half his Aura was gone in one powerful hit. The demon had built up Aura into that hit.
[Kirby]: “Food is scarce, my brother and I often go hunting for food.”-The Last Airbender
AJ tried to stand up
[Kirby]: He was knocked down?
[Talon]: That, or he was sitting down the entire time and only now realised that he can’t win this battle by sitting on the ground and waving his sword around.
but was grabbed by the throat and he tried to pry the hand off of him to no avail. The demon started walking forward holding AJ out in front of him.
[Talon]: … Why? What is the point of the demon just holding Boy in front of him? He has Boy by the throat, so just crush it and be done with him!
[Kirby]: Also, how? AJ was on the ground, and the demon never lifted him up.
The White Wolf jumped at the double and bit him in the arm.
[Fufu]: Oh hey, you’re still here? Nice of you to finally join in and try and help. Good to know that even AJ’s emotional representations are as useless as he is in a fight.
He recoiled in pain and turned towards the Wolf, AJ took his chance and kicked him in the jaw,
[Kirby]: Uh… again, how? He’s only at arms length from the guy, and a kick to the balls would have been quicker.
[Talon]: That’s because he’s not kicking the demon in the jaw, he’s actually kicking the giant White Wolf in the jaw. Just look at how it’s phrased =’D
[Kirby]: ...Oh yeah. You prick! Way to kick your ally in face!
[Talon]: I’m sure he saw white and immediately thought it was Weiss.
loosening his grip. He got out of his grip and went to claw him, since it hurt him so much last time.
The demon backhanded him hard and knocked him down,
[Kirby]: Haha, AJ’s the demon’s bitch now.
then turned to the White Wolf and punched it away from him. "Get out of here!" He yelled in anger as he hit the White Wolf. He then turned back to AJ, picked him up by the throat again and started walking forward again planning to pin him to a tree.
[Kirby]: With actual pins? Cause I’ve got some nice railroad spikes you could borrow if you needed something stronger :D
He got half way ([Kirby]: One word) to the edge of the clearing before the White Wolf bit his left arm again. He knocked it away again yelling"Get out of here!" again and growling demonically.
[Fufu]: As opposed to…? Or do we really need to hammer in the whole “HE’S A DEMUN!” thing?
[Kirby]: I’m just wondering why he doesn’t kill the wolf. I mean, AJ’s killed for less before, shouldn’t his “evil” side just kill anything in his way?
[Talon]: And I’m still wondering why the demon isn’t crushing Boy’s throat when he’s meant to be here to kill Boy.
He didn't lose his grip of AJ this time but failed to notice AJ building up Aura in his hands. He pinned AJ to a tree still holding him by the throat and prepared to crush the life out of him,
[Talon]: WHICH YOU COULD HAVE DONE BACK WHEN YOU FIRST HAD BOY BY THE THROAT! NO, HONESTLY, WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THIS DRAGGING THE BASTARD AROUND BULLSHIT WHEN YOU COULD HAVE CRUSHED HIS THROAT AND KILLED HIM INSTANTLY?!
or stab him, he had a lot of choices at this point.
[Talon]: Or…? Choices? *yells a bunch of indiscriminate swear words in a row* YOU’RE HERE TO KILL HIM AND NOW YOU WANT TO WAFFLE ABOUT ON PLANNING HIS DEATH RATHER THAN MAKING A START ON DOING IT?!
[Kirby]: I’d start with tearing his ears off personally.
He was about to just crush him when the damn wolf bit him again! He knocked it away with a blast of red Aura and turned towards it over his shoulder still holding AJ to the tree. "GET OUT OF-" The demon started but felt two hands pressed again ([Fufu]: *against) his chest and he looked back at AJ.
"MY HEAD!" AJ shouted before firing a massive laser of Aura and Energy from both his hands that enveloped the double and vaporized him.
[Fufu]: *laughs* Holy shit that sounds so affected and out of place. I first read this and thought AJ’s head was hurting, but no, this is supposed to be a lead on from the demon’s sentence.
AJ would have celebrated but was too busy trying to understand how he did that.
[Kirby]: ...You’ve been shooting Energy for a while now, is this really so different?
It looked like something from Dragonball Z or something! Frankly the move took just about everything out of him and was probably too dangerous to use in the real world.
[Kirby]: Excuses, excuses.
Because of the 'taking everything out of him' part he fell down on the White Wolf who saw he was about to fall, and fell asleep. When he woke up though he felt full of energy and was ready to fight anything, he felt oddly pure, maybe getting a demon out of your head does that? Or maybe he unlocked something, like that awesome laser move he had just done?
[Kirby]: Or maybe the author just loves pulling everyone’s asses.
He needed the energy either way as the Grimm began to flood Vale.
End flashback
"But you said get out, so I got out, still can't kill me." The demon said smugly.
[Talon]: For someone who claims to be here to kill Boy, he’s doing a hell of a lot of chit-chat with his supposed target. Considering all those opportunities we saw where the demon completely blew the chance to kill Boy, I’m not even sure the demon wants to kill Boy at this point!
"So, since I'm not dead yet, mind telling me what you meant when you said I was an angel?" AJ asked.
"I suppose. If you must know.
[Talon]: Actually he doesn’t. Neither does the audience. You don’t need to tell anyone. Take the secret to your grave. Please. *pause* He’s not going to listen to me, is he?
When you woke up on Remnant, you were touched by an angel, the angel of emotion to be exact. I think her name was Muriel. Don't ask why she gave you powers, I don't know how an angel thinks." The double said shrugging. "But normally angel's don't have evil in them like mortals do, since you are part angel, but still mortal, the evil in you developed into me! And you probably noticed that you could feel strong emotion? Now you know why! Now, if you'll excuse me…"
[Talon]: *laughs* I’m so sorry, but this is such utter bullshit that all I can do is laugh. I can’t fucking take any of this pile of crap seriously.
[Kirby]: I’ve seen Care Bears movies that made more sense.
He suddenly sprouted black angel wings and took to the sky but looked at AJ before he left. "Don't bother fighting me right now, I might just lose control and destroy the school. We wouldn't want that, now would we?" He said with a smug smile again before leaving.
[Talon]: Honestly, Boy wouldn’t care. It’d probably the perfect excuse to kill Weiss if he “accidentally” blew up the part of the building she was in.
[Talon]: You know, everything shown about the demon so far is telling me he has more of a heart than Boy. I know that last comment was meant to be the demon being smug and all “oh, try attack me but you’ll destroy the school” to make Boy not attack, but considering how Boy will be shown to be starting to rush in for a fight without even CONSIDERING that possibility, and the demon is saying this as he’s leaving, NOT when he’s about to attack Boy again? This actually does look like legit concern for the school here, which is more concern than Boy’s ever shown for anyone.
[Talon]: Let’s also not forget how any opportunity the demon had to kill Boy is never capitalised on. We’re not given any reason why - other than it’s obviously a stupid tactic of the Stuthor to not have Boy killed because he isn’t thinking over how illogical it is for a demon to not kill his SI when given the chance - so the only conclusion I can come to is that the demon DIDN’T want to. However, Boy himself never hesitates to try kill the demon. Again, why am I meant to believe the demon is evil here when the Stuthor keeps showing him to be more “good” than Boy?
AJ stared at him with his bow out ready to attack, but he just kept staring as the black wings got further and further away till he was gone. AJ sighed and yelled in frustration that he couldn't do anything.
[Kirby]: It’s not that he “couldn’t”, it’s that he just “didn’t”.
[Fufu]: Bullshit he “couldn’t” do anything. Since when has AJ not been able to do something? This is just the author trying to give himself something to work with come Volume three, alongside whatever plot the show has. In the show, it works since the girls are still inexperienced and still don’t quite know what they’re getting into.
He sunk down and just sat thinking, he didn't get to think long as Blake was soon next to him.
"Blake?" AJ asked surprised to see her. "How much did you hear?" He asked worried about the answer.
"All of it." She said simply and AJ hung his head down realizing he would have to explain everything. "How you are part angel apparently,
[Talon]: More like a Fallen Angel, if he ever was one. He’s shown he has every one of the Seven Deadly Sins in this fic. He’d so have been dropped within a nanosecond.
how that thing came out of the evil inside you,
[Talon]: Notice how this is phrased. Blake is admitting that there is evil inside Boy, and acknowledging it’s still there. It isn’t the same as that demon actually being the evil inside Boy, meaning Boy isn’t evil inherently. And it’s not the same as saying “born of the negative emotions” he’s feeling. Especially so because now Angels and Demons are brought into this mess, an angel having any sort of “evil” inside usually does not equate to a good thing! Even in the biblical sense, if you’re implying that evil is meant as “the evils of sin” that all humans have, Boy still can’t have that because HE’S A GODDAMN ANGEL.
[Kirby]: It also occurs to me that AJ just removed the “evil” part of himself, right? So you’d think his character would change to reflect- hahahahaha, I forgot how to hope.
but what I don't get is how he said you woke up in Remnant, what did he mean by that?" Blake asked, not understanding the severity of the question.
[Fufu]: And this could be a good bit of conflict. Blake suddenly realises that she doesn’t really know her boyfriend. She could feel lied to and betrayed, not to mention wary since he apparently now has an evil manifestation that’s running around Vale causing god knows what trouble. This could mean so much to Blake given that she doesn’t open up so easily to people, and the one person she’s gotten intimate with hasn’t been fully honest with her. Now, AJ is suddenly ostracized from the group since they’re now suspicious of him, Ozpin is suspicious of him and hell, maybe he’s even cast out from the school for the safety of all the other student, so AJ would have to work to regain everyone’s trusts and stop this evil part of him. Which, in hindsight, could actually be a reason for AJ’s more...psychotic behaviour.
[Fufu]: Yeah, that’s not gonna happen, cause that would be a decent story idea. Instead, Blake’s just gonna instantly go along with AJ’s explanation, which of course he’s gonna provide.
AJ sighed. "I guess there is no going around it, I have to tell you, my biggest secret, I would rather you not tell the others though."
"No. Tell me first but then we are going to the others and telling them." Blake said sternly.
[Kirby]: Well, at least Blake getting a little payback for AJ forcing her to tell everyone about her ears.
[Talon]: Normally, I’d say this would be completely unreasonable for someone to do, especially as Blake doesn’t know the full details of this secret and some parts of it may not be something needed to be shared. However, as Kirby pointed out, since Boy did it first to her, I don’t feel bad for him. Also, considering there is a demon look alike of Boy going around, Blake could be seen as reasonable if we were given the reason that she wants to warn the rest of their team of this look alike.
AJ sighed again. "I am from a place with 7 billion people, none of them are Faunus." Blake went wide eyed at both facts. "There are over 200 different countries, a few hundred different languages, there is no such thing as Grimm, where I'm from, the place I'm from is called Earth, and I don't mean like the soil, I mean an entirely different planet than Remnant." AJ finished and let it sink in with Blake.
She didn't speak for a minute. "So… You aren't from this world? At all?" Blake asked disbelievingly. AJ shook his head. "The number of people is unheard of, unthought of, but with no Grimm I suppose it would make sense. With that kind of numbers the amount of countries and languages only makes sense…"
[Talon]: Blake: “But what doesn’t make sense is my reaction to this. You’ve told me a ridiculous story about coming from another world that I have never heard of existing before. I should not be believing it this easily.”
Blake said to herself. "So… your friends… your parents…" Blake realized where this was going and hugged him. "Oh AJ… I'm so sorry!" She said and he returned the hug.
[Fufu]: He’s not. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about his parents since he never thinks about them. And he doesn’t even have any friends. Blake is showing more sympathy for AJ’s situation and his parents back in his own world than he is himself.
"It's ok. Like I said, I stayed here to be with you guys, but not just stay at Beacon, but stay on Remnant. If I hadn't come her ([Kirby]: “here”) I never would have been through so much pain, so much hatred,
[Kirby]: *whispers* One… time… name… calling....
but I also never would have had these amazing powers,
[Talon]: Of course that’s the FIRST thing he mentions. It’s about how incredibly powerful you are, isn’t it? Who cares about all the people that care about you back on Earth and are probably grieving over how you’ve gone missing for months now? They don’t even have a body to at least bury for their own peace of mind! But that doesn’t matter, because precious freaking Ay Jay here gets to have amazing super special awesome powers! And isn’t that what we all want for him?
had such a great group of friends and people I can depend on… But most of all… I would never have met you. I probably never would have fallen in love at all back in my world."
[Talon]: You’re sixteen! That’s far too early for you to be jumping to the conclusion that you wouldn’t fall in love. You’ve barely even lived! Also, what about that girlfriend you had? You never gave us any details about that, so are you telling me that you didn’t love her at all?
AJ said looking at her in the eyes. They both got lost in each other's eyes for a minute or so before recovering.
"That is a big decision you made, but I'm glad you stayed." Blake said and kissed him.
"I'm glad too." AJ said after the kiss. "So," He started with a sigh. "now we have to explain this to the others." He said and she nodded. They walked back to RWBY's dorm and explained everything.
"And we're just supposed to believe this?" Weiss asked.
[Fufu]: Well, Ozpin did. And if you wish to stay in his good books, I would go along with this fairy tale of his.
"Well… yain America!" AJ said simply. "Why would I come up with a story like this? I have no reason too!" He reasoned.
[Kirby]: Wrong “to”. Also, despite what you say, you like to be the center of attention, so there’s one reason.
The others believed him, Weiss was understandably doubtful.
"Prove it!" Weiss demanded.
[Kirby]: Thank you Weiss, I understand what you’re putting at risk to call him out on his bullshit like this, you brave soul.
"I already gave you facts about the place! What do you want from me?" AJ asked Weiss.
"What does the world look like? Draw it!" Weiss demanded and gave AJ a pen and blank paper.
[Kirby]: ...Monty based the general shape of Remnant on a ketchup stain. A drawing’s not gonna prove much.
AJ drew a rough shape of the continents of the world, gave them all names, told what he knew about the seven continents and any major countries. He went to America and named many major cities on either coast and anywhere else he could remember. He named off many states off the top of his head.
[Fufu]: Never mind that anyone well versed in Geography or map reading or with an interest in the world could do that as well.
[Kirby]: Hey look! Confirmation that author is American!
"SO, do you think I still made this up!?" AJ asked smiling, with all the random facts and names he just spat out over the last half hour or more he knew he had her.
[Kirby]: ...You know, I could describe the world of Pokemon to you in great detail, doesn’t make it real.
[Fufu]: I could do the same with Pokemon as well, and with Hyrule, Ylisse, and possibly other worlds. And yet I’ve only ever lived in Bonnie Wee Scotland. Hell, even then, I’ve stuck mainly to Glasgow. So just cause you know a thing, dun make it that that thing is real.
"Alright. I have to admit, you couldn't have just made up that many names,
[Kirby]: *raps* Electrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey, Venusaur, Rattata, Fearow, Pidgey, Seaking, Jolteon, Dragonite, Gastly, Ponyta, Vaporeon, Poliwrath, Butterfree! Catch ‘em! Catch ‘em! GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL! POKEMON!
with how many times you corrected yourself on the names, the facts, the drawing, I would be stupid to doubt this was false.
[Fufu]: Never mind that he could’ve been mixing up which name is used for which language. To again use Pokemon as an example, that’d be like me accidentally saying Isshu instead of Unova, given that they’re both the name of the region, but they’re each used in different languages. It possibly sounds like I reaching but honestly, I’m too done with this fic to care too much. The urge to just cut this for how stupid it is so we can call it a day is strong.
But do you really not know how you got here?" Weiss asked.
"I have no clue! I want to know but at the same time I'm not complaining." AJ said wrapping an arm around Blake at her waist.
[Talon]: OBJECTION! We all saw you telling Ozpin not to bother with finding a way home for you. I call bullcrap on your statement that you want to know!
"So… wait… If you have no Faunus in your world, are people still racist to anything? And why are you a Faunus then?" Yang asked.
[Kirby]: The second question makes more sense than the first, but only the first will be addressed at length.
[Fufu]: The first one doesn’t make sense and is only included so (Pro)AJ can jump on his soapbox, as we’re about to see. If anything, you’d think the others would hope there isn’t any racism in our world. We always want to think the best of another world, don’t we, unless it’s just horrid from the outset.
"I became a Faunus when I came here for some reason, and people are still racists. People discriminate against skin color instead.
[Kirby]: And language, and social class, and nationality, and *rambles on*
There are the religious disputes as well but that's a given.
[Fufu]: “Religious disputes”? Well, ain’t that a kind way to put it. Nevermind that religion has been and still is a strong factor for how people act and think. Hell, look at a lot of the terrorist acts that have happened; 9/11, the London bombings, Glasgow airport getting attacked by a suicide bomber (To list one that would be closer to myself), and the French magazine company getting attacked. Not to mention how religion has to factor into so many decisions. Part of the reason why it’s taken so long for a lot of countries to approve for same sex marriage is because of the Catholic church, (Emphasis on it being only part of the reason). And let’s not even start on the more fanatical religious types like Westboro or the Taliban… Though I think the worst part is how he brushes all of this of like “Eh, shit’s gonna happen.” Even though this shit is gonna affect us for years to come because religion is one of those things that doesn’t just disappear.
People hundreds of years ago thought dark skinned people didn't have a soul."
[Kirby]: That would mean something very different to people on Remnant author. On Remnant, souls are an actual thing you can feel and is the source of Aura. On Earth, it’s more of a religious concept that probably isn’t real, but makes people feel good about themselves.
AJ said but was interrupted before he could continue.
"What!? That's so stupid!" Yang yelled.
[Talon]: Why is that stupid? I mean, I understand why but I’m from this world and I understand what Boy means by what he’s saying. But why would Yang think that? Boy hasn’t actually described it well enough for her reaction to be justified here. All he’s said was “people discriminate against skin colour. Years ago, black people were thought to not have souls”. Kirby’s already pointed out how souls are something different in Remnant, so Yang should be thinking “well they’re like Grimm so they’re not really people anymore”. Boy hasn’t explained what a soul is in our world, so Yang would have no reason to not think a person without a soul is a Grimm.
[Talon]: And yes, I realise I left out the fact that Boy also said “there are religious disputes”, so if I were to be nice, I’d say Yang was considering that stupid. However, not only is that so damn vague but Fufu has already gone into more detail about that. All I can say is, on the basis of any of the characters in RWBY finding it stupid, this wouldn’t make sense either because we don’t know if religion even exists in Remnant! Even if it does, is there only one religion so the idea of multiple religions would sound weird to them? Or if there are multiple religions, are there any “bad” kinds of religion (say, for example, if there was a cult worshipping Grimm) that could possibly make the characters think the religious disputes aren’t a bad thing? This is something that needs to be established in the fic before it even makes sense for Yang to claim discrimination on the basis of religion is “stupid” because as far as we know, there is no concept of religion for Yang to be thinking in reference to for her opinion here!
"Exactly! But anyway, they would enslave anyone who wasn't white skinned,
[Kirby]: I’ma stop you right the fuck there, because you don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you know anything about this? Anything beyond “white people are evils and enslave blacks for lols”. Because that’s not how it fucking works. History is not that damn simple! And here I am not all surprised that you think it is because you’ve proven time and time again that you see the world in black and white! WHITE PEOPLE DID GET ENSLAVED! AND NOT ALL SLAVE OWNERS WERE WHITE PEOPLE! THERE’S REASONS WHY RACISM AS IT IS CAME TO BE, AND IT’S NOT JUST CAUSE WHITE PEOPLE ARE EVIL! AFRICA DIDN’T CHANGE THEIR LAWS TO OUTLAW HUMAN TRAFFICKING WHEN THE REST OF EUROPE DID, AND THE EUROPEANS TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THAT WHILE THE AFRICAN GOVERNMENT SAID “LOL FUCK YOU” TO THEIR OWN PEOPLE! AS LONG AS EUROPE WAS PAYING, THEY DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED!
[Kirby]: And even that’s a gross oversimplification. We could spend hours going over the histories of slavery. This is a subject that literally goes back thousands of years, experienced by thousands of different cultures who all interpret events their own way. But the author doesn’t give a damn, so why should I.
it went this way for thousands of years and only recently did civil countries get rid of slavery all together,
[Kirby]: You’d like to think that wouldn’t you.
racism against skin color is still a thing but it's actually frowned upon to be racist nowadays. That doesn't stop people but it still helps immensely, being treated equal is an important thing in my world now.
[Kirby]: Capitalism would like to disagree with you.
[Talon]: This just proves how sheltered the Stuthor is. Our world doesn’t have an international “hive mind” that the governments of all the world share. Unless it’s money, what is important for one country is not the same for every country. Considering you only have to look to the Middle East and Africa to see how there are many people that don’t want equality for everyone in their country (if we discount how even in our developed countries, the rich generally are treated marginally better than those with lesser income), I fail to see how being treated equal is an important thing to everyone in the world. In fact, I think the starving kids in Africa would like to tell you that they’re far more concerned about not starving to death each day or getting a clean supply of water.
[Kirby]: And the starving kids in New York would agree.
[Talon]: The starving kids from around the world should unite and kick this uppity SI and his Stuthor in the balls.
Even if you don't have white skin or even if you are a woman, you still have rights like everyone else now, that's what we strive for in our world." AJ finished.
[Fufu]: ProAJ, get off your damn soapbox. Not to mention that you talked purely about racism this entire time, so bringing up women seems completely out of left-field. AKA, it came right the fuck out of nowhere so I’m just like “Whaa?”
[Talon]: I’d also like to point out that the “you still have rights like everyone else” is bullshit. Not every country has agreed to the Universal Doctrine of Human Rights, and even then, they only use the human rights they agree with and apply it to the sort of people they want to. There’s a reason why even in developed countries you still hear of news of only recently allowing the LGBT community a human right that was already given to the hetreosexual/cisgender community. Or why asylum seekers and even immigrants can be denied certain human rights in the new country they had planned to make their home. Our time period may be better with addressing discrimination, but we’re still a long way from “equal rights for everyone everywhere”.
"Wow, I kinda want to go there now!" Blake said.
[Kirby]: Why. He just made it sound extremely unappealing.
[Fufu]: Which I suppose is another reason why he wouldn’t want to go home. “Back in my world, the people are just awful to people of colour and to women. Here, I have cool cat ears and I can totes handle the jackasses that pick on me because of that thanks to the powers that I also have here.” Also, why would Blake actually want to go there? In Remnant at least, it appears that women get treated fairly, don’t they? Therefore, aside from the obvious Faunus discrimination that she suffers from, Blake does have the better deal living in Remnant. There’s no reason for her to go to Earth, unless it was to experience the different cultures or the extensive history.
[Kirby]: The RWBY team pointed out that men and women are equal in Remnant because Aura>muscles. Basically, anything a man can do, a woman can also potentially do thanks to Aura and Semblance.
"I would love to bring you guys there for a visit if it meant we could still go back here afterward. But we can't, and I don't mind." AJ said shrugging.
[Talon]: That last sentence seriously sounds like he’s just bragging out of his arse because “oh of course my world is the best, because I’m from there and everything about me is the best!” but since he knows there isn’t a way to return, then there’s no chance that anyone could actually visit Earth and find out how much bullshit Boy was saying.
"Again, I'm sorry you can't see your friends and family anymore." Ruby said sadly.
"And again, I don't care, you guys are my friends and family now." AJ said smiling at all of them.
[Fufu]: Of course he doesn’t care about his family or friends anymore. Because why should he? It’s not like his parents gave birth to him and raised him (Poorly I must add) for 16 years, and like I’ve said before, they could be absolutely devastated that he’s suddenly left. They could be wondering over who kidnapped him, or they could be thinking that they were horrible parents and that he’s run away and they want him back to find out what they did wrong and if he could ever forgive them
Well that was a thing! Now we have to wait till volume 3! I hate waiting! (Don't we all?)
[Talon]: Actually no, because not all of us have the attention span of a squirrel. Some of us have something called “patience” and “maturity”.
Authors note in the authors note!?
[Fufu]: That is not a damn author’s note, it is a fucking set of parenthesis and they’re used to feature additional information! Which you still failed at!
What is this illuminati bullshit!?
[Talon]: Basically my thoughts while going through this shit fic.
[Kirby]: “REMEMBER! REALITY IS AN ILLUSION! THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM! BUY GOLD! BYYYYYYYYYYE!”
Anyway, hope you guys didn't hate my fanfic! Seeing as so many of you just favorited and followed me and the fic after reading, apparently some, scratch that, many of you, really like this!
[Talon]: If that were true, then why are you constantly being a whiny bitch about how you’re not getting many reviews? Prove that these followers are not there for the Bile Fascination or for a laugh.
I'm glad you enjoyed my amateur fic! Thank you everyone that supported me through this and those of you who pointed out the problems, thank you for not being assholes about it.
[Talon]: Too bad you couldn’t actually take anyone’s advice. Sure, you’ll thank them, doesn’t mean you took anything they said to heart though. Talk about being an arsehole, really.
Now I start my next fic! See you there, if you don't mind something a bit darker and having actual blood in it, I'm actually gonna give it an M rating because of blood which means less people will see it and less people will read it but oh well! (Just saw a fic with blood, sexual themes, and partial nudity yet still kept it T rated, and I'm making mine M rated over blood! Am I overreacting? Or is that guy underreacting? I think the latter.)
[Kirby]: No. It’s the former. M is for full on porn and extreme violence, like on-screen disemboweling with full descriptions of sloshing guts that fall from the gaping hole cut in the character’s gut… *writes notes*
[Talon]: Why would nudity even MATTER? We’re only reading about it, not seeing it. Stop treating fanfiction like it’s TV. There are certain things we writers can get away with more because no one is actually seeing it happening before them.
I can't say it enough, thank you everyone who supported me and my fic after all this time! Thank you anyone that read this at all! I really appreciate it! You all are awesome!
Just over 11000 words again, I'm satisfied with that.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK!
[Talon]: NOT HAPPENING SINCE YOU REFUSE TO END THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
"Odd." AJ said.
"What is?" Blake asked.
[Talon]: AJ: “I realised that I don’t actually have any backstory or characterisation, yet somehow this story still revolves around me… oh God, am I a Stu?! Blake, quick! I need your katana to restore canon! *takes her weapon and commits seppuku, righting canon once again*”
[Fufu]: Pfft, silly Talon. While it’s nice to dream, let’s be real here; AJ would probably revel in being a known Stu since the whole point behind Mary-Sues and Marty-Stus is that they’re perfect and loved by all and can do no wrong. He fits!
[Talon]: Why you gotta crush my dreams like that?
[Fufu]: Because this fanfic has poisoned me, and now every time I open it, I turn into the Bitter Bitch of the West™.
"Only one person even said the fic I am in is a self-insert. Never said it was, but he immediately knew it was a self-insert." AJ said.
"Did anyone else guess?" Blake asked.
[Kirby]: We all did. It was fucking obvious.
"No. NO ONE GUESSED! Yet one person still said it was a self-insert without me even saying it was, everyone else said things about not putting too much of myself into my OC. They never figured out this was a self-insert!" AJ said surprised.
[Talon]: Get the fuck over yourself. First off, you’re making this shit up. People are capable of seeing your reviews you know, and you have such a little amount that they’re easy to go through within a few minutes. I just finished looking through it and I can tell you what: only the FIRST review you ever got called Boy an OC. There were actually three different reviewers who called him a self-insert, not one. And everyone else simply called him “AJ”. That does not imply that they didn’t figure out it was a self-insert, that just tells me that they seriously didn’t care and wanted to call him the name you gave him in the fic!
"That I am a more awesome version of the author. Same nickname and I act the same as him."
[Kirby]: Hello? Yes, government that are supposedly watching what I do on my computer? This author has just admitted that he’s a psychopath and I suggest therapy. If you’ve been following the story so far, you know why.
AJ said, and then the door swung open. "Oh no…" AJ said.
The person who walked in looked just like him, hair and face, height as well,
[Kirby]: Why is this so damn important to you?!
but he wore a black T-Shirt that said "Kill 'em with your awesome" and wore camo pajama pants.
[Kirby]: He’s either a brony or a twelve-year-old.
He also had AJ's green grey eyes that he has when Neko is out rather than the green-gold that AJ currently has, the boy also had no Faunus parts.
[Fufu]: Why thank you for the clarification. Because clearly your audience is made up of 5 year olds that need to have things explained to them. Or again, you’re being Meyer and feel the need to hold our freaking hands.
[Kirby]: All he needed to say is that he looked like human!AJ. Easy, peezy, lemon squeezy.
[Talon]: Yes, but we all know that’d require the Stuthor to think about what he was writing, and thinking about what you’re writing is bad.
"WE SAID WE WEREN'T GOING TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT YOU BEING A SELF INSERT!" The other AJ said angrily.
[Fufu]: *puts head in hands* Even though people aren’t stupid and could probably guess given that the author’s freaking penname contains the name AJ much like the name of this bullshit OC?
"Well the fic is gonna end for awhile([Talon]: *a while, two words!) and I read the reviews and PM's you got and how they clearly didn't know this was a self-insert. I didn't want them having the wrong idea!" AJ said.
[Talon]: Another lie. You very clearly did not read the reviews, or at least not all of them, because I went through and pointed out how utterly up yourself you were to assume no one knew when they either did know or didn’t care.
[Talon]: Not to mention that if you’re admitting how you read the reviews to your readership, then you’re slapping most of them in the face because 70% of your reviews were of people giving you advice to better your fic! So you’re admitting that you blatantly ignored their advice.
"YOU IDIOT!" The other AJ said.
[Kirby]: BAKA!
"You can't call me an idiot I'M YOU, GENIOUS!([Talon]: *genius, is it seriously so hard for you to look the damn word up?!)" AJ yelled. Blake backed away from the two.
"YaMove and I’ll shoot you with my invisible gun but I'm the writer here!" The other AJ said. "I can get rid of you if I want!"
[Talon]: Please, shut up. Don’t give us false hope. As much as everyone here would love for you to trash your SI and this fic, we know it’s not happening because you wouldn’t have posted this crap up otherwise.
"I know myself so I know that's an empty threat!" AJ responded.
The other AJ growled and walked out.
"Wait, so that was you?" Blake asked.
"Yes." AJ said simply.
"The real you?"
"Yes."
"From the real world?"
"Yes!
[Talon]: Is this entire exchange pointless? Yes!
He's the one that shipped us!" AJ said angrily because she kept asking questions, not because he didn't want to be with her, no! He loved her! He was just losing his patience and hoping he could go back to his fanfic reading.
[Fufu]: ...Wait a sec? This is story!AJ talking here, right? Not writer!AJ doing the narration. So why is story!AJ wanting to read fanfic? Is he essentially re-reading his own story? That’d be some sort of weird circle jerking wank fest then.
[Talon]: I’m not really surprised by that, he is up himself (just like his Stuthor). However, I am surprised how this Stuthor has literally pointed out how his SI’s relationship with Blake has no chemistry and is only in there because the Stuthor wanted it in there. Why else would Boy even phrase it that way if there were a legitimate reason in the story for it? It’s just amazing how both aware and ignorant this Stuthor could be at the same time.
"Did someone say shipping!?" Ozpin asked excitedly.
[Talon]: Ozpin: “Time to get into the box, AJ! Oh, didn’t I tell you? Our experts at Beacon discovered that we could simply mail you back to your home, and it’ll only cost us 25 cents!”
AJ turned to the door. " NOT NOW OZPIN! " AJ yelled letting his Aura out for a moment and Ozpin sulked as he slowly walked down the halls.
[Kirby]: …*lies down* I’m exhausted.
[Fufu]: The struggle to do this chapter was way too real. Legit guys, I would look at it in my docs, and then be all like “noooooo”.
[Kirby]: And now, finally, the last author’s note.
I feel like the 30-40 follows and favorites are my audience but then I look at the traffic graph and see that I actually get many a view every day, my audience is much bigger than I realize. AND YET THERE ARE SO FEW REVIEWS!
[Kirby]: It’s because the fic is bad. People are showing it to their friends to get a laugh, because it’s bad. People don’t review bad fics. And you know what, I feel like being mean. The first fic I ever wrote was for the Kirby of the Stars (or Kirby; right back at ya!) fandom when I was in elementary school, it’s not great but it was it’s own story set after the anime ended. It’s also only over 6,000 words. Your fic has 90,000 more words than that and 17 reviews. I have 45 reviews on mine, most of them begging me to finish the story. So, ha ha.
[Fufu]: So what you’re saying is that, even while being a young puff writing the very fic we’re gonna do as our next project together, you still wrote better than this author? Or at least, have the sort of fans that would ask for more of what you were delivering?
[Kirby]: Well, for all its faults (and trust me when I say there will be plenty to spork), it was still an original story that was written to tie up a loose end from the anime. People wanted to see where I was going with it, even if the writing wasn’t great. I had only the barest sense of proper formating at the time, and thought myself waaaaay more clever than I was. But I was in my weeaboo phase, what do you expect.
I want reviews to know what people think but then people say bad things about it and then I get sad so it's a double edged blade but I need to deal with it. I have this problem with reviews and I freak out when I see that I have one because I think it's gonna be someone saying they hate the fic and my adrenaline gets going, no matter how stupid it is to be freaking out over that I can't help it! Don't insult me and then say you were kidding because the insult has already hit me by then and really hurts my feelings, even when I know you were joking I still feel it, it's the one big problem I have, guess nobody is perfect. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?
[Kirby]: MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE PUT THE STORY ONLINE THEN! RULE ONE ON THE INTERNET; PEOPLE ARE JERKS! IF YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THAT, THEN DON’T PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE!
[Kirby]: AND YOU DON’T NEED TO BE PERFECT! YOU JUST NEED TO NOT INSULT AND PERVERT THE WORK YOU’RE WRITING FOR! YOU NEED TO PUT EFFORT INTO WHAT YOU’RE WRITING! AND GET A DAMN BETA READER!
[Talon]: Well, look at that! Here, the Stuthor only realises how he’s not perfect, and yet his SI was willing to try kill Weiss over wanting to be perfect. I’d say it’s ironic, but it’s not, it’s just damn twisted. Considering how he made such a fucking issue about Weiss wanting to be perfect, he shouldn’t be so casually throwing the term out there when talking about himself. Talk about double standards!
[Kirby]: But at least the fic is over now.
[Fufu]: What a way to end it. And how about a round of applause for the three of us? For myself and Kirby for going through this in the first place, and then one for us three for managing to tackle this final chapter while working from three different timezones - myself in GMT/BST, Kirby in EST and Talon in +10 GMT. Good god, the late nights… x_x
[Talon]: And how about another applause for how this dreck is finally over? Now to go back to a happy life of gaming and not sitting through the wank fantasy of some 13 year old boy.
[Fufu]: Hate to burst your bubble, but there’s still Volume 3, Talon. Whether or not the author will still continue this come Volume 3 does remain to be seen, but it’s still a looming threat.
[Talon]: And fortunately for me, I will not have to spork it ^^
[Kirby]: Lucky you. I hope the author at least waits until the whole volume is out before he drags his ass all over it.
[Talon]: Actually, I hope he jumps straight into it, then Boy won’t have read ahead syndrome. Plus, it’d be hilarious to see how canon screws up with his fic.
[Fufu]: Yeah, I suppose that would be the only upside. Ah well, the important thing is that we’ve finally finished this. Now we can take a well earned break!
[Kirby]: Thank goodness.
[Fufu]: Now there’s only one thing left to do~.
[Kirby]: *grabs Talon* Muhahahaha~
[Talon]: What are you doing?! No! Let me go! I want to be free from this sporking!
[Fufu]: You’re coming with us to watch RWBY!
[Talon]: … Oh. Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad =D Okay, lady and puff. Someone is gonna bring the food, right?
[Kirby]: It’s party time! Hells ya we got food!
[Fufu]: And with that, we bid adieu folks! Thanks for sticking with us!
[Kirby]: Be sure to keep an eye out for Fufu and I’s next spork, where we go over my old Kirby fic! Let it never be said that I can’t take what I dish out!
[Penny]: Bye bye!
[Kirby]: (She was still here?!)