[Sporking] The Plus One of RWBY: He's gone - Bonus pt2
Then, six months after she had left,
[Talon]: Hold the fuck up. It’s only six months later right now? So what was the time frame from the above section? I was going on the assumption that months had passed since she left Beacon, but now we’re getting a timeline, I need to know where the above fits in this timeline. You can’t just start off with an ambiguous amount of time then - in the same scene, no less - give a time frame to something that happens after that doesn’t correlate to when the previous events occurred! It’s just confusing; either give us a complete timeline or keep things ambiguous so that the reader can decide the timeline for themselves. Don’t do both!
there was a knock at the door. She opened the door and froze
[Kirby]:
as she saw Ruby, Yang, and Weiss standing there, smiling at her. She broke down in tears again and Ruby and Yang were quick to embrace her until she calmed down.
[Kirby]: But Weiss turned around and went home, I guess.
[Talon]: It’s Weiss. She’s the Zoidberg in this crappy universe.
Apparently, they were supposed to give her closer to a year to cope, but Ruby was determined and eventually Ozpin caved and led them visit earlier.
[Kirby]: Because… Isolation is the best medicine? Pretty sure they tried that in Frozen and, spoilers, it didn’t turn out so well.
[Talon]: This just supports my theory that Ozpin wants Blake to himself. After all, if he keeps Blake isolated, then no one can hear her scream his name.
Blake was so very glad to see them, though at first it was quite an awkward reunion. It took awhile, another couple of weeks, but Blake eventually got used to how they are now, and they got used to how Blake is now.
[Kirby]: What the hell does that even mean?!
[Fufu]: I can get it to a degree, ignoring the weird tensing issue; I think the author’s trying to say that the girls got used to Blake’s new situation and how she was living and dealing with things. The thing that doesn’t make sense is why Blake has to get used to her friends. Are they suddenly above her because she no longer attends Beacon? Does she feel like they’re now outsiders and she has to adjust to the fact that they don’t live with her anymore in the same place?
Whenever the RWY of RWBY had a chance, they would all visit Blake, and Team RWBY would hang out together, and talk, and play, and laugh.
[Kirby]: Quick question; what happened to Sun? He and Blake are friends, and he wouldn’t be restricted by anything Ozpin supposedly said, so why isn’t he visiting?
[Fufu]: Don’t be silly Kirby, he’s a potential love interest, he can’t be anywhere near Blake, especially when she’s grieving over her dead boyfriend.
[Talon]: That, or Ozpin offed Sun and his team too, because he couldn’t let anyone interfere with his brilliant plan. *shot*
Blake was tempted to let this be her life, tempted to just live here, live a simple life.
[Talon]: Why the fuck would she be thinking this? If anything, she should be consumed by her own guilt for the fact that she’s doing absolutely nothing while the White Fang is out there, continuing being terrorists, and that she’s also not doing anything to help fight for Faunus rights!
But at the same time, the presence of her old team reminded her what she has been doing for a year here. She was still working on doing the simplest of things by herself,but she was slowly making progress.
[Talon]: What? Was she crippled? Was she in a wheelchair and we were conveniently not told about it? Because this sounds like she lost the ability to move a limb more than sounding like she was grieving. Fuck it, I’m giving it a point for us again seeing more of how useless Blake is.
Blake BellaSwanna: 38
[Kirby]: Geez, she needs a goddamn nanny or something. Hell, why hasn’t Ozpin found her help considering how much he is already providing for her?
[Talon]: Because then he couldn’t have Blake to himself. And no, I’m not dropping this point - that’s essentially what is going on with how ProAJ’s written this!
Her team was filling a void in her, just a bit.She was feeling less empty, less alone, less helpless and useless. They couldn't fill that void completely, nothing could.She would never be whole again without him, but she would keep trying anyway.
Blake BellaSwanna: 40
[Talon]: Two points: one point for her void essentially being the Big Damned Hole™ from New Moon, and another point for how it functions the same as in New Moon; Jacob wasn’t enough to completely fill Bella’s hole, and here the rest of team RWBY aren’t enough to completely fill Blake’s hole either.
Yang kept telling her that she was strong, and that she could do this, and that she needed to just take her time, one foot in front of the other.
[Talon]: (Yang): “You know what they say, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. And if you came out clubbing with me, you could find yourself a real catch.”
[Kirby]: (Ruby): “And you do like tuna a lot!”
[Talon]: Joking aside, this also gets another point for how Yang is again praising Blake for doing absolutely nothing.
Blake BellaSwanna: 41
The emptiness still made it difficult, but over the next year, she really made progress, and she managed to actually keep a simple job in the library. The only time she broke down now was when she was completely alone, when her team wasn't around, when she had cleaned everything, when she lied down and tried to sleep.
[Kirby]: Due to poor sentence structure, he's effectively named four occasions where Blake breaks down, rather than describing one. Also, those first two are redundant.
[Talon]: Honestly, I’m a little bit confused by what he means with the last bit of that final sentence. Does Blake only cry when she’s decided to clean the house right before she’s gone to sleep? Or does it mean that she cries in her sleep whenever the house is all nice and clean? Because otherwise, those actions would be mutually exclusive.
[Kirby]: Also, point for Big Damned Hole™.
Blake BellaSwanna: 42
She still hadn't recovered yet. She still wasn't fine mentally, she still had nightmares, watching him die in her arms.
[Talon]: After going through this entire ficlette, seeing Blake constantly blame herself for Boy’s death, we FINALLY get the line that implies that she was there the moment he died. Now, I just have one itty bitty question…
WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE THIS FIC?!
[Talon]: This wasn’t written to be some big reveal. In fact, it feels like it was just tossed in there because ProAJ realised he forgot to mention this earlier and wasn’t bothered to go scroll up and add this in somewhere. Except, this is pretty prominent information, that should have been stated at the beginning! It sets the tone to how scarring the event was to her. Also, it gives us an explanation on why she constantly felt guilty, even if we never do find out how Boy did end up dying.
They happened so much less often than they used to, but that almost made it worse when they did happen, they came out of nowhere then.
[Kirby]: *sighs* Point for nightmares.
Blake BellaSwanna: 43
[Talon]: I know the nightmare thing seems terribly cliched, but to be fair, Blake did see her boyfriend die in her arms, as opposed to watching him walk away (like Edward did).
[Kirby]: Yes, but did you notice that this is the first we’ve heard of her having nightmares? Think about it, we’ve had two other instances when her having nightmares could have been mentioned; the crappy library transition where she falls asleep, and right at the god-damned start of the fic when they’re all waking up! So, it’s pretty clear that the nightmares are only being introduced this late into the story for the sake of manufacturing sympathy, not as part of any sort of character development.
[Talon]: Huh, that is true. Hell, we never even got her nightmares being cause for her lack of sleep when Ozpin was giving reasons why he had to kick her out. They really only focused on her poor performance with her grades.
So yeah, I guess that point stands then.
She read lots of books, trying to find the new thought process that she needed. Meditation books and the like weren't helping like she hoped they would.
[Kirby]: No shit Sherlock. You're supposed to do the actual meditation, not just read about it.
[Fufu]: Is that really how we’re ending this segment? Seems rather abrupt.
[Kirby]: No kidding. All this build up to her living on her own with her depression, and we don’t even get to really see it. He might as well of written “she was sad for two years” and saved us a couple hundred words.
It was after the second year ended that she finally got what she needed. Her mind finally shifted in a way that would help her. The nightmares stopped, the breakdowns ceased, and she started smiling a lot.
[Talon]: In what universe would it be seen as normal if Blake was smiling a lot? She doesn’t readily show her emotions to the world like that.
The progress she had been making increased rapidly, and just as RWY
[Talon]: -was wondering where their catcher was.
was beginning its third year, she was certain that she was ready to go back to Beacon and become a Huntress. Some of her 'progress' had been training herself how to fight again, she was a bit rusty, but it would do. It was muscle memory, as soon as she started sparring with other students, she would regain her skills quickly.
And she did. Her newfound determination and confidence seemed to make her a better fighter than ever before. Sure, she graduated two years behind Ruby and Jaune's teams, but what mattered was that she had done it!
[Kirby]: Okay, quick question: Is she still a member of Team RWBY? Because she really shouldn’t be, because that leaves Team RWBY without a fourth member in a system where everything seems to be done in four-person teams as well as leaving Blake without a team for her last two years.
[Kirby]: But, of course, the author never explains this obvious problem, probably because he just didn’t care. Just like in Bullshit Hug Chapter, where he couldn’t be bothered to come up with a reason why Weiss was upset; he skips over basic storytelling to focus on the only thing he cares about: AJ.
[Kirby]: Blake’s recovery? The rest of Team RWBY being supportive? Every-fucking-thing that happened in those two years? Of course he couldn’t write about that! Because it would involve them coming to terms with what happened and moving on. But author needs everything to be about AJ, so he skips over what is the most interesting parts of a sad!fic, the healing process. The parts where the characters talk about what happened, help each other, and support one another. The parts where they fight, breakdown, and apologize. The parts where they go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. THAT is what people reading sad!fic want to see, but we can’t because author cannot allow the characters to be without AJ. So they’re not allowed to move on; no catharsis, no closure, no goodbye. So that, despite being dead, AJ is still the center of everyone’s motivation.
[Kirby]: And just like with Hug Bullshit, the idea of the story could work. Coping with the loss of a teammate over several years could make an interesting story. And I’d even say that AJ being the one to die actually does give him a place in the story (unlike Hug Chapter, where he could have been replaced by Yang with very little difference). But the focus would have to be on the healing, not the person who died.
[Kirby]: It would also probably need to be a story proper, not a one-shot, as it would take a lot of time to do right, but you get what I’m saying right?
"So, you believe you are ready to come back to my school?" Ozpin asked.
[Kirby]: AJ: “You see that!!! I made a reference to the first episode!!! I’m so clever!!!!! Praise my smart-y-ness!!!!!1!!11!!!!!!” Also, why is this flashback here when it could have been put in the story chronologically?
"I do." Blake answered with a nod and a smile.
"You are certain that you are prepared, mentally and physically, to continue at Beacon Academy?" Ozpin asked.
[Talon]: Did Jaune go through this same questioning when he entered the school?
[Kirby]: Eh, probably not.
"I am." Blake answered.
"What changed? One day your teammates came back and told me that you had been smiling a lot lately. Months later, here you are." Ozpin noted.
[Talon]: Scroll up for my point about how Blake smiling a lot is not normal… Actually, maybe Ozpin has a right to be questioning Blake’s mental state. If I saw Blake smiling a lot, I’d be worried that she finally snapped.
"My mind finally… shifted in a way that I needed it to." Blake answered after some thought, the light smile not leaving her face. "It wasn't the way I expected it to, but I finally had the mental change that I needed. Now I can be calm, I can focus… I can really smile again."
"What happened? In what way did your mind shift?" Ozpin asked.
[Fufu]: Well clearly her left lobe was a bit too far to the left, but it's centred now.
"Does it matter?" Blake asked in response.
Ozpin paused for just a moment. 'Why is she smiling so much? It's as if she never lost him.'
[Kirby]: Way to prove my previous point. Author steered the conversation back to AJ as soon as the opportunity presented itself.
"It does matter. If you don't tell me what changed, I won't know for certain that you really are ready to come back here."
[Kirby]: Ozpin “I'm giving you a reason to wank about AJ as much as you can.”
For the first time since she walked in, Blake actually frowned. "I see your point. Fair enough." But she soon smiled again at the thought.
[Kirby]: -of wanking.
"It used to be that I avoided thinking about him at all costs. I could only be sad at the thought that I would never see him again, never have him hold me, never get to hold and comfort him… It is still a sad thought, and I know that. I will never get to kiss him again…" She looked down sadly for a moment before smiling again.
"What happened to ([Kirby]: *my) mind was…
[Kirby]: ‘Kay Blake, I’ma let you finish, but let me say a thing. WARNING! What follows is some of the most disturbing shit ProAJ has ever dished out. Every single sentence glorifies how dependent Blake is on AJ. And quite frankly, it scares the shit out of me that the author thinks this is a healthy way to cope with loss.
I stopped being sad when I thought about him. Instead, I always thought about how nice he was. I think about how it feels to be held by him if I'm ever sad. I started imagining he was in the room with me whenever I was alone,and then I didn't feel alone.
[Talon]: CODE RED, CODE RED… wait, that’s not high enough here. CODE: THIS FUCKING BITCH IS INSANE! DO NOT LET HER BACK IN THE SCHOOL!
Blake BellaSwanna: 53
[Talon]: This deserves ten points because FUCKING HALLUCINATING is not a method to get over grief, MEYER PROAJ. It is an indication that SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP!
Sometimes I would imagine him saying nice things to me, and sometimes I would talk back.
[Talon]: Nice things like how pretty your eyes are and… how pretty your eyes are! Seriously, you can count all the times he said something nice to Blake on one hand. Otherwise, he was still a condescending arsehole.
I stopped thinking about the good times and wishing I could have them again, and instead just imagined those times were here with me.
Sometimes when I'm talking with Ruby, Weiss, and Yang, I would imagine that he's there with us. The whole team is back together, all smiling and laughing. He would make funny comments
[Fufu]: They weren’t funny. This is a little narcissistic on the author’s part, plus anytime AJ did interject on what were jokes in the original show, he’d simply ruin them.
on things the others would say and I would have to hold back my laughter.
[Talon]: Okay, Ozpin, are you listening to this shit? Blake is not only smiling a lot but laughing a lot too! THERE IS SOMETHING CLEARLY WRONG WITH HER! SHE IS UNHINGED!
I can just imagine him here with us, trying to convince you to let me back in to ([Talon]: *into) the school. Heh. Or maybe he would be trying to keep me from going back here, trying to get me to stay in the apartment that we live in together.
[Kirby]: It would be the second one, dearie. Because why would AJ want you to fulfill your goals when he can just have you to himself?
Blake BellaSwanna: 54
I know what it sounds like, but I'm not stupid or anything.
[Talon]: No Blake, you can only be as smart as the author writing you, and anyone who can write this drivel and expect it to be taken seriously is stupid.
I know he isn't really there, but just picturing him there, smiling at me, makes me feel all warm inside,
Blake BellaSwanna: 55
[Talon]: Because the only way Blake can be happy is by imagining her man.
like when he was really there and really did smile at me. If I try hard to remember, I can feel him hugging me and cuddling and sleeping together, it helps me sleep without nightmares. Sometimes we both stand on the balcony and look out at the city together. I'm not telling my team about him though, I don't want them to think I'm crazy. Because I know I sound like I'm crazy, but I imagine him there on purpose, I'm not seeing things, I know he isn't really there.
[Kirby]: Blake. YOU ARE CRAZY! I’m sorry, but she’s living in some sort of insane denial. This isn’t healing, this isn’t even coping, this is flat out refusing to accept the truth. HE’S DEAD! PRETENDING THAT HE ISN’T IS HALLUCINATING! AND THAT’S NOT FUCKING HEALTHY!
I figured I would move on in some other way, but instead, now I just imagine he's with me, and it turns out that that's all I really need. I'm happy now. I'm finally mentally stable! *Chuckle* But really, I'm ok now. I'm ready. I can fight, I can study, I can do things on my own again."
[Kirby]: Oh my god. I… I don’t… where to even…
[Talon]: *raises hand* Let’s just start with how overall, this is sending a bad message. Blake is very obviously hallucinating here - this is not a coping mechanism nor should it ever be considered as such. In fact, hallucinations NEVER occur as a benefit to the hallucinator, they occur when the mind is in crisis. Often they accompany a neurological or psychological illness, and should be immediately seen to by a doctor. However, you can also have them due to drug use or from being depraved apparent stimulus for certain sensory receptors over a prolonged time.
[Talon]: In either case, having a hallucination is severe, and needs to be looked at immediately by a medical expert. (Or in the case of drug use, you might want to make sure you’re not using those drugs on your own and stay in a relatively safe environment; not that I’m supporting drug use) And here, Blake saying she’s “ok” should be disregarded because having hallucinations are dangerous, especially in her line of work! For one: if she’s hallucinating the existence of Boy, how does she know for certain that anything else she’s seeing isn’t a hallucination as well? Maybe she’s also been hallucinating that her friends were around when in reality, they haven’t visited her once in those two years. It’s not like Blake could know for sure.
[Talon]: Furthermore, what were to happen if she were out fighting Grim and the hallucination persisted in battle? Could she be so certain she wouldn’t make a mistake and rush to the aid of someone who wasn’t actually there, thus endangering herself and others? And it’s not like she can just “not think” of him during battle, because if this really is a hallucination, then she won’t have control of when the hallucinations happens. It’s not the same as imagining something.
[Talon]: And I know that throughout this, ProAJ has described it as it being Blake’s imagination but that doesn’t hold up when you look at her description. She has these imaginations while her friends are around talking to her; just try to hold a conversation with someone and also imagine something else at the same time. You’ll find out very quickly you won’t be able to focus on the conversation that well, or that you’ll get caught up in the conversation that you forget whatever you were imagining. If this was voluntary, it would mean that Blake has no interest in her friends, which again, is not how it’s described when we do get told about her friends meeting her.
[Talon]: Now, of course, let’s say I were to be fair and go along with what ProAJ wanted and say that this was just her imagination. Well, in that case, I still say she wasn’t sane enough to be coming back to school either. It’s been two fucking years, and she still can’t go to bed without bawling her eyes out without her fucked damn imaginary fucking teddy bear! There is only so long that someone can be in the denial stage of grief before it becomes unhealthy.
[Talon]: This was not like the beginning of this fic where she was still crying a month later - some people do need more time to deal with it, and I am willing to be lenient and say that a person can still be crying a month later after the death of someone close to them. But this is two fucking years later, and she still hasn’t accepted his death! Generally, if it’s been six months later, and you still can’t accept that someone has died, you might need to consider talking to a psychologist or a counsellor because at this point it’s evident that you have some issue that is preventing you from moving on. And I will apply this logic on Blake: she should be seeking counselling by now! And if she’s unwilling to seek it herself, Ozpin should be insisting she go to a professional because as a teacher he should be fucking concerned about her mental well being!
[Talon]: Speaking of Ozpin; why is he asking her this after two years? Considering it was his idea to force her out of the school and give her an apartment to herself, you’d think he’d actually be checking up on her regularly. Plus doesn’t this defeat the purpose of his plan? He wanted her to take a break - and let us pretend for a moment that isolating a mourning person is a perfectly sensible thing to do - so that she can get over Boy and come back with a healthy mindset. Wouldn’t it be logical to regularly visit her and see for yourself how she was developing? It’s not like Blake couldn’t have waited a month and then come back, lying about the state of her psyche. Since Ozpin was keeping her isolated and wasn’t even bothering to check on her himself, he’d have no way to disprove her claims that she was fine when she wasn’t.
[Talon]: God damn, this has gotten way longer than I intended, but really, there was no other way to put this. This entire section is filled with so much wrong, that it’s genuinely difficult to not go on a rant for every sentence when we finally can put into words what we find wrong with the section.
"It sounds like having an imaginary friend." Ozpin noted.
[Fufu]: Which is mainly something little kids do. Sure, some inventive people can create characters later on in life, but to actually interact with them and see them as though they were real, in most cases, that’s seen as an issue.
Blake frowned at that. "I don't like how it sounds when you put it that way."
[Talon]: If you don’t like how that sounds, then you’re certainly not going to like it if someone were actually honest with you. Because I’d be more likely to say you were hallucinating, going insane, going off the deep end, losing your grip on reality, having a false sense of perception without apparent stimulus, or losing your fucking marbles. Need I go on?
"I apologize. I did not mean to upset you."
[Talon]: Why? What was upsetting about that? He pretty much sugar coated. Or is this because we can’t hurt the sensitive sensibilities of the precious love interest?
Blake BellaSwanna: 56
Blake sighed reluctantly. "It's alright. You aren't really wrong."
"Well, you truly think you are ready, so it would be wrong to turn you down.
[Kirby]: NO! FUCK NO! GOD DAMMIT OZ! She needs a doctor! Take this woman to see some help! PLEASE! CALL DOCTOR OOBLECK!
[Fufu]: But he’s probably not a medical doctor! What could he do?!
[Kirby]: Provide a rational point of view! Because Ozpin’s been smoking the strong stuff again!
[Fufu]: Stuff better be so strong he hallucinates an AJ as well…
[Kirby]: Maybe this has all just been a hallucination. The question is, whose?
[Fufu]: Nora’s after a pancake high?
[Kirby]: I feel like that would involve a lot more Ursa riding.
Welcome back to Beacon, Blake Belladonna." Ozpin said before shaking her hand firmly.
Blake went back down the elevator with a big smile on her face.
[Kirby]:
Ozpin paused for a few moments longer before speaking. "You have been awfully quiet. You haven't expressed your dislike with my decision."
Glynda
[Kirby]: -materialized from the void.
hesitated. "It… it sounds more like a coping mechanism than real recovery."
[Kirby]: THANK YOU GLYNDA!
[Talon]: I said before but I’ll say it again: Glynda is our voice of reason in this crappysack world!
"You don't believe her coping is a permanent solution?" Ozpin asked.
"I do not."
[Kirby]: HOLY SHIT! I LOVE THIS WOMAN!
"Well… I have faith in her. I believe that this 'coping' is just what she needed. It is a safe solution to her mental state. As long as it holds, she will succeed."
[Kirby]: There’s the rub; “as long as it holds”. Which means that her current sanity is extremely fragile and liable to break at the most inopportune moment. Which, considering how dangerous it is to be a huntress, will probably result in her death.
[Talon]: But just before… you were just questioning Glynda for not thinking it was a permanent solution… and here you are now… admitting it’s not. I just…
Ozpin said before leaning back in his chair and drinking his coffee.
[Kirby]: Ozpin: “Ahhh, Glynda remind me to thank Team RWBY for these excellent coffee beans.”
[Fufu]: Glynda: “I’m fairly certain they came back injured, and Blake is even on the brink because of that “mission”.”
[Kirby]: Ozpin: “Worth it.”
([Kirby]: Fun Fact, apparently it’s not coffee in Ozpin’s mug, it’s hot chocolate.)
At first, Team RWBY went on missions together.
[Kirby]: How? Blake graduated two years later! Did the rest of Team RWBY just sit on their asses waiting for her?!
[Talon]: HOLD IT! What’s the actual context of this sentence? We just came off of a flashback of Blake getting accepted back into the school. At least specify whether or not this is happening at Beacon or if this is after Blake graduated! I would like to know in what ways the Stuthor messed up so that I can accurately gripe about it.
[Fufu]: Y’know what, fuckit. I don’t even care if there’s not much fic left, I’m leaving, I can’t handle this. *slams the door shut; locks it*
[Talon]: WHAT?! WHO SAID YOU COULD LEAVE?! NO! DON’T LEAVE ME IN HERE!!!!!!1! *claws on door*
[Kirby]: Crap, she got away! *calls through the door* PICK UP SOME SNACKS WHILE YOU’RE OUT!
[Fufu]: *calls back* FINE, BUT YOU’RE PAYING ME BACK LATER!
But, soon they went on solo missions,
[Kirby]: What any of these missions involved will not expanded on, because the author doesn’t care.
and from then on they never went on missions together ever again.
[Talon]: Why were they on missions together in the first place? Are they working at the same place? Because if so, then why wouldn’t they be going on missions together ever? It doesn’t seem logical that a job would decide “okay, you can all start working in teams, but eventually, we want you to solo and never need to work in teams no matter how many Grimm there are to fight!”, they would decide on how many huntsmen/women they’d need depending on what the mission was. And if they weren’t working in the same place, why the fuck would they be working on missions together in the first place? They may not be working in the same city for all you know! But you know, it’s not like any of this needs to be elaborated on. Oh, no! Otherwise we would be taking away from tripe on Blake’s fweewins.
Any time one of them was done with a mission, the others were still on missions, there was no time to wait for them though, because they needed to head back out as soon as possible.
They still met up from time to time. They never stopped being friends, they never stopped being teammates.
[Kirby]: And yet, they don’t go on missions together anymore.
[Talon]: And let’s not forget that Blake taking two years off from school meant she was no longer part of team RWBY.
Sometimes one of them would change and fall a bit out of touch, but the team worked hard to make sure they never fell completely out of touch.
[Kirby]: How and how? Fuck, I don’t even care anymore.
…
One day Blake went on a mission and never came back…
[Talon]: And here we are, ladies, gentlemen and sporkers! The big pay-off for everything we’ve had to sit through thus far. After all this shit the Stuthor has forced on Blake throughout this chapter, she finally can’t take it anymore and commits suicide.
[Talon]: Now certainly, the death of a beloved character has evoked many emotions in all of us. Sadness. Denial. Anger at the injustice. Grief in all of its forms. But never fear, I have the video that accurately reflects all the emotions that are welling up inside you at this moment!
[Talon]: Yeah, this reveal was so bland and obvious that I can’t even bring myself to care. I was able to get angry at the insult to Blake’s character throughout all of this chapter but then when we finally hit this reveal, I couldn’t muster anything. It’s just lacking emotion, not to mention that with how insulting the rest of this chapter was, her committing suicide has no impact in comparison. I can’t even feel bad because I’m seeing a character I love being killed off, because with how much her character’s been butchered I can’t even identify her as the Blake we know and love.
It was a fear they live with every moment, but that didn't make the pain any duller. There was so much wrong with her death.
[Kirby]: How so? Was there suspicion of foul play?
[Talon]: This is why you should never underestimate the strength of the chicken Grimm!
[Kirby]: *Bah dum tish*
Why her? After all the work she put into making it as a Huntress? After all the pain she went through?
[Talon]: It truly is a tragedy. And it all could have been avoided if she had a Sassy Gay Friend™!
In a way, her pain was over now, but that didn't make it right. She shouldn't have been the first one to be lost.
[Kirby]: ProAJ: It should have been Weiss, of course.
There was one thing though. One thing that they could take solace in.
[Talon]: They finally had extra wardrobe space! Who’d have thought that Blake needed so much room for all her bows?
She thought they didn't know, but they could tell. Sure, she had started smiling a lot more all of the sudden, but that wasn't all. There were times, rare times, times that lasted just a moment, where she would have a different smile, and a different look in her eyes.
That look…
That smile…
They had nearly forgotten what those looked like on her, but they still knew it all too well.
[Kirby]: It was the same look she got whenever she drank Ozpin’s special tea.
That smile was reserved for him, and him alone.
Blake BellaSwanna: 57
[Talon]: Was it a crooked smile?
It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on with her.
[Talon]: She was reading porn in the library while pretending that she was studying.
And that was what they could take solace in.
She went on a mission alone.
But
[Talon]: -she forgot that it ended with That One Boss, and hadn’t stocked up on enough healing items for it.
she didn't die alone, and in pain.
[Kirby]:
She died with him by her side. They knew that he would have appeared before her like an angel and held her and comforted her as she passed away.
Blake BellaSwanna: 58
[Talon]: Two points. One for implying that she was hallucinating his appearance at the time of her death, and one for the fact that they’re calling him an angel, just like with all the sparkly angels in the Twilight series.
She died in peace, that was what they could take solace in.
[Kirby]: Because the rest of Team RWBY, as well as JNPR and SSSN, just barely give a damn, apparently. Fuck, it drives me nuts how little ProAJ thinks of Blake’s friendships. But hey, they’re just friends not her twue wuv so fuck ‘em.
Blake BellaSwanna: 59
Truly, her pain was over.
[Talon]: Her time of the month finally ended!
She was with him again.
[Kirby]: Of course she is, of fucking course she fucking is.
[Talon]: Because that’s all that matters. Why care about any of her damned friends?
Blake BellaSwanna: 60
And maybe, just maybe, she wasn't just imagining him on purpose. Maybe he really was there, comforting her. But no one will ever know.
[Kirby]: ...AJ killed her. Tell me I’m wrong.
[Talon]: I won’t, since regardless of how, he’s responsible for her death. I wouldn’t be surprised that her dependence on AJ meant that she killed herself just to be with him. After all, the way he treats her is abusive, and considering how hostile he is to anyone who doesn’t do as he wishes, there was never a way for Blake to escape. You could argue that she has a case of Stockholm Syndrome here, since she technically had the opportunity to be free of him but she’s already sympathised with her abuser and believes he cared about her, thus she chose to give up her freedom instead.
[Kirby]: Psh. I just think that he never died and then followed her on her mission to stab her in the back. Makes sense to me.
[Talon]: Well, we really can’t dismiss any theory. We never actually got any details on how Blake died. She just “went on a mission and never came back”. For all we know, she decided to jump off a cliff just so that she could see his face one last time.
Blake BellaSwanna: 61
(It's okay it's not canon OH GOD STOP CRYING I'M SORRY)
[Kirby]: Shut the fuck up.
Wow, I actually had to hold back tears a bit at the end there…
[Kirby]: Why, because you had a disappointing finish?
So… I was tempted to give you a feels warning… but I felt like that would just spoil what was coming. If the feels were really going to hit, you would need to not see it coming, right?
[Talon]: Actually no, if the feels were going to hit, it’d happen regardless. You just need to know how not to suck at writing emotion. Or characters for that matter.
Blake BellaSwanna: 62
I have no idea why this idea came up, but for some reason, when it did, I decided I needed to write it. The feels were too strong not to write.
Well that's all I got to say. I hope you all have/had a great day!
[Kirby]:
Hey, that rhymes! :D
[Talon]: You know what else rhymes? The words fuck and suck, which both can be used to describe this chapter because it fucking sucks!
[Kirby]: Good god does it ever! This was so hard to get through guys, way more so than any other chapter.
[Talon]: Wasn’t it? Just look at this count!
Blake BellaSwanna: 62
[Talon]: That is a concrete value on how much utter bullshit is in this oneshot!
[Kirby]: Seriously! That number is way too damn high! I am soooooo tired~.
[Talon]: Well too bad, we’re going to need to finish this shitfic properly. Speaking of which… *bangs on the door* OI FUFU! WE’RE DONE IN HERE!
[Fufu]: *re-enters with snacks* I don’t know what you’re gonna repay me in, given the different currencies, but it was a fair bit of money.
[Kirby]: Do you take Pokédollars, Bells, or Septims?
[Talon]: I plan to repay in you by letting you have the floor with finishing up this shitfic. *puts an emu in front of the door* And this time, you’re not leaving early until we’re properly done~
[Fufu]: What do you want me to say? This fic is bullshit and I struggled enough to get through it. The end.
[Kirby]: This is the worst thing ProAJ’s ever written. It’s worse than chapter 5, worse than chapter 7, and worse than chapter 11. Because this chapter isn’t just jipping from canon and defiling characters; its crime is far worse, it’s BORING!!!!! There’s none of the charm of the original show here, none of the humour, none of the action, none of the character. It doesn’t feel like how Blake would deal with the loss of a loved one, because he won’t let her move on.
[Talon]: This entire chapter had me constantly asking this one question: WHY DOES BOY EVEN LIKE BLAKE? Everything here isn’t describing how Blake would handle the death of a loved one; in fact, it’s not anything remotely close to how Blake would handle it. This proves how little ProAJ knows of this character, yet he’s insisted on pairing his SI with her. So why does his SI love Blake? It’s clearly not for her personality because the Stuthor proved he doesn’t know or respect her personality. It’s definitely not because of them sharing an experience together because he wrote it as love at first sight. As far as the only reason given for why Boy likes Blake is because she has pretty eyes, and that’s about it.
[Talon]: Also, the fact that he doesn’t know Blake’s character at all is what makes this chapter so fucking painful to go through. We’re not just reading a bad story, we’re reading a bad story about a boring, stupid, and useless character who shares a name with a fairly superior character from the RWBY series. We can’t even really get angry at this because this chapter isn’t even shitting on Blake: this character Boy is dating is not Blake in any stretch of the imagination, other than in name. And to be honest, none of us give a shit about how dependant and useless he wants to make his own OC.
[Talon]: Yet even when looking at it from that perspective, this chapter is still so horrendous. This chapter is meant to be focusing on the character that the Stuthor chose to be his waifu, and showing how true their love is. But it fails in both regards. If you can’t even get the basics of your chosen waifu/husbando’s personality down, then you can’t claim your SI loves that character because that is not love. If you love someone, even if it’s not romantically, you generally KNOW them, because you also give a damn about their personality as well. Furthermore, if the only way to show that your characters are in love by having one being unable to live without the other, then YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! That is not love, that is called obsession and obsession isn’t love.
[Talon]: This is a common mistake used by Suethors in all fandoms. We’ve all seen it. We all hate it. And we all dread it when we see it being used by professionals. It’s usually understandable when Suethors do it, because it’s being written by young teens who have never experienced romantic love. However, that doesn’t mean it can be free from criticism. In fact, it makes it all the more painful to go through because those of us who know better knows how damaging the implication of this Twu Wuv can be.
[Talon]: I know we’ve already finished with the count from the ficlette, but I just have to bring it up again to add more points to it because this is a big offence that not only Meyer is guilty of but many YA romance novels. Our romantic leads are in twu wuv but honestly have no legitimate reason to like each other, let alone love each other. And for that offence, I’m giving the count another 58 points! For EVERY fucking time we had to sit through this bullshit in the main series (as counted by Kirby).
Blake BellaSwanna: 120 - Final Count
[Kirby]: Holy shit, look at that number. Even before our rage-adding, there is no reason why this story should have so many similarities to the shit that is Twilight. But still, here we are with ProAJ writing Blake as useless, needy Bella; because that’s his ideal relationship, where his woman has no life and only thinks of him at all times. I seriously hope that author grows up, because if he’s expecting a future girlfriend to be like this… well I suppose it’s possible, but it won’t be a healthy relationship for either party.
[Talon]: If he doesn’t grow out of it, it’s more likely he’ll get into his first relationship and then have a cry about it on tumblr how unfair real life is before manning the fuck up.
[Fufu]: We need to find something else to do, by this point, we’re just giving the author more exposure, and it’s doing nothing for us except mentally draining us.
[Talon]: Maybe you two should take a break from this series, and look into something else for a while~
[Fufu]: If you think you’re getting out of sporks just because we brought you in to do this “franchise” with us, you can think again. You’re stuck with us. *wields the Spork Note* I have your name in here!
[Talon]: Remind me to change my name after this.
[Kirby]: Pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. But yeah, we super need a break from this. I kinda want to get back to sporking my shitty Kirby fic.
[Fufu]: And I’ve still got my solo spork to continue...
[Talon]: And I’ve got nothing to do but to go back to my regular life and be happy ^^
[Fufu]: *hits with the Spork Note* Even if you didn’t start those with us, we will either drag you in with us, or find something for us to do together. And we can come back to this.
[Talon]: Thanks, for dashing all my hopes and dreams.
[Kirby]: So, this is the end of the Plus One sporkings, for now at least. Keep an eye on our journals for future projects! And thank you for reading!
[Fufu]: It’s only the end for now. Because guys, this author and his fics is literally killing us. Well, not literally but you get it. Though we do still have a lot of his work on the backburner ready to be dealt with when we feel we can handle it. But right now, we’re done. We’ve dealt with too much of his work, and this one piece was the last straw. We need a break from his bullshit.
[Talon]: Until then, we’ll be suffering on some other badfic series. See you all around next time~
[Fufu]: Yeah next time. For something that won’t be Plus One related.
[Kirby]: Hallelujah!
[Talon]: Hold the fuck up. It’s only six months later right now? So what was the time frame from the above section? I was going on the assumption that months had passed since she left Beacon, but now we’re getting a timeline, I need to know where the above fits in this timeline. You can’t just start off with an ambiguous amount of time then - in the same scene, no less - give a time frame to something that happens after that doesn’t correlate to when the previous events occurred! It’s just confusing; either give us a complete timeline or keep things ambiguous so that the reader can decide the timeline for themselves. Don’t do both!
there was a knock at the door. She opened the door and froze
[Kirby]:
as she saw Ruby, Yang, and Weiss standing there, smiling at her. She broke down in tears again and Ruby and Yang were quick to embrace her until she calmed down.
[Kirby]: But Weiss turned around and went home, I guess.
[Talon]: It’s Weiss. She’s the Zoidberg in this crappy universe.
Apparently, they were supposed to give her closer to a year to cope, but Ruby was determined and eventually Ozpin caved and led them visit earlier.
[Kirby]: Because… Isolation is the best medicine? Pretty sure they tried that in Frozen and, spoilers, it didn’t turn out so well.
[Talon]: This just supports my theory that Ozpin wants Blake to himself. After all, if he keeps Blake isolated, then no one can hear her scream his name.
Blake was so very glad to see them, though at first it was quite an awkward reunion. It took awhile, another couple of weeks, but Blake eventually got used to how they are now, and they got used to how Blake is now.
[Kirby]: What the hell does that even mean?!
[Fufu]: I can get it to a degree, ignoring the weird tensing issue; I think the author’s trying to say that the girls got used to Blake’s new situation and how she was living and dealing with things. The thing that doesn’t make sense is why Blake has to get used to her friends. Are they suddenly above her because she no longer attends Beacon? Does she feel like they’re now outsiders and she has to adjust to the fact that they don’t live with her anymore in the same place?
Whenever the RWY of RWBY had a chance, they would all visit Blake, and Team RWBY would hang out together, and talk, and play, and laugh.
[Kirby]: Quick question; what happened to Sun? He and Blake are friends, and he wouldn’t be restricted by anything Ozpin supposedly said, so why isn’t he visiting?
[Fufu]: Don’t be silly Kirby, he’s a potential love interest, he can’t be anywhere near Blake, especially when she’s grieving over her dead boyfriend.
[Talon]: That, or Ozpin offed Sun and his team too, because he couldn’t let anyone interfere with his brilliant plan. *shot*
Blake was tempted to let this be her life, tempted to just live here, live a simple life.
[Talon]: Why the fuck would she be thinking this? If anything, she should be consumed by her own guilt for the fact that she’s doing absolutely nothing while the White Fang is out there, continuing being terrorists, and that she’s also not doing anything to help fight for Faunus rights!
But at the same time, the presence of her old team reminded her what she has been doing for a year here. She was still working on doing the simplest of things by herself,but she was slowly making progress.
[Talon]: What? Was she crippled? Was she in a wheelchair and we were conveniently not told about it? Because this sounds like she lost the ability to move a limb more than sounding like she was grieving. Fuck it, I’m giving it a point for us again seeing more of how useless Blake is.
Blake BellaSwanna: 38
[Kirby]: Geez, she needs a goddamn nanny or something. Hell, why hasn’t Ozpin found her help considering how much he is already providing for her?
[Talon]: Because then he couldn’t have Blake to himself. And no, I’m not dropping this point - that’s essentially what is going on with how ProAJ’s written this!
Her team was filling a void in her, just a bit.She was feeling less empty, less alone, less helpless and useless. They couldn't fill that void completely, nothing could.She would never be whole again without him, but she would keep trying anyway.
Blake BellaSwanna: 40
[Talon]: Two points: one point for her void essentially being the Big Damned Hole™ from New Moon, and another point for how it functions the same as in New Moon; Jacob wasn’t enough to completely fill Bella’s hole, and here the rest of team RWBY aren’t enough to completely fill Blake’s hole either.
Yang kept telling her that she was strong, and that she could do this, and that she needed to just take her time, one foot in front of the other.
[Talon]: (Yang): “You know what they say, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. And if you came out clubbing with me, you could find yourself a real catch.”
[Kirby]: (Ruby): “And you do like tuna a lot!”
[Talon]: Joking aside, this also gets another point for how Yang is again praising Blake for doing absolutely nothing.
Blake BellaSwanna: 41
The emptiness still made it difficult, but over the next year, she really made progress, and she managed to actually keep a simple job in the library. The only time she broke down now was when she was completely alone, when her team wasn't around, when she had cleaned everything, when she lied down and tried to sleep.
[Kirby]: Due to poor sentence structure, he's effectively named four occasions where Blake breaks down, rather than describing one. Also, those first two are redundant.
[Talon]: Honestly, I’m a little bit confused by what he means with the last bit of that final sentence. Does Blake only cry when she’s decided to clean the house right before she’s gone to sleep? Or does it mean that she cries in her sleep whenever the house is all nice and clean? Because otherwise, those actions would be mutually exclusive.
[Kirby]: Also, point for Big Damned Hole™.
Blake BellaSwanna: 42
She still hadn't recovered yet. She still wasn't fine mentally, she still had nightmares, watching him die in her arms.
[Talon]: After going through this entire ficlette, seeing Blake constantly blame herself for Boy’s death, we FINALLY get the line that implies that she was there the moment he died. Now, I just have one itty bitty question…
WHERE THE FUCK WAS THIS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE THIS FIC?!
[Talon]: This wasn’t written to be some big reveal. In fact, it feels like it was just tossed in there because ProAJ realised he forgot to mention this earlier and wasn’t bothered to go scroll up and add this in somewhere. Except, this is pretty prominent information, that should have been stated at the beginning! It sets the tone to how scarring the event was to her. Also, it gives us an explanation on why she constantly felt guilty, even if we never do find out how Boy did end up dying.
They happened so much less often than they used to, but that almost made it worse when they did happen, they came out of nowhere then.
[Kirby]: *sighs* Point for nightmares.
Blake BellaSwanna: 43
[Talon]: I know the nightmare thing seems terribly cliched, but to be fair, Blake did see her boyfriend die in her arms, as opposed to watching him walk away (like Edward did).
[Kirby]: Yes, but did you notice that this is the first we’ve heard of her having nightmares? Think about it, we’ve had two other instances when her having nightmares could have been mentioned; the crappy library transition where she falls asleep, and right at the god-damned start of the fic when they’re all waking up! So, it’s pretty clear that the nightmares are only being introduced this late into the story for the sake of manufacturing sympathy, not as part of any sort of character development.
[Talon]: Huh, that is true. Hell, we never even got her nightmares being cause for her lack of sleep when Ozpin was giving reasons why he had to kick her out. They really only focused on her poor performance with her grades.
So yeah, I guess that point stands then.
She read lots of books, trying to find the new thought process that she needed. Meditation books and the like weren't helping like she hoped they would.
[Kirby]: No shit Sherlock. You're supposed to do the actual meditation, not just read about it.
[Fufu]: Is that really how we’re ending this segment? Seems rather abrupt.
[Kirby]: No kidding. All this build up to her living on her own with her depression, and we don’t even get to really see it. He might as well of written “she was sad for two years” and saved us a couple hundred words.
It was after the second year ended that she finally got what she needed. Her mind finally shifted in a way that would help her. The nightmares stopped, the breakdowns ceased, and she started smiling a lot.
[Talon]: In what universe would it be seen as normal if Blake was smiling a lot? She doesn’t readily show her emotions to the world like that.
The progress she had been making increased rapidly, and just as RWY
[Talon]: -was wondering where their catcher was.
was beginning its third year, she was certain that she was ready to go back to Beacon and become a Huntress. Some of her 'progress' had been training herself how to fight again, she was a bit rusty, but it would do. It was muscle memory, as soon as she started sparring with other students, she would regain her skills quickly.
And she did. Her newfound determination and confidence seemed to make her a better fighter than ever before. Sure, she graduated two years behind Ruby and Jaune's teams, but what mattered was that she had done it!
[Kirby]: Okay, quick question: Is she still a member of Team RWBY? Because she really shouldn’t be, because that leaves Team RWBY without a fourth member in a system where everything seems to be done in four-person teams as well as leaving Blake without a team for her last two years.
[Kirby]: But, of course, the author never explains this obvious problem, probably because he just didn’t care. Just like in Bullshit Hug Chapter, where he couldn’t be bothered to come up with a reason why Weiss was upset; he skips over basic storytelling to focus on the only thing he cares about: AJ.
[Kirby]: Blake’s recovery? The rest of Team RWBY being supportive? Every-fucking-thing that happened in those two years? Of course he couldn’t write about that! Because it would involve them coming to terms with what happened and moving on. But author needs everything to be about AJ, so he skips over what is the most interesting parts of a sad!fic, the healing process. The parts where the characters talk about what happened, help each other, and support one another. The parts where they fight, breakdown, and apologize. The parts where they go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. THAT is what people reading sad!fic want to see, but we can’t because author cannot allow the characters to be without AJ. So they’re not allowed to move on; no catharsis, no closure, no goodbye. So that, despite being dead, AJ is still the center of everyone’s motivation.
[Kirby]: And just like with Hug Bullshit, the idea of the story could work. Coping with the loss of a teammate over several years could make an interesting story. And I’d even say that AJ being the one to die actually does give him a place in the story (unlike Hug Chapter, where he could have been replaced by Yang with very little difference). But the focus would have to be on the healing, not the person who died.
[Kirby]: It would also probably need to be a story proper, not a one-shot, as it would take a lot of time to do right, but you get what I’m saying right?
"So, you believe you are ready to come back to my school?" Ozpin asked.
[Kirby]: AJ: “You see that!!! I made a reference to the first episode!!! I’m so clever!!!!! Praise my smart-y-ness!!!!!1!!11!!!!!!” Also, why is this flashback here when it could have been put in the story chronologically?
"I do." Blake answered with a nod and a smile.
"You are certain that you are prepared, mentally and physically, to continue at Beacon Academy?" Ozpin asked.
[Talon]: Did Jaune go through this same questioning when he entered the school?
[Kirby]: Eh, probably not.
"I am." Blake answered.
"What changed? One day your teammates came back and told me that you had been smiling a lot lately. Months later, here you are." Ozpin noted.
[Talon]: Scroll up for my point about how Blake smiling a lot is not normal… Actually, maybe Ozpin has a right to be questioning Blake’s mental state. If I saw Blake smiling a lot, I’d be worried that she finally snapped.
"My mind finally… shifted in a way that I needed it to." Blake answered after some thought, the light smile not leaving her face. "It wasn't the way I expected it to, but I finally had the mental change that I needed. Now I can be calm, I can focus… I can really smile again."
"What happened? In what way did your mind shift?" Ozpin asked.
[Fufu]: Well clearly her left lobe was a bit too far to the left, but it's centred now.
"Does it matter?" Blake asked in response.
Ozpin paused for just a moment. 'Why is she smiling so much? It's as if she never lost him.'
[Kirby]: Way to prove my previous point. Author steered the conversation back to AJ as soon as the opportunity presented itself.
"It does matter. If you don't tell me what changed, I won't know for certain that you really are ready to come back here."
[Kirby]: Ozpin “I'm giving you a reason to wank about AJ as much as you can.”
For the first time since she walked in, Blake actually frowned. "I see your point. Fair enough." But she soon smiled again at the thought.
[Kirby]: -of wanking.
"It used to be that I avoided thinking about him at all costs. I could only be sad at the thought that I would never see him again, never have him hold me, never get to hold and comfort him… It is still a sad thought, and I know that. I will never get to kiss him again…" She looked down sadly for a moment before smiling again.
"What happened to ([Kirby]: *my) mind was…
[Kirby]: ‘Kay Blake, I’ma let you finish, but let me say a thing. WARNING! What follows is some of the most disturbing shit ProAJ has ever dished out. Every single sentence glorifies how dependent Blake is on AJ. And quite frankly, it scares the shit out of me that the author thinks this is a healthy way to cope with loss.
I stopped being sad when I thought about him. Instead, I always thought about how nice he was. I think about how it feels to be held by him if I'm ever sad. I started imagining he was in the room with me whenever I was alone,and then I didn't feel alone.
[Talon]: CODE RED, CODE RED… wait, that’s not high enough here. CODE: THIS FUCKING BITCH IS INSANE! DO NOT LET HER BACK IN THE SCHOOL!
Blake BellaSwanna: 53
[Talon]: This deserves ten points because FUCKING HALLUCINATING is not a method to get over grief, MEYER PROAJ. It is an indication that SHE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP!
Sometimes I would imagine him saying nice things to me, and sometimes I would talk back.
[Talon]: Nice things like how pretty your eyes are and… how pretty your eyes are! Seriously, you can count all the times he said something nice to Blake on one hand. Otherwise, he was still a condescending arsehole.
I stopped thinking about the good times and wishing I could have them again, and instead just imagined those times were here with me.
Sometimes when I'm talking with Ruby, Weiss, and Yang, I would imagine that he's there with us. The whole team is back together, all smiling and laughing. He would make funny comments
[Fufu]: They weren’t funny. This is a little narcissistic on the author’s part, plus anytime AJ did interject on what were jokes in the original show, he’d simply ruin them.
on things the others would say and I would have to hold back my laughter.
[Talon]: Okay, Ozpin, are you listening to this shit? Blake is not only smiling a lot but laughing a lot too! THERE IS SOMETHING CLEARLY WRONG WITH HER! SHE IS UNHINGED!
I can just imagine him here with us, trying to convince you to let me back in to ([Talon]: *into) the school. Heh. Or maybe he would be trying to keep me from going back here, trying to get me to stay in the apartment that we live in together.
[Kirby]: It would be the second one, dearie. Because why would AJ want you to fulfill your goals when he can just have you to himself?
Blake BellaSwanna: 54
I know what it sounds like, but I'm not stupid or anything.
[Talon]: No Blake, you can only be as smart as the author writing you, and anyone who can write this drivel and expect it to be taken seriously is stupid.
I know he isn't really there, but just picturing him there, smiling at me, makes me feel all warm inside,
Blake BellaSwanna: 55
[Talon]: Because the only way Blake can be happy is by imagining her man.
like when he was really there and really did smile at me. If I try hard to remember, I can feel him hugging me and cuddling and sleeping together, it helps me sleep without nightmares. Sometimes we both stand on the balcony and look out at the city together. I'm not telling my team about him though, I don't want them to think I'm crazy. Because I know I sound like I'm crazy, but I imagine him there on purpose, I'm not seeing things, I know he isn't really there.
[Kirby]: Blake. YOU ARE CRAZY! I’m sorry, but she’s living in some sort of insane denial. This isn’t healing, this isn’t even coping, this is flat out refusing to accept the truth. HE’S DEAD! PRETENDING THAT HE ISN’T IS HALLUCINATING! AND THAT’S NOT FUCKING HEALTHY!
I figured I would move on in some other way, but instead, now I just imagine he's with me, and it turns out that that's all I really need. I'm happy now. I'm finally mentally stable! *Chuckle* But really, I'm ok now. I'm ready. I can fight, I can study, I can do things on my own again."
[Kirby]: Oh my god. I… I don’t… where to even…
[Talon]: *raises hand* Let’s just start with how overall, this is sending a bad message. Blake is very obviously hallucinating here - this is not a coping mechanism nor should it ever be considered as such. In fact, hallucinations NEVER occur as a benefit to the hallucinator, they occur when the mind is in crisis. Often they accompany a neurological or psychological illness, and should be immediately seen to by a doctor. However, you can also have them due to drug use or from being depraved apparent stimulus for certain sensory receptors over a prolonged time.
[Talon]: In either case, having a hallucination is severe, and needs to be looked at immediately by a medical expert. (Or in the case of drug use, you might want to make sure you’re not using those drugs on your own and stay in a relatively safe environment; not that I’m supporting drug use) And here, Blake saying she’s “ok” should be disregarded because having hallucinations are dangerous, especially in her line of work! For one: if she’s hallucinating the existence of Boy, how does she know for certain that anything else she’s seeing isn’t a hallucination as well? Maybe she’s also been hallucinating that her friends were around when in reality, they haven’t visited her once in those two years. It’s not like Blake could know for sure.
[Talon]: Furthermore, what were to happen if she were out fighting Grim and the hallucination persisted in battle? Could she be so certain she wouldn’t make a mistake and rush to the aid of someone who wasn’t actually there, thus endangering herself and others? And it’s not like she can just “not think” of him during battle, because if this really is a hallucination, then she won’t have control of when the hallucinations happens. It’s not the same as imagining something.
[Talon]: And I know that throughout this, ProAJ has described it as it being Blake’s imagination but that doesn’t hold up when you look at her description. She has these imaginations while her friends are around talking to her; just try to hold a conversation with someone and also imagine something else at the same time. You’ll find out very quickly you won’t be able to focus on the conversation that well, or that you’ll get caught up in the conversation that you forget whatever you were imagining. If this was voluntary, it would mean that Blake has no interest in her friends, which again, is not how it’s described when we do get told about her friends meeting her.
[Talon]: Now, of course, let’s say I were to be fair and go along with what ProAJ wanted and say that this was just her imagination. Well, in that case, I still say she wasn’t sane enough to be coming back to school either. It’s been two fucking years, and she still can’t go to bed without bawling her eyes out without her fucked damn imaginary fucking teddy bear! There is only so long that someone can be in the denial stage of grief before it becomes unhealthy.
[Talon]: This was not like the beginning of this fic where she was still crying a month later - some people do need more time to deal with it, and I am willing to be lenient and say that a person can still be crying a month later after the death of someone close to them. But this is two fucking years later, and she still hasn’t accepted his death! Generally, if it’s been six months later, and you still can’t accept that someone has died, you might need to consider talking to a psychologist or a counsellor because at this point it’s evident that you have some issue that is preventing you from moving on. And I will apply this logic on Blake: she should be seeking counselling by now! And if she’s unwilling to seek it herself, Ozpin should be insisting she go to a professional because as a teacher he should be fucking concerned about her mental well being!
[Talon]: Speaking of Ozpin; why is he asking her this after two years? Considering it was his idea to force her out of the school and give her an apartment to herself, you’d think he’d actually be checking up on her regularly. Plus doesn’t this defeat the purpose of his plan? He wanted her to take a break - and let us pretend for a moment that isolating a mourning person is a perfectly sensible thing to do - so that she can get over Boy and come back with a healthy mindset. Wouldn’t it be logical to regularly visit her and see for yourself how she was developing? It’s not like Blake couldn’t have waited a month and then come back, lying about the state of her psyche. Since Ozpin was keeping her isolated and wasn’t even bothering to check on her himself, he’d have no way to disprove her claims that she was fine when she wasn’t.
[Talon]: God damn, this has gotten way longer than I intended, but really, there was no other way to put this. This entire section is filled with so much wrong, that it’s genuinely difficult to not go on a rant for every sentence when we finally can put into words what we find wrong with the section.
"It sounds like having an imaginary friend." Ozpin noted.
[Fufu]: Which is mainly something little kids do. Sure, some inventive people can create characters later on in life, but to actually interact with them and see them as though they were real, in most cases, that’s seen as an issue.
Blake frowned at that. "I don't like how it sounds when you put it that way."
[Talon]: If you don’t like how that sounds, then you’re certainly not going to like it if someone were actually honest with you. Because I’d be more likely to say you were hallucinating, going insane, going off the deep end, losing your grip on reality, having a false sense of perception without apparent stimulus, or losing your fucking marbles. Need I go on?
"I apologize. I did not mean to upset you."
[Talon]: Why? What was upsetting about that? He pretty much sugar coated. Or is this because we can’t hurt the sensitive sensibilities of the precious love interest?
Blake BellaSwanna: 56
Blake sighed reluctantly. "It's alright. You aren't really wrong."
"Well, you truly think you are ready, so it would be wrong to turn you down.
[Kirby]: NO! FUCK NO! GOD DAMMIT OZ! She needs a doctor! Take this woman to see some help! PLEASE! CALL DOCTOR OOBLECK!
[Fufu]: But he’s probably not a medical doctor! What could he do?!
[Kirby]: Provide a rational point of view! Because Ozpin’s been smoking the strong stuff again!
[Fufu]: Stuff better be so strong he hallucinates an AJ as well…
[Kirby]: Maybe this has all just been a hallucination. The question is, whose?
[Fufu]: Nora’s after a pancake high?
[Kirby]: I feel like that would involve a lot more Ursa riding.
Welcome back to Beacon, Blake Belladonna." Ozpin said before shaking her hand firmly.
Blake went back down the elevator with a big smile on her face.
[Kirby]:
Ozpin paused for a few moments longer before speaking. "You have been awfully quiet. You haven't expressed your dislike with my decision."
Glynda
[Kirby]: -materialized from the void.
hesitated. "It… it sounds more like a coping mechanism than real recovery."
[Kirby]: THANK YOU GLYNDA!
[Talon]: I said before but I’ll say it again: Glynda is our voice of reason in this crappysack world!
"You don't believe her coping is a permanent solution?" Ozpin asked.
"I do not."
[Kirby]: HOLY SHIT! I LOVE THIS WOMAN!
"Well… I have faith in her. I believe that this 'coping' is just what she needed. It is a safe solution to her mental state. As long as it holds, she will succeed."
[Kirby]: There’s the rub; “as long as it holds”. Which means that her current sanity is extremely fragile and liable to break at the most inopportune moment. Which, considering how dangerous it is to be a huntress, will probably result in her death.
[Talon]: But just before… you were just questioning Glynda for not thinking it was a permanent solution… and here you are now… admitting it’s not. I just…
Ozpin said before leaning back in his chair and drinking his coffee.
[Kirby]: Ozpin: “Ahhh, Glynda remind me to thank Team RWBY for these excellent coffee beans.”
[Fufu]: Glynda: “I’m fairly certain they came back injured, and Blake is even on the brink because of that “mission”.”
[Kirby]: Ozpin: “Worth it.”
([Kirby]: Fun Fact, apparently it’s not coffee in Ozpin’s mug, it’s hot chocolate.)
At first, Team RWBY went on missions together.
[Kirby]: How? Blake graduated two years later! Did the rest of Team RWBY just sit on their asses waiting for her?!
[Talon]: HOLD IT! What’s the actual context of this sentence? We just came off of a flashback of Blake getting accepted back into the school. At least specify whether or not this is happening at Beacon or if this is after Blake graduated! I would like to know in what ways the Stuthor messed up so that I can accurately gripe about it.
[Fufu]: Y’know what, fuckit. I don’t even care if there’s not much fic left, I’m leaving, I can’t handle this. *slams the door shut; locks it*
[Talon]: WHAT?! WHO SAID YOU COULD LEAVE?! NO! DON’T LEAVE ME IN HERE!!!!!!1! *claws on door*
[Kirby]: Crap, she got away! *calls through the door* PICK UP SOME SNACKS WHILE YOU’RE OUT!
[Fufu]: *calls back* FINE, BUT YOU’RE PAYING ME BACK LATER!
But, soon they went on solo missions,
[Kirby]: What any of these missions involved will not expanded on, because the author doesn’t care.
and from then on they never went on missions together ever again.
[Talon]: Why were they on missions together in the first place? Are they working at the same place? Because if so, then why wouldn’t they be going on missions together ever? It doesn’t seem logical that a job would decide “okay, you can all start working in teams, but eventually, we want you to solo and never need to work in teams no matter how many Grimm there are to fight!”, they would decide on how many huntsmen/women they’d need depending on what the mission was. And if they weren’t working in the same place, why the fuck would they be working on missions together in the first place? They may not be working in the same city for all you know! But you know, it’s not like any of this needs to be elaborated on. Oh, no! Otherwise we would be taking away from tripe on Blake’s fweewins.
Any time one of them was done with a mission, the others were still on missions, there was no time to wait for them though, because they needed to head back out as soon as possible.
They still met up from time to time. They never stopped being friends, they never stopped being teammates.
[Kirby]: And yet, they don’t go on missions together anymore.
[Talon]: And let’s not forget that Blake taking two years off from school meant she was no longer part of team RWBY.
Sometimes one of them would change and fall a bit out of touch, but the team worked hard to make sure they never fell completely out of touch.
[Kirby]: How and how? Fuck, I don’t even care anymore.
…
One day Blake went on a mission and never came back…
[Talon]: And here we are, ladies, gentlemen and sporkers! The big pay-off for everything we’ve had to sit through thus far. After all this shit the Stuthor has forced on Blake throughout this chapter, she finally can’t take it anymore and commits suicide.
[Talon]: Now certainly, the death of a beloved character has evoked many emotions in all of us. Sadness. Denial. Anger at the injustice. Grief in all of its forms. But never fear, I have the video that accurately reflects all the emotions that are welling up inside you at this moment!
Click to view[Talon]: Yeah, this reveal was so bland and obvious that I can’t even bring myself to care. I was able to get angry at the insult to Blake’s character throughout all of this chapter but then when we finally hit this reveal, I couldn’t muster anything. It’s just lacking emotion, not to mention that with how insulting the rest of this chapter was, her committing suicide has no impact in comparison. I can’t even feel bad because I’m seeing a character I love being killed off, because with how much her character’s been butchered I can’t even identify her as the Blake we know and love.
It was a fear they live with every moment, but that didn't make the pain any duller. There was so much wrong with her death.
[Kirby]: How so? Was there suspicion of foul play?
[Talon]: This is why you should never underestimate the strength of the chicken Grimm!
[Kirby]: *Bah dum tish*
Why her? After all the work she put into making it as a Huntress? After all the pain she went through?
[Talon]: It truly is a tragedy. And it all could have been avoided if she had a Sassy Gay Friend™!
In a way, her pain was over now, but that didn't make it right. She shouldn't have been the first one to be lost.
[Kirby]: ProAJ: It should have been Weiss, of course.
There was one thing though. One thing that they could take solace in.
[Talon]: They finally had extra wardrobe space! Who’d have thought that Blake needed so much room for all her bows?
She thought they didn't know, but they could tell. Sure, she had started smiling a lot more all of the sudden, but that wasn't all. There were times, rare times, times that lasted just a moment, where she would have a different smile, and a different look in her eyes.
That look…
That smile…
They had nearly forgotten what those looked like on her, but they still knew it all too well.
[Kirby]: It was the same look she got whenever she drank Ozpin’s special tea.
That smile was reserved for him, and him alone.
Blake BellaSwanna: 57
[Talon]: Was it a crooked smile?
It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on with her.
[Talon]: She was reading porn in the library while pretending that she was studying.
And that was what they could take solace in.
She went on a mission alone.
But
[Talon]: -she forgot that it ended with That One Boss, and hadn’t stocked up on enough healing items for it.
she didn't die alone, and in pain.
[Kirby]:
She died with him by her side. They knew that he would have appeared before her like an angel and held her and comforted her as she passed away.
Blake BellaSwanna: 58
[Talon]: Two points. One for implying that she was hallucinating his appearance at the time of her death, and one for the fact that they’re calling him an angel, just like with all the sparkly angels in the Twilight series.
She died in peace, that was what they could take solace in.
[Kirby]: Because the rest of Team RWBY, as well as JNPR and SSSN, just barely give a damn, apparently. Fuck, it drives me nuts how little ProAJ thinks of Blake’s friendships. But hey, they’re just friends not her twue wuv so fuck ‘em.
Blake BellaSwanna: 59
Truly, her pain was over.
[Talon]: Her time of the month finally ended!
She was with him again.
[Kirby]: Of course she is, of fucking course she fucking is.
[Talon]: Because that’s all that matters. Why care about any of her damned friends?
Blake BellaSwanna: 60
And maybe, just maybe, she wasn't just imagining him on purpose. Maybe he really was there, comforting her. But no one will ever know.
[Kirby]: ...AJ killed her. Tell me I’m wrong.
[Talon]: I won’t, since regardless of how, he’s responsible for her death. I wouldn’t be surprised that her dependence on AJ meant that she killed herself just to be with him. After all, the way he treats her is abusive, and considering how hostile he is to anyone who doesn’t do as he wishes, there was never a way for Blake to escape. You could argue that she has a case of Stockholm Syndrome here, since she technically had the opportunity to be free of him but she’s already sympathised with her abuser and believes he cared about her, thus she chose to give up her freedom instead.
[Kirby]: Psh. I just think that he never died and then followed her on her mission to stab her in the back. Makes sense to me.
[Talon]: Well, we really can’t dismiss any theory. We never actually got any details on how Blake died. She just “went on a mission and never came back”. For all we know, she decided to jump off a cliff just so that she could see his face one last time.
Blake BellaSwanna: 61
(It's okay it's not canon OH GOD STOP CRYING I'M SORRY)
[Kirby]: Shut the fuck up.
Wow, I actually had to hold back tears a bit at the end there…
[Kirby]: Why, because you had a disappointing finish?
So… I was tempted to give you a feels warning… but I felt like that would just spoil what was coming. If the feels were really going to hit, you would need to not see it coming, right?
[Talon]: Actually no, if the feels were going to hit, it’d happen regardless. You just need to know how not to suck at writing emotion. Or characters for that matter.
Blake BellaSwanna: 62
I have no idea why this idea came up, but for some reason, when it did, I decided I needed to write it. The feels were too strong not to write.
Well that's all I got to say. I hope you all have/had a great day!
[Kirby]:
Hey, that rhymes! :D
[Talon]: You know what else rhymes? The words fuck and suck, which both can be used to describe this chapter because it fucking sucks!
[Kirby]: Good god does it ever! This was so hard to get through guys, way more so than any other chapter.
[Talon]: Wasn’t it? Just look at this count!
Blake BellaSwanna: 62
[Talon]: That is a concrete value on how much utter bullshit is in this oneshot!
[Kirby]: Seriously! That number is way too damn high! I am soooooo tired~.
[Talon]: Well too bad, we’re going to need to finish this shitfic properly. Speaking of which… *bangs on the door* OI FUFU! WE’RE DONE IN HERE!
[Fufu]: *re-enters with snacks* I don’t know what you’re gonna repay me in, given the different currencies, but it was a fair bit of money.
[Kirby]: Do you take Pokédollars, Bells, or Septims?
[Talon]: I plan to repay in you by letting you have the floor with finishing up this shitfic. *puts an emu in front of the door* And this time, you’re not leaving early until we’re properly done~
[Fufu]: What do you want me to say? This fic is bullshit and I struggled enough to get through it. The end.
[Kirby]: This is the worst thing ProAJ’s ever written. It’s worse than chapter 5, worse than chapter 7, and worse than chapter 11. Because this chapter isn’t just jipping from canon and defiling characters; its crime is far worse, it’s BORING!!!!! There’s none of the charm of the original show here, none of the humour, none of the action, none of the character. It doesn’t feel like how Blake would deal with the loss of a loved one, because he won’t let her move on.
[Talon]: This entire chapter had me constantly asking this one question: WHY DOES BOY EVEN LIKE BLAKE? Everything here isn’t describing how Blake would handle the death of a loved one; in fact, it’s not anything remotely close to how Blake would handle it. This proves how little ProAJ knows of this character, yet he’s insisted on pairing his SI with her. So why does his SI love Blake? It’s clearly not for her personality because the Stuthor proved he doesn’t know or respect her personality. It’s definitely not because of them sharing an experience together because he wrote it as love at first sight. As far as the only reason given for why Boy likes Blake is because she has pretty eyes, and that’s about it.
[Talon]: Also, the fact that he doesn’t know Blake’s character at all is what makes this chapter so fucking painful to go through. We’re not just reading a bad story, we’re reading a bad story about a boring, stupid, and useless character who shares a name with a fairly superior character from the RWBY series. We can’t even really get angry at this because this chapter isn’t even shitting on Blake: this character Boy is dating is not Blake in any stretch of the imagination, other than in name. And to be honest, none of us give a shit about how dependant and useless he wants to make his own OC.
[Talon]: Yet even when looking at it from that perspective, this chapter is still so horrendous. This chapter is meant to be focusing on the character that the Stuthor chose to be his waifu, and showing how true their love is. But it fails in both regards. If you can’t even get the basics of your chosen waifu/husbando’s personality down, then you can’t claim your SI loves that character because that is not love. If you love someone, even if it’s not romantically, you generally KNOW them, because you also give a damn about their personality as well. Furthermore, if the only way to show that your characters are in love by having one being unable to live without the other, then YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! That is not love, that is called obsession and obsession isn’t love.
[Talon]: This is a common mistake used by Suethors in all fandoms. We’ve all seen it. We all hate it. And we all dread it when we see it being used by professionals. It’s usually understandable when Suethors do it, because it’s being written by young teens who have never experienced romantic love. However, that doesn’t mean it can be free from criticism. In fact, it makes it all the more painful to go through because those of us who know better knows how damaging the implication of this Twu Wuv can be.
[Talon]: I know we’ve already finished with the count from the ficlette, but I just have to bring it up again to add more points to it because this is a big offence that not only Meyer is guilty of but many YA romance novels. Our romantic leads are in twu wuv but honestly have no legitimate reason to like each other, let alone love each other. And for that offence, I’m giving the count another 58 points! For EVERY fucking time we had to sit through this bullshit in the main series (as counted by Kirby).
Blake BellaSwanna: 120 - Final Count
[Kirby]: Holy shit, look at that number. Even before our rage-adding, there is no reason why this story should have so many similarities to the shit that is Twilight. But still, here we are with ProAJ writing Blake as useless, needy Bella; because that’s his ideal relationship, where his woman has no life and only thinks of him at all times. I seriously hope that author grows up, because if he’s expecting a future girlfriend to be like this… well I suppose it’s possible, but it won’t be a healthy relationship for either party.
[Talon]: If he doesn’t grow out of it, it’s more likely he’ll get into his first relationship and then have a cry about it on tumblr how unfair real life is before manning the fuck up.
[Fufu]: We need to find something else to do, by this point, we’re just giving the author more exposure, and it’s doing nothing for us except mentally draining us.
[Talon]: Maybe you two should take a break from this series, and look into something else for a while~
[Fufu]: If you think you’re getting out of sporks just because we brought you in to do this “franchise” with us, you can think again. You’re stuck with us. *wields the Spork Note* I have your name in here!
[Talon]: Remind me to change my name after this.
[Kirby]: Pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. But yeah, we super need a break from this. I kinda want to get back to sporking my shitty Kirby fic.
[Fufu]: And I’ve still got my solo spork to continue...
[Talon]: And I’ve got nothing to do but to go back to my regular life and be happy ^^
[Fufu]: *hits with the Spork Note* Even if you didn’t start those with us, we will either drag you in with us, or find something for us to do together. And we can come back to this.
[Talon]: Thanks, for dashing all my hopes and dreams.
[Kirby]: So, this is the end of the Plus One sporkings, for now at least. Keep an eye on our journals for future projects! And thank you for reading!
[Fufu]: It’s only the end for now. Because guys, this author and his fics is literally killing us. Well, not literally but you get it. Though we do still have a lot of his work on the backburner ready to be dealt with when we feel we can handle it. But right now, we’re done. We’ve dealt with too much of his work, and this one piece was the last straw. We need a break from his bullshit.
[Talon]: Until then, we’ll be suffering on some other badfic series. See you all around next time~
[Fufu]: Yeah next time. For something that won’t be Plus One related.
[Kirby]: Hallelujah!